Religious hypocrisy round up

• Rick Santorum said that Obama's theology wasn't a real theology, meaning of course that Rick thinks Obama isn't a real Christian because he isn't an intolerant gay hating women fearing Catholic. Lil' Ricky thinks that Protestants aren't real Christians as well, he said so in a speech. To these religious nut jobs if you're not exactly like them then you're not a Christian at all, which then means they can dismiss, marginalize, and ultimately do violence towards you, all in the name of getting you saved so you can be like them.
• Westboro Baptist can't even be bothered to protest at funerals any more. They photoshopped themselves into the site where Whitney Houston's funeral was being held. Look, if the usual suspects who are perpetually outraged over everything can't get off their asses to make all Christians look bad, then please corporate media, stop giving hateful pricks like them so much attention.
  
• It's a shame tens of Catholics are outraged over Catholic institutions that get federal money having to provide access to birth control but they're silent about their church's commitment to universal health care for all, ending war, and treating the poor with dignity. Once again the rights of fetuses who might exist trump those of people who are already born.
  

Reviews

I can't believe it took me so long to watch this beautifully shot, beautifully acted, and beautifully written biting comedy. Alec Guinness's Ealing Films are an international cinematic treasure.

This one is about a scientist, Guinness, who invents a supposedly indestructible dirt repelling fabric. He makes one suit out of it and convinces one textile manufacturer to produce a line of clothes using his new invention. Trouble arises however when everyone but Guinness figures out that if you made indestructible dirt repelling clothes then you'd run labor out of work and management would go bankrupt because after everyone had one suit of clothes they'd never need another.

It's almost quaint to see how they portrayed union labor so sympathetically in this film. It's a good snapshot of where the labor movement was in post war Britain but it's almost too hard to believe that workers ever had that much power over big business. It's also hard to believe that there was so much textile work in England.

This film is very good and it's a beautiful black and white film to boot. The whites really pop out, especially Guinness's white suit. A scene that really stands out for me is the one where the mill owner's daughter negotiates her price to seduce Guinness out of taking his invention public, she and the other mill owners quickly figure out that they may be asking her to talk to Guinness but what they're really asking is for her to whore her self out so they can keep their positions of power and dominance. It's a powerful scene. Another great scene is the one where the mill owners and the union's works committee have finally caught Guinness after chasing him through the streets. He stands before them like a lamb being taken to the slaughter and when they discover his fabric isn't what he claimed, their laughter is like knives in to his psyche. It's brilliant I tell you.

This film should be required viewing for anyone who claims to like films as an art form.

These two films are the prequel to the hit series Doc Martin. They tell the story of how the good doctor came to Cornwall and how he became accepted. These films are very different from the Doc Martin series that came after them. In these the character of Doc Martin is likeable and very easy going, there none of the uptight arrogance that comes later. In fact, these films are very sweet and they read very much like a Cornish Northern Exposure. And that's not a bad thing but the producers rightly figured out that if they kept Doc Martin a nice easy going guy then there would not be much room for character development and if they'd kept him sweet and likeable, these two films probably would have been it for the series. Wisely, they chose to make him gruff, distant, and barely likable so that they have plenty of space to explore him and his interactions with the quirky citizens of his small adopted coastal Cornwall village.

I liked these movies but I like what came after them a whole lot more.

A Monkey Mini Series Review

I'd addicted to BBC period dramas. I admit it. I just finished watching this one:It's not as socially conscious as The Way We Live Now or Lark Rise to Candleford or some of the Dickens productions are but it hooked me and reeled me in nonetheless.

A widower country doctor with an incredibly beautiful daughter meets and marries a woman with a 'troubled' daughter of her own. The new wife of the doctor turns the doctor's household upside down, much to the chagrin of his lovely daughter Molly. Molly takes solace in the friendship of a neighboring down on their luck aristocrat family. Secrets are shared, reputations nearly ruined, and romance is thwarted at nearly every turn but in the end true love triumphs.

I enjoyed this one because it focused so much on the women in the story. Yes, the men were still integral to the plot and the action but overall, this one is about the women. And what a bunch of lovely women they are. I found it hard to look at anyone but Justine Waddell, who played Molly, when she was on screen and she's on screen a lot. She's in 85 percent of the scenes, which suits me just fine. Keely Hawes plays her not so virtuous step sister and she looks magnificent but to me she pales in comparison to Ms. Waddell.

