Horror Halloween!

These are brought to you by some genius in my neighborhood.

Halloween!

If you and the kids are going trick or treating tonight, please remember that there has never been a case of any one finding razor blades in apples and that only once has someone been poisoned by candy that had been tampered with, and in that case a father gave his own son a pixie stick that had been laced with poison in order to kill the kid so he could collect insurance money. Other than that case, THERE HAS NEVER EVER BEEN ANY CASES OF KIDS BEING GIVEN ANY HALLOWEEN TREAT THAT HAD BEEN TAMPERED WITH. So, holy shit, just fucking relax and let your kids be kids.

Two Nick Carter classics

Love the Peter Max influenced cover on this one.

The forbidden icy blond German female spy, is there any better kind?
No.
There is not.

Sweet find

I not only remember the film this was based on, I remember buying a copy of this same comic book when it hit the stands in the early 1970's. I picked up this copy for two bucks today at a comic book sale in my town, and I'll be scanning and posting it on my scan blog in a few days.

Ahhh, how I love finding pieces of my pop culture past.

Cone!

Bristol goes on forever

I love this 1960's photo of Bristol, TN/VA. It makes the city look glamorous and like it goes on forever. I got it out of a 1962 King College, which is my alma mater by the way, yearbook.

An open letter to a douchebag

Dear 'Liberal' Douchebag Twat from Wisconsin,

You and I are Facebook friends no more due to the fact that you can't let go of your stereotypes about people here in the south.

You seem to think that the south is the only place in the USA where there are conservatives and radical right wing religious whack jobs. I'm here to inform you that you're an idiot for thinking that. Are there lots and lots of conservatives in the south? You bet. Are there lots and lots in your home state of Wisconsin? You bet. Do we have radical right wing religious whack jobs here in the south? Oh hells yes. Does your state have it's share of radical right wing religious whack jobs? Yes ma'am and you'd see them if you stopped looking down your nose at us. Yo, Madam Douchie, stop bitching about the splinter in our eye and do something about that log in yours.

It's not like Wisconsin cornered the market on liberals after all. Martin Luther King Jr, southern liberal. Al Gore Sr., liberal. Morris Dees, liberal. Jimmy Carter, liberal. Me and most all of my circle of friends here in northeast TN, proud liberals.

Now, I'd like to remind you of some of Wisconsin's most notorious conservatives. Joseph McCarthy, conservative. Tommy Thompson, conservative. Ron Johnson, conservative. Wow, how about that, the biggest conservative bogey man ever, Joe McCarthy, was spawned from your state. The people of your state elected him and he made life hell for left wing people for years and years. Holy shit, Wisconsin is the breeding ground for sleazy conservatives, conservatives whose witch hunts took the lives and careers of thousands of innocent people. Why I bet your grandparents voted for him. So that makes you and your family fucking despicable horrible people. How does it feel to have the blood of all those people McCarthy hounded on your hands Kate? Feels pretty slimey I bet.

And you know what? As long as you're hating on the south, please by all means, feel free to never ever come here. We don't need your sanctimonious type here. Don't ever come here and please stop using all the great things we have today that are or were brought to you by southerners. Don't use air conditioning, which was perfected by a southerner. Don't eat any of the produce that we grow here and ship up to that frozen hell hole of a state you live in. Don't drink any orange juice because they grow those oranges in Florida, a southern state.

But if you do happen to come down here to the south, we'll be nice to you because that's how we roll. We'll do our best to make you feel welcome because of a little thing called 'southern hospitality.' You ever hear of it? Hey, how come I never heard of such a thing as 'northern hospitality'? Oh wait, I know, it's because there no such thing. Yeah, we'll be nice to you. We'll be nice and offer you something to eat, something drink, a place to stay if you need one. And we'll even be nice when you drone on telling us how you do things up north. We'll smile, nod our heads, and be polite as you rudely tell us that we doing something wrong because we're not doing it the way you think we should be doing it. And we'll never tell you that you talk funny, even though you and most everyone up north will tell us that we talk funny when we have the misfortune of visiting your hellishly cold state. Please, don't misunderstand me, when I call your state hellishly cold, I mean it both figuratively and literally.

Finally, if I seem rude, mean, and condescending to you in this open letter, it's because I learned how to be those things in my early years growing up in the north. And don't get me wrong, I'm not tarring all people from Wisconsin with my brush, I'm just painting you with it because you're a closed minded asswipe who needs to be taken down notch. Many notches.

