Thursday, June 30, 2016

It's time for more science experiments for conservatives!

Empty out a jar filled with smallpox and Ebola in a room full of liberals, then measure how many of them get sick and or die.  Remind the ones who are dying that their savior, Charles Darwin, said that only the strong survive.

Slip some cocaine or meth in to your liberal college professors tea or coffee.  Chart how long it takes them to become a drug fiend and then anonymously turn them in for using drugs on campus.  If they get fired loudly complain about all the money your state run college is wasting on hiring 'qualified' candidates and insist that your school hire someone who has been home schooled by a band of climate change denying evangelical Baptist trailer park dwellers from the Ozarks.  

Flash Morse Code messages at known homosexuals.  If any of them respond, 'out' them in all your social media networks, especially if you live in a state where there is no equal protection for gay people.  Then measure the levels of ruckus the fired sodomites raise.  Then remind them they're going to hell but it's totally cool if they blow you as long as your wife and parents don't find out.

Listen to your parents when they have sex.  If they sound like they're doing anything other than missionary position in order to procreate, make a note of it.  Then take those notes to your local Better Baptist Bureau or to your nearest Opus Dei office and let them know your parents are deviants who deserve to be publicly shamed.  Then measure how quickly they disown you or write you out of their will.

Get as many liberals as you can hooked on the marijuana, buy it from some black jazz musicians if you have to.  Then chart all the food they eat when they get the munchies.  Give them sugary treats and see how quickly they develop diabetes. 

Eat as many hardboiled eggs as you can stand.  Then when the egg farts hit, go to a Greenpeace orgy or a Planned Parenthood clinic and see how many people you can make vomit with the stench of your egg farts.

Poop in as many neighborhood gardens as you can and then blame it on Al Gore and his band of global warming sissies.  Remind anyone who calls you a liar that only white Christian Jesus can judge you and that anyone can steal your DNA and plant it in places to discredit you, after all Satan planted all those fossils to trick people into believing in evolution.

Remember conservative warriors, we need to take science back from the egghead liberal elites and put it to work for big business and for Jesus!

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

'Sun rise'

Watercolor and ink on 17x11" paper.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

This should clear up a few things for some of you

Monday, June 27, 2016

British people tell us why they voted to leave the European Union

"I did it to piss off the French."

"I voted to leave cos it's what some geezer told me to do."

"You want that Eurotrash telling you what to do?  You want them immigrants comin' in your public loos telling you you can't have a wank from some bloke with soft hands?  Hell no you don't.  Nows you know how I felt."

"I'm old, I don't give a shit anymore."

"I'm frightened we're going to end up like Greece, broke and exhausted from all that anal sex."

"I voted for Brexit because I want us to concentrate on watching out for the Soviets."

"The EU wouldn't recognize my marriage to my horse.  That's why I voted to leave."

"Fuck that guy."

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Don't believe the hype

Hillary sure as hell won't bring them back to the left.

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Nobody likes Scotland

Click on the picture to fully enjoy this post.

Friday, June 24, 2016

Who's got two thumbs and is going to go down in British history as the worst Prime Minister ever?

This guy, David Cameron.

Hey Britain, don't let the door hit you on your way out of the European Union.

Hey British citizens, if you think the Tories are going to funnel the money they're no longer paying to be a member of the European Union into the National Health Service, you're fucking nuts. 

Hey John Cleese and Liz Hurley, go fuck yourselves for supporting the leave movement.  You're both wealthy and can leave your soon to be hell hole of a country when the recessions hit.  Millions of your fans can't.  You're both money grubbing fuck pigs.

Hey you refugee hating bastards in UKIP who think this vote is going to get you more seats in parliament, I hope you're right so that you get blamed for all the economic disaster that's coming to your new third world country.

Hey all you British people, if you thought Cameron was a bad PM, I can't wait until you get Boris Johnson as your new PM, he's going to make the disastrous Cameron years look great by comparison. 

Jo Cox died for nothing.  The Daily Mail wins.  Reap the whirlwind you dumb bastards.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

My newest comedy crush is Helen Monks

She plays Germaine in the wildly funny British import Raised by Wolves which is streaming on Acorn TV.  She picks the show up and carries it on her back.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Inaction in the US Senate on gun control, what's your reaction?

"Those rich old men know what they're doing.  I trust them completely, especially with my vagina."

"I'm too busy working four jobs to care.  Frankly, I'd be glad to get shot so I can be put out of this capitalist nightmare we're all trapped in."

"Read me the part where Jesus shot up those Roman motherfuckers with his assault rifle."

"I'm harboring ISIS terrorists in my hair."

"Better many get shot and killed than a few lose their guns."

Monday, June 20, 2016

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Happy father's day to you dad

From left to right, mom, dad, Aunt Gail, and Uncle Bob. 

Mom and dad are long gone but Gail and Bob are still here.  Bob's doing a lot better with all his various ailments, it was touch and go a few months (weeks?) back, but he's since rebounded.  This photo was taken the first Christmas after my sister Linda was killed.

I love how all of them are wearing white and Uncle Bob is looking mighty natty in his coat and tie.

Friday, June 17, 2016

Mid century British travel posters are the best

So cool, so innocently sexy.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

A few new pieces

(watercolor and ink on 17x11" paper)

'Hide and seek'
(watercolor and ink on 17x11" paper)

'Conspiracy theory' 
(watercolor and ink on 17x11" paper)

A whole new level of stupid

Some idiot was saying on Facebook that mass shootings are the fault of the anti gun crowd.  He says it's true because the anti gun crowd has cowed people into not buying guns and therefore there are less people stop stop mass shootings when they break out.

Mind blowing.  Isn't it.

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Thou shall not bear false witness

Serial liar and shitty Christian Gomer Huckabee said that only Muslims are attacking innocent people.  I guess he forgot all about these white mass murderers who attacked innocent people:

  • Tim McVeigh
  • Dylan Klebold 
  • Eric Harris
  • Jared Lee Loughner
  • James Holmes
  • Eric Rudolph
  • Anders Breivik
  • Adam Lanza
  • Dylan Roof
  • Jim David Adkisson
  • Robert Dear
I'm sure there are more but those are the ones that I just thought of without doing too much research, which proves yet again that Mike Huckabee is a fucking liar and the shitty-iest Christian ever.

Monday, June 13, 2016

No. Just no.

If you're using the mass murders in Orlando to justify your hatred of Islam then fuck right off.

If you think that somehow the people who got killed or injured in that attack 'deserved' it, then I hope you get hit by a bus and live the rest of your life in a long slow painful decline that finishes with you being buried alone in a pauper's grave.

If you still don't think we need to ban certain types of guns in the USA then don't you fucking weep, bitch, or moan when someone you love gets gunned down.

To murder this many people because you hate who they love, fuck you.  You're not fit to be around decent humans.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

All Apologies

I was consumed with getting ready for and then doing a pop up craft/art show over the past few days.  That's why I haven't posted much lately.

Thursday, June 9, 2016


'What she wore' (watercolor and ink on 11x17" paper).

I'm getting closer to what I think of as 'my style.'

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

The biggest threat to women of all ages is straight white males

Especially ones with a huge sense of entitlement.

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Arcades were awesome

Monday, June 6, 2016

Who's got the silliest hat?

"Surely it must be us.  Just look at us, we're wearing glorified baskets.  ON OUR HEADS."

"My hat may look silly, but at least I'll never starve."

"Our hats are pretty dumb too."

"Naše klobúky sú čertovsky hlúpe!"

Nope, sorry all of you, this is the silliest hat of all: