This just in...

John McCain has suspended his presidential campaign once again. He says he'll keep it suspended until President Obama drops the public option or until he gets a bottle of bourbon to mix with his Ensure. Stay tuned for more details on this developing story...

Lord Cheney got yet another one wrong

The callous cancerous tumor we call our Vice President got yet another one wrong in a recent interview with ABC. He said that President Bush had it worse than the 4000 dead American soldiers because the responsibility of sending them to war rested on Bush's shoulders.

How delusional is that uncaring unfeeling old bastard?

To say that Bush has it rough in this illegal immoral war is an impeachable offense in and of itself. Bush doesn't have to put on a uniform and go fight for the multinational corporations like he's made thousands of our men and women do. He won't ever get shot or killed on a field of battle and he certainly won't ever suffer from a disabling wound. He won't come home paralyzed from the neck down and he won't ever be severely injured and made little more than a vegetable as a result of having to go fight a war that should never ever have been waged in the first place. Neither Bush nor his family will ever have to suffer him going off to countless deployments to hold people hostage in their own country while they suffer through a civil war that we caused. Barbara Bush won't ever have to worry if her son's war wounds were exacerbated by being exposed to weapons that contained depleted uranium. Laura Bush won't ever have to worry if her husband comes home in one piece or not. Jenna and Not Jenna will always have their daddy around in one piece and they certainly won't have to worry about him suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for the rest of his life.

But you know what? Thousands of military families will have to suffer through all that. Thousands of our soldiers will have to suffer and possibly die because Bush and Cheney sent them to war.

And let's think of the Iraqi people for just a minute. I'm willing to bet they're suffering a hell of a lot more over this war than George Fucking Bush ever will. He's got a nice house to live in, he's got his family around him, he's a got a job, all his ill gotten wealth, he's got his future ahead of him, what have the Iraqi people got? They've got no electricity, little medical care, little fresh water or food, they've got terrorists in their country that weren't there until we illegally invaded. They've also got the US military holding them hostage so that Bush and Cheney can rake in millions of dollars in war profits.

You know what Lord Cheney? I'd say Bush and yourself have it pretty fucking easy in this war. All either of you have to do is to order more death and dismemberment so you and your pals in Haliburton, KBR, and Blackwater can rake in millions more in blood money. You know what else Lord Cheney? If you chickenhawks have it so rough, how about you try putting on combat fatigues and going to fight in Iraq. Your "boss" says if he didn't have to run things over here he'd love to be in Afghanistan, maybe if and when you two ever leave office you'll both go do your patriotic duty and go fight over there. And while we're at it, you can take all the war hawks in Congress, all the corporate media war cheerleaders, and all the folks in the military industrial complex who were war boosters with you and then you maybe our young men and women can come home.

You are an international disgrace Lord Cheney and you can't be gone from office soon enough to suit me.

You load 16 tons and what do you get?

These days you get more absurd crap from this guy: Yep, that's the guy who owns the mine in Utah where those six miners are buried now and where some rescuers died when they tried to dig them out. But have no fear, those brave miners and rescuers did not die in vain, or would it be vein? The memory of those brave men will live on because Mr. Murray wants to reopen the mine in question! That's right, the bodies of those dead miners are still warm but that's not going to stop the relentless march of disaster capitalism!


From Think Progress:
Yesterday, Crandall Canyon mine co-owner Robert Murray said that while he plans to “abandon any effort” to mine at the site of the initial collapse where six miners were trapped, he believes “that other parts of the mine remained safe for work and that mining should resume.” An MSHA official said he was “shocked that the subject was even brought up.”


Don't get the wrong impression about all this though, Mr. Murray is suffering as much if not more than the miners and their grieving families.


From the AP:
Coal mine boss Bob Murray said he is hurt and stung by criticism that he operated an unsafe mine and wasn't doing enough to find six miners trapped more than two weeks ago in a cave-in. "I didn't desert anybody,'' he said early Wednesday, responding to victims' relatives who say officials have given up on finding their loved ones. "I've been living on this mountain every day, living in a little trailer.''


My god what a heroic sacrifice! He's living in a little trailer! Do I smell a Time Man of the Year award for his noble sacrifice? Nobel Prize? MacArthur Genius Grant perhaps? When you stop and think about what this man has lost in the past few weeks it should make you weep. He's lost valuable exploitation of the workers time, he's lost money due to his mine being closed, and now he tell us he's given up living in one of his luxury homes! I am on my knees worshipping this selfless human being. Move over Gandhi, step aside Mother Theresa, get off that cloud Martin Luther King, there's a new humanitarian in town!

If there is any justice in this world or the next then Murray the Mine Owner will be locked in a prison cell with Michael Vick and they'll both die long painful deaths.

You want scary?

This is feckin' scary. Many thanks to Madam D Cup for her post about it. She said it better than I will so go read her post here. As an added bonus she used that great tinfoil underwear picture again!

A quick question

How big an incompetent douchebag must Gonzo be if he can't get any support from assholes like these?

It boggles the mind.

Hey Hillary...

... who's going to sell us out to the multinational corporations and to military industrial complex even more than King George The Dumbass?

Ok, got it. Thanks.

Hypocrisy's finest hour

So let me get this straight,Rep. Zach Wamp (R) TN and Rep. Eric Cantor (R) VA are demanding that the only Muslim member of Congress, Rep. Keith Ellison (D) MN,

apologize for a remark he made that dared to compare what Bush did after 9/11 to what Hitler did after the Reischstag fire, even though he did not say Bush was actually behind the 9/11 attacks, he just noted the similar power grab and the subsequent consolidation of power after said power grab. (Shout out to my pal Sandra at Concerned TN Citizens for her post on this whole affair.)

While this guy, family values Senator from LA David Vitter who said that Bill Clinton's moral lapse should prevent him from holding public office,

admits he used an illegal escort service, not once but several times, gets to stay on as a "family values" US Senator and he gets to keep his job on Rudy's Presidential campaign.

I know Rudy, it's enough to give anyone a headache. And while I'm at it, so is your attempt to fool people into thinking that your a great terrorist fighter. You didn't do a damn thing to fight terror after 9/11 or even after they attacked your city the first time. What you are sir is a great rider of coat tails and you're:

When Harry was young

Since the new Harry Potter movie is out and the last book is almost out I wanted to tell you all my favorite Harry Potter story. I've been hooked for quite awhile on Ms. Rowling's books and the movie versions of same, I'm not a snob like some adults are about the Potter books. They may not be "great literature," but honestly, who the hell reads that shit anyway? I like the story and the underlying themes of good versus evil and friendship versus duty.



Anyway, I was hyped up like crazy to see the first movie. Back in those days I still had a dial up connection and I was on Compuserve. They had some kind of discussion forum about the Harry Potter movie and the theme was "Is Harry Potter bad for kids?"

Some Reich wing Christian twit was saying how the film was a recruiting tool for Satan and what not so I decided to have some fun. I left a message on the forum that while the film was just entertainment, that it did indeed bring me and my "family" closer to the Dark One. This humorless idiot left a message crowing about how she was right and that she would pray for my "family" and me. Not wanting to let an asshole have the last word I sent her a message back telling her to pray for all the people who were deathly ill as a result of corporate greed and for those who were oppressed by the USA and it's allies and I also suggested she lighten the fuck up and stop being such a pain in everyone's ass. What was her comeback you ask? She called me a Communist witch lover.

I laughed so hard I nearly missed my Warlock Politburo meeting.

Reason # 6782 Not To Be A Christian

It's pretty shameful in a country where we are supposed to have freedom of religion, which means all religions, that some damn Christian thugs try to squelch a Hindu holy man from saying a prayer in the US Senate. What they want is freedom of religion all right, but only for their religion, the bastards.

