No surprises here

I'd like to get all worked up and write a rant about that fucking idiot who has been playing the part of the President for the past 8 years but I just can't. He's almost done and I just want him to get he fuck out. Let him go back to his adopted home state of Texas and write his delusional memoirs. Let him go gently into that murky pollution filled night and then let him be dumped into the dust bin of history with Herbert Hoover, Warren G. Harding, and the rest of the bad Presidents.

It should surprise no one that he's not taking any blame for any of the bad things he's done. It should shock no one that he and his team of criminal accomplices are trying to rewrite history to make him and themselves look better. It's not at all surprising that they try to spin his shit into gold. Sure the economy is tanking but it's not his fault. The federal response to Katrina wasn't his fault. The joke of a war he's running in Afghanistan and Iraq is not his fault. The fact that his diplomatic team never ever did anything to broker peace between Israel and the Palestinians is not his fault. The terrorism that has taken place because he invaded Iraq is not his fault. Nothing has been his fault since the first day he stepped into the Oval Office and he threw away the sign that sat on the Presidential desk that read, "The buck stops here."

Most of the country would love to see him go away like this:

But it's not going to be. The man who had intelligence data that said that Bin Laden was going to attack us and who did nothing about it is going to go get off scot free. The man who authorized waterboarding, which we said was a war crime when Japanese army officers did it after WW2, is going to go home and sleep in his race car shaped bed and he's going to dream about the time when an intellectual pipsqueak who had the conscience of a one eyed jackal was the most powerful man in the world.

********

He's going to end his delusional Presidency the way he began it, with a joke and a wink and a hale and hearty fuck you to anyone who has the gall to disagree with him. Thank goodness history will never ever absolve him of any of the bad things he done and of any of the boneheaded decisions he's made. History will judge the Bush doctrine to be a joke and in the end it will be as big a success as the Maginot Line was.

********

Damn it, I just ranted when I said I wasn't going to. Oh well, I have to get these out of my system before the grown ups take over next week and the work of repairing the damage that yet another George Bush hath wrought begins.

The first family of delusion

The Bushes are the first family of delusion and here's why:

• Bush the first wants Jeb to be President. Or a US Senator from Florida. Can someone please tell that old obsequious bag of greed that this country is not his to play with? And right after you tell him that, please tell him that after the hit job his other son did on us it'll, hopefully, be a cold day in hell before we let anyone else who sprang from his loins be in charge again. I see why papa Bush wants Jebby in office, he'll be just as good to the robber barons as his other kid was but come the hell on, does the old man not see how much his off spring is hated right now? Blind people can see it from miles away.


• Bush the second, or as I like to call him, Bush the Worst, has decided to punt the whole Middle East situation to Obama. Remember a year ago when the man who only paid attention the Middle East only if it dripped oil on his murderous blood soaked hands said that his lasting legacy would be peace between Israel and her enemies? We all see how well that turned out. For eight years they ignored the festering situation in the West Bank and Gaza. They allowed Israel to ethnically cleanse the Palestinian people and do whatever else they wanted because their version of Christianity means that there is no justice for people who suffer at the hands of their occupiers. So both the Palestinian and the Israeli populations have to suffer because Bush thinks that Jesus will come back and save his ass if Israel starts world war 3 in Gaza. Well you soon to be out of work delusional bastard, I got news for you. If Jesus actually did come back during all this fighting int he Middle East that you let happen, he's not going to pat you on the ass and tell you what a good boy you've been. Nope not at all. Jesus will however go straight to where the suffering is greatest in Gaza and he'll live with and help out the afflicted Palestinians. If you read your bible Georgie, you'd remember that Jesus was against the entrenched religious order of his day, and he'll be against the entrenched political religious order that you have inflicted on us today.


