Here's a scary joke for you on Halloween

The disgraced director of FEMA under Bush Jr asked why the response to Hurricane Sandy was so quick. 

What?  That's not a joke?  Former horse show judge Michael 'Heck of a job Brownie' Brown really said that?  Holy fuck, how that guy can show his face in public is a mystery to me.

Typical

When Newt gets caught slagging off another Republican, flip flopping on Libya, and his adultery comes back to haunt him, he does what all conservatives do, they turn around blame the liberal media. However, when Rupert Murdoch controls all the media, he'll have to blame the gays for all his failings, missteps, and gaffes.

This is going to sound crazy but...

I have a modest proposal for my fellow citizens of the USA. I propose that we let the conservative right run our government for the next ten years. And not the namby pamby Republicans who want to compromise with the Democrats, no, only the hard right wing of the conservative movement gets to run things for at least a decade. People like Jim Demint, Michelle Bachman, and the rest of them, they get to run things and implement their vision.

They get to slash taxes, privatize all governmental services, end unemployment, stop all forms of welfare (except for corporate welfare), and run off every brown skinned immigrant they see. They get to outlaw homosexuality, force women to have babies no matter what, marry church and state, basically they get to implement their whole agenda unimpeded.

But...and you knew there was going to be a but...when people see that magically cutting taxes for all doesn't lead to job growth, and that not having a fire department, a police department, libraries, schools, roads, and safe sound bridges kind of sucks ass, the conservatives get kicked out of power and all the reforms that FDR pushed through in the depression of the 1930's get put back into place, all the Great Society programs of LBJ get put back into place, and all the deregulation of the last 30 years gets tossed out. And corporations lose their 'personhood' status.

I'm proposing we let the conservatives implement their vision for the USA but when people see that it's unworkable and that it's ruining our country then we get to tax the shit out of the rich, out of corporations, and that we get single payer not for profit health insurance for all. It might take about 2 years for everyone to see that the modern conservative philosophy of governing is pure snake oil bullshit. And once they do, they'll realize why we have to pay taxes, that we're all in this together, and that modern multinational corporations are out to ruin us with their unsustainable business model.

I'm willing to put up with a few years of hell to get a brighter future for all of us.

Safe?

Serial liar and delusional former President Bush Jr said recently, "In terms of accomplishments, my biggest accomplishment is that I kept the country safe amidst a real danger."

My question is what country is he talking about?
The worst terrorist attack in our history took place under his watch.
Then he used that attack as a pretext to go to war where hundreds of thousands of people got killed, maimed, and psychologically damaged.
And because he took us to war extremists all over the world stepped up their terror attacks, thereby making the world a much more dangerous place. So he didn't keep this country safe. Nor did he keep our allies countries safe, both the bombings in Madrid and London were a result of the wars of terror on Iraq and Afghanistan.
Iraq isn't safe. Even after years and years of war.
Afghanistan isn't safe after ten years of war.

Oh wait, there is one group of people who Bush Jr did protect and keep safe, his base of obscenely rich white men.
Murdoch and his billions are safe.
Lying murderous Amway thug Eric Prince CEO of Blackwater/Xe and his billions are safe.

Pat Robertson and the Christian Taliban are safe.

The rest of the world and the working man and woman, not so much. History will show time and time again that Bush was the worst President ever. I wish there was a hell for his lying murdering delusional ass to burn forever in.

Over and out

So CPAC's anal gathering (pun intended so don't leave me any comments telling me I made a mistake) is over with and all the angry rich conservatives have gone home with their belly's full of meals prepared for them by the undocumented workers they hate and their minds full of red meat tossed to them by the vast array of lily white speakers at the event. And of course, their new de facto leader, Glenn Beck,
left them all with a warm fuzzy feeling inside their cold small hearts.

I didn't watch a second of the smug coverage of the event and I didn't read any of the long fawning articles about it that appeared in the corporate media newspapers but I can pretty much sum up the meeting despite my not knowing much about what actually went on or what was said. Here goes:

• They hailed the coward who flew his planes into the IRS building in Austin as an anti government hero and there's more than likely going to be a move afoot to make his remains a holy conservative relic like the Catholics of old did to their dead martyrs.
• Mann Coulter said something mean about John Edwards. And liberals. Then she smirked and tossed her straw like hair out of her face. When she got done speaking they wheeled her back in to her crypt where she feasted upon blood harvested from young Muslims and Mexicans.
  
• Glