Hey Sylvester...

...what's your favorite song by the late Michael Jackson?

Oh okay. Thanks.

This week in swag

My lovely Aunt Gail who lives in the frozen wasteland of Michigan made us this beautiful wall hanging:
She made it for us because she's super nice and because I told her the quilt she made for us that I posted about a few months ago was too nice to use so we planned to hang it on the wall. She said that we were to use the quilt as we would any other quilt and that she'd make us something to hang on a wall.
And as you can see she's as good as her word. We love the birds, some of the bird on the wall hanging flit around our house all year long. And the colors she chose for this piece go well with our red couch and the other stuff we have in our TV room.

Thanks for the art Aunt Gail! We love it!

'Sita Sings the Blues' is the coolest film you'll probably never see

An unholy trinity of corporate profiteers, copyright weasels, and intolerant religious whack jobs, although this time they are Hindu and not Christian, have all conspired to kill this film:
It's the animated story of the Hindu gods Rama and Sita told in song, by shadow puppets, and through a modern parallel story. It's a stunning animation achievement that should be celebrated and admired for years to come. Instead the film has been hit with religious nut bags who threaten to burn any theaters in India that show it and it's been stifled by exorbitant demands for money by the shadowy assholes who own the copyright to the Jazz age songs used in the film.

As usual, intolerant religious people show themselves to be haters of any kind of free expression, in this case they hate that a western woman had the gall to make a film they feel mocks the fairy tale they believe in. They feel it's not respectful of their fairy tale and they want it quashed and some have claimed they'll use violence to quash it. It's the one thing intolerant Christians and Hindus can agree on, they both hate free expression about their chosen fairy tales.

When Nina Paley set out making this fine stunning film the music she chose was in the public domain, which means she could use it in her film and pay nothing and none to do. By the time she finished it however the law had changed and someone bought the copyright to the music. They demanded Ms. Paley pay through the nose for the rights to the Jazz age songs used in the movie. Since she had no distributor, and could not get one until she had obtained the rights to use the songs in her movie, she was screwed.

But Ms. Paley found a loophole, she decided to release the film with Creative Commons license, which means she's giving it away for free. If you like the film you can contact her and pay her whatever you like. Since it's released with a CC license anyone can remix it, add or subtract to it, or do what one likes with it, with the proviso that after you finish remixing or doing what you like to it your finished product must also be released with a CC license.

There's more about the film on Wikipedia and you can read all about it by clicking here.

Don't look for this film in your local Blockbuster or on Netflix, it's not going to be there due to the corporate weasels who stabbed Ms. Paley in the back. However it can be found online and other places if you're willing to look. And I highly recommend you do seek it out and watch it because it's by turns funny, beautiful, and astonishing. I really can't say enough good things about this film.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

Remember a few weeks ago when Jessee Ventura was on The View and Elizabeth Hasselback kept whining indignantly about how she thought Nancy Pelosi was lying about being lied to by the CIA?

Well now that it's been proven that Pelosi was right I wonder if Hasselback, seen here about to feast upon the tender baby flesh that keeps her so young looking,
is going to apologize for accusing Speaker Pelosi of lying? Somehow I doubt it because being a conservative Republican in today's world means never admitting you were wrong, even after you been proven wrong beyond any shadow of a doubt.

Posts a plenty!

There's a solid metric ton of new posts about some of the books I've got for sale over on Book Monkey. Go on, have a look and buy one or two, you know you want to.

Garden update

This is what I've gotten out of our garden in the past couple of days:
For those keeping score at home, there's hot chilies, butternut squash, yellow squash, zucchini, jalapenos, egg plant, and cucumbers.

Currently the cucumbers are the MVP of the garden. They are coming in like hotcakes and they don't appear to be showing any signs of slowing. We've been eating them like crazy for the past few weeks. We've had sliced cucumbers, cucumber spears, shaved cucumbers, cucumber surprise, various cucumber sauces, and we've taken to making them into hats when we got tired of eating them.

The various peppers are coming in nicely as well as are the watermelon. The tomatoes are finally fruiting and by the end of the month we should be up to our butts in a different varieties of tomatoes. Our broccoli has done better than I ever expected it to, we've gotten one cutting off all our plants and a second one will need to be done soon. The various squashes pretty much took over the raised bed garden and they've got blooms all over them so hopefully we'll have a bunch more yellow squash, zucchini, and butternut squashes. Our potatoes would have done better if we hadn't dug most of them up so early but in our defense we really wanted to eat some homegrown potatoes. Most of the fingerling potatoes are still in the ground so we'll have those to look forward to in a few weeks.

Sparky's herb garden has done off the charts great. We've got tons of basil, thyme, sage, fennel, mint, and more in her little plot. I'm looking forward to having a lot of that basil torn up and laid down on fresh sliced tomatoes that's been drizzled with balsamic vinegar and dotted with fresh goat cheese. We've been getting fresh goat cheese from our local farmers market.

Garden disappointments include the onions (I think I planted them into a part of the garden with too much clay so this bust may be my fault.), the carrots that never came up, the tiny pea harvest, and the cantaloupes that I planted for Sparky and her parents. The cantaloupes may come in but the onions and the rest have been disappointments. But we're looking at what we did wrong this year with an eye to improve our methods and yield next year, so it's all a big learning curve.

I hope we end up with enough tomatoes to can and to make and can some salsa. If only the weather co-operates and the rains continue to fall we should do all right for a pair of garden rookies.

Olympic Profiles-The Fastest Jew On Ice

With the Winter Games in Vancouver just a little over six months away I've already got a bad case of Olympic fever! Yes, it's true I love the Olympics. And I love the Olympiads that are held in the Americas most of all. In fact, I love them so much that I began writing, and may finish one day, a history of all the Olympiads that have been held in the Americas, and yes I am including the ones held in Canada and Mexico, because after all they are in the Americas too.

So to get you all in the Olympic state of mind, from time to time I'll be doing posts about some little known and unusual Olympians and Olympic events. And we begin this series with an excerpt from my unpublished history of the Olympiads that have been held in the Americas, which was tentatively titled American Spectacle, and the story of Irving Jaffee the fastest Jew on ice.

Jaffee was a nice Jewish boy from the streets of New York city who got into ice skating after winning multiple roller skating competitions and his Olympic story began in 1928 at the second winter Olympiad which was held in St. Moritz, Switzerland. Having just barely made the team, USOC speedskating officials felt he was not experienced enough to compete against the tougher Europeans, Jaffe was selected to skate in the long distance speed skating events, the 5000 and the 10,000 meter races. Proving his critics wrong Jaffe skated to a fourth place finish in the 5000 meter race. In fact he finished just two tenths of a second slower than the bronze medal winner.

When it came time to run the 10,000 meter race then, Jaffe was ready and rarin’ to go. When it was his turn to skate he took off like a shot and he skated magnificently. He skated so well in fact that he was in the lead, the races in 1928 were held under what was called the European system which meant that the skater were competing against the clock and not against one another, what that meant then was whoever skated the race in the shortest amount of time was the winner. Soon after he finished his brilliant 10,000 meter run Jaffee felt, as did everyone else in St. Moritz that day, the temperature rise dramatically. It rose so fast in fact that the ice on the outdoor rink began to melt.

The Olympic skating officials halted the race. They told the other skaters that as soon as conditions permitted they would be able to complete their runs. It soon became clear however that the freakishly warm weather that settled in over those games in 1928 was not going anywhere anytime soon. The skating officials then declared that since he had finished his race with the fastest time that Jaffee was the winner of the 10,000 meter race.

The next day they changed their minds. No doubt that after they slept on it they saw how unfair it was to the other skaters who had been robbed of their chance to go up against Jaffee’s time by the warm weather. They decided that since not all competitors had had a chance to race there would no winner.

Howls of protest went up from the Untied States team and for his part Jaffee was crushed. He decided then and there that he would not only make the 1932 speed skating team but that he would also skate the 10,000 meter race in his home country and he would do his damnedest to win it. He said he had to, “Prove I wasn’t a fluke champion.”

And so he began a brutal training regimen when he got back to the States after the 1928 games, which were held in Lake Placid, New York. He trained hard for the four years that led up to the games. He hit the rink most every day and after he had finished his daily skate, he would jog or hike for another two hours after that. Jaffee claimed later that his teammates and even his coach Bill Taylor resented his work ethic, he said, “Taylor and the rest of the team claimed I was a show off because I worked so hard.” It’s an incredible statement when you think about it now because how many coaches these days would complain that their charges work too hard?

The first race for Jaffee then at those 1928 Olympics in his home state of New York was the 5000 meter. It was to be the first long distance race held under the new American system of racing using the qualifying heat method and in the race there were enough skaters to provide for two qualifying heats. The first heat saw Jaffee and Edward Murphy of the United States finish first and second, in third came the speed skating legend from Norway Ivar Ballangrud , and the fourth place finisher was Harry Smyth of Canada. Qualifying from the second heat were Bernt Evenson of Norway, Herbert Taylor of the USA, and a Canadians Bill Logan and Frank Stack.

The final race was, according to the New York Times, a snooze fest. “It bore much resemblance to a six-day bicycle race where every contestant is reluctant to take the lead,” they reported. All the skaters were content to plod along and to follow behind whoever was leading at the time. The race continued on slowly until the ninth lap when the skaters began to break out of their tight pack. Edward Murphy found himself in the lead and he stayed there as the other skaters began to make their move. Jaffee, who had been in fifth place, saw a hole in the pack and darted into it. He ended up in second behind the hard charging Murphy. Close behind the leaders were Ballangrud and Smyth. When Smyth made his move to pass the Norseman, they collided and their collision knocked both men off their stride. Jaffee took full advantage of the commotion as he sped up, passed Murphy about ten yards from the finish line, and won the race and the gold medal.

The next day the controversy over the American vs. European styles of racing came to a head. Things got so heated in fact that at one point the Canadians threatened to yank their team from the final race, the grueling 10,000 meter.

After the race officials saw how the skaters dilly-dallied in the 5000 meter race the day before they sent out a decree that in the 10,000 meter qualifying heats that each lap had to be completed in 45 seconds and that each man in the race had to “bear his share of the pace setting.” The skaters grumbled about this new rule and the heads of their national delegations watched the heats with interest.

From the start the qualifying heats were a disaster due to some skaters being disqualified for either not following the “pace setter” rule or for making illegal contact with one another in the race. After the disqualifications, in an act of international unparalleled solidarity, the Finns, the Japanese, the Swedes, and the Norwegians all got together and sent a letter to the Olympic skating officials. The letter, in effect, said that the new rules stank and that they wanted a return to the old style of racing.

It was decided after a meeting of international skating officials that the results of the qualifying heats in the 10,000 meter, in which American Irving Jaffee once again qualified for the final, would be tossed out. The first results would be declared “no contest,“ the heats would be run once more the following day, and the final was to be held on the day after that. The Europeans and the Japanese all agreed to this uneasy truce.

The next day however saw a change of heart by the United States team. Over night they decided that they would not rerun the heats, they felt like they had qualified once so why should they be forced to qualify again. The United States team said they would only send their men out to skate in the finals and for some odd reason they were joined in this position by the Norwegians, yes the very same Norwegians who had signed the letter asking for a return to the old style rules. For a few moments it looked as if the final in the 10,000 meter race might not be run since all the national teams dug in their heels on the matter.

The shockingly childish behavior of the United States and Norwegian teams was brought to a crashing halt though when the head referee of the skating events, John K. Savage, ordered that all heats would be rerun. He told the teams that if they did not send their skaters to the starting line to rerun the qualifying heats then they would be barred from skating in the final. That did the trick and all the skaters lined up once more to rerun the qualifying heats.

After the heats were rerun it was, as Yogi Berra would say, déjà vu all over again. The same men who had finished well enough to qualify for the finals the day before had done so once again. The next day with the sun breaking through the heavy black clouds that hovered over Lake Placid the eight finalists in the men’s 10,000 meter race took to the starting line. They were told that each man in the race had to be the pace setter for two laps and that after all the men had completed their pacesetting then they skaters were free to race as they wanted. The skaters duly followed their orders and each man did indeed set the pace for two laps. But after they had done so “the dawdling started” once again. The pace slowed as the skaters fanned out over the entire speedskating oval. Each man seemed content to go slowly and lay in wait for the best time to make his move.

They skated that way until the bell that lets the racers know they are in the last lap rang out. The Norwegian Ballangrud found himself in the lead with Jaffee of the USA close on his heels and behind Jaffee was the Canadian, Stack.

Jaffee caught Ballangrud in the final moments of that controversy laden 10,000 meter final in Lake Placid. With Stack on his heels and Ballangrud beside him Jaffee surged ahead. He broke for the finish line and picked up speed as he made his way down the last straightaway. When he crossed the finish line he not only won the race and the gold medal but, he also put to bed any doubts of whether his time in the 1928 Olympiad in St. Moritz would have stood up as the fastest. Jaffee must have felt this victory surely vindicated his performance in the 1928 games.
He was hailed as a hero as soon as the race was finished. The Times reported that, “It was no wonder then that American officials and athletes danced with glee on the ice, pounded Jaffee on the back and shook his hand before being joined in their rousing outburst of applause by the 5,000 spectators huddled in the stands, forgetful of the cold and snow at the sight of this heart warming spectacle.”

In a sad postscript to Jaffee’s win, he would later on during the Great Depression, pawn his gold medals. He told an interviewer in the mid 1970’s that he did so because he needed the cash and that later when he went to buy back his Olympic medals, the shop had gone out of business. He told another interviewer in 1979, “I’m still looking for them…and I’ll keep looking.” It is not known if he ever found his medals before his death in 1981.

New found object of the week

I found this postcard, which is blank on the back so someone somewhere will get this in the mail some time soon, in one of the books I bought to resell on Book Monkey the other day:
Given my love of kitschy postcards I feel like it's a good omen.

Wordless post of the week

Who would know better?

It's a good thing these guys:
are accusing Judge Sotomayer of being racist and prejudiced because no one in the world is more racist than them. And that goes double for Jeff Sessions (R-Alabama). These guys make the late George Wallace look like a race traitor.

Open!

Book Monkey is open for business. Go on, check it out, you know you want to.

It's time to check in with the cleaning lady

Hey cleaning lady, you look down in the dumps. What's up? You didn't go and huff some ammonia mixed with bleach again did you?
No. I told you already I only did that those tens of times because I was drunk. No, see, I'm down in the dumps over all the nonsense the conservatives are pulling.

Oh yeah, like what?

Like this Sarah Palin shit. She ups and quits in the middle of her first term and then she says she's not a quitter and that she's actually a fighter and all the Republicans and their toads on FOX Noise fall all over themselves making excuses for her. If I upped and quit my job I'd lose my house and my car. No one lauds me for going to work every day and cleaning up after people. Oh crap, excuse me. I need to clean that off the window before it dries.


What was it?

Well Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) was just here and he got excited telling me all about his affair with his Argentine soul mate. He got so excited that he squirted some spuzz on the window.

Ewwwww.

Aaaaah, I've seen worse.

Really?

Sure. I had to clean up after Sen. Ensign (R-Nev.) and since I know some young kids read this blog, let's just say that after him and that married woman he was banging got done with their business there was lots of skidmarks on the walls and floors and and broken vials that needed cleaning up.

Broken vials? You know what was in them? Were they doing drugs?

They didn't contain drugs, they were filled with the tears of small children who were frightened by clowns. Ensign uses them as a personal lubricant. Hey, can you move for a minute? I need to scrub up the place where John McCain's adult diaper exploded.

What else is eating at you cleaning lady?

Get this, the conservatives who are getting the best health care our government has to offer want to make sure that people like me don't get it. If it's good enough for them, how come I can't have it? They say it's too expensive but hell, we've found enough money to pay for two wars. Why can't we find enough money to insure all Americans? Instead of calling it 'single payer health care for all' let's call it 'fighting the war on terror' and then they'll bend over backwards to pay for it.


You seem pretty smart cleaning lady. Why don't you run for office some day?

Because I've got too much self respect and I can't talk out of both sides of my mouth while screwing the public over at the same time. You know what I'd like to do though? I'd like to ram this vaccuum hose nozzle up all the butts of all the conservative politicians and vaccuum the hypocrisy right out of them.
Oh cleaning lady, you know they don't make a vaccuum big enough to hold all that.

Yeah, I know, it's just a dream I have. It's kind of like my other dream...

Which is?

That one day I'll be able to huff ammonia and bleach without blacking out.

Found objects of the week (so far)

Found inside of a cookbook I bought at the thrift store on Saturday:

Be on the look out for...

...Book Monkey. It's coming soon.

I forgot where I found this picture

It cracks me up every time I look at it.

Special K saves the day against a corporate health care shill

Monkey Moving Media Reviews

I picked this up at Big Lots for $3:
(Well, actually, I got the single disc version not the two disc one.) I figured how can you go wrong for $3? If it stank then I'd just swap it at the local used book/CD/DVD store and there'd be no harm, no foul.

We watched it last night and you know what? It's one of the funniest movies I've seen in ages. It skewers not only the music biopic genre, it also skewers rock stars like Bob Dylan, the Beatles, the Beach Boys, and others. It also knocks fads like disco, rock stars doing variety shows, and much more.

It was co-written and produced by Judd Apatow so it's got all the usual folks from his movies in it and as usual they are all very funny. John C. Reilly is enormously funny, he is in virtually every scene and he carries them all like a champ. His 'everyman' quality and his likability keep you laughing and rooting for him all the way through the movie. Also very funny are Kristen Wiig (as his first wife with who's dream is to live in a house made of candy),Tim Meadows (as the drummer who introduces Dewey to all kinds of different drugs), and Jenna Fischer (as Dewey's second wife and duet partner). Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Frankie Muniz, Jason Schwartzman, and Harold Ramis all shine in their cameos as well.

