Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Atomic Weenie Award for Twisted Logic

Someone I usually respect said on Facebook that she really wanted third parties to break through in US elections.  She and I both live in TN, a state that Trump will win handily, so I told her since Trump is going to win anyway, she ought to publicly support and vote for a third party candidate.  She replied that she's not about to vote third party until they produce a candidate who can win.  So she's going to vote for Hillary, who will lose in TN by a sizeable margin.

Now, that's some damn fine twisted logic.  It twisted my brain so much that I had to laugh out loud to keep myself from crying.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Hey Hillary, you're welcome

I'm actually doing Hillary a favor by voting for a third party candidate in a state that Trump is going to win. I'm taking away a vote from his margin of victory over her. So she and all her supporters ought to be thanking me.


Vote Jill Stein.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Not bloody likely

 On Cradle to the Grave, a British show I really like on Acorn TV, they expect us to believe that the young protagonist who is about to get laid by his beautiful art teacher from France gives up a sure thing when he hears an explosion that might be near his house.


Sorry, no, not going to happen.  A horny young man isn't going to leave a sure thing, especially one as hot as Julie Dray, to go find out if his house exploded or not.
He's going to stay and ride that train until it comes to a complete stop.  And then he's going to ride it again and again if he can.  He'd deal with the fall out of that bitch ass explosion after he's gotten laid.

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Want some stupid?

Tim Kaine is rewarded for his incompetence by becoming Hillary's running mate.  He was in charge of the DNC when it got crushed in the 2010 mid terms.  In any other western democracy he would have been forced to resign in disgrace, but not here, nope.  Here he's allowed to run for the US Senate and then to become Hillary's running mate.  He's the living embodiment of the Peter Principle.

I'm not saying she's not going to win with him, she most likely will.  I'm saying if she wanted a slam dunk win, she should have picked a Hispanic or Asian male.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Velveeta, the early years

It's not cheese, it's cheese food.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Least liked man in the USA becomes even less liked

Asshole gets to speak at Trump's train wreck of a convention and he pisses off everybody.  Holy shit, no wonder people hate Texans, oops, I mean Canadians so much.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

The flaw in your 'logic'

Anti black lives matter white men love to tout the gang violence in Chicago as a reason not to acknowledge that there's a problem with police violence in the black community. But Philando Castile, Sandra Bland, Eric Garner, and Alton Sterling weren't from Chicago, didn't die in Chicago, and weren't gang members in Chicago.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

It's been a long Journey

The internet is a wonderful place to slam hypocrites and assholes.

Monday, July 18, 2016

After all the ugliness of last week, here's something beautiful to start the week



Nathalie Emmanuel, a perfect women.

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Friday, July 15, 2016

Inventory




Thursday, July 14, 2016

Drugs are fun!






Wednesday, July 13, 2016

No shit



All these dudes on these covers look like they're taking a massive shit.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Martin Luther King Jr was all about black lives matter

He'd be 100% in the Black Lives Matter movement of today if he was alive.  His message was that black lives mattered as much as white ones.  And for his work and trouble, white folks, probably with the help, and at least the blessing of, the FBI, killed him.

Monday, July 11, 2016

Jimmy Olsen, Superman's pal

Creepy enough for you?

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Cowards with tiny penises

They won't say his name for fear of pissing off their white redneck base.  Fuck the NRA, they're a pack of cowards with tiny dicks.

Saturday, July 9, 2016

This middle aged white guy says:


Friday, July 8, 2016

What's the connection?

Cops shoot and kill innocent black men.

Cops get shot at during protests that decry the murders of black men by the police.

What's the connection?

Guns.

Who benefits from all this gun related chaos?

Gun manufacturers and the gun lobby.

Do the fucking math.

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Been a bit under the weather

But I feel better now, well better than the chap in this illustration at any rate.

Monday, July 4, 2016

Grilling with Dr. Monkey

I read on a reputable website that I trust about how to grill the best steak you've ever eaten.  So I decided to follow what they did and to try it.  Here are my results:


They dry aged their steak in the refrigerator for 4 to five days so I did the same.  I got a regular ribeye and left in the fridge for four days.  This is what it looked like on day 1.

