Friday, August 29, 2014

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Here you go ladies...

You're welcome.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

The blame game

I don't blame that 9 year old girl who shot and killed her shooting instructor.  She's only 9 years old, accidents like that are to be expected when you force a little kid to learn to shoot an Uzi.  No, I don't blame the kid who will now suffer the rest of her life with PTSD and guilt over murdering another human being at such a young age.

I blame her fucking stupid shit stain parents who forced their 9 year old kid to learn to shoot an automatic weapon.  Those fuckers need to be tried and convicted of manslaughter at the very least, or if this was a perfect world, murder in the first degree.   Even if they aren't convicted of any crime, they need to lose all parental rights to their child.  Monsters like them have no right to fuck up children like they've fucked up their 9 year old daughter.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

It's time for another episode of 'My Dad's a Raccoon'!

I always loved my dad and after he pissed off those sorcerers and witches by evicting them from the broom closet at nuclear power plant and they turned him into a raccoon, I love him even more!

Since he can't work anymore, he's always home when I get off the bus.

"Hi dad!"
"Chee chee, chee, chee."
I never know what he's saying but I'm pretty sure he's telling me he loves me.

Dad's a scamp at dinner time.  He's always bugging me to let him on the table so he can eat and then pee and poop all over our supper!  I usually give him some liquor and before he gets shitfaced and passes out, he's pretty entertaining, especially when he tries to hump our cat Mr. Binky.

 He loves 'helping' mom with the bills.  He chatters up a storm when he sees how much she spends on dresses, ribbons, bows, and prescription pills every month, but what can he do?  Mom's hooking pays the bills now and if she needs pain pills to deaden the pain in her soul, then more power to her.  And seriously, she has to look nice for her 'clients.'

Yeah, things are different now that dad's a raccoon, but they're pretty okay.  I just wish he hadn't given us all a case of raccoon roundworm because that shit is about to kill me.  Literally.

Monday, August 25, 2014

How to tell if you're a horrible person

If you object to this print on the grounds that it doesn't show 'the white' side of the Ferguson situation, then you're a horrible person.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Idiots abound

They should take away his medical degree for saying it was a god who saved his life.  IT WAS SCIENCE THAT SAVED YOUR FUCKING LIFE YOU MORON.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Interspecies romance

Friday, August 22, 2014

Belgian of the week

Hande Kodja.

Movie reports

This is another one of those gruesome thrillers where the main protagonist is promised unheard of wealth is he hurts others and commits unspeakable acts.  It's kind of suspenseful but mostly it's gratuitous violence.  It's worth watching if you like these kind of films.  This one is on Netflix instant. 

 This film is a dramatic look back at  how they made the first Doctor Who's with William Hartnell.  It's an affectionate portrayal of all involved.  I liked it a lot, but then again I'm predisposed to like most anything the super fine Jessica Raine is in.  This one is on HuluPLUS.

This is an interesting little thriller featuring a bunch of hard bodied young people who love to show off those hard bodies.  It's about a young French woman who returns to her home only to run into an old flame she wants to rekindle things with.  Into that situation comes a hot young female American exchange student who gets between them.  Then the weirdness gets turned up a notch when the French girl's brother returns home with some shocking news.  It's a well crafted sexy little thriller.  I highly recommend it.  This one is on Netflix instant.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Conservative logic in a nutshell

If you're white and you protest what the government is doing, then you're a patriot. If you're black and you protest what the government is doing, then you're a loser and an animal.

If you're white and you can't see that the people in Ferguson, MO who are protesting have legitimate concerns and problems with the police and with the white capitalist economic system the cops are charged with protecting, then you're part of the problem.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

You're pronouncing it wrong

Hyacinth says it's the ice 'boo-quet' challenge.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

It's time for 'Breakfast with the Whites'!

Today the Whites talk about blacks and Ferguson MO.

"I just can't see why those negroes are protesting so much over there in Ferguson.  Sure, a kid got gunned down by the cops, but that's to be expected in black neighborhoods.  It's kind of like their version of 'survival of the fittest,' those people who are fast and wily enough to escape the cop led slaughter, they get to pass their genes on.  That's just science right there."

 "Those people need to register to vote instead of looting and smoking pot.  They need a chance to vote for the white conservative Republican of their choice in the next election.  I'm sure which ever one they elect, he'll do what he thinks Jesus would do to them."

 "We had a negro in our house once.  As you can see, I'm still spraying away his germs."

"I've got to finish my breakfast and grow up to be big and strong and maybe bag a dusky skinned negress with large breasts and a big ol' booty.  I'm only nine, but I'm already infected with jungle fever, if you know what I mean.  I'll tell people I'm mating the black women because I feel sorry about how my ancestors treated them during the time slavery was legal."  