And now a message from our Idiot in Chief

"Hey Amurica, sit on this and spin. I'm tha decider and I decide that Scooter don't have to go to jail. If ya'll don't like it, then ya'll kin suck my balls. I'm the rich white guy who done be yer boss so ya'll got ta do what I want.

I could care less if I sentence thousands of brown skinned people to a life of hell, theys not Jesus lovers like me anyway so fuck them. I don't care if your sons and daughters go fight them brown skinned pagans either. If they die too, then that ain't no skin off my ball sack. My kids is safe and so is mah familys. See Amurica, I only care about you if you is rich white and on mah side.

I could care less if Scooty-pooty was convicted in a court of law that was presided over by a Republican appointed judge and prosecuted by a Republican Federal DA dude. It don't make a damn to me if the appeals court that said Scooty-bab-ooty should go to jail right now is made up of mostly Republicans. Theys all gots it wrong. I may not know my ass from a hole in the ground but I knows I'm right and theys be wrong.

This communism-utation should send a signal to all ya'll whiners that I look out fer people, people who hepped me. The rest of ya'll can suck my ass."

And now my response to the Idiot in Chief:

You god damned criminal pig fucker you. How dare you stop the wheels of justice so you can spare your lilly white assed friend? How dare you corrupt our system of justice and our government more than you already have? What kind of twisted ethics and morals do you have that condemns so many people to die but spares a convicted felon who was caught doing your evil bidding?



People of America, citizens who still value justice and sanity in this world, is this Libby sentence commutation the outrage that will finally send you over the edge?


IMPEACH THE MOTHERFUCKER ALREADY!!!!!!!



I want you to stand up and demand that Bush/Cheney be impeached and imprisoned. To the barricades my brothers and sisters! Get rid of the traitors by all legal means!!!

From the Department of I Can't Believe That Idiot Said That

From a Reuters story I saw via Huffington Post:

"One day the good Lord will take Fidel Castro away," Bush said in answer to a question after a speech at the Naval War College.

Hey George, most of the world is saying the same thing about you. How do you feel about that?

You know who wouldn't say such stupid asinine things?

I'm not as nice as Dennis is, but technically it's against the law to say out loud what I'd like to see happen to Georgie, so I'll just keep quiet.

Except to say, VOTE FOR KUCINICH IN 2008. And not just because he's hot, but because not including me, he's the best choice for President.

A Modest Business Proposal

I got this in my gmail inbox today from mu_xinsheng_012@yahoo.com.cn

Hello,
I want to apologise for contacting you through this manner. My name is Mu Xinsheng (Ex=Minister of General Administration of Customs of the Peoples Republic of China).Forgive me if you see my business proposal as shameful and not honourable because of my governmental status.

But please excuse me and understand that this is the situation I am and must find a credible partner outside Hong Kong preferably in the western world where i intend to invest and help charity.

In my years of government service as Narcotics Control Commission and General Adminstration of Customs, I have received kick backs from smugglers and business people seeking favours from me and as a public officer my bank accounts are monitored hence I kept the funds Thirty Five million United states dollars for safe keeping abroad.

I want you to receive the money which has been in deposit since the last Two years.
When the money is in your bank account,I want to use Thirty Percent of the money for charity to help orphanage Children suffering (You will spare head this project and my name will not be mentioned).

You will receive Twenty Percent as your commission and I will take the remaining fifty Percent as my share which I intend to settle with in your country.

Please consider this proposal and reply to me soon. It will certainly do you no good to report me to my government authorities or give out this information to anybody because doing so will only destroy my person and my career.

I will send you more details when you reply to my message.

Regards,
Mu Xinsheng (JP).


Sorry Mu, I just had to share this with everyone. But don't worry I'll come visit your ass in prison, if they don't kill you for your internal organs first.

Stupid is mighty strong

I was going to write a post about my heart attack and I was going to use an old punchline for the title but when I googled (suck on that you Google goons, I didn't use a capital letter when I made a verb out of your company name) the punchline, something most disturbing came up.

