The organizers of the 1904 World's Fair and Olympics in St. Louis had sent out people to search the world over to bring odd and different types of people, and by odd and different what I mean is anyone who was not white, to be exhibited at the Fair. They brought back Pygmies from Africa, a few Patagonians from South America, some Ainu people from Japan, a few Turks, Moro folk from the Philippines, and a smattering of Cocopas Indians from Mexico. Some American Indians, most notably among them was a warrior you may have heard a little something about by the name of Geronimo, were jerked off their reservation and shown along with the other “savages.”
Under the direction of the Department of Physical Culture all the “odd” foreigners were rounded up and forced to compete in some odd and Olympic style sporting events. They competed in these events for the amusement of the white crowds who, no doubt, sat and laughed heartily at the antics of the dirty savages.
On the first day of Anthropology Days the headline in the St. Louis Post Dispatch shrieked, “BARBARIANS TO MEET IN ATHLETIC GAMES.” With a headline like that things could only go down hill from there, and predictably they did.
The Pygmies, it had been decided, were going to amuse the crowds of jeering slack jawed yokels by having a mud fight. They were split into two teams and each team was given, according to the Post Dispatch, “several heaps of nice, soft, clay” with which they were to throw at one another until one team was “put to rout.”
The Pygmies did not disappoint. As soon as the signal was given they began pelting one another. It was quite a sight as the Africans heaved clumps of mud at one another. The crowd cheered lustily and the Post Dispatch called it the “most amusing feature of the meet.”
But as so often happens when mud or most anything else is flung at someone, it’s, as your mother no doubt told you many times, all fun until someone loses an eye. One of the Pygmies got an eyeful of mud and he faltered in battle, in fact he was “almost blinded by the ammunition.” His team, unable to keep up their barrage of mud throwing, soon surrendered. The “civilized” crowds in the stands ate it up.
The other “savages” did not get off easy while the Pygmies fought it out on a field of mud however. They were forced to, among other things, run a mile race, climb poles, throw weights, and toss javelins. The Patagonians and everyone else who had been roped into participating did not want to be performing for the heckling crowds and it became more than obvious when they did their best to do their worst in the events. They listlessly tossed the heavy shot put ball, they leisurely ran the races they were roped into running, and they barely got off the ground in the jumping events.
Perhaps the best of the worst performers were the Ainus. When it was their turn to shot put, their chosen representative mustered the strength to toss the heavy metal ball just over one yard.
Geronimo was also trotted out to participate in shame of Anthropology Days. The Post Dispatch poignantly noted, “Geronimo, the old Apache chief, was on the field but took no part in the sports. He leaned silently against the track-rail and looked on but gave no other sign he was at all interested.” He probably had other things on his mind as he stood there and watched those other aborigines compete in the white man’s sporting events. One of the things on his mind might have been the thought of burning hatred over how his people had been slaughtered and his tribe's land was taken for the use of the louts in the stands who sat laughing as they watched the other “savages” compete. Or he may have been wondering what life would have been like if the whites had actually kept their word and honored their treaties. Or maybe he was just stand there against that “track-rail” praying silently for the sweet release of death. We’ll never know for sure.
In the end though the officials in charge of Anthropology Days declared them to be a success. They had taught the aboriginal savages some “civilized” Olympic style sporting events and even if they were not good at them now, in the future they might get good enough to compete in the Olympics of their own free will.
And what was the response of the man who had revived the Olympic games to the outright racist and shameful Anthropology Days? The Baron De Coubertin, as is so often quoted in Olympic histories, said, “In no place but America would one have dared place such events on a program-but to Americans everything is permissible, their youthful exuberance calling certainly for the indulgence of the ancient Greek ancestors, if, by chance, they found themselves at that time among the amused spectators.” De Coubertin was, as this patronizing quote shows, all for forgiving the St. Louis organizers and the knuckles dragging yokels who watched the atrocity called Anthropology Days. It's important to remember that the Baron had his own racist and misogynistic sides. When he began his revival of the games he did not women to participate in the more strenuous events and he wanted all events limited to those athletes who were classified as amateurs. In the Baron’s heyday and for many years afterwards the word “amateur” meant someone who not only did not take money for his or her sport, but who took no money at all for any type of job whatsoever, so effectively what he wanted then was an Olympics in which only the upper classes would compete since his definition excluded anyone who had to work for a living.
...because you didn't get to eat any of the homemade pizza I made last Saturday night and because you won't get any of the watermelon that we grew in our garden.
Both the pizza and the watermelon tasted great and kicked ass. And the best part is both items were organic. Boo ya!
...so the Today Show hired Jenna "And tonic" Bush. This is just the sort of thing I was expecting from the liberal media, damn them.
Cute, funny movie about a guy, played by Paul Rudd, who has no real guy friends so he sets out to make some before his wedding. His fiancee is played by the oh so cute Rashida Jones.
I saw this one 'On Demand' the other night and I'll admit I kind of wanted to rent it a time or two but I didn't want to sink $4.99 plus tax into doing it. So getting to see it for free was nice.
Sure Ving Rhames kicks ass in this movie too but really no one kicks more ass than Sarah Polley in this zombie gore fest of a film, just look at her with that shot gun in the photo above, she's barefoot, in her jammies, bloody from being attacked by her undead zombie husband, and she's ready to shoot your ass if you mess with her. Am I a bit prejudiced because she's my adopt-an-actor from Canada? Damn right I am. And on the strength of her performance alone I recommend this zombie movie.
Gang of grizzled old homosexuals tries to keep other gays and lesbians from marrying. How very hypocritical of them.
Erika the red headed minx
and the lovely Tanisha.
Teddy's dead. That's what I said.