Now goodbye and good riddance.

Good things come in threes

I got this meme off of Samurai Frog's blog.

3 Places I Would Pack My Travel Bag For:
New Zealand (He and I agree on this one.)
Japan/Korea
France

3 On-Screen Characters I Love To Watch:
Bugs Bunny
Paula Malcolmson (Technically she's not a character but I think she's the best actress working on TV today and I'd watch her in anything she's in.)
Alan Partridge

3 "Moods" That Describe Me The Best:
Happy
Cynical
Irritated

3 Things I Always Think Of Doing On A Weekend:
Cooking
Watching movies or a British comedy on DVD
Relaxing

3 Things From My Childhood That I Can't Forget:
Being a huge Detroit Tigers fan
Spending time with my mom
Getting tons of Christmas presents despite being poor (I'll never know how my parents managed to get us so much stuff considering my mom didn't work due to her health and my dad barely worked due to his mental illness.)

3 Things I Would Never Say No To:
A good ol' cold beer
Taxing the rich
Hunting for bargains in antique stores, junk shops/thrift stores, and yard sales

3 Things I Can't Live Without:
The interwebs
Making jokes (even if no one but me gets them)
Sparky and our friends

Variations on a theme

Ginny Thomas wants the following apologies

1) She wants the Move On supporter who got her head stomped to apologize for not letting her attackers stomp her more.
2) She wants President Obama to apologize to her for not having the right kind of proof that he was born in the USA.
3) She wants an apology from the makers of Monistat 7.
4) She wants an apology from the Birmingham 6.
5) She wants the Dave Clark 5 to apologize.
6) She wants the four horsemen of the apocalypse to apologize in advance.
7) She's waiting on the Kingston Trio to apologize.


8) She'd like the makers of Two for the Seesaw to apologize.
9) And she wants to hear an "I'm terribly sorry," from the makers of One Good Cop.

She'll get those apologies or they'll be hell to pay. Mark my words.

Comments

I've heard that some of you have had problems leaving comments and I've found that on some of your blogs I have had problems leaving comments, like the comment box taking FOREVER to load.

I swear it's nothing I've done to this blog that's making it do that shit. Fucking Google should take some of that money that they aren't paying in taxes and hire someone to figure out the fucking problem.

Oh yeah, that reminds me...fuck you Google for not paying your fair share in taxes you fucking corporate pig fuckers. I hope all of the people who hide your profits in off shore accounts die slow painful deaths you greedy bastards.

So who are you voting for?

I polled some people entirely at random and I asked them who they planned to vote for. Here's what they told me:

"We're voting for anyone named Bush. They seem to know how to deliver for white folks, so we're with them for the long haul."

"I'm voting for anyone who has the courage to admit that Christians, even though we're in the majority in this country, are a persecuted minority."

"Vote? Only the little people vote and besides, I'm too rich to care which political candidate screws you little people over yet again."

"I'm voting for that woman who isn't a witch, because after all, witches have far too much political power in this country."

"I'm going to tote my gardener and my pool boy. What's that? Oh, vote. No. I'm not voting because I'll be too busy carrying my gardener and pool boy around on election day."

"Can I vote for Eisenhower? Oh wait, he's too far left to be a Republican in today's political climate. So I'll vote for Eye of Newt. Yeah, bitches, I'm a witch. And I'm engaged to Dr. Bombay and you can suck it if you don't get that reference."

"I'm voting for that guy who hates the gays in public but makes money off them in private. That's how I roll as a member of the Hypocrite Party. Now stop staring at my tits even though I'm showing them to you."

Two out of three ain't bad, in fact two out of three are really great

I have a confession to make. I didn't used to be crazy about Sherlock Holmes. I grew up watching those Basil Rathbone Holmes movies when I was a kid and they bored me to death. I never read the books either. I never got into the Jeremy Brett incarnation of Holmes on PBS and I have yet to see the Guy Ritchie version of Holmes.

Keeping all that in mind, I decided to give the new PBS version of Sherlock a try and hot damn I'm ever so glad I did.
It's freakin' brilliant. This version brings Holmes and Watson into the 21st century with spectacular results. The story, at least this first one, A Study In Pink, was a whip smart blazing fast tale that introduced all the principals and set the stage for the next episodes. And it didn't hurt that it had two of my favorite British actors, Martin Freeman and Philip Davis, in it.