• And finally we come to Laura Bush. Technically she's only a Bush by marriage but she's bought into their delusions as well. Someone please tell her that not only is her husband a failure, he's a an epic failure. He's failure personified. He is, to paraphrase Dorothy Parker, failure with raisins. Laura honey, you're taking stand by your man to new absurd heights. Your husband failed at every policy change he tried to make. The only things he did in his reign of terror was he enriched the already obscenely wealthy corporate robber barons and he plunged us into two, count 'em two, unnecessary wars. Laura sugar, if you don't think your husband has been a failure then per haps you don't know what the word failure means. If that's the case I'd be glad to send you a dictionary so you could look the word up. And Laura, if you did look it up you'd see the face of your chicken hawk husband right next to the word failure in that dictionary.

Yeah right

When asked about the shoe throwing incident our idiot President said, "It's one way to get attention." The he added, "My way of getting attention was to plunge my country into two needless wars while I ran it's economy into the ground through deregulation, neglect, and stupidity. Just goes to show you that I'm waaaay better than some freedom hatin' shoe tossin' Iraqi journalist."

My new hero

The guy who threw his shoes at our war criminal President is my new hero. Too bad he'll probably end up in some Iraqi prison for the rest of his life. If he does spend the rest of his life in prison, which is where Bush should end up if there was any justice in this world, I know he'll spend the years wishing his aim had been better. If I ever get near enough to Bush I'll make sure when I throw my shoes at the murdering bastard they hit him square in his murderous face.

"Dang...

...someone could use a shot of vinegar and water if you know what Ah mean."


(Photo stolen from Mock Paper Scissors. Jeebus loves you Tengrain! And the rest of us are pretty fond of you as well.)

Pity the poor idiot

Poor Georgie, we've almost gotten to the end of his Presidency and he's finally seeing that his place in history is inside the shit can. He's realized that people really hate him, what other conclusion can he come to since he's got the lowest approval numbers in history. It's finally dawned on his tiny closed mind that he's going to be looked at like he was the village idiot who got lucky.

It took his stupid ass eight years but he finally got one thing right, he's going to go down in history as the worst President ever.

But on the other hand it's kind of sad to watch him scramble to save his poisonous legacy now. He's blaming everyone else for his bad job. He now claims that everyone else had the same bad pre-war intelligence that he had. But as usual, he's wrong. Only he and Dick Cheney and their cast of Quislings and toadies came up with the wild fantasy that Saddam Hussein had WMDs. Hans Blix, Scott Ritter, and the world press knew Iraq was a toothless tiger with no WMDs. Yet Bush came up with a preposterous, and possibly illegal, "doctrine" of preventative war to justify his invasion and occupation of a sovereign nation.

He's also trying to wash his hands of the economic mess his free market lassiez faire policy of deregulation at all costs has wrought. He's saying that the current financial meltdown was caused by policies that were in place a decade before he got the US Supreme Court to appoint him Commander in Chief in the year 2000. Let's do the math now shall we? Who was President a decade before W Bush managed to hoodwink his way to the oval office? Wait for it, wait for it, it was his daddy! You remember the first President Bush don't you? He was the one who didn't do the job in Iraq properly so his son had to go and invade them and in doing so he made us all less safe. So since he finished his daddy's work in Iraq, we can safely assume that he also finished his daddy's work in ruining our economy.

But history will show that

• Bush the younger took us into two wars and fought both badly because he learned nothing from the Viet Nam war. He should have learned that you can't send in 20th century army to defeat a small guerrilla movement but he didn't learn that lesson because he was too busy getting drunk and shirking his duty in the Texas Air Guard or where ever it was he sat out the Viet Nam war.
• Bush the younger pissed away the budget surplus that it took a Democratic President to achieve after years of wasteful Republican President's and their deficit spending.
• Bush the younger did not keep this country safe, after all 9/11 took place under his watch and he was warned that it would happen.
• his record of malfeasance in government oversight, remember all the cases of e coli poisonings, the mine cave ins, the lead paint on toys, etc, will most likely never be matched by another President.
• he ruled not by consensus, but by fear and division.

It's going to take years to undo the damage that idiot caused and if there was any justice in this country we'd all get the chance to sue him and his cronies for all the damage they've caused us. And if they'd let us stone him after he steps down, maybe then I'd pity the poor idiot and I'd show him the mercy he never showed the hundreds of thousands of dead Iraqis and Afghans. Or maybe not.

Here's yet another reason to not be a Christian

That Saddleback preacher guy, Rick Warren, gave our Chickenhawk in Chief an award for peace. Maybe next he'll give Amy Winehouse an award for sobriety and Jamie Lynn Spears an award for chastity.

In other Rick Warren news, he's got a closet full of shoes like these:

Say amen somebody!

Delusional Republican watch

Right to the bitter end of their economically disastrous, blood soaked, greed fueled reign of terror of the last 30 odd years the GOP is as delusional as the day is long in Alaska in the summer time. Here's the proof:

• Our Idiot in Chief, the man under whom our surplus was squandered down the rat hole of Iraq, the man under whom the attacks of 9/11 happened, the man under whom our economy has tanked, the man who led the ineffectual and deadly response to Katrina, is now claiming that it's a good thing he's in charge during the current economic meltdown because he's got a good group of people working for him. Holy shit, when did it become a good thing that the people who caused most of the mess are the same ones who caused the mess in the first place?
  
• They found that Caribou Barbie, now one hundred percent witchcraft free!, abused her power when she fired that guy who wouldn't fire her brother in law. The findings, which came from a committee that had more than twice as many Republicans as Democrats on it, were interpreted by the Bush McCain campaign as exonerating the Great White MILF. Mind boggling isn't it?


• And finally Sarah "Mother of the Year?" Palin used her little daughter Piper as a human shield in Philadelphia the other night. She stuck the hapless kid in a Flyer's jersey when she dropped the puck at an NHL game in an attempt to deflect boos from the mostly Democratic crowd. It didn't work and she had the gall to complain that the people in the stands were booing her kid. Hey dumb ass, they weren't booing your kid, they were booing you and your ancient running mate.

Oh well, I guess Forrest Gump's mom was right when she said that stupid is as stupid does.

Civics, it's not just for nerds like me any more

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George and Laura...

...finally bought Jenna's wedding gift.

It's official

You can go ahead and add Gordon Brown to the list of delusional politicians.   Seriously Gordon, we've got enough on our hands dealing with our idiot President, how about you scurry home and stay out of our business until we get rid of Boy George.

Just so we're clear...

These Cretans live and work here: But these two cretins work here: Everybody clear on that now?

Good.

(This post is in honor of my friend Joseph F. who is the smartest man in the world. Joseph was born and raised in Crete, but luckily enough for us he lives in the USA now.)

"Last one left standing...

...next to the idiot from the USA is a rotten egg!"

(Tip of the fez to my friend Jane Austen Jr. for sending me this picture.)

Let's hear it for the April Fool!

The April Fool told us:

• that by going to war we'd make peace.
• that he was going to be the environmental president, yet he did nothing about climate change.
• that American business must have more government welfare to be competitive, while the rest of us see cuts in Medicaid, Food Stamps, and other government programs.
• he'd make us safer by fighting terrorists in Iraq, a country where there was little or no terrorist activity before we invaded.
• we had to surrender our civil liberties here at home so we could help the Iraqi's get theirs.
• that we have to fight for Iraqi freedom and to bring democracy to the Middle East while he ignores the democratic people's movements in Tibet and other places.
• says he supports democracy around the world but he will not deal with the democratically elected governments in Iran and Venezuela.
• we're winning in Iraq when there is little fighting and that we're also winning in Iraq when there is lots of fighting and more senseless death.
• that we can't afford to give everyone single payer not for profit health care, we can only afford to give it to him and his pals in power.

I'm not sure who the bigger fool is at this point, him, or the idiots who voted for him because they believed all his lies. I don't know about you but I'm more than ready to revolt if the April Fool decides that he's going to stay on as our Idiot in Chief past next January. Who's with me?

Intervention

Are you familiar with this show on A&E?I've watched it a few times, mainly after Sparky went to bed because it's not her kind of TV show, and I saw an episode last night on A&E On Demand about a young woman in CA who is a drunk, a meth addict, and a stripper. During her intervention she was laughing at her family and all the people who were trying to help her. Eventually she broke down and agreed to go into treatment but she lasted about 3 weeks before they tossed her out. Then when she got back to CA after betting tossed from treatment she said she wasn't going back to get any more help. So her family had her arrested on some outstanding warrants against her. The judge gave her a choice of 90 days in jail or enroll in a two year drug and alcohol treatment, the crazy woman chose jail because she wanted to get out, have a drink, and then go back to stripping. Some people never learn.

But when it comes down to it, she's no different from this guy:He's sick, he refuses all help, and he keeps plunging himself and us in deeper with his antics. He took us into an illegal immoral unethical war and after over one million people dead and millions of other lives shattered he keeps us there because he thinks history or his god will vindicate him in the end. He's addicted to war and to making sure his corporate pals make obscene profits off of his big adventure. If FDR or Harry Truman had fought WW2 and the Korean War with cost plus contracts for war material providers then they would have been impeached as soon as the first bomb dropped. Instead they did the right thing, they fought wars with open and transparent financing. Truman and FDR also went to war with clear defined objectives and with the full backing the US Congress and most of the citizens of this country, unlike Bush who went to war with only the backing of the Republicans in Congress, some turncoat Democrats, and the corporate media.
Driving his addiction to war is our addiction to oil. We're all addicted to it here in the USA and our Idiot in Chief is merely enabling our addiction that is ruining our planet. Just like the guy in the above picture we're drunk on oil and petroleum related products. We're as drunk on oil as Bush is drunk on power. I think it's too late for an invervention on Bush but we can all do something about our addiction to oil. I'm not going to put a laundry list of things you can do to ease your use of oil and petroleum based products, most of you know what you need to do, so please, get off your asses and start doing it. And come November you need to vote out anyone in Congress and in your city and state who won't help us get clean and sober from our oil addiction.

Let's go back once again down deep in the bowels of the White House

(Our sensitive White House mics picked up this conversation recently.)

Dang, who left the TV on down here? Must have been Not Jenna, she watches all those smart aleck shows on all them fancy dan news networks. What's that say? Am I an idiot? Heh heh heh, I may be, but I'm still President until I leave heh heh heh. Damn I looked good in that suit. And my finger smelled real good that day too. I remember it like it was yesterday, hell it could have been yesterday for all I know. Hang on, what did I do yesterday?
Was yesterday the day I wore them fancy silky dresses with Pooter and that Chinaman?
No sir.
No? Who said that? Who's there?
It's me daddy. Jenna.
Oh hey baby girl, come here and give daddy some body sugar.
Num num nums, that makes Daddy feel so good when you rub up against him honey.
Umm Daddy, this is kind of creeping me out. I'm getting married soon so can we stop this kind of thing now?
In a minute baby, Daddy is almost there. He's almost to his happy place. Talk dirty to me honey and this'll go faster.
Oh ok, if you promise to hurry it up. Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton...
Yeah baby. More.
Medicaid, welfare checks...
Oh baby, you're so nasty....
Daddy, hurry up!
Almost...there...say it...baby doll...
TAX CUTS!!!!
Aieeeeeeeeeee, yes oh yes.
You know how to make Daddy feel good don't you? What am I gonna do without you? How am I gonna get along when you get married?
You'll manage. Maybe you'll get Mom to rub up against you.
(Our mics picked up a thumping sound.)
Hey, I recognize that beat, it's my Negro friends! Go let them in Jenna and then you run along.
Yo Prezi-dizzle, what up hometown?
Not much a nothing guys. I'm just sitting around doing my simple President thang. You know, I'm keeping it real for you black soul brother men.
(A phone rings.)
Hello? Karl is that you? I can't hear you. Speak up dang it. Karl? Karl? Aww screw you, whoever you are. If you ain't going to speak up then I'm gonna hang up!
Yo, Dub-a-dizzle, you had the phone all backwards and shit. We told you about that shit last time we hung with you.
Oh yeah. Heh heh heh, I forgot. Hey you guys got any Chronic on your bad selves? I sure could use something to relax me. I'm all worried about this Iraq war stuff. I think I might have made a mistake in sending our boys over there. I think maybe we're in a quagmire we can never get out of. I think maybe I've squandered too much of our country's money over there. I also may have fucked up by cutting taxes so much on my rich friends, the remaining tax burden on the working class and the poor may be too much for them to bear.
(All three men erupt in laughter.)
Dang G, you almost got through that with out crackin' up.
It's a good thing I'm not stoned yet or I'd be on the floor laughing my ass off. Pass me that joint my dusky black a Moor buddy.
(The room falls silent as the men smoke up. Then a loud female voice is heard.)
George? Are you down there smoking in the basement again?
Oh shit! It's Mom!
Later Prez-i-dizzle Dub-a-dizzle, we're out of here. Your Moms scares the shizzle out of us.
Okay fellers, ya'll be good. Thanks for the buzz! Bye now!
George? What are you doing down there?
Don't come down here Mom, I'm not smoking pot I promise. I'm just choking my chicken, that's all!