Bill Patterson, as Molly's dad, the country doctor, is very good in this production. As are Tom Hollander and Anthony Howell. But the best male performance is turned in by Michael Gambon, he plays the down on his luck neighboring squire. He's full of himself, full of bluster, and full of piss and vinegar towards those he looks down on, especially the French. He turns in a hugely winning, sometimes hysterically funny, and always great performance.

If you're a fan of British period drama, this one should be right up your alley. I highly recommend it. But don't blame me if you fall in love with Justine Waddell like I have. And no, you can't have her, she's mine. I claim her. And one of these days I'll let her know about it. I'm sure she'll be ever so pleased.

The Victorian stink eye

Molly Gibson has nothing but contempt for those who would take birth control away from women.
And she's pretty disgusted with the war on women in general.

Brunette of the year

Justine Waddell.

Big money bully

"Frank VanderSloot is an Idaho billionaire and the CEO of Melaleuca, Inc., a controversial billion-dollar-a-year company which peddles dietary supplements and cleaning products..." And he's a litigious right wing anti gay bully with deep pockets who tries to silence his critics and those he disagrees with. Fuck him. Read this article about him.

Please Mr VanderSloot, come after me. Please try to shut me up. You and your pals in the Mormon 'church' will never silence me. You anti gay piece of corporate shit.

And seriously, if you use, promote, sell, or buy Melaleuca products, you're an idiot. You're helping to fund the anti gay far right free speech hating religious agenda in this country.

Here's a few words from a minister about the current contraception brouhaha

Greetings my children. I'm the Right Reverend Peter Smell-stink. Please allow me to explain why we in positions of power in the Christian faith don't want women getting free birth control pills.

The purpose of sex is to make new babies so that they can grow up to be damned for not doing what we in the church say. That's it. This 'sex is a gift from God to be enjoyed when ever you feel like it' nonsense has got to stop. Sex is for making babies and that's it. And if those babies don't grow up to be Christians who accept everything we tell them, then they're going to hell and so are you for bringing the god damned little heretics in to the world.

If sex was for pleasure, which it isn't, then women could have sex all the time without making babies. We all know women can't control themselves. When they see a man, any man, they want to have sex with him. If they're free from the constraints of having to make babies, then it's anarchy. Why women will be wanting to have sex with

• Negroes
  
• Indians
• Beatniks
• Buggerers
• the Irish
• liberals
• Canadians
• Mexicans
• Irish emigres
  
• Methodists
• college professors
• Communists
• the Notre Dame Fighting Irish
• Democrats
• atheists
• handymen
• Irish setters
• drunks
• med students
• lawyers
• Mackerel snappers
• NBA players
• chimney sweeps
• boot blacks
• drug store cowboys
• Guinness drinkers
• feckers
• Paddys
• Fenians
• and scientists
  

And many more I assure you. If history has taught us anything, it's that women have no control over their lady parts and that they need men of God to tell them how to use and not use that slippery devil thing between their legs. So, really, we're just doing them a favor when we tell them what to do with their bodies, that way they've got plenty or time to think about women's things. Things like ribbons, baking, cleaning, having babies, flower arranging, and not having sex for pleasure.

Thanks very much for your time and I'm sure I won't see many of you in heaven, unless you do what we tell you and you give us all your money and stop asking us for any accountability. Jesus told us he hates it when you ask us to be accountable. We mean it. Now go away and make sure no women are out there fornicating.

Quick hits

• The TV Show The Big Bang Theory isn't celebrating nerd culture, it's making fun of it. It's mocking nerd culture. Next time you watch an episode of it have a look at who the butt of most all the jokes are, it's the nerds. Duh. And honestly, it's not that well written, acted, or funny. It's got one thing going for it, Kaley Cuco's chest.
• I'm no fan of Cynthia Nixon. She's one of those women who other women think we men ought to love. No. Sorry. I find her bland, boring, and unwatchable. But that's not her worst crimes in my book. Her worst crime is saying that for her, being gay is a choice. She's since tried to qualify that statement by claiming that since she's bisexual she's choosing to be with women. But the damage was done with her first statement no matter who hard she backpedals. She's given hope and comfort to the 'pray away the gay' crowd and to the hatemongers at the American Family Association and NOM. Yuck. Just take all the cash you made on that gawd awful Sex and the City franchise and go away.
  
