Fear not America, I am still here

Many things going on preventing me from blogging regularly like I used to.  I'll try to do better.  I promise.

Too soon?

Nope

Spock can't see anything anymore, he's dead.

Current Nordic literary crush

Norwegian crime writer Karin Fossum.

Massive movie report

I've been snowed in on and off for over a week now.  I watch a lot of movies that way.  Here's my report on five I've seen recently.

An Australian woman wants to make an effective propaganda film opposing the coal seam gas mining in her local neighborhood so she decides to get tips on how to make a really effective one from the masters of propaganda films, the North Koreans.  She writes her script, assembles her cast, and then she flies off to the DPRK to get assistance from some of the late Kim Jong Il's favorite film makers and actors.  It's all very cute, endearing, and somewhat serious.  In the end she achieves her goal and along the way she makes lots of new friends.  I highly recommend this one, it's on Netflix.

Very disturbing film about a buttoned down put upon shy man who toils away at a horrible job until one day he runs into his doppelganger.  Things go downhill for him from there.

The IT Crowd alum Richard Ayoade adapted and directed this film and he used a lot of the cast from his first film Submarine and from his days on the aforementioned Brit-com.  It's a spectacularly good film and I'm a huge fan of anything he directs.

 I loved this film when I first saw it at the age of 8 or 9, but on recent viewing again at age 52, it doesn't hold up well at all.  The story is full of holes, the songs detract from most of the story, and why the fuck does no one notice that Dick Van Dyke is the only character with an American accent?

Visually, it's very pretty and so is the bewitching Sally Ann Howes but on the whole, it just doesn't work at all.

Speaking of not working, this loud joyless, humorless, pointless reboot of Robocop just plain stinks.  I barely made it through it.  I'm guessing all involved needed a paycheck.

This is a really terrific little claustrophobic thriller from New Zealand. A young woman gets caught trying to ripoff an ATM to feed her drug habit but instead of sending her to treatment yet again, they send her to her mother's home where she's going to be under house arrest for 8 months.  Pretty quickly into her home incarceration weird things start to happen and she and her paranormal obsessed parole officer try to sort everything out.  There's plenty of twists and turns and a many a shocking surprise thrown in to keep you on your toes and the whole thing is laced with a good bit of subtle humor.  I loved it all, especially the last 40 minutes.  I super highly recommend this one.

Hey Southern Baptists, what are you doing to stop the gay agenda?

"Going to gloryholes to preach the Gospel, that's all, just preach the Gospel."

"Loudly praying away the gay behavior we constantly see."

"We attend only Christian swinger parties that promise no gay stuff."

"I'm developing a vaccine for the gay."

"Giving lots of mind bending oral sex that keep us from straying."

"We're dressing up in silly costumes and smiting anyone who isn't exactly like us."

"Non stop reading of the Bible to shut ins, heathens, and Methodists."

Oscar round up

I haven't seen the Academy Awards yet, I'll probably watch them later on Hulu, but here are my initial thoughts:

• I'm glad Clint Eastwood's gun porn movie didn't win any major awards.
• I'm not shocked they left Joan Rivers out of the dead celebs montage, after all she made fun of the people who attended for years and years.
• Good on ya Patricia Arquette, John Legend, and Graham Moore.
• It's not the USA citizens only awards Donald Trump, so fuck you and your racism.
• Seriously?  John Travolta?  Really?  How can anyone be around him and not be creeped out? 
• I may have seen only one Oscar nominated film this year.

Please welcome a new sponsor

They run a clean family oriented non fancy establishment.  

Let's play a game

Leave your guess as to what these gals are in the comments and if you're right you might win a prize.

Hubba hubba

I could stare at her portrait all day long and never get sick of it.

Whiny Republican asshole of the month

That's Pete Kinder.  He gets paid $86,000 a year for being Lt. Governor of Missouri.  He says he's 'impoverished' and he wants the state to pay him more money.  But wait, here's the best part: he's a small government fiscally conservative Republican.

That's right.  He doesn't want government to waste money on things like feeding the poor or making sure that schools are fully funded or fixing buildings, bridges, and roads.  But he does want the government to pay him more money so he can stop others from getting money.

Fuck him.  The job of government isn't to enrich assholes like this.  It doesn't exist so he can line his pockets.  I get by on a fifth of what this whiny piece of shit asshole makes.  So, yeah, fuck him.  Fuck him with a chainsaw.

Massive movie report round up

Decent little indy film about a woman who tracks down the guy who got her pregnant after a one night stand.  He's going through some shit in his life and when it's revealed he's the faher of the young boy, things get worse for him and others.

I quite liked this character study and as usual Anna Friel and Romola Garai are stunningly beautiful.

Very cute romantic comedy about two quirky people who find love through an injured duck.  Rhys Darby is charmingly normal and Sally Hawkins if awfully cute.  

Surprisingly good good film about the goings on in a creepy insane asylum.  Nobody is who they seem to be and things go weirder from there.  This film is taut and full of surprises, right up until the end.  Also, Kate Beckinsale, is a really really really beautiful woman.