If you lived through the '60's, the 70's, the 80's, etc, and you paid at least a tiny bit of attention to what was going on in pop culture in the USA then you'll find this movie funny. I highly recommend this film, it's a hoot.


I usually stay away from made TV series (and movies) that are made by and for the SyFy network, but I decided to give Warehouse 13 a try. And I'm glad I did. I like it a lot.

It's about a secret government warehouse that is located in South Dakota. The warehouse is filled with paranormal, odd, and mystical objects that for one reason or another have ended up in the USA. It's the job of two Secret Service agents (they're the two on the right in the photo above) to track down new objects as they become aware of them and the other guy (the one on the far left) manages the warehouse. The premise is simple but the story possibilities are endless.

The leads have good chemistry and the pilot episode was well written and fast paced. So for now, I'm all in on this one and thanks to the wonders of the 'On Demand' channel, I can watch it whenever I want.

I've been remiss

I've been remiss in saying something about this guy:
His name is Jared and he's a member of our extended family on Sparky's side. He's her nephew by marriage to be exact. She's known him for longer than I have and I've known him for a long time. He's a nice, smart, hardworking guy and he just became a US Marine. He graduated a week or so ago from boot camp and he's officially a PFC (Private First Class) in the USMC.

For those of you who may not be know, you have to be one tough mofro to make it through boot camp and to become a Marine. We're both really proud of Jared for making it and for choosing to serve his country in this way. Our politics and his don't always match up but just because we don't always agree on political matters doesn't mean we don't love him and that we're not really proud of him, because we are. We love him a lot and we're insanely proud of him.

I hope his stint in the Marine Corps is fruitful and and good for Jared. I hope he serves his country with honor, dignity, and pride. I don't know if he reads this blog or not but I know his sister does and maybe she'll tell him about this post and about how proud of him we are, that he's in our thoughts, and that we wish him all the best.

If any of you were thinking of leaving any snide comments about him or the Marines or his choice to serve in the military in the comments section, then know that I will delete them as soon as I see them.

Quick question:

Does the USA need more
or do we need more
Choose wisely gentle readers, choose wisely.

Euro trash update

No Norwegians were harmed or unfairly smeared in the making of this post.

Who ever thinks the only place in America that is racist is the south...

...has never been to Philadelphia. Or to the midwest, or to the mountain west, or to the pacific northwest, or California.

Here's why monkeys don't want to go to heaven:

What happens when conservatives crash a peaceful July 4th picnic?

Adventures in home ownership

We think we may have our air conditioning unit fixed. As some of you may remember we got a warranty on our house when we bought it back in October. We tried using the warranty on the same unit last fall when it would not shut off, but since we did not use a warranty company approved HVAC service company we had to pay for that repair ourselves.

Then when we had a pipe burst this past winter they said it was not covered.

So when I found standing water under out unit a little over a week ago I was hesitant but I called it in anyway. The warranty company contracted the job out and the guy came out last week. He figured out what was wrong with it and shock of shocks they approved the repair. Well the AC guy had to order the part and it finally came in today and he came out and worked on it for a couple of hours this afternoon, then he said it was all good to go. I started writing him a check for the amount of the deductible and he tried to tell me I had to pay him $40 more on top of that. I politely but firmly told him that our deductible was only $100 and that's all we'd be paying him. He objected saying that the warranty company was supposed to call us to tell us that the was a $40 fee on top of the deductible for some reason he tried to tell me. I told him once again that we'd be paying the deductible and nothing more. I also said that if they wanted $40 more from us they could make their request in writing and that we'd take it under advisement. He stammered a bit, then he made a call on his cell phone. I handed him the check for $100 and thanked him for his labors and I asked for a receipt. He told me he'd have to go outside so he could talk in private to whoever he was calling and he went to his van without giving me the receipt I requested.

Next thing I know he's starting his van and he drives off from our house. No receipt, no explanation, no nothing, he just left. I think he was trying to make a little pocket money off us. If he really wants $40 extra bucks he can mark up something when he submits his bill to the warranty company, he wasn't about to chisel one more red cent out of us.

No she did not just tell herself that

Oops, I guess she did.