• Rest in peace John Severin. You were a huge part of my childhood and I thank you for all your hard work and your art.
• People with Netflix instant streaming, stop bitching please. You claim there nothing to watch on instant streaming? You know what, if you only like two TV shows and one genre of films, then you're right. So shut up and cancel it and spare the rest of us your whining. I've had Netflix since October of last year and I've watched a shit ton of TV shows, feature films, and documentaries and you know what? I've still got almost 500 shows and movies in my instant queue. Broaden your tastes a bit, watch something besides movies about NASCAR and wrasslin' and you might find that there's a bunch of great stuff on Netflix. And yes, I still hate Netflix's online advertising. Fuck their pop up ads.
• I don't want to say I hope Liz Trotta gets raped by someone in the military, but if it did happen, then it would be karmic justice.
• I love how people who never served in the military know what's best for those who do. It kind of reminds me of the men who are sworn to be celibate yet who give sex and marriage advice and who want to tell women they can't use birth control pills.
• Republicans really hate Mitt Romney. It's easy to see why too, he's a sleazy greasy opportunist who never saw a bandwagon he didn't want to jump on. Don't like his position on an issue? Give him a few minutes, he'll change it.
• Thank heavens we're still keeping Afghanistan free from peace. It's totally worth bankrupting our country so those bastards live in a state of permanent war.
• Are we at war with Iran yet? If we're not the White House, Congress, the CIA, Israel, and the defense industry will get us there momentarily. Have no fears, we've got to have someplace to ship all those vets with PTSD to and we've got to use up those cruise missiles and cluster bombs we've been hoarding.
• And finally, have we won the war on religion yet? If not then where do I go to sign up to fight in it? I'm sick of militant Christians, fundamentalist Muslims, and right wing Zionists telling me that I have to be sensitive to their nutty religion. Fuck them. I do not care what they want. I want to live in a world free from their religions, so fuck them. Deal with it. Same goes for Scientologists, Mormons, Hindus, Shintos, and what ever other religions are out there. I don't believe in any of your made up fairy tales, so kindly fuck off.
  

Here's some beautiful women telling a joke

"A liberal,"

"a moderate,"

"and a conservative walk in to a bar..."

"And the bartender says, 'Hello Mr. Mitt Romney.' "

"Hahahaha, that's funny. Now, can we all make out with you Dr. Monkey? Please?"

Meep zorp...

means 'Happy Valentines Day earthlings!'

Opinions, I has them

Here's what I think about some pressing issues and current events:

• The death of Whitney Houston- Girl, what took you so long? I had you down for a drug related death years ago.
  
• CPAC- Call me when they aren't being over the top stupid racist idiots who hate black people, gays, and Hispanics.
• The Grammys- Don't give a flying fuck and I haven't ever since I stopped being a teenager.
• Lap Top Shooting Dad-He's a colossal douchebag and it's obvious where his kid got her sense of entitlement from. If he could have shot his daughter and got away with it, he would have done it because she obviously had it coming for emasculating him on the internet. He's scum and if you are one of the minority who is cheering him on, then fuck you.
• Mitt's 'cheating' ways- Santorum says Mitt cheated to win the meaningless CPAC straw poll, Ron Paul says Mitt cheated to win the Maine caucuses. Holy shit, the modern Republican party is made up of whiny twats who live to blame others for their failures.
  
• Fraudulent breast cancer charities- Komen for the Cure is a criminal enterprise. If you give them one penny of your money, it's one penny more than they deserve. The last thing those twats want is a cure for breast cancer because the day it's cured, that's the day they'd all be out of a job.
• Austerity riots in Greece and Portugal- Hey governments who keep doing the bidding of the World Bank and the IMF when it's clear your citizens do not want the austerity packages you're forcing on them, I've got two words for you: French revolution. Here's a few more words: your citizens are sharpening the guillotine blades.
  
