Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Hey, what's wrong?

"I'm mad that someone pixelated the good parts of those nude Jennifer Lawrence photos that got leaked online.  But dang, she's got an Oscar winning butt, doesn't she?"

 "I'm mad Mexicans are taking all the lucrative produce picking, dish washing, and landscaping jobs from hard working Americans.  I'm also mad that Obama loves them illegal immigrants so much that he's forcing schools in the USA to teach Spanish!"

 "The general malaise of life has got me down.  Perhaps a drug or a sex addiction will help me crawl out of my depression."

 "What's wrong?  Really?  I'm in a fucking iron lung and you're asking me what's wrong.  How about fuck off.  That's what's wrong."

 "Billy's breath smells like something dead ate a horseshit pie that skunks have jizzed all over and my wife has been abducted by aliens, that's what's wrong.  Oh, and we're the only color illustration in this post."

"We have to live in a world where instead of teaching men not to rape, people blame us for dressing like sluts and drinking too much if we get raped."  

Monday, September 1, 2014

What I'm watching (HuluPLUS edition)

We got back from vacation to find that HuluPLUS had added a shit ton of new British comedies and dramas.  So we've been immersed in shows from across the pond for the past couple of weeks.

I bought the first two series of Lead Balloon on Amazon Instant but I don't have to buy the last two because they're now streaming on HuluPLUS.  This comedy is written by Jack Dee who also stars in it.  He plays Rick Spleen, a fading stand up comic who clings to any piece of showbiz that will  have him.  In addition to trying like hell to keep his career alive he has to put up with his smart ass writing partner, his successful agent girlfriend/life partner, his slacker teenage daughter and her even more slackery boyfriend, his morose odd eastern European maid, and the guy who runs the cafe down the road from his house.  Spleen is a put upon guy who takes any kind of credit he can while trying to shift the blame for any failures he generates, in short, he's the perfect sitcom subject.  These four series are near perfect, the fact they're only six episodes each is huge plus, if there had been more this show would have worn out it's welcome.  I highly recommend this one.  

 Stella is a comedy drama about a working mother in Wales.  She's got a three kids by two different guys, suitors, a pretty odd extended family, and a tiny town full of oddballs to put up with.  Ruth Jones plays Stella and she does a hell of a job of it.  I've probably written it here before but here goes again, Jones is exactly the type of actress who would never ever be allowed to anchor a show like this if this one were made in the USA, she's too overweight to suit most all American producers, but she's a knockout.  All involved with this deserve a round of applause.  It has it's melodramatic moments but it has it's laugh out loud funny moments too.  It's kind of like life in that regard.  The first three series of this show is now streaming on HuluPLUS.  Series four will be shown on British TV in 2015, so it will be awhile before it hits here.

Julia Davis is a comedy genius.  She was the brains behind the incredibly demented twistedly funny Nighty Night.  This series is a twisted retelling of Daphne du Maurier's Rebecca.  We're only two episodes in and already I can see this one is a keeper.  I will warn you, this one is grown up funny, it's not a punch to the crotch SNL catch phrase funny.  You have to have a good amount of education to appreciate the humor in this show. I can't recommend this one highly enough.

And now, because I can, I'm going to end this post with a photo of one of my pretend British comedy girlfriends, the lovely Raquel Cassidy.  

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Dat ass, it's cute

No political comment left on this post will never ever see the light of day.  Not every fucking thing is about politics.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Here you go ladies...

You're welcome.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

The blame game

I don't blame that 9 year old girl who shot and killed her shooting instructor.  She's only 9 years old, accidents like that are to be expected when you force a little kid to learn to shoot an Uzi.  No, I don't blame the kid who will now suffer the rest of her life with PTSD and guilt over murdering another human being at such a young age.

I blame her fucking stupid shit stain parents who forced their 9 year old kid to learn to shoot an automatic weapon.  Those fuckers need to be tried and convicted of manslaughter at the very least, or if this was a perfect world, murder in the first degree.   Even if they aren't convicted of any crime, they need to lose all parental rights to their child.  Monsters like them have no right to fuck up children like they've fucked up their 9 year old daughter.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

It's time for another episode of 'My Dad's a Raccoon'!

I always loved my dad and after he pissed off those sorcerers and witches by evicting them from the broom closet at nuclear power plant and they turned him into a raccoon, I love him even more!

Since he can't work anymore, he's always home when I get off the bus.

"Hi dad!"
"Chee chee, chee, chee."
I never know what he's saying but I'm pretty sure he's telling me he loves me.

Dad's a scamp at dinner time.  He's always bugging me to let him on the table so he can eat and then pee and poop all over our supper!  I usually give him some liquor and before he gets shitfaced and passes out, he's pretty entertaining, especially when he tries to hump our cat Mr. Binky.

 He loves 'helping' mom with the bills.  He chatters up a storm when he sees how much she spends on dresses, ribbons, bows, and prescription pills every month, but what can he do?  Mom's hooking pays the bills now and if she needs pain pills to deaden the pain in her soul, then more power to her.  And seriously, she has to look nice for her 'clients.'

Yeah, things are different now that dad's a raccoon, but they're pretty okay.  I just wish he hadn't given us all a case of raccoon roundworm because that shit is about to kill me.  Literally.

Monday, August 25, 2014

How to tell if you're a horrible person

If you object to this print on the grounds that it doesn't show 'the white' side of the Ferguson situation, then you're a horrible person.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Idiots abound

They should take away his medical degree for saying it was a god who saved his life.  IT WAS SCIENCE THAT SAVED YOUR FUCKING LIFE YOU MORON.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Interspecies romance

Friday, August 22, 2014

Belgian of the week

Hande Kodja.

Movie reports

This is another one of those gruesome thrillers where the main protagonist is promised unheard of wealth is he hurts others and commits unspeakable acts.  It's kind of suspenseful but mostly it's gratuitous violence.  It's worth watching if you like these kind of films.  This one is on Netflix instant. 

 This film is a dramatic look back at  how they made the first Doctor Who's with William Hartnell.  It's an affectionate portrayal of all involved.  I liked it a lot, but then again I'm predisposed to like most anything the super fine Jessica Raine is in.  This one is on HuluPLUS.

This is an interesting little thriller featuring a bunch of hard bodied young people who love to show off those hard bodies.  It's about a young French woman who returns to her home only to run into an old flame she wants to rekindle things with.  Into that situation comes a hot young female American exchange student who gets between them.  Then the weirdness gets turned up a notch when the French girl's brother returns home with some shocking news.  It's a well crafted sexy little thriller.  I highly recommend it.  This one is on Netflix instant.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Conservative logic in a nutshell

If you're white and you protest what the government is doing, then you're a patriot. If you're black and you protest what the government is doing, then you're a loser and an animal.

If you're white and you can't see that the people in Ferguson, MO who are protesting have legitimate concerns and problems with the police and with the white capitalist economic system the cops are charged with protecting, then you're part of the problem.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

You're pronouncing it wrong

Hyacinth says it's the ice 'boo-quet' challenge.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

It's time for 'Breakfast with the Whites'!

Today the Whites talk about blacks and Ferguson MO.

"I just can't see why those negroes are protesting so much over there in Ferguson.  Sure, a kid got gunned down by the cops, but that's to be expected in black neighborhoods.  It's kind of like their version of 'survival of the fittest,' those people who are fast and wily enough to escape the cop led slaughter, they get to pass their genes on.  That's just science right there."

 "Those people need to register to vote instead of looting and smoking pot.  They need a chance to vote for the white conservative Republican of their choice in the next election.  I'm sure which ever one they elect, he'll do what he thinks Jesus would do to them."

 "We had a negro in our house once.  As you can see, I'm still spraying away his germs."

"I've got to finish my breakfast and grow up to be big and strong and maybe bag a dusky skinned negress with large breasts and a big ol' booty.  I'm only nine, but I'm already infected with jungle fever, if you know what I mean.  I'll tell people I'm mating the black women because I feel sorry about how my ancestors treated them during the time slavery was legal."  

Monday, August 18, 2014

Female trouble

"So that's where Jesus wants our husbands to put it?  I'll bet it hurts a lot less if it goes in there, so yeah, that makes sense."

Sunday, August 17, 2014

The most wonderful time of the year

Vacation time was upon us last week and we were in no mood to drive to the beach this year.  Last year's trip to the beach kind of burnt us out on going again so soon, so we decided to go some place different.  After a scant ten minute search on the interwebs, we decided to go to a state park in eastern Kentucky that offered hiking, swimming, and relaxation.

Pineville, KY, where crushed dreams go to die.