They are a treasure trove of bad '70's fashion. Today I found and bought five of them at one of my local thrift stores. I also scored two Family Circle Do It Yourself books that were published in 1972 that are chock full of pictures of 1970's retro home interiors and exteriors. I can't wait to share all of the cheesiness with you on this blog and on my retro/vintage picture blog, Dr. Monkey's Retro Blog.
Pineapple Express is a very funny stoner action movie. It's from the Judd Apatow school of film comedies so you know it's going to be funny and it is, it's very funny in parts. The scenes early in the film where Seth Rogan goes to buy weed from and hanging out with his dealer reminded me of when I used to buy weed and hang out with my dealer back in the early and mid '80's.
Heavenly Creatures is one of my favorite films of all time. It's one of those films I watch at least once a year every year. I'm watching it again, I saw the first hour last night and I'll finish it tomorrow night, and every time I see it I notice or appreciate something new about it. Watching it this time around has given me a new appreciation for the Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynskey. They were but mere girls when they made this film but both of them created such vivid believable characters that it astounds me. Both of them had such little acting experience under their belts but both of them blow all the adult actors away in this movie, performance wise. To watch Lynskey look at Winslet with such adoration in her eyes as their friendship progresses is a thing of beauty, it's some of the finest acting ever captured on film.
One thing I did was not listen to all that global warming hoo ha. If Jesus decided he wants it to be warm in Alaska then who are am I to argue with the big guy's son who died for me but who came back to save me? God decided he didn't like all that messy perma frost and that's why houses are moving off their foundations. 
Despite what certain Hollywood actresses wanted, I decided not to stop people from going clubbing. Yah, that's right, I kept big government out of the way of people's right to beat those Communist seals to death for their shiny shiny pelts. 
I signed a law that made it legal for women to drive tractors in Alaska. How many of you can say that? None. That's how many. 
While I was headin' up the big state government of Alaska I got some of the lazy Eskimos to hold fishing poles while they sat outside on the ice. So I put people to work. How many of you can say that? None. That's how many. Unless you own a business that hired people that is. 
During my nearly three years in office I over saw a building boom in Anchorage and our fair city never looked better than it does today. We put a bunch of gravel down on the the old dirt roads so now not so many people get bogged down in the mud when they drive around downtown. 
I almost met my goal of bringing heat to all the schools in my adopted home state but the liberals in the legislature wouldn't let me give all the kids heat and give tax breaks to big oil companies too so since we get a lot of money from oil companies and none from school kids, what was I supposed to do? 
During my time office the pile of burning refuse got bigger which provided heat to anyone who was willing to stand near it. 
Computers were modernized when I was large and in charge. Look at that beauty in the photo above. That's a big Wang, isn't it? 
I insisted that all planes the Alaska Air Force have propellers and by golly all of them do!
And finally I got more white Christians to come to Alaska than ever before. Unfortunately not many of them stayed and Alaska is still over run with mooses, wolfs, and Eskimos. 
Lieberman now says that there is no need for health insurance reform until we're out of the recession that he helped bring about. That kind of bullshit sounds to me like the idiots in the NRA who crow after every school shooting that, "Now is not the time to talk about gun control."
John McCain has suspended his presidential campaign once again. He says he'll keep it suspended until President Obama drops the public option or until he gets a bottle of bourbon to mix with his Ensure. Stay tuned for more details on this developing story...
Well, the best thing I can say about this movie is that Christine Baranski and Meryl Streep looked very sexy in it.
One way to avoid falling is to not walk near the ocean where you can get swept away by a wave. 
"Mommy, what's a tape recorder?"
Definitely not PETA approved.
"Help! I'm trapped in a one hundred and fifty pound knit dress!"
One man's art is another man's food.
I drove over to Bristol VA to get some Mega Millions tickets because I really want to win the jackpot and I did not want to drive back the way I came, which was via the Bristol Highway during race week. So I decided to go back via Interstate 81. And since I was close I decided to stop by Sonic CD's over by the Bristol Mall. 
While in the store I happened upon a CD by The Bird and The Bee and since it was only $5.99, I bought it. 
As soon as I heard their modern retro sound I fell in love with them. If Combustible Edison and April March had a baby, that baby would grow up to be The Bird and The Bee. Inara George has the voice of a sultry breathy angel and Greg Kurstin plays most all of the musical instruments with flair and precision. They've got a timeless cool quality about them and I can't wait to hear more from them. But right now I'll have to settle for listening to this CD over and over again:
And yes, that's them in the new banner atop the page. 
My favorite tracks on this CD are My Love, Love Letter To Japan, Polite Dance Song, and You're a Cad. But honestly, I love all the tracks on this CD. And I'm ready to name Ms. George and Mr. Kurstin the hippest people on the planet. 
...here's the abandoned mine in Peru where we buried your parents alive. They've got about 12 hours of oxygen left. You can either go save them or you can go see the new Transformers movie with us."
"Hey everyone, if you're not reading STFU Believers then you're missing out on a funny fun blog that pokes fun at the Christian zealots and their insistence to infect the world with their bat shit craziness. And don't forget to watch the premiere of Project Runway tonight at ten PM eastern on Lifetime."
You may remember that Richard Jenkins, the male lead in this film, got nominated for an Oscar for his performance in this fine movie. The truth is, now that after I've seen it, I think he should have won it instead of Sean Penn. His performance is nothing short of miraculous. After years of playing supporting roles, and doing a damn fine job in them, this is his first major studio starring role and he nails it.
nearly steals the movie from Jenkins. Her performance oozes truth and tenderness at every turn. And when she and Jenkins get close, you feel like cheering out loud for them because for once in a grown up movie the good guy almost gets the great gal.
