Sunday, April 20, 2014

And you thought Superman was a dick

Thanks Wings for posting this first.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Holy shit

Your cheery Easter message is here.  Seriously, click,  you'll be astounded.

"I've done the math again and again...

...and it keeps telling me if we want the finer things in life, we're going to have to sell our baby."

Friday, April 18, 2014

May I nibble your nut log?

We stopped at many of these on the interstate between Michigan and Corbin, KY when I was a teenager, mostly to go to the restroom.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Guests of this blog stay at the

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Gettin' it done

Grr baby, grrr

Phyllis Logan, aka Mrs. Hughes on Downton Abbey.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Free at last #2

Free at last

Gomer Huckabee said that there is more freedom in North Korea than there is today in the USA under President Obama.  I now invite Gomer and his wife Gomerette to move to the DPRK and enjoy all the freedom there is over there.

Somehow, I doubt he'll get off his lazy lying ass and go.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Crazy huh

Sibling Day, yeah. 

I have one sibling left. We never got along and when there was reconciliation it was always due to me. The last time I tried to reconcile with him he told me he wanted to travel, I told him to travel south, he lives in Michigan, to see me and I'd show him some sights and we'd catch up. He said he wanted to travel to Europe and Africa and he did, after embezzling tens of thousands of dollars from his last employer. He never did come to see me but he did see the inside of a jail cell after he got back from his international travels. The police took him away in handcuffs when he got back to the USA. So he'd rather commit felonies, steal tens of thousands of dollars, and do prison time than see or spend time with me. 

And that in a nutshell is why I don't get along with my only living sibling, he's a douchebag, a felony committing douchebag.  

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Current belief level is:

Friday, April 11, 2014

Summer is coming

North Plaza Motel 
'Cincinnati's finest' 

Thursday, April 10, 2014

And now here's a sock monkey with a joke

 How many people did Dick Cheney have to torture before one agreed to change his light bulb?
The answer is: none.  Dick Cheney didn't torture anyone, he's too much of a pussy to do it himself, so he got some asshole from the CIA to do it for him.

 Careful now, Cheney might shoot you in the face.

 My stars!  A talking monkey and an insubordinate woman.  I shall see to it that both are thrashed within an inch of their worthless lives!

Yes sir, I'll have the fellow who made the previous comment shot for being too lenient.  And I'll put the monkey and the insubordinate woman to death as well.  You're so right sir, the lower forms of life must not be allowed to mock the white males in power.  

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

A hipster chicken

Next stop Murderland

Clowns are always creepy.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Monday, April 7, 2014

There are other ways

People think that because things are the way they are now they've always been this way and that's the way things ought to be done forever.  But that's not true, especially when it comes to the disaster capitalism they've inflicted on us ever since the Reagan years.

Things can be different.  Capitalism doesn't need need to be predatory.  Here's two examples of modern capitalism that show us a better way:

  • Newman's Own.  Every penny of profit that Newman's Own products generate goes to charity, not to the pockets of investment bankers or Wall Street douchebags.  They've given away millions of dollars to charities.  MILLIONS. And you know what, people still buy their products knowing that all the profits from them will be given away.  I buy their salad dressing, their pasta sauces, their cookies, and other of their products as well.  I buy them even though most of the time they are higher priced than comparable products made by for profit companies.  I buy them because I want the profits from my purchase to be used to help others, not to enrich entitled white people.
  • Rick Steves.  Mr. Steves is a travel writer and tour operator.  He produces a TV for PBS about his travels in Europe and gives those shows to PBS AT NO CHARGE.  He's said time and again that he makes enough money off the sale of his travel guides and tours that he operates to be able to give those shows away.  He doesn't need to make more money off his work, so he gives those shows to PBS stations to run free of any fees which means they can run them when and how ever many times they like.  Yes, in a sense it's free advertising for Mr. Steves business but that's beside the point.  The point is he's secure enough in his business model and business life to be able to give away free product that benefits a lot of people, especially the mom and pop owned businesses that he features in his travel shows.
There are other businesses and individuals out there who are changing the face and nature of capitalism.  We need many more to do the same if we're going to survive the rule of corporations and oligarchs. 

Saturday, April 5, 2014

You know what's crazy mad fun?

Live professional wrestling.

You know it's fake, everyone else over the age of eight in the audience knows it's fake, but it's so much fun and such a spectacle, even the bottom of the ladder local matches I saw last night, you get hooked and you can't help but whoop and holler.
The performers do it for the love of performing, none of them is making any kind of money to speak of off it, so they really put their hearts in to it.  They interact with the crazy fans, who are just as much fun to watch as the wrestlers, and they put on quite a show.

I highly recommend going to see some live professional wrestling.  It's a piece of genuine Americana that you'll really love if you stop being such a snob and give yourself over to it.  It's in the same category as roller derby, once you go, you'll love it.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Abandoned in TN

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Consider the source

The Pope said that marriage between a man and a woman shows us the 'face of God,' meaning that same sex marriage does not and a nun told a high school class that masturbation makes you gay.  Anyone who believes the kind of nonsense these idiotic Christians spew deserves to be beaten with the simpleton stick.  Remember these are the same people who told us:

  • the earth was the center of of the solar system
  • the sun revolves around the earth
  • slavery was fine because it's mentioned positively in their bible
  • autopsies are bad because their god won't reanimate sliced up bodies on Judgment day
  • forks, coffee, vaccinations, and lefthandness are evil and tools of the devil
  • child labor is a good thing
  • science is a lie designed by the devil to lead people astray
  • racial discrimination is a good thing
  • marriage equality is bad.
Religion, always bad, always holding us back.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Treasure trove

You can find a cornucopia of great photos if you go to Google Images and type in 'found photographs.'

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Monday, March 31, 2014

It's here!

Mad Men series 6 is on Netflix.  I'll be busy for the next few days catching up.

Sunday, March 30, 2014


I gots one.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Friday, March 28, 2014

Movie Review Round Up

Lovelace-Good but unsettling film about the brief porn career of the female lead of the infamous porn movie Deep Throat.  Great performances all around, especially Amanda Seyfried, Peter Skaarsgard, Sharon Stone, and Chris Noth.  There's some nudity and violence directed against women in this film, so be aware.  I recommend this one but no for the squeamish among you.

The Loving Story-Very informative documentary about Mildred and Richard Loving, the couple who took the interracial marriage ban case all the way to the US  Supreme Court.  The Lovings were a simple couple who just wanted to be together and raise their kids near their families in Virginia.  They just wanted to live their lives together and to be left alone, but sometimes history has a way of making ordinary people heroes.  I defy you to watch this film and not fall in love with the late Mildred Loving.  Highly recommend this one.

Silent Running-Bruce Dern is on a spaceship with three smart asses and a shitload of plants and animals.  The guys get recalled back to earth and are told they must destroy all the ships and all it's cargo.  Dern freaks out, kills the others, and sails off with a shipload of trees, plants, animals, and some two legged robots.  I remember seeing this film in the early 1970's and thinking it was the coolest thing ever, sadly, upon reviewing I must revise that opinion.  This one sucks.  It's the logical extension of all those dystopian films like Omega Man, Soylent Green, and Planet of the Apes.  Earth has gone to hell in a hand basket, so a heroic earth worshipper sails away with plants and animals in the hopes that one day he'll colonize another world that we won't fuck up.  It's laughable really.  Recommended only for the cheese factor.

Dean Splaney-A Vicar who was a dog in a past life remembers his dog days when he's lost in drinking his favorite wine.  A pretty slight premise makes a pretty slight film.  Kind of boring too.  Not recommended.

Bounty Killer-In a dystopian future corporations take over everything and bounty killers spring up to kill corporate overlords in an effort to reign in corporate power.  High octane fun this film is.  Writing like Yoda talks I am.  Loving this ultra violent sexy film I am.  Highly recommending it I am.

Burke and Hare (2010) and Burke and Hare (1972)- These two very different films tell the story of Irish murderers Burke and Hare.  These two men found out medical schools in Edinburgh in the early part of the 19th century paid cash for cadavers to dissect so they went out murdering people and selling their corpses.  The earlier of these two films is more historically accurate but the later one is a far more entertaining film.  I recommend the 2010 version, despite it's historical inaccuracies.

Contracted-A woman shags a dude who just fucked a corpse.  The next day she starts bleeding from her orifices and then things go downhill for her from there.  Ugh. I rooted for the disease in this film.  I found most all of the leads annoying and the supporting characters to be idiots.  As the woman degenerates and her disease worsens her friends keep asking her if she's 'doing okay' when one look at her tells anyone with at least one working brain cell that she's not fucking long for this world.  I hated this one and I wanted every charcater in it to die a violent horrible death.

The Iran Job-Eye opening documentary about a b grade basketball player who wasn't quite good enough to play in the NBA but was good enough to play internationally.  He ends up playing in Iran, which is a basketball mad country.  The film documents his life during his first year playing in Iran and it shows just how tough it is to live in a modern day theocracy, especially if you're a female, he befriends a group of women.  Highly recommend this one even if you're not a basketball fan, which I am not.

The Kids Are All Right-A long time lesbian couple's kids find the guy who donated sperm their mothers used to have them with.  One of the lesbians has an affair with him and her partner finds out.  Not a bad film and I could easily see Annette Benning and Julianne Moore as the couple in question, in fact I probably fantasized about them doing it long before this film ever came out.  My only problem with this movie is it's lays all the blame for the affair at the feet of the sperm donor, Mark Ruffalo.  He's not blameless in it, but it takes two to tango.  Recommended with reservations.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

The Johnson City Press guide to great newspapering

First off most people who take our newspaper aren't used to good reporting so that frees us up a lot and we don't have to do hard hitting investigative journalism.  But if our readers don't expect good reporting from us, they do expect something for their money.

So here's what we do in lieu of real reporting, we make every story we can into an anti Obama story, it's what our readers want.  A kid lost his cat?  Blame Obama.  A senior citizen got stabbed in Walmart?  Blame Obama.  Obama wins the election? Make sure people know most people in the Tri Cities voted for Romney.

We also do lots of stories about businesses that advertise with us, after all they're the ones that pay our bills.

We also run lots of old photos, like this one because we have lots of space to fill.

We run lots of ads too, in fact, we cut stories in order to run more ads.

And when in doubt, we blame Obama and liberals again.

Lots of photos of children help keep our readers happy that there is little or no journalistic content in our paper.

So, to sum up, we run lots of photos, ads, and make every story into an anti Obama one, that's our secret to success!

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Obey, obey, obey

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

This blog has had over one million page views, so let's celebrate!

What made this blog so loved that it's pages have been viewed over one million times?  Four words: pictures of pretty women.

Salma Hayek
 Indira Varma
 Archie Panjabi
 Sarah Polley
And Hannah O'Sullivan.