• Roman Catholic Bishops- Old men in dresses who fuck little boys don't need birth control, so why should they be forced to let women have it? It's not like those women want that shit anyway...oh wait, what? They do want it? Well then, fuck you old dudes in dresses who fuck little boys.
• Hypocrite Catholic politicians- Fuck you Santorum. You're suddenly concerned about what the old fags who fuck little boys want? If you're all in on the birth control, abortion, and marriage equality issues your church preaches, why the fuck aren't you on the climate change and health care for all bandwagons too? Your church is for doing something about climate change and for giving free health care to all people everywhere, why the fuck aren't you as well?
  
• Beer that tastes like grapefruit juice- Stop it. Brewers, stop making that vile shit or at least put a label on the bottles so I don't have to waste my money on a six pack that tastes like grapefruit piss water. I mean it. This is not negotiable.
• Justine Waddell- Why did it take me so long to discover you Ms. Waddell? I could have been carrying a torch and secretly crushing on you for years had I discovered you earlier. Please British film and TV industry, stop hoarding and hiding beautiful women like Ms. Waddell and give a monkey a heads up on them when you discover them, will you? Thanks.

"Hello? May I speak to Dr. Monkey? This is Justine Waddell, I'm naked right now and I need to talk to him."

A damn fine pair of films

This film is one of the pillars of the Australian 'new wave' of films. It's based on a Thomas Keneally novel, which I tried to read back when I was a teenager but I couldn't get into for whatever reason. When I saw the film was going off Netflix instant next week I decided to watch it yesterday. Boy, am I glad I did.

The film is about a half white/half aborigine man named Jimmie Blacksmith. He's raised by a white minister and his wife and he wants nothing more to fit in the white world of turn of the century Australia. However, there one huge problem, turn of the century white Australia wanted nothing to do with him. He managed to scrape by on some odd jobs and to even marry a white woman after it was obvious she was pregnant, possibly with his child. After indignity after indignity and being given the shaft by employer after employer, Blacksmith goes on a rampage with first his uncle and then his brother. They murder, steal, and loot their way across the country. Driven by blind rage the white authorities throw all their resources after Blacksmith and his kin. Finally they catch and kill them all.

This is a tough film to watch because of the violence and the racism. But it's an important film to watch because of those reasons. I imagine that this film helped Australia come to grips with it's treatment of it's native population like many films of this nature did for the USA. Tommy Lewis shines as the put upon Jimmie Blacksmith who's main crimes were to want to be like whites and marrying a white woman. There are many fine performances in this film and it's definitely worth your time.

Highly recommended.


A couple loses their child to a horrific dog mauling accident. Afterwards they move to a small creepy little close knit town. One night the wife stumbles upon a secret ritual where the dead are being brought back to life. Sick with grief over the death of her daughter she pleads and begs until her husband relents and allows the locals to raise their kid from the ground. Told they have only three days with their risen child they enjoy their time with her but then on the third day, things start to go wrong. Very wrong. Very, very, wrong.

I loved this creepy atmospheric horror film. It's full of eerie locals, misty rainy nights, skullduggery, secrets, buried secrets, unburied bodies, and chilling effects. Eva Birthistle, one of my adopted actors, shines as the grief stricken, yet still super hot mother and Aidan Gillen is very good as her father. Timothy Spall is creepy good as the head local in charge of the resurrections.

I loved this film from start to finish. It never tries to be anything more than an entertaining little horror film. It sucked me right in and it held me right up through it's shocker surprise ending. I loved the use of children as objects of horror and terror and the use of animals in the story as well. It's all very creepy and eerie and very very entertaining. This one should become a cult classic in my opinion. I know I'll see it again sometime, I liked it that much.

Very highly recommended. And I'd say that even if the film didn't contain a lovemaking scene with Ms. Birthistle, hubba hubba.

Perspective, use it or lose it

A couple of quick reviews

Don't be fooled by the title, the pictures, or the size and shape of this book. It's not a book for young kids, unless they're seriously warped already.

It's just about the most brilliant thing I've ever beheld. The words are few, the illustrations are fantastic, and the story is insane. Insanely good.