Cooking with Dr. Monkey

Today's episode: Groovy Guitar Girl Goes Gaga in Gotham!
Well, no, actually today's episode is spicy flank steak with peppers!

I've been wary of flank steak for some time. I know it's low in fat but usually when that label applies to a cut of beef that means the beef is going to be dry as dust when you cook it. But after seeing it prepared on The Next Food Network Star show, I decided to try it and I got some the other day. I made this recipe and it turned out juicy and fabulous. Here's what I did:
I began by slicing one third of each of the following peppers, Poblano, red bell, orange bell, and Cubanelle. I also sliced up some red onion and I sauteed it all in some canola oil that I had added one teaspoon of cumin and one table spoon of cracked black pepper to.

As the onions and peppers cooked I got my meat out. Then I beat it.
On both sides. With a tenderizing mallet.

Cook onions and peppers, cook!

I also put on some corn on the cob to boil. Mmmmmm, fresh corn.

I took my onions and peppers off the burner and I put my cast iron grill skillet on the burner and I turned the heat up so as to get my pan really hot. As the pan was heating up I rubbed some oil on both sides of my meat, lubed it up as it were. Then I patted some chili powder into it:Putting the oil on the meat instead of the pan makes less smoke and a lot less mess when you cook it. After my pan got nice and hot I put my meat in and I cooked it on both sides for about 8 minutes per side. Then I took it out and let it rest.
While the meat rested I put about four big heaping table spoons of homemade salt free salsa, Sparky's sister made it awhile back, on the peppers and onions which I then proceeded to put back on the burner over low heat. Next I thinly sliced the meat, make sure you slice it against the grain so it's not tough and chewy, and I tossed the slices in with the peppers and onions.
I took it off the heat and served it up with corn tortillas, sour cream, a little grated Wisconsin cheddar, the corn, and some freshly sliced cucumber from our garden. It was all quite tasty. I'm no longer afraid of cooking flank steak, the key is to cook it then let it rest, then slice it up.

Why don't people want to be on my blog?

I've had a bunch of great ideas for funny, politically aware, socially conscious, and ecologically friendly blog posts lately but I couldn't do them because I'm having trouble getting people to agree to be on my blog. It's been quite tiresome of late so I went to a professional to find out why people were hesitant to be on here. After minutes of studying the the problem and reading the crap I put on here Dr. Basil Boddy had this to say:
"The reasons people do not want to on this blog are many and varied, almost as many and varied as the drugs that Amy Winehouse has taken and the women that still refuse to make the beast with two backs with Robin Williams, almost but not quite. Some people agreed to be on here as long as we obscured their faces. They'll tell you why they don't want to be on your blog Dr. Monkey."

"Dude, I don't want to be on your blog because I don't have time. I'm in the middle of a fucking robbery right now, can you not see that? Maybe if I can find some time later I'll be on your blog. Okay? Oh, I nearly forgot, gimme all your cash and jewelery and then get on the floor and put your hands over your head."

"We don't want to be on your blog because we're gambling away the money from our church's bank account. Part of this money was earmarked for building a huge cross that would be bigger than the one those bastard Methodists down the block from our church put up last week and part of it was supposed to go to de-gaying the minister's son and wife. And besides we heard you're an atheist too and we figured if Jesus came back and saw us on your blog then he'd think we were atheists too and he'd smite us and make us spend eternity in some hellish place like New Jersey or Cleveland. Now go on and leave us alone."

"I don't want to be on this blog because you're a damn dirty liberal. Hey, do you know where I can score some coke? I'd really like to snort some off this gal's ninny pies, if you could make that happen then I might change my mind and agree to be on this blog with out this bar on my face. Well, jackass, can you make that happen? Can you make a middle age guy's dream come true? Can you?"

"I was on your blog once before and things went downhill for me ever since. All my tops got stolen and now I have to walk around with these god damned pasties on all the freakin' time. And someone stole all my slacks and my pubic hair as well. So all I have left is a pair of incredibly uncomfortable French cut panties and a greasy merkin. I'll probably lose those too now that I've been on your damn blog again. Thanks for nothin' monkey fart."

Well, okay then. Those appear to be some valid reasons. Carry on then.

Good riddance

Vietnam war architect and self professed World War 2 war criminal Robert McNamara
is finally dead at age 93. The average age of the boys he sent to die in Vietnam was 19. Go figure. No rest in peace for you Bob. It's times like these I wish there was a hell so he could rot in it forever. Good riddance you murdering old blood thirsty bastard, this world is better off without the likes of you in it.

And then the clown said,

Canned meat update