Friday, October 24, 2014

Welcome to the rumor mill


Also, because it was ugly and shit everywhere all the time.  And because Obama made me!

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Marriage equality aftermath in North Carolina

Hello, I'm Basil Boddy, concerned citizen and dog owner.  I'm here to tell you all about how gay marriage has affected people here in the tar heel state.

The day gay marriage became legal here Presbyterian minister Levon Graham married a cabbage and then he ate it.  He's now in prison for killing and eating his spouse. 

Women are 33 percent more sassier than they were before the gay could get married.  They know they don't have to be nice to men now that they can get married to their girlfriends.  And it's now a hate crime to remind them that they can only have babies with men.

Children are performing marriage ceremonies for their dolls.  And they're refusing to be spanked.  

We've had an influx of people wearing puffy vests and hairy boots who drive Land Rovers and want to eat in fine dining restaurants in to our state.  

Cats and other animals are now demanding that they be given nicer places to take a dump and to fornicate with each other.  

Straight couples are refusing to get married now because marriage is too gay for them.  They're choosing to live in sin and in places like South Carolina.

Asian prostitutes are more uppity and I hear they're charging top dollar for anal sex. 

 So, as you can see it's been fucking great!  Why did we ever wait so long to do all this stuff?  North Carolina has never been this much fun!  

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

My top twenty TV comedies of all time

In no particular order:

  1. Pulling
  2. The Librarians
  3. Nighty Night
  4. The Alan Partridge trilogy
  5. Snuff Box
  6. Hunderby
  7. Louie
  8. The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret
  9. Little Britain
  10. Father Ted
  11. Kath & Kim (Australian version)
  12. A Moody Christmas
  13. Dr. Terrible's House of Horrible
  14. The Mighty Boosh
  15. Free Agents (British version)
  16. Gavin and Stacey
  17. Laid 
  18. Seinfeld
  19. All in the Family
  20. Monty Python's Flying Circus
I know, I cheated a bit on number 4, lumping three series in one, but they are all linked by the main character.

Two prime examples of why I hate DC Comics

If you're going to try to explain the science of cloning, at least get your facts right.  DC didn't give enough of a damn to get their's right in this shitty story from an early 1970's copy of Superman.

And from that same story, they perpetuate the myth that gorillas attack humans.

DC Comics, not fun, always dumb.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Film reports

Interesting film about the world of back up singers.  Some are content to sing back up, some got screwed over and were forced to keep singing back up, and some tried to bust out and sing lead but it didn't happen for them.  All the stories are interesting and well worth your time.


Cute but super predictable film about four people who meet when they all decide to commit suicide by jumping off a tall building.  Imogen Poots, who is supposed to be the young blond 'it girl' from Britain today is highly annoying in this film.  The other leads, meh.  It's okay, nothing special.

Lavish retelling of the life of the Duchess of Devonshire.  Her husband was unfaithful and shitty towards her, mostly until she bore him a son, but even afterwards he was a shit to her.  He bedded her best friend and she moved in with them and into his bedroom.  But when she had a public affair like him, he went ballistic and threatened to take away her children.  I quite liked this film, usually I root against all the nobles in films like this one, but Keira Knightly won me over.  This is her best role since Bend it like Beckham.
I liked most all of this gritty true crime film about a the murder of a cop and the survivors guilt of his partner.  James Woods is charismatic as anything as the creepy small time hood who murders a cop and goes on to become a jailhouse lawyer of renown.  John Savage is outstanding as the partner of the murdered cop who is forced to deal with PTSD and survivors guilt.  In real life his character was used as an example of what not to do when a cop gets taken as a hostage.  My only problem with this film was the dialogue of some of the black actors, most all of whom turn in fine performances, it was a load of that 'Yas suh, no suh, you is da boss massah' style dialogue.  If it was written that way, then shame on the author Joseph Wambuagh, if it was an acting choice made by the actors, then shame on them.  All in all though, this is a good film that I should have seen a long time ago.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Seen around town




Sunday, October 19, 2014

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Don't be frightened

Comic book fanboys are going out of their minds over the news that sexy little Jena Malone might be playing Robin in the new Batman film.
They're afraid they might be secretly gay if they're attracted to one of their comic book heroes.  They might have to admit that they love the idea of Batman parking his Batmobile in their tight caves.

Me, I'm all for Jena being in any and all DC comic book adaptions. If she's in it, then at least there's one thing to look forward to in an otherwise deadly dull film.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Foxy Friday






Thursday, October 16, 2014

Republican fairy tales

The tale of the man who would not work:
"Why do you not work and contribute to our country that is most exceptional?"

"Sir, I do not work because I am reliant on the handouts I get from big government.  Now leave me alone and go make your millions of dollars so that big government can tax you to pay for my bone idleness."


 The tale of what happens after marriage equality: 

"Come you old crone, give me that pussy cat so that I may marry it and fornicate upon it."

"No you cruel varlet, my cat is my pet, I shall keep it."

"You old bitch, you just committed a hate crime!  I'm calling the Department of Justice on you!"


 The tale of how Ebola is spread: 
 "I, President Obama's real Kenyan father, cooked up Ebola in a lab in Africa in order to bring down the country Jesus freedom loving people the world over love.  I must now go to Mexico and give vials of this dread disease to my army of gay Muslim Mexican fascist Communist atheist Catholics so that they may enter the USA illegally and put this noxious poison in candy, sports drinks, and hamburgers across the land!"

 The tale of the return of the fairness doctrine: 
'Twas a dark day indeed when President for Life Hillary Obama Biden FDR Martin Luther King Jr McClinton brought back the fairness doctrine in all media.  With one stroke of her cloven hoofed claw, she silenced Rush, Glenn, Dr. Laura, and all right wing hate talk radio and TV.  She replaced it with Hopi Indian chants, whale songs, the music of Jackson Browne, and the speeches of Rachel Maddow. Now the people have no one to tell them how bad socialism, race mixing, and homosexual sex is.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Quick review

I found Amnesia to be a twist filled highly entertaining police procedural. It tells the story of a British detective who's wife goes missing.  In addition to looking for her he discovers that an amnesia victim may be murdering a series of women.  John Hannah is good as the over wrought lead and sexy Jemma Redgrave is very good as the female lead.  It's well worth a couple hours of your time.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Stunning







The post war European buildings are beautiful, so beautiful.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Helpful first aid tips

To make your toddler's boner go down, tap him on the back gently while singing Methodist hymns.

Use plenty of tongue when giving mouth to mouth in West Virginia, it's the polite thing to do.

If someone is choking on a food you like, try to suck that food out of their mouth.

Wash your eyes out after reading this stupid post.  No, seriously, go wash them.  And get some therapy too.  

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Not a selling point

Vintage ads like this make me laugh.  I take it for granted that a hotel or motel room I rent is going to be clean. If it's not, I'm not going stay there.  If one of your selling points is that your hotel/motel is clean, then I'm automatically suspect and I'm probably not going to stay there.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

The shape of things

I'm pretty fond of ovals myself.