I just finished watching the first series of Land Girls on Netflix instant streaming. And yes, it's brilliant as well. It's just the type of production that the BBC does so very freakin' well. It's got fully realized characters, damn good actors who bring them to life admirably, and the story is full of ups and downs that keep you entertained and absorbed.
The plot revolves around four young women sent to live and work on a farm during the early years of World War 2. And yes, there was an actual organization that was called The Women's Land Army, their task was to farm the farms of Britain so that they would not remain fallow while the men went off to war. The 'girls' get into all sorts of interpersonal dramas and they share tragedy and triumph along the way. They're not all angels with lilacs and roses for pubic hair, they all make mistakes, suffer for them, and keep on going. And yes, it's all terribly interesting and engrossing.

The four female leads are very good and very easy on the eyes. After all, they're all British babes who get down and dirty on the farm, in the fields, and behind each others backs. What's not to love? However, as good as the four leads are, the best performances of this series are turned in by the two villains Lady Hoxley and Sgt. Tucker, played by Sophie Ward and Danny Webb respectively. Lady Hoxley is as cold and distant as an iceberg is to a native of the tropics and Webb's unhinged uber patriotic sergeant in home guard is a thing of evil beauty.

I highly recommend this one.

Judi Dench wants to remind you...

...that Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, and Ron Paul will never ever be President of the United States.

TV reviews

This series is an update/reinventing of the 1970's BBC series The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin. In this one Martin Clunes plays a middle aged man who's hating his job but can't leave it because of all his financial obligations. He loves his wife, played by Fay Ripley, but he's as bored with their marriage as he is with is job. He indulges in Walter Mitty-esque flights of fancy and fantasy as he tries to cope with the stultifying life he's trapped in.

This series is okay, it's not great but it's not bad either. They made it seem too much like an American sitcom and it suffers because of that. Some of the characters are just caricatures and never rise above two dimensionality. Clunes has done better work elsewhere, as has Ripley. I'm glad I saw this one but I doubt I'll see the second series. But if I do it's because of one thing, Lucy Liemann.

Ms. Liemann plays a woman who works with Perrin. He develops an instant crush on her and they have a fling at having a fling until Perrin calls it off. The idiot.
Liemann is super cute and sexy in this series and in fact I've developed an instant crush on her as well. And I'm glad to say that she's now my imaginary British comedy girlfriend. Is that okay with you Lucy? Being my imaginary British comedy girlfriend? Say nothing, just smile if you're cool with that bit of news:
Hells yes.

In this series Stephen Fry plays an asexual small town attorney who handles all sorts of cases while dealing with all sorts of odd small town people, some of whom he's purported to be related to. He takes all cases, no matter how small or trivial, and he somehow manages to win them all while placating his nutty neighbors.

I found this series a bit twee for my tastes but I can see how others might love it, it's chocked full of the usual eccentric loveable British characters we've come to know over the years. My main problem with the show is Fry himself. He's almost sleep walking through this thing by playing a version of himself. There's no stretch to anything he does or says in this show. He's essentially a straight man who is there to react to all the 'oddballs' in his town of Market Shipborough.

My other problem with this show is that some of the oddball characters are not really odd at all, they're just annoying or worse yet, bland. Hermione Norris as Fry's half sister is super annoying and the guy who plays his brother Simon is perhaps the most boring actor I have ever seen. I wanted both of them to go away and never be seen or heard from again, and that's saying something because I usually love the work Norris turns in.

The bright spots, performance wise, in this show belong to Karl Davies, Phyllidia Law (Emma Thompson's mother), Tony Slattery, and Celia Imrie. I'll admit to having an inappropriate crush on Ms. Law, she's a silver fox.

This show is okay, it's a fun time waster but don't expect great acting, plot lines, or stories.

What are you Republicans outraged about now?

"I'm outraged Obama tried to interject religion in politics. We Republicans are the only ones allowed to do that kind of shit. Praise Gawd!"

"I'm outraged that Planned Parenthood is allowed to do abortions on women that aren't even pregnant!"

"What are you wearing baby? I'm naked and I'm rubbing my...holy shit...What? What am I outraged about? I'm outraged you're interrupting my call to my stock broker!"

"Two words: Ron Paul's prostate."

"I'm outraged that my hairdresser gave me a hairdo that makes me look like Kid from Kid N Play. Hey, what happened to them anyway? Is House Party 5 still going to be made?"

"Muslims. I'm outraged over Muslims who won't give their lives to Jesus. And Jews too. What's up with them people?"

"I'm outraged you thought I was a Republican. Did you not see my afro?"

"I'm outraged you can buy a baby chick, raise it, kill it, pluck it's feathers, cook it, and eat it but if you try to fuck it while it's still alive you get arrested. My liberty to fuck chickens is being taken from me. Will Ron Paul help me get it back or has the all powerful chicken lobby gotten to him too?"

"I'm outraged I married the guy above me who wants to fuck chickens. Do you know a good divorce lawyer?"

"I'm outraged that Obamacare won't let me have a prescription for Oxycontin and rotgut vodka."

Stupor Bowled

Since we got rid of cable this past October I have barely watched football. And I don't miss it. I absolutely don't miss the jackass commentators or the obnoxious fans of teams I hate, Dallas, Pittsburgh, Ohio State, and Notre Dame.

I usually hate the Superbowl but what I hate even more than the game is the idiots who insist they watch the game for the commercials. I want to slap them across their smug lying faces, right after I box the ears of Al Michaels and John Madden.

Sports used to be a big passion of mine but as I grow older, it means less and less to me. There's more important stuff to care about. Anymore, sports are like religion is to me, it's a way to keep people occupied so they don't pay attention to the important issues of the day. Don't worry about what the fundamentalists are doing to our laws and our nation, watch the game instead! Pay no attention to what the corporate industrial complex is doing, watch the game at church instead! Never mind 400 people have more wealth, power, and influence than 150,000,000 of us do, pray to Jesus that the game goes into overtime so we can show you more commercials for things you want to buy but don't really need.

I got over religion a long time ago, it's time now to get over sports.

A Monkey Movie Report

I watched this last night because Ben Gazzara just passed away and because I had never seen it before.

The film tells the story, and I use that term loosely in connection to this film, of a night club owner who loses big at a mob owned gambling table. He's then roped into killing a Chinese bookie who is giving the mob trouble. He kills said bookie and is then double crossed by the mob, shot but not badly enough to bring him down or really inconvenience him because he escapes from the mob and returns to his club in time to squelch unrest that is fomenting behind the scenes at his establishment.

It's a weak story that's very loosely told. The film has a very improvised aura to it and you can almost hear director John Cassavetes in the background saying, "Yeah, let's put the camera there and shoot this scene with as little light as possible. Yes! It's cinematic gold baby!" The acting, the camera angles, the lighting, the cinematography all have a devil may care attitude and they have a 'shot from the hip' feel to it. In other words, this was 'bad boy throw the rule book away' 1970's film making at it's 'finest.' They all must have thought they were reinventing story telling and film making, when in reality they weren't. Sure, the film has that cinéma vérité, hand held camera shaky look, and naturalistic performances, but it's placed on a wafer thin plot that has many holes in it and the end result is the film doesn't hold up well at all. The nightclub performance scenes are all very forced, static, boring, and simply not believable and this nightclub that Gazzara's character owns is one of those movie versions of a night club that exists only in the imagination of someone who has never been to a real nightclub, it's like one of those strip clubs you see on network TV shows.

Gazzara turns in a decent if taciturn performance and character Seymour Cassel does as well. Playboy Playmate Azizi Johori, the first black Playboy centerfold I ever saw, plays Gazzara's girlfriend who is also one of the dancers in his nightclub. She's incredibly beautiful and she brings back many sweet memories of the times I held her centerfold with one hand and admired her naked body with my other.

If you're into crazy naturalistic cinema from the 1970's, then this film is for you. It's a good snapshot of a film movement from back in the day but honestly, it's not that great. Other than Ms. Johori that is.

Shit southerners never say

• "I'm not entirely sure how to properly do this task that I need to get done, if only someone from the Midwest or New York city could come down here and tell me how to do it. Repeatedly."
• "Paula Deen is a totally accurate representation of people all over the south."
• "The toothbrush was invented here in the south because if it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called a 'teethbrush'."
• "No, I wouldn't care for any more banana pudding."
• "I find Gunter Grass novels a bit too wordy and symbolic for my taste."
• "I wish it snowed more and stayed cold longer here."
  
• "The stereotypes about people and life here in the south are totally true. Now, if you excuse me, I have to go out to the couch that's on top of the car in my yard and screw my sister before I go down to the banjo jamboree for unemployed Baptist ministers."
  