It seems that a blogger had already used this particular punchline for a post he had written. Now that in and of itself would not be a bad thing but what was bad about it was this blogger had used this punchline as a title for a post that he wrote that was part of his ongoing series of posts that deny the Holocaust took place. This blogger, who I will not link to or name for fear that someone will find him and give him the attention he craves, had found a picture of another well known blogger, one who is left leaning but not one I read or link to, and posted this picture on his hateful little blog. He wrote that the left leaning blogger who's picture he posted did not look like he was of the Jewish faith. And because this left leaning blogger did not look like a typical caricature of a Jew then that helped prove his point that the Holocaust could not have happened because the Nazi's would have missed so many Jews because they all looked so different from one another. It was like getting hit in the head with the claws of a claw hammer when I read that. I looked to the side of this blog and I noticed that he had linked intelligent design websites, anti Darwin websites, and other anti Jewish and anti Holocaust websites.

I quickly clicked off his blog and back to mine. I felt dirty, and not the good kind of dirty either, after looking at such idiocy. I immediately went to the tools tab and erased my web history so as disinfect my computer.

And then it hit me, even though we've come a long way as a people, we did after all figure out which plants and animals we can eat to stay alive, fly to the moon and back, and invent the internets, we've still got a long long way to go.

Of course the Holocaust really happened. They are still finding mass graves over in Europe for christsakes. (Ouch how many sins did I just commit there? Not capitalizing the name of our alleged savior and using his name in a sentence about the mass graves of some Jews who may have been related to the people who killed him.) Or maybe it didn't happen and all those dead Jews were just pulling a prank on us, they are masters of comedy after all.

Of course evolution is real and ongoing. No matter how much they try to deny it, it's a fact. Evolution is scientifically sound and Darwin has been proven to be correct many many times over.

Of course intelligent design is nothing but nonsense. It's a creationism pig wearing lipstick. A pig in lipstick is still a fucking pig. The earth is not 6000 years old, it's millions and millions of years old. In fact, it's older than we can even fathom because our brains have not evolved enough yet to grasp just how old our earth really is.

The thing that gets me about idiots like this guy is that we know the earth is old because of a little thing called carbon dating. We, well scientists who are way fucking smarter than me, use carbon dating to accurately determine the age of things. Now if something should happen to one this idiot's loved ones and they were murdered and the body was not found for let's say years and years and then one day they found it, they would determine the date of death using carbon dating. If the killer of his loved one was convicted in part because of the carbon dated evidence then this idiot would say "Hooray for carbon dating!" And then he would turn around and say the very thing that helped convict his loved ones killer was not something that could be used to determine the age of the earth.

Bullshit. You can't pick and choose what is proveable by the scientific method, either something can be proved by it or it can't. Either you accept the FACT that earth is millions of years old or you don't. Either you accept the FACT that the Nazi's and their minions slaughtered thousands and thousands of Jews or you live in a state of denial.

After I get all worked up about someone spouting stupid racist ignorant shit on their blog I remember that we are evolved enough in the USA to allow a modicum of free speech. And free speech means all people, even ignorant idiots, are allowed to speak and say what they like.

The only bright spot in this sorry chapter is that this idiot was from California and not from around here in Tennessee. I know we have our share of evolution denyin', Jew hatin', pricks who think that NASA faked the moon landing on a soundstage in Arizona, but it's nice to see that other states have their share of those people as well.

When I see those idiots online or in person it makes me want to blow a whistle and shout, "Okay, all of you OUT OF THE GENE POOL NOW!!!" But I know that that is not possible because stupid is mighty strong.

White guys rule and all you black women are disloyal American hatin' liberal pigs

Man oh man, as the scandal that they don't want you to know about unfolds more and more at the Justice Department, the revelations keep getting more and more absurd. I just saw this over at Think Progress:

[Schlozman] appeared to be “targeting minority women lawyers” in the Civil Rights Division and was replacing them with “white, invariably Christian men.” The lawyer also alleged that “Schlozman told one recently hired attorney that it was his intention to drive these attorneys out of the Appellate Section so that he could replace them with ‘good Americans.’”