Very likable yet moody film about the tumult surrounding Marilyn Monroe's time shooting a film with Laurence Olivier in the late 1950's.  Michelle Williams turns in a sexy drowsy great performance as Monroe.  Kenneth Branagh however is wildly miscast and he and his crazy German accent are a huge distraction.

Meh.  Another 'child genius' brings people together film.  It's okay but it's a lot like Little Man Tate.

Very good revisionist style western that helped make Robert Altman famous.  One of Paul Newman's finest performances.

It's too cold to blog, so I'll just post these photos of Helen Mirren

And here's a special report from the Southern Baptist Men's Committee on Homosexuality in the Boy Scouts of America

A while back we stopped the Boy Scouts from using our churches as a meeting place because they had recently become more accepting of the gay homosex and those who practice it's deviant lifestyle.  Many of you complained that we were being intolerant and reactionary.  So we decided to investigate what's become of the once great non gay God fearing America loving Boy Scouts since we parted ways with them.  Here is a partial list of our findings:

Most all Scout troops now force impressionable young men to play leap frog in the hopes of getting them sexually stimulated by letting their genitals graze each other as they leap over and get leaped over.  Many troops also insist that Scouts now spend most of their time doing squat thrust crotch related exercises in the hopes of building up the size of young penises.

The BSA now mandates that Scouts sleep in this position in case another Scout wishes to engage in anal intercourse with them.  If you refuse the anal intrusion, you are blackballed and then drummed out of the Scouts.

Scouts, especially the ones in New York city and San Francisco, must model their young chiseled bodies for leering gay homosex crazed officials and other Scouts who may be ready to try the gay lifestyle.

'Sensitive' Scouts are now encouraged to do things like make art, share feelings and emotions, and to dress like women.  Non gay manly activities such as shooting, tinkering with motors of all sorts, and fondling animals are now discouraged if not banned all together. 

All sorts of gay homosex touching and wrestling is now a big part of troop meetings.  

Music and songs celebrating the deviant side of life are mandatory.  And the rapping music is encouraged and lauded above all other forms of music.  Christian music is laughed at and spat upon.

Merit badges in ogling, leering, and catcalling gay homosex remarks are now awarded.  Also American flags are cut up into little squares and used for toilet paper.  

And perhaps most troubling of all, smoking of the reefers is encouraged because it makes the gay homosex orgasm more intense and because it makes blasphemy more fun.

So as you can see, everything that we thought was going to happen has happened.  And this proves once again that we Baptists are always right.  So, please join with us while you can before it too late.  Once Jesus comes back, you can't be all up in him unless you're saved and on the Baptist path to salvation. 

What I'm watching

I'm currently watching the following TV shows:

• Peep Show-Very funny Mitchell/Webb show from the mid 2000's.  They play flatmates who can't stay out of each others lives.  It also features a cornucopia of recent British comic talent and many hot British and Canadian babes.
• Magic City-Very cool, very stylish show about shady characters in late 1950's/early 1960's Miami.  I started watching mainly to see Jessica Marais who was on Packed to the Rafters, and now I'm hooked.
• Spartacus-I had seen the first two series of this show and I binge watched them again because I wanted to immerse myself in the show before I started the third series.  It's still violent, bloody, filled with nudity, brimming with intrigue, and still very good.  
• Downton Abbey-Watching the current series and still very much liking it.  Sparky is a bit tired of it, but I'm still all in on it.
• Being Human (USA)-I wasn't prepared to like this US version of the British show about a vampire, a werewolf, and a ghost who live together but I do.  I like it much more than the British version.  The characters are more interesting and more fleshed out and even though it has more episodes, it moves at a brisker pace. 
• Great British Bake Off-This is my favorite new 'reality' show.  They stuck a bunch of British baking aficionados in a tent and they make them bake stuff.  I love seeing the shit they bake and how the judges react.  It always leaves me hungry but I watch anyway.  And I love these three gals on the show:

Nancy, the ever chipper naughty granny who seems up for anything.

Chetna, mistress of spices and flavors who has stolen my heart and stomach.  Also, I love how she rocks the silver hair.

Martha, the super cute young lass who needs to be taught a lusty lesson in the kitchen. 

The bone zone

Timmy's first nocturnal emission was a success.

Condescension at it's finest

I found this book kid's book at a thrift store a while back.  It's about mid century Christian missionaries who take their kids to New Guinea.  It was in a school library and it had been checked out once in it's 30 some year life there, perhaps because no one cared about the life of these Christian busy bodies, or because it spooked the kids who picked it up and saw that the author dedicated to all boys and girls who love Jesus Christ.

Just look how grateful that brown skinned pagan kid is to be used as a prop. I bet they were so grateful they accepted Jesus just to get shed of the annoying do gooders.

The Christians brought their car to New Guinea so they could show how civilized they were.  Praise Gawd!

The guy on the right is thinking, "She's a bit young to make a wife, maybe we ought to cook her up instead."

Seriously, on behalf of all white westerners, I apologize for the shit missionaries said and did.  It was and is still all lies, please indigenous people everywhere, go back to being the awesome people you were before Christians came and fucked with your country.

Happy Darwin Day!

I hope you've evolved enough to celebrate Charles Darwin's birthday.

There's no cure like travel

Mid century travel ads.