Brunette of the week

Judi Dench

Another new art piece

'A sound of pigs.'
10" x 8" mixed media on pre stretched canvass.
$50 minimum donation to my PayPal account.

More reviews

I don't know what it's like to be a minority and to grow up seeing people like me portrayed as buffoons, savages, noble stoic stewards of the earth, or drunks. Most all the people I saw in films and TV shows were the same color as me, so the things they talk about in this film didn't happen to me but I see where they're coming from.

Hollywood has willfully and woefully pigeonholed Native Americans into a few kinds of roles and it's only been since 1990 that things began to change. I grew up thinking all Indians lived in the southwestern USA and that they were either drunk or ready to start a war to take their land back. Then as I grew I saw that in the entertainment industry as a whole they got the same kind of treatment we had given them since the day we, European settlers, got here. This fine documentary tracks the evolution of how Indians are portrayed in Hollywood productions starting with silent film and going up through today. It's a fine film and it tells a much needed side to a heretofore lopsided story. I was glad to see that some of my favorite films featuring Native Americans (Little Big Man, Black Robe, Smoke Signals) were talked about in this documentary.

I highly recommend this one.


Thank gawd for Netflix. Without Netflix instant streaming I never ever would have seen this superb miniseries. It's not one I would have bought on DVD but holy shit am I glad I saw it on Netflix.

This miniseries is a satire on Victorian greed and societal mores. It's centered around a couple of families, the wealthy Melmottes and the struggling Carburys. The Melmottes are led by financial genius Augustus who seeks to win his place in British society by helping others get rich and the Carburys are led by matriarch Lady Carbury who seeks to get her children into marriages with rich partners so she can live the high society life. The problem with Augustus is he's a fraud and the problem with Lady Carbury is she can't see that her son is a feckless cad who's a drunk and a gambling addict. Other characters come in and out of the story and in the end Melmotte is unmasked for the fraud he is and Lady Carbury's kids get what they have coming to them.

This lavish production is rich in fine performances. David Suchet as Augustus Melmotte is chillingly good. Shirley Henderson is balls out great as his spurned in love daughter who ends up winning financially as her father is ruined. Matthew Macfadyen is funny and repulsive as the young cad Felix Carbury. Cheryl Campbell exudes sexiness as the matriarch of the down at their heels Carbury family, her cleavage is among the most magnificent I have ever seen, I'm pretty sure her boobs have their own gravitational pull. Cillian Murphy and Rob Brydon are great as the only honest men in London. Anne-Marie Duff shines as the girl who desperately wants to marry and who almost weds a Jewish banker but in the end is undone by her mercenary greed and religious bigotry. Paloma Baeza is sexy and winsome as the young daughter of the super sexy Lady Carbury. And Helen Schlesinger is funny and sad as the second wife of Augustus Melmotte, most of her performance is done without words so it's all pure reaction and her reactions are priceless.

This mini series is as true today as it was when it was first written. Greed is greed and it ultimately ruins those who worship it. Suchet's Melmotte could just as easily be Mitt Romney, in fact much of his dialogue sounds as if it was written by today's wealth apologists. The people in this mini series get wealthy off moving money around and just like in real life, when they do, they end up screwing working men and woman. For that reason alone I love this mini series, but I also love it because most of the honest characters who see what's going on behind the smokescreen the wealthy 'job creators' throw up are female. It's women who see the damage rich men do and by joining up with a couple of honest men, they bring down the greedy and those that need it, get punished, some get hit with the ultimate punishment.

The only thing I didn't like about this production was Miranda Otto's accent. It grates on my nerves to hear bad southern accents, especially when they come out of the mouths of actors who I usually like. But other than that, I was blown away by this timely topical and very funny satirical send up of Victorian era greed.

Super highly recommended.

For the cure my ass

Fuck you Susan G. Komen Foundation. Fuck you and your right wing appeasement agenda. I'll never give another dime to you twats. You've stopped providing grants to Planned Parenthood which helps more women than your shitty little rink dinky foundation ever will.

If you ever gave any money to these clowns at the Komen foundation I hope you give it to Planned Parenthood directly. The kunts at Komen want right wing money more than they want to save women's lives and cure cancer. Because after all, if they find a cure for breast cancer tomorrow, the kunts at Komen are out of a job, but the work that Planned Parenthood does will never see and end. Low income and working poor women will always have to rely on the health related services that PP provides. Give to the organization that really helps women, Planned Parenthood, and not the organization that is being run by right wing ideologues.