I read the first three Fables collections back to back to back and I got kind of burnt out on them as a result. But after a year of being off Fables, I read the fourth collection and damn, it blew my socks off. It's full of great story telling, great dialogue, and great art. In this collection we meet new characters and we find out a little more of the back story of the lives of some of the current and newish fable characters. This collection is brilliant. It made me want to read more of these collections and since my library has them, I'll do just that in the next few weeks.

The art in this adaption of Kidnapped is really good and I'm sure the adaption of the novel itself is good, my problem with it is that novel itself. I found the story to be meh, boring, hackneyed, done to death. I'm not a huge Robert Louis Stevenson fan and I gave this one a try but in the end, I didn't care for the story. I should have given this one a miss.

Speaking of speaking out...

Where was the chorus of boos from the right and from Fox News when Helen Thomas got fired for speaking her mind? The only differences between her and Juan Williams is that she spoke out against Israel's treatment of the Palestinians and she didn't work for Fox.

If it was okay for the AP to fire Helen for what she said, then it's okay for NPR to fire Uncle Juan for what he said.

Case closed.

Beard of the week

Safe?

Serial liar and delusional former President Bush Jr said recently, "In terms of accomplishments, my biggest accomplishment is that I kept the country safe amidst a real danger."

My question is what country is he talking about?
The worst terrorist attack in our history took place under his watch.
Then he used that attack as a pretext to go to war where hundreds of thousands of people got killed, maimed, and psychologically damaged.
And because he took us to war extremists all over the world stepped up their terror attacks, thereby making the world a much more dangerous place. So he didn't keep this country safe. Nor did he keep our allies countries safe, both the bombings in Madrid and London were a result of the wars of terror on Iraq and Afghanistan.
Iraq isn't safe. Even after years and years of war.
Afghanistan isn't safe after ten years of war.

Oh wait, there is one group of people who Bush Jr did protect and keep safe, his base of obscenely rich white men.
Murdoch and his billions are safe.
Lying murderous Amway thug Eric Prince CEO of Blackwater/Xe and his billions are safe.

Pat Robertson and the Christian Taliban are safe.

The rest of the world and the working man and woman, not so much. History will show time and time again that Bush was the worst President ever. I wish there was a hell for his lying murdering delusional ass to burn forever in.

Fall colors, autumn sights

Delusional white woman of the decade

Clarence Thomas's teabaggin' wife is convinced that Anita Hill owes her husband an apology for what she put him through during his Supreme Court confirmation hearing almost 2o years ago. She honestly wants the woman her husband sexually harassed to apologize for telling the world what that pig husband of hers did to Ms. Hill. And she wants it done despite the almost 20 years that have gone by and despite the fact that the guy who wrote the book that claimed Hill was lying says he was wrong to have called her a liar and that he made up shit in the book he wrote about the whole affair.

In a year that's brought us Christine O'Donnell, Virginia Thomas wins the non coveted 'Most Delusional White Woman of the Decade' award.

The hard truth

The other day Sparky asked me if I wanted candles on my birthday cake. I said, "Sure, but you don't have to put thirty nine candles on there or anything like that."

She said, "Oh, don't worry. I wasn't about to thirty nine candles on it."

Ouch. Busted.

Project much Mike?

Fat religious radical Republican Mike Huckabee is outraged that someone would use religion to politically attack someone else.
He wrote this on his PAC blog:

"The only thing worse than a person attempting to show-off and parade his faith for the purpose of getting a vote is a person who would falsely and viciously attack his political opponent's faith and lie about it. The latest ad by Jack Conway will be studied by future political scientists as the most egregious example of slash and burn sleaze politics..."

I left him a comment to the effect that if anyone knew about people parading their faith to get votes, it would be him because after all he built his political career on it. Somehow I doubt he and his handlers will ever let my comment will ever see the light of day on his PAC blog.

What the fat douchebag actually meant to say was, that he's shocked the a Democrat had the gall to attack a Republican over his lack of religion. But considering that Huckabee never takes responsibility and always blames others for his actions, wants to deny those with pre existing conditions (including kids with cancer) health insurance, and thinks that Jesus condones the death penalty because he didn't climb down off the cross, this latest incident should surprise no one. Huckabee is one of those first class douchebags who gives Christianity an even worse image than it's already got.

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