So let me get this straight, it's bad to have these types of people trying cases in the Justice Department

because they probably have been a victim of the very crimes that the Justice Department is supposed to be invesitgating.

But it's perfectly fine for guys like thisto try cases even though it's guys like them who usually commit the crimes the Justice Department should be investigating. Okay, I get it, the Bush junta is still doing things the exact opposite of the way normal people would do them.

People, I may be just a highly intelligent sexy as hell smart ass monkey but it seems obvious to me that there's plenty of stuff worth impeaching Bush and The Dark One over. The list begins with their lies that got us in the warwithoutendAmen, their war profiteering, the outing of a covert CIA agent, and this attempt to supress black voters and to fire black Justice Department attorneys so they could replace them with Jeebus loving white guys. When are they gonna listen to us and start impeaching that crowd of fucking bloodthirsty war lovin' black people hatin' jackals?

Is it just us?

Is it just us or would Scooter Libby already be behind bars if he looked like this guy?

But since our lil' felon Scooter

works for this creep,

who in turn works for this lawless douchebag,

they'll make sure he doesn't get

ed.

Give it up for the tiny dancer!

We saw this on Angry Ballerina's blog and we had had HAD to have it over here. You rock AB, no matter what Evil Spock says.

More Corporate Crap, guess who it lands on?

You got it Sparky, you and me. Yet again. I'm tempted to write that the pigs are "at it again" but then I stop and think and then I remember that they never fucking stopped.

We watched a great little gem of a documentary on Sundance tonight called The Refugees of the Blue Planet. Basically it was about the refugees that are made when a corporation gets to toss people off the land and take it over and the refugees who are forced to live elsewhere due to climate change, which is caused by corporate greed and burning fossil fuels. According to the filmmakers these types of refugees now outnumber the ones we are used to, you know the ones who get displaced by war, which is usually waged on behalf of corporations.

They focused on some islanders in the Maldives who are losing their homes due to rising sea levels, some Canadians in Alberta who are losing their homes due to oil companies drilling, and on some Brazilians who lost their homes and farms because a paper company wanted to build a eucalyptus on their land.

Looks nice huh? All those trees. Well guess what? These eucalyptus trees suck the ground dry and the people who live near them are forbidden to cut them. The corporate pigs use literally tons of pesticides to kill bugs that might harm their trees. And the company that grows these trees forced thousands of farmers off their farms so they could grow more of these trees. You know what they make out of these trees? Pulp for paper. And 95% of that pulp is for the North American and European markets. The paper they print their obscene yearly reports on, the paper they use for their advertising, the paper that they want us to buy, is made from the trees that are breaking the backs of many of our Brazilian American brothers and sisters.

Now in Canada the oil companies have pretty much free reign to drill where ever they want. And when they drill, especially in Alberta, they hit what is known as "sour gas" which is a highly poisonous gas. If some of this gas leaks out while they drill for oil, it can kill you almost instantly. They make the oil companies draw up evacuation plans in case some leaks out, but everyone knows that if enough leaks out, everyone in the area will be dead before any bogus plan can be implemented. The sad thing about this is that the government of Canada and the oil companies could care less about the ordinary citizens fear about the drilling and the sour gas leaks. They just want all the fucking oil they can drag out of the fucking earth so they can fucking sell it to us here in the US of fucking A.

Now what they're gonna tell us when we complain about it is this, "We need the oil, we need to make gas out of it. We need that pulp to make more and more paper. If we stop then the economy will grind to a halt. We must have more, we must make more, and damn you for saying anything different."

You know what? These were the same pigs who said that ending child labor was a bad idea, that labor unions were a bad idea, that the 40 hour week was a bad idea, that putting people before profits was a bad idea.