Brutally honest product reviews

This will be a semi regular feature from now on, these brutally honest product reviews. Don't look for it every day or even every week but it will be back as I encounter and try new products.

• Abita Turbodog beer-Barely drinkable dreck. It's a step above some beers but it's not too far off from being undrinkable swill. Which is surprising considering that Abita Raspberry Wheat and Abita Golden Ale are among my favorite beers ever tasted.
  
• Depot Street Brew's Eurail Golden Ale-Divine. I've yet to have a bad beer that's been made by Depot Street brewery. Sorry out of towners, it's a local brewery. You'll have to buy it here in the Tri-Cities to savor it's flavor.
• Messiah He-Brew Nut Brown Ale-Not bad, but not good either. It lacks bite and it's well not worth the $9.50 I paid for it. Leinenkugel's Fireside Nut Brown is a much better nut based beer and it's almost two bucks cheaper than the Messiah stuff.
• Want to know what evil tastes like? Here you go:
  

These noodles are shit. They taste like shit and they turned our homemade chicken noodle soup into a glutenous mass of ick. Mrs. Miller needs to go back to the test kitchen and come up with a recipe for noodles that doesn't suck as bad as these do. They are seriously bad, so bad in fact I'm willing to name them the source of all evil ever perpetrated since time began. I cooked them the according to the instructions on the over priced bag and they still sucked. No amount of cooking could help the taste and texture of these gawd awful tasting noodles. I've had good tasting no yolk noodles and these were not them. In fact, these were the stone cold polar opposite of good, they were bad. Horrible. Awful. DO NOT BUY THESE NOODLES. THEY FUCKING SUCK.

More brutally honest product reviews to come, stay tuned.

New work

'King Bea.'
Mixed media collage on 10" x 8" pre stretched canvass.
$50 minimum donation to my PayPal account, shipping and handling not included.

A Monkey Movie Report

A financially strapped elder care lawyer and wrestling coach takes some ethically challenged steps to provide financial security for his family and in the process he gains a wrestling prodigy foster son, the guardianship of an elderly ward, and gets involved in the life of a substance abuser who wants a steady flow of cash. The lawyer is basically a good guy who makes a wrong decision that nearly spirals out of control and nearly ruins all he's built.

Once again Paul Giamatti turns in a fine performance. His put upon portrayal of this nearly good character is spot on. He's everyman and the schlub you can't help but love and root for. He's all of us who try to do the decent thing no matter what and who pay the price when we for once try to take a shortcut. For my money he's one of the best actors of our time.

Amy Ryan is stellar as his wife who slowly accepts the new kid in her home. Bobby Cannavale's dickish sidekick friend of Giamatti's character is a standout as well. Alex Shaffer as the knocked around wrestling prodigy is a new talent to watch out for, at times he's a blank canvass for the other older characters to react to but at other times he's a mass of teen angst waiting to explode. My favorite Kiwi, Melanie Lynskey, is super as the kid's cash hungry mother.

All in all I really loved this fine character driven film. It's small in scale and scope but it tells a universal story about struggles we've all been through. Highly recommended.

Ooo, la la

And that's why we love them so.

Reminder

I don't write this blog for anyone but me. If you like my posts, fine. If not, then I don't give a shit. If no one read this blog I'd still write it anyway. Same thing with the art I make. I could care less if you don't like it.

Also if you're looking for 'A' list comedy material or searing political satire to be here every day, forget it. And if you feel the need to tell me I've done better posts than the one you just read, fuck off. No, really, fuck off. I don't need anyone to tell me shit like that. You don't write this blog, I do. I decide what goes on here and if you hate it, then stop fucking reading it.

That time you spent telling me much you hated my posts could be used to do something helpful, like oh, I don't know, perhaps picking up trash, reading to the blind, or eating something fatty that will clog your arteries, give you heart disease, and kill you before you have the chance to bitch about the creative endeavors of someone else.

New work

'The dead speak but we can't understand them.'
(Mixed media on pre stretched 8" x 10" canvass)
$50 minimum donation to my PayPal account, shipping and handling not included.