We set off for Natural Bridge State Resort Park in Slade, KY on Monday morning.  We took a leisurely drive up through Lee County VA and through southeastern Kentucky, the route we used to go when I was a kid when we'd go back and forth between Michigan and Jonesville.  After stopping in Pineville to look around and quickly getting back in the car and driving as fast as the speed limit allowed through to Corbin where we caught interstate 75 North, I can safely say that not much has changed in that SE KY/SW VA area since the mid 1970's.  Wait, that's wrong, the roads are a little better.

We got to the Berea area around 2:30 that day and we looked around and stopped in a few shops.
A hand of hands in Berea.

After finding out that Berea is a dry town, no alcohol served or sold, we sped up the interstate to Richmond to stay the night.  Our first stop there was a store called 'Liquor World.'  We stayed over night in Richmond because our reservations for the cabin in the park didn't take effect until Tuesday.  We stayed in Holiday Inn Express, which I highly recommend by the way.
Refurbished Richmond after the rain.

My first order of business in the hotel room was to claim the shower cap.  Boo ya.

On Tuesday morning we drove some of the back roads to get to the park and we got there a little after noon.  We checked in, ate lunch at the Hemlock Lodge, and then we went back out to get some groceries.  We got back to the cabin and took it easy the rest of the day and night.  

Wednesday we had planned to spend the day in the park hiking and swimming in the pool but the weather wasn't cooperative. We did manage to hike one of the trails and on it we saw huge rocks, tons of trees, and more huge rocks.  The weather was wet and damp so we decided to get in the car and take a trip to Morehead to see the Folk Art Center.  
 This photo does not do this rock justice, it's fucking huge.

 After taking a rather circuitous route to Morehead, we finally arrived and found our destination.  And let me tell you, the trip was well worth it.  The folks who run the Folk Art Center, which is free by the way, could not be nicer and they are very respectful to the artists who's work they show.  The place is full of brilliant art by self taught artists.
 In the upstairs gallery they had an exhibition of handmade chairs by the late craftsman Chester Cornett.  That snake chair he made is incredible to see up close.  The detail is incredible.  They had twenty to thirty of all kinds of his chairs in the exhibition.  He was well and truly an artist.

 Sparky stalks me.

We had reservations for the cabin for three nights but we decided to see if they'd let us out of staying Thursday night because we wanted to go to Lexington to stay the night and because the park is in such a remote area in relation to other things we wanted to see and do. They let us out so Thursday morning we checked out and off we went to the home of the University of Kentucky.  

Neither of us had ever been there before so we parked downtown and took in the sights.  Downtown is nice and it's pedestrian friendly but there's not many shops or things other than restaurants and offices down there.  But we hiked around, had lunch, and then went off to explore more of the city.

I love this mural in downtown Lexington. 

We drove out to the UK campus to check out the university art museum.  We were pleasantly surprised by the scope and scale of the collection the university possesses.  We saw everything from abstract expressionist work, to prints made in the WPA years, to massive oil paintings made by old European masters, to work made by those in the art brut school of art, to modern sculpture and craft.  I highly recommend you stop in to see their collection if you're in town.

 This public art crow sculpture outside the museum cracked me up because we'd been seeing huge crows all week long in KY.

After trudging around for a few more hours in Lexington, we decided to spend the night back in Richmond at the same hotel where we stayed on Monday and we decided that we'd go back to Berea to take in more of the art and craft scene on Friday morning before we headed home.

Berea is a regular four year college but with one special twist, it's tuition free for students from the Appalachian region.  In exchange for getting a virtually free education, all it's students must work around 20 hours a week at the college.  Some wait tables in college owned restaurants, some work in college owned shops that teach them traditional crafts like woodworking, weaving and other fiber related arts, broom making, printing and print making, traditional music making and recording, pottery, and more.  It's a really neat place and it's been doing business like that since it opened it's doors over a hundred years ago.  Everyone we met, from staff to students to professors, was super nice and helpful.  We got the feeling they'd bend over backwards to help out if need be.  I probably would have gone to college at Berea if my asshole cousin hadn't gone there, I wasn't about to follow him anywhere.
 A woodworking shop on campus.

 A print made by a student. 

We hung out, looked around, bought some crafted items, and then we left for home.  

We stopped in Knoxville for lunch around 1:30 PM and then drove the rest of the way home.

On this vacation I discovered that I don't need to be in or near the water all the time on a vacation and that it's a pretty easy drive from Lexington to our house, provided there no major construction going on on the interstates.  It took us about three and a half hours of driving time to get from Lexington to Johnson City, so in the future, I see another trip to that area and one that will go further afield to Louisville as well.