Man, I love being President. After I finish choking my chicken, I'm gonna cut taxes for my buddies once more and then I'll bomb Iran before my buzz wears off. Hail to the Chief bitches!!!!

Here's a scary thought

Of all the people who despise this ass rocket and who want him out of office, there are some who want him gone because he has been too easy on the "terrorists" and because he's not been conservative enough.Oh, one more thing, have you ever noticed that you never see laughing smiling black people in his audiences?

Georgie, can you hear me now?

I'm guessing by now you all heard that our Idiot in Chief said in his last press conference that he hadn't heard that gas may hit $4 a gallon soon. He's admitted more than once that he lives in a bubble inside the White House and that he has to rely on his advisers to tell him what's going down, so we shouldn't have been surprised that he didn't have a clue as to what the hell is going down out here in the rest of the country. But it turns out that things are worse than we feared, there are many more things he has not heard about while living inside the White House. And here are just a few of them:

• He hasn't heard that in war you get horrific facial injuries and you get scarred for life.

• He hasn't heard that most homeless people would like to live in a home but they can't afford one.
• He hasn't heard that you can't cut taxes and prosecute an illegal war and expect to balance the budget.
• He hasn't heard that Jenna and Not Jenna have been riding the Twinkie train a tad too much.
• He hasn't heard that the vast majority of Americans incomes have dropped significantly since he's been in office.
• He has not heard that most people in this country want him out of office now.
• He has not heard the latest Billy Bragg CD.
• He hasn't heard that medical care for Iraqi and Afghan children is substandard.
• He hasn't heard that the vast majority of people in this country want the wars on Iraq and Afghanistan to be over this second.
• He has not heard that his war has made us less safe and that our country is now viewed in a negative light across the planet.
• He has not heard that limbs lost in war do not magically grow back.

Hang on, maybe he has heard all that stuff and he's just pretending that he hasn't. Maybe he's heard all that stuff all along and he just doesn't give a shit.

The ass rocket speaks

Did anyone besides me catch the irony of our Idiot in Chief telling Turkey to strike quick, do their nasty business in Iraq, and then get out fast? Bush is barely the President of this country, is he now also the President of Iraq? Too bad that he can't follow his own advice on Iraq.

I would like to thank him for his endorsement of Barak Obama today though. What's that? You missed it? He endorsed Obama when he attacked him and said how wrong his plans to actually use diplomacy to talk to our enemies were. When you realize that everything Bush has ever said while President has been wrong, then you'll know that his tantrum about Obama was his way of endorsing him.

The question is, am our Preznit be learnin'?

And the answer is yes! Well, maybe I'm being a little optimistic since he thinks what he learned applies only to Africa, but at least it's a start.

Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll learn that we should get out of Iraq before there are more of these:

And more of these:

But I have a feeling that we're going to see a shitload more of these:

And more of these before our Idiot in Chief learns that his war was a giant fuck up.

The lunacy of all this is that 19% of the people in this country still support him. I can only hope that a majority of us in November vote for a Democrat for President and we don't let Bush McCain continue the failed war of terror on Iraq and Afghanistan.