Monday, August 18, 2014

Female trouble

"So that's where Jesus wants our husbands to put it?  I'll bet it hurts a lot less if it goes in there, so yeah, that makes sense."

Sunday, August 17, 2014

The most wonderful time of the year

Vacation time was upon us last week and we were in no mood to drive to the beach this year.  Last year's trip to the beach kind of burnt us out on going again so soon, so we decided to go some place different.  After a scant ten minute search on the interwebs, we decided to go to a state park in eastern Kentucky that offered hiking, swimming, and relaxation.

Pineville, KY, where crushed dreams go to die.

We set off for Natural Bridge State Resort Park in Slade, KY on Monday morning.  We took a leisurely drive up through Lee County VA and through southeastern Kentucky, the route we used to go when I was a kid when we'd go back and forth between Michigan and Jonesville.  After stopping in Pineville to look around and quickly getting back in the car and driving as fast as the speed limit allowed through to Corbin where we caught interstate 75 North, I can safely say that not much has changed in that SE KY/SW VA area since the mid 1970's.  Wait, that's wrong, the roads are a little better.

We got to the Berea area around 2:30 that day and we looked around and stopped in a few shops.
A hand of hands in Berea.

After finding out that Berea is a dry town, no alcohol served or sold, we sped up the interstate to Richmond to stay the night.  Our first stop there was a store called 'Liquor World.'  We stayed over night in Richmond because our reservations for the cabin in the park didn't take effect until Tuesday.  We stayed in Holiday Inn Express, which I highly recommend by the way.
Refurbished Richmond after the rain.

My first order of business in the hotel room was to claim the shower cap.  Boo ya.

On Tuesday morning we drove some of the back roads to get to the park and we got there a little after noon.  We checked in, ate lunch at the Hemlock Lodge, and then we went back out to get some groceries.  We got back to the cabin and took it easy the rest of the day and night.  

Wednesday we had planned to spend the day in the park hiking and swimming in the pool but the weather wasn't cooperative. We did manage to hike one of the trails and on it we saw huge rocks, tons of trees, and more huge rocks.  The weather was wet and damp so we decided to get in the car and take a trip to Morehead to see the Folk Art Center.  
 This photo does not do this rock justice, it's fucking huge.

 After taking a rather circuitous route to Morehead, we finally arrived and found our destination.  And let me tell you, the trip was well worth it.  The folks who run the Folk Art Center, which is free by the way, could not be nicer and they are very respectful to the artists who's work they show.  The place is full of brilliant art by self taught artists.
 In the upstairs gallery they had an exhibition of handmade chairs by the late craftsman Chester Cornett.  That snake chair he made is incredible to see up close.  The detail is incredible.  They had twenty to thirty of all kinds of his chairs in the exhibition.  He was well and truly an artist.

 Sparky stalks me.

We had reservations for the cabin for three nights but we decided to see if they'd let us out of staying Thursday night because we wanted to go to Lexington to stay the night and because the park is in such a remote area in relation to other things we wanted to see and do. They let us out so Thursday morning we checked out and off we went to the home of the University of Kentucky.  

Neither of us had ever been there before so we parked downtown and took in the sights.  Downtown is nice and it's pedestrian friendly but there's not many shops or things other than restaurants and offices down there.  But we hiked around, had lunch, and then went off to explore more of the city.

I love this mural in downtown Lexington. 

We drove out to the UK campus to check out the university art museum.  We were pleasantly surprised by the scope and scale of the collection the university possesses.  We saw everything from abstract expressionist work, to prints made in the WPA years, to massive oil paintings made by old European masters, to work made by those in the art brut school of art, to modern sculpture and craft.  I highly recommend you stop in to see their collection if you're in town.

 This public art crow sculpture outside the museum cracked me up because we'd been seeing huge crows all week long in KY.

After trudging around for a few more hours in Lexington, we decided to spend the night back in Richmond at the same hotel where we stayed on Monday and we decided that we'd go back to Berea to take in more of the art and craft scene on Friday morning before we headed home.

Berea is a regular four year college but with one special twist, it's tuition free for students from the Appalachian region.  In exchange for getting a virtually free education, all it's students must work around 20 hours a week at the college.  Some wait tables in college owned restaurants, some work in college owned shops that teach them traditional crafts like woodworking, weaving and other fiber related arts, broom making, printing and print making, traditional music making and recording, pottery, and more.  It's a really neat place and it's been doing business like that since it opened it's doors over a hundred years ago.  Everyone we met, from staff to students to professors, was super nice and helpful.  We got the feeling they'd bend over backwards to help out if need be.  I probably would have gone to college at Berea if my asshole cousin hadn't gone there, I wasn't about to follow him anywhere.
 A woodworking shop on campus.

 A print made by a student. 

We hung out, looked around, bought some crafted items, and then we left for home.  

We stopped in Knoxville for lunch around 1:30 PM and then drove the rest of the way home.

On this vacation I discovered that I don't need to be in or near the water all the time on a vacation and that it's a pretty easy drive from Lexington to our house, provided there no major construction going on on the interstates.  It took us about three and a half hours of driving time to get from Lexington to Johnson City, so in the future, I see another trip to that area and one that will go further afield to Louisville as well.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Area police issue statement on Mo'ne Davis

"We police professionals here at the Little League World Series are working hard to keep this national event a safe one for all, the players, the spectators, and everyone else.  So y'all can understand why we were so shocked to hear about a black female throwing hard white objects at children.  We immediately investigated this Negro agitator and we found her to be not a revolutionary hell bent on overthrowing the white capitalist order and nor did we find her to be radical lesbian sent out to recruit children into the gay lifestyle. 

After much investigating we found out that she is actually a player on one of the teams and that she is in fact a pitcher on that team, that's why she's throwing things at white boys.  We pledge to keep on eye on her though, and please know this in advance, if one of our guys shoots her, she brought it on herself.  I'm not saying one of our guys will shoot her, but it's a very real possibility if she's all uppity and sassy."

Friday, August 15, 2014

And we're back

We're home after our mini hastily thrown together vacation in eastern Kentucky.  Pictures and more to follow in the days ahead.

Monday, August 11, 2014

There's gnome place like home

See ya later suckers.  I'll be back online in a few days.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Fear mongering through the decades

 "We need to get you healthy Timmy, you have to be big and strong to fight the Soviet Communist menace that's coming to America."
"Take a nap children and dream of the day when you're grown up and fighting the hordes of Negroes who are bent on raping us and stealing our nice things after they get the right to vote."

 "Take a last look at the home the gays are forcing us out of.  Mommy and daddy won't buckle under and accept their lifestyle, so they took our home and are forcing us to become hobos."

"The illegal aliens are going to block out the sun, unless we kill them all first."

"Muslims are coming to kill us all if we don't covert to their heathen religion."

 "Drink up humans.  We need you hydrated and happy before we begin the nerve stapling and anal probing."

"I for one, welcome our Gay Mexican Muslim Communist Nazi Negro Overlords."  

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Friday, August 8, 2014

Let's visit Nigeria!

While the Ebola outbreak is scaring people away from visiting western Africa, let me take you on a trip to one of western Africa's biggest best countries, Nigeria!

Nigeria is located off the Gulf of Guinea and it shares a border with Cameroon.  It's in a tropical part of the African continent which means it's hotter than hell most of the year 'round and it's full of scary black people.

Many Nigerians love to cool off by swimming in one of the many lakes and rivers that run through their country. They love to cool off this way because it's damn near impossible to install central air in a mud hut.                                                                    

Nigeria is full of people who belong to many different tribes, some even belong to a tribe called Quest.  Many tribes in Nigeria dress in distinctive clothing that they steal from Christian missionaries. 

Women in Nigeria dress more sensibly than the men do.  They often wear nothing more than a bed sheet wrapped around their body and they carry their laundry on their heads where ever they go, they do this to keep people from stealing their dirty clothes, which are prized by Europeans who visit Africa.  

As you can probably tell by the photos Nigeria is still a poor country.  It hasn't been colorized yet and most of the country is still in black in white, although today, the politically correct term is 'greyscale.'  But no matter how poor the country is there is still a vibrant market economy, that's Nigeria's biggest shopping mall pictured above. 

The USA and other western countries have stepped in to help Nigeria move into the 21st century and towards a capitalist economy.  US corporations are busy teaching Nigerians how to plunder their natural resources so they when theirs runs dry, they can invade and take what's left in Cameroon.  

But what about Nigerian children?  Are they being looked after in today's Nigeria?  You bet they are! 

When not in schools run by exasperated missionaries, Nigerian children love playing soccer and games like 'Jump the corpses of those who lost the last coup d'etat attempt.'  Other pastimes include, stowing away on international airline flights, leering at white women, and  breaking in to the homes of oil company executives.

Many Nigerians will tell you they dream of living in a clean, spacious, disease free country one day and to do that they'll have to leave their home land, but others will tell you that their dream is to stay in Nigeria, avoid getting Ebola, and to take over the stately homes of their white oppressors.  Here's hoping that with a bit of sweat, a lot of pluck and a smidgen of luck, they'll succeed!

Thanks for visiting Nigeria!