Day 2.

Day 3.

Day 4.

I lit my grill and let it heat up and then I grilled my steak that I had put some salt and pepper on, since my heart attack we only eat red meat a couple times a month instead of a couple of times a week, and instead of having a steak like this each, we split it and have a big salad or other summer vegetables with it.

Okay, there's my steak after I grilled it.  I let it rest and then I sliced it up and served it.

Verdict: Meh.  This was by far not the best steak ever.  The dry aging process added nothing to it that I can tell expect maybe some dryness.  I may have grilled it too long or used a smaller cut than I should have for this process.  It came out kind of dry and just meh.  But I'm willing to try it again with a bigger cut of steak, maybe a bone in ribeye or a thicker cut.  So far I am not impressed but I'm willing to try again.

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Garden 2016



We've been enjoying lettuce, radishes, onions, carrots, basil, dill, potatoes, beans, zucchini, cucumbers, and rhubarb from our garden this year.  We've still got tomatoes, tomatillos, potatoes, onions, carrots, and peppers growing. It's all been a bumper crop thanks to Sparky and all her hard work.  She tends the garden and I mow and trim the lawn.

Safety first this fourth of July!



Handle fireworks with care!

Friday, July 1, 2016

Home sweet home

They used to condition us to want to live in these death traps by putting stories about them in our reading textbooks.

Thursday, June 30, 2016

It's time for more science experiments for conservatives!

Empty out a jar filled with smallpox and Ebola in a room full of liberals, then measure how many of them get sick and or die.  Remind the ones who are dying that their savior, Charles Darwin, said that only the strong survive.


Slip some cocaine or meth in to your liberal college professors tea or coffee.  Chart how long it takes them to become a drug fiend and then anonymously turn them in for using drugs on campus.  If they get fired loudly complain about all the money your state run college is wasting on hiring 'qualified' candidates and insist that your school hire someone who has been home schooled by a band of climate change denying evangelical Baptist trailer park dwellers from the Ozarks.  

Flash Morse Code messages at known homosexuals.  If any of them respond, 'out' them in all your social media networks, especially if you live in a state where there is no equal protection for gay people.  Then measure the levels of ruckus the fired sodomites raise.  Then remind them they're going to hell but it's totally cool if they blow you as long as your wife and parents don't find out.

Listen to your parents when they have sex.  If they sound like they're doing anything other than missionary position in order to procreate, make a note of it.  Then take those notes to your local Better Baptist Bureau or to your nearest Opus Dei office and let them know your parents are deviants who deserve to be publicly shamed.  Then measure how quickly they disown you or write you out of their will.

Get as many liberals as you can hooked on the marijuana, buy it from some black jazz musicians if you have to.  Then chart all the food they eat when they get the munchies.  Give them sugary treats and see how quickly they develop diabetes. 

Eat as many hardboiled eggs as you can stand.  Then when the egg farts hit, go to a Greenpeace orgy or a Planned Parenthood clinic and see how many people you can make vomit with the stench of your egg farts.

Poop in as many neighborhood gardens as you can and then blame it on Al Gore and his band of global warming sissies.  Remind anyone who calls you a liar that only white Christian Jesus can judge you and that anyone can steal your DNA and plant it in places to discredit you, after all Satan planted all those fossils to trick people into believing in evolution.

Remember conservative warriors, we need to take science back from the egghead liberal elites and put it to work for big business and for Jesus!

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

'Sun rise'

Watercolor and ink on 17x11" paper.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

This should clear up a few things for some of you


Monday, June 27, 2016

British people tell us why they voted to leave the European Union

"I did it to piss off the French."

"I voted to leave cos it's what some geezer told me to do."

"You want that Eurotrash telling you what to do?  You want them immigrants comin' in your public loos telling you you can't have a wank from some bloke with soft hands?  Hell no you don't.  Nows you know how I felt."

"I'm old, I don't give a shit anymore."

"I'm frightened we're going to end up like Greece, broke and exhausted from all that anal sex."

"I voted for Brexit because I want us to concentrate on watching out for the Soviets."

"The EU wouldn't recognize my marriage to my horse.  That's why I voted to leave."

"Fuck that guy."