You remember the things they thought were good ideas? They thought that unlimited use of pesticides that ruin our drinking water, World Wars 1 and 2, the Korean war, the Viet Nam war, the war on Iraq and Afghanistan were good ideas. They think that raping our planet is a good idea. They think that helping the Bush Junta silence all dissent is a good idea. They think that lying to us about what we actually need and want is a good idea. They think that fucking over anyone who does not live in North America or western Europe is a good idea. They think that not paying you a decent wage for your the labor that makes them rich is a good idea. They think that them not paying taxes is a good idea.

We say: stop the madness, stop the mindless consumption, stop falling for their lies, stop being their partner in raping the planet and in their abuse of others, and stop voting for the bastards who support their bullshit.

We can fight them, there are things we can do, all of us. We can and should: shop local, eat at locally owned restaurants, buy organic food when possible, buy locally grown food and support politicians who support a sustainable viable future.

We've listened to rich white pigs who do not have our best interests at heart for long enough. It's time we took our country, our market place, and our planet back. Let's stop acting like the pigs want us to and start taking care of the things that matter to us.

It's June 12th and...

...there's still a nip in the air.

No but yeah but no but yeah but no but....

Sorry, I didn't mean to get all Vicki Pollard on your asses, and if you have no clue as to who Vicki Pollard is, then go buy Little Britain on DVD, but it's just that this whole Scooter Libby pardon thing has my simian undies in a bunch.

See, what ol' Scooter did was, no matter what the right wing flacks and Republican presidential candidates say, a crime. It is still against the law to obstruct justice. It is still against the law to lie on the witness stand. No matter what anyone says he did both those things. He damn well lied to the FBI and to a court of law about his role in the outing of a covert CIA agent. Whether he did it to protect Dick Cheney or at the behest of the White House is immaterial.

For whatever reason, he did the crime. Now the question on all of our minds is, will he do the time? The FOX Comedy network hairdos are screaming for Bush to pardon him. The Republican presidential candidates want him pardoned. Party hacks like Mary Matalin and her once Democratic husband want him pardoned. But will our Idiot in Chief pardon him?


One part of me wants to see the prick led off to prison in handcuffs with a media entourage trailing after him like hound dogs after a raccoon. He should be sent to prison for what he did, and not minimum security prison either. He should be tossed in with hard core criminals and left to fend for himself. He should be put in a cell with a big ol' hard bodied guy named Bubba. And his sentence should be lengthened. What he did was wrong and he should have to suffer for it, for many many years to come.

But then another part of me would giggle like a school girl hopped up on helium if he got pardoned by his old boss's boss. Why is that you ask? Because if he did get pardoned then people would see how corrupt, how venal, how un-American, how wrong, those Republican pricks really are. Maybe if he did get pardoned then people would rise up with fury and vote to toss out all the bastards who supported the idiot who pardoned him. And maybe just maybe if he did get pardoned, then that would be the straw that breaks the camels back and then Congress would begin to impeach Georgie and Dickweed. And if he did get a pardon then whoever the Republican nominee for President is would have to bear the brunt of that pardon and they'd lose like Ford did after he pardoned Nixon.

So you know what? Either way I'm happy. If he does time and he must wear the mantle of 'convicted felon' for the rest of his life, then hell yeah, I'm happy with that. And if they pardon him and the rest of the country wakes up and tosses out the corrupt pigs from power and a Democrat wins in 2008 in part because of that pardon, then hell yeah, I'm dope with that too.

Oh Cap'n, My Cap'n

I'm sending out a big heapin' helpin' of thanks to my liege and my pirate leader Cap'n Dyke today. She was the only blogger to write about the corporate shenanigans that Bill Moyers also talked about on his show the other night. I'm right there with ya Cap'n, lets keel haul all the greedy bastards that don't die when we blow their ships apart with the big ass cannons aboard your ship. I'm volunteering to jump over on the smoldering wreckage of their corporate greed buckets with a knife in my teeth, round up the rich white pigs, and bring them back aboard your/our ship Cap'n.

If any of you have not heard about the latest outrages committed by corporations against us then let me give you a crash course in what the sneaky fucks have been up to:

Remember when all the airlines went into bankruptcy following 9/11? They said they had to because they lost so much money when they could not fly for those few days and they lost so much business because the public was skittish about flying. Well, not too long after that they sought like hell to get wage and benefit cuts from their employees. The unions caved because they did not want their members to lose their jobs, the bankruptcy courts said, "Sure, cut their pay and benefits if you need to." Well, by gosh and by golly, the airlines did it. They cut pilots, stewardess and stewards pay, as well as the pay and benefits of the mechanics. But who did not take a pay cut during those times? Who actually got richer as a result of those cuts? The CEO's of the airlines. And now that most all of them have come out of bankruptcy, the CEO's are getting huge bonuses and huge amounts of stock, stocks that are soaring in price because the airlines are out of bankruptcy by the way. Some of them are also getting free medical and dental insurance for life even if they leave the company. What about those workers who gave them big wage and benefit concessions? They are getting dick, diddly squat, nada, zip, not a god damned thing. Oh wait, they get to keep their jobs, which are worth way less than they were years ago. Nice deal huh?

The CEO's of Halliburton, Kellog Brown and Root, Blackwater USA, Northrup Grummond, McDonald Douglass, and other corporations love the war of terror on Iraq and Afghanistan. They get no bid contracts and make obscene amounts of money off the killing of innocent people, oh sorry about that Paul Harvey, I know you hate it when people call them innocent people, but fuck you old man, they are innocent people, and off the deaths of our men and women in uniform. Everyday we spend in that disastrous war over there is another day that those pigs make money off us. That's right, us, remember this my fellow Americans, that $100 per load of laundry that we pay Halliburton, the money to buy those trucks they blow up instead of fixing, the money they pay to 5 star hotels to house visiting 'dignitaries' like Joe 'Backstabbin' Lieberman and John 'Walkin' in Baghdad' McCain, all comes from you and me, the taxpayers. We get to pay to make the world less safe, make the rich fucks richer, and to stay in a war that most of this country hates and wants out of. Nice deal huh?

This puss bag of a human being, and we hang our heads in shame when he tells anyone he is from our state, said the other day that if he gets elected President that he will take steps to make this country great again. Guess what his first step is? He says that corporations are hamstrung by high taxes and he wants to make sure they get cut. Holy shit, what kind of bizzaro world is he living in? Fred, listen up, corporations are not paying too much in taxes nor are they paying too many taxes. They DO NOT PAY ENOUGH TAXES. We need to stop coddling the corporations like we coddle, well, corporations. It must be all his years as a corporate lobbyist coming back to him. That's right boys and girls, when he was not the laziest Senator Tennessee ever saw, and when he was not "acting" on TV shows and in movies, he was a CORPORATE LOBBYIST, and he dorked a few blonde chicks with huge boobs when he was not helping companies make even more money at our expense. And he wants to be our next President. Nice deal huh?

Hey America, who was our last President that came from a corporate background? I'm blanking on his name but I remember what he looks like:

Yep. That's him. How's that corporate connection going for ya now America? If I'm not mistaken, then he's just been doing to the country what his buddies in the corporate world have been doing to us all along. And you remember his buddies don't you America? No? Let me remind you of a couple:

Kenny Boy Lay, this prick nearly was our country's Sec. of Energy. Now he's dead and so are the 401k's of almost everybody who worked for him.

White Collar Criminal McCrimestein, this Enron asshole practically had a fucking key to the Lincoln bedroom. Now the only thing key he's got is the one to his chastity belt and his cell mate just might take it from him.

So it's no wonder I'm with the Cap'n. And I'm just waiting to hear the order to overthrow the greedy pigs. Until then Cap'n, I'll keep me powder dry and me blade as sharp as sharp can be. Arrrrgh.