You creepy incest sex abuse covering Christians make us atheists look good yet again! Well done you!
Friday, May 22, 2015
Thursday, May 21, 2015
I haven't watched much in the past few years, especially since we cut cable and went to streaming, but I'll miss him just the same. He was always there for me in college, when I worked second shift in jobs after college, when he made the jump to CBS and the move to 11:30 PM. I have fond memories of Late Night on NBC, the comedy they did on that show was so fresh and innovative for it's day, it blew my pot addled mind back then. I hope I'll always remember things like him dropping stuff off buildings, sparring with Jane Pauley, Terri Garr, Brother Theodore, the uncomfortable Larry Bud Melman stuff, his mom, Mujibur and Sirajul, Biff Henderson, when he came back from his heart surgery, the Andy Kaufmann craziness, all the times Bill Murray livened things up. Dave's show was there for me during my lean years when I didn't have much, during the days when I worked for that awful truck tire company, when I met Sparky, when I lived in Knoxville, and when I came back to Johnson City.
He's been a constant, a teacher, a friend, and a huge influence. I've been a fan of his since the 1970's. I'll miss him like crazy. Hopefully I'll hit the Powerball or Mega Millions jackpot and I can buy a place in St. Bart's and maybe we can run into one another and he'll let me buy him a beer.
So long pal, I'll miss the holy hell out of you.
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
The girls, who look like they've never met a sandwich they could finish, quickly strip off and into their skimpy bikinis so they can go for a dip in the lake. After you finish counting their ribs, you'll see them swim out to the beaver dam and nearly get into an altercation with a bear. They blithely ignore the nuclear green glowing waste on the beaver dam so they can instead focus on the bear which is quite a ways from them. Just in time a hunter, wearing jeans, a shirt, and a work jacket in the blistering summer heat shoots his gun to scare away the bear and then he scolds the girls for not wearing more clothes, but not before he leers at them, especially the one covering her bare breasts with her hands.
Properly chastened the girls head back for what seems like a Sapphic evening alone but then just when you think the two skinniest ones are going to make out, their loutish boyfriends show up. Thankfully after some of the college kids have the least sexy sex ever the killer beavers finally show up to do what killer beavers do best, cause mayhem, death, and destruction.
I'd go further into the plot of this movie but you've seen it before, we all have. And although it's been done better in other films, and yes, this one is as bad as you'd expect it to be, it's not actually that terrible. It never takes itself too seriously and it's full of the tropes we all expect but still scare us and make it a fun horror movie.
The supporting actors pull this film out of the pit of horribleness. The hunter character is pretty funny and the neighbors are pretty funny, but if you're looking for good acting from the cast of college kids, forget it. They're all pretty terrible, especially the skinny blonde gal and the super skinny brunette gal with the glasses. The other female lead who gets her boobs out isn't bad but her accent wavers more than flag on a ninety mile an hour wind. But the best performances are tuned in by Bill Burr and John Mayer who play the louts in the truck. Their banter is pretty laugh out loud funny.
If you like cheesy horror movies where you know what's going to happen next, then this kind of funny not too terrible movie is right up your alley. Don't expect trenchant socially relevant film making here, it's brainless, mindless horror fluff.
Posted by Dr. Monkey Hussein Monkerstein at 12:48 AM
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Monday, May 18, 2015
Saturday, May 16, 2015
Friday, May 15, 2015
And yes, this picture in this post has nothing to do with the above sentence.
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
A little girl on Facebook shrieked to me that I was 'part of the problem' when I didn't condemn the NFL for suspending Tom Brady for four games for cheating and Ray Rice only two games for abusively hitting his wife. Because I tried to explain to her that battered wives don't affect the outcome of games that have millions of dollars in bets riding on them, she said I was 'part of the problem' because I refused to say that the NFL doesn't care about battered women but it does care about improperly inflated balls.
The NFL doesn't care about battered women. It doesn't care about substance abuse by it's players or the concussion problems suffered by it's players. In fact, it really doesn't give a shit about it's players. The NFL cares about one thing and one thing only, and that's cash. They care about the revenue that flows in from advertisers, cities that host their games, TV networks, and the millions of dollars that's bet on it's games. They care about raking in money. They're a for profit business. They're not a charity or a non profit out to help battered women, drug addicts, cripples, or dogs.
If one team is getting an unfair advantage by cheating then that might scare bettors away. If bettors are scared away then that means the NFL might lose money. And they are in business to make money not to lose it so that's why they take cheating more seriously than they do battered women. It's economics, not community outreach. And if that pisses off some people, then that's no skin off the nose of the NFL, they know people will still watch and bet and buy the beer that's advertised and the jerseys and the hats as long as the game doesn't look rigged.
Monday, May 11, 2015
- Glenn Beck says that because white people voted for her husband, Michelle Obama isn't allowed to talk about how racism has affected her. Makes about as much sense as the other drivel that pops out of his dumb mouth.
- A woman in New Zealand who got lost in the woods for 24 hours survived by drinking the two liters of water she had carried with her, by eating a energy bar she had with her, and by drinking her breast milk. What a heroic thing to do after being lost for 24 hours. I wonder how long it would take her to resort to cannibalism if she got lost with another human being, two, three, four days?
- George Zimmerman finally pulled his gun on someone who was also packing heat and he got shot at for waving his gun at them. God damn it guy who pulled his gun on Zimmerman, you need to work on your aim since your bullet hit Zimmy's windshield and nothing else.
- Gomer Huckabee sas all his commercial endorsements are above reproach.
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Friday, May 8, 2015
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
The people who want to inflame Muslim extremists by drawing pictures of Mohammed so they can squeal with anger when those same extremists shoot or kill those who insult their religion, are usually the same people who insist that others must treat whatever religion they follow with respect. You have to respect their religion while they get to shit on other people's religion so they can point and say that all Muslims are violent.