Oh Cap'n, My Cap'n

I'm sending out a big heapin' helpin' of thanks to my liege and my pirate leader Cap'n Dyke today. She was the only blogger to write about the corporate shenanigans that Bill Moyers also talked about on his show the other night. I'm right there with ya Cap'n, lets keel haul all the greedy bastards that don't die when we blow their ships apart with the big ass cannons aboard your ship. I'm volunteering to jump over on the smoldering wreckage of their corporate greed buckets with a knife in my teeth, round up the rich white pigs, and bring them back aboard your/our ship Cap'n.

If any of you have not heard about the latest outrages committed by corporations against us then let me give you a crash course in what the sneaky fucks have been up to:

Remember when all the airlines went into bankruptcy following 9/11? They said they had to because they lost so much money when they could not fly for those few days and they lost so much business because the public was skittish about flying. Well, not too long after that they sought like hell to get wage and benefit cuts from their employees. The unions caved because they did not want their members to lose their jobs, the bankruptcy courts said, "Sure, cut their pay and benefits if you need to." Well, by gosh and by golly, the airlines did it. They cut pilots, stewardess and stewards pay, as well as the pay and benefits of the mechanics. But who did not take a pay cut during those times? Who actually got richer as a result of those cuts? The CEO's of the airlines. And now that most all of them have come out of bankruptcy, the CEO's are getting huge bonuses and huge amounts of stock, stocks that are soaring in price because the airlines are out of bankruptcy by the way. Some of them are also getting free medical and dental insurance for life even if they leave the company. What about those workers who gave them big wage and benefit concessions? They are getting dick, diddly squat, nada, zip, not a god damned thing. Oh wait, they get to keep their jobs, which are worth way less than they were years ago. Nice deal huh?

The CEO's of Halliburton, Kellog Brown and Root, Blackwater USA, Northrup Grummond, McDonald Douglass, and other corporations love the war of terror on Iraq and Afghanistan. They get no bid contracts and make obscene amounts of money off the killing of innocent people, oh sorry about that Paul Harvey, I know you hate it when people call them innocent people, but fuck you old man, they are innocent people, and off the deaths of our men and women in uniform. Everyday we spend in that disastrous war over there is another day that those pigs make money off us. That's right, us, remember this my fellow Americans, that $100 per load of laundry that we pay Halliburton, the money to buy those trucks they blow up instead of fixing, the money they pay to 5 star hotels to house visiting 'dignitaries' like Joe 'Backstabbin' Lieberman and John 'Walkin' in Baghdad' McCain, all comes from you and me, the taxpayers. We get to pay to make the world less safe, make the rich fucks richer, and to stay in a war that most of this country hates and wants out of. Nice deal huh?

This puss bag of a human being, and we hang our heads in shame when he tells anyone he is from our state, said the other day that if he gets elected President that he will take steps to make this country great again. Guess what his first step is? He says that corporations are hamstrung by high taxes and he wants to make sure they get cut. Holy shit, what kind of bizzaro world is he living in? Fred, listen up, corporations are not paying too much in taxes nor are they paying too many taxes. They DO NOT PAY ENOUGH TAXES. We need to stop coddling the corporations like we coddle, well, corporations. It must be all his years as a corporate lobbyist coming back to him. That's right boys and girls, when he was not the laziest Senator Tennessee ever saw, and when he was not "acting" on TV shows and in movies, he was a CORPORATE LOBBYIST, and he dorked a few blonde chicks with huge boobs when he was not helping companies make even more money at our expense. And he wants to be our next President. Nice deal huh?

Hey America, who was our last President that came from a corporate background? I'm blanking on his name but I remember what he looks like:

Yep. That's him. How's that corporate connection going for ya now America? If I'm not mistaken, then he's just been doing to the country what his buddies in the corporate world have been doing to us all along. And you remember his buddies don't you America? No? Let me remind you of a couple:

Kenny Boy Lay, this prick nearly was our country's Sec. of Energy. Now he's dead and so are the 401k's of almost everybody who worked for him.

White Collar Criminal McCrimestein, this Enron asshole practically had a fucking key to the Lincoln bedroom. Now the only thing key he's got is the one to his chastity belt and his cell mate just might take it from him.

So it's no wonder I'm with the Cap'n. And I'm just waiting to hear the order to overthrow the greedy pigs. Until then Cap'n, I'll keep me powder dry and me blade as sharp as sharp can be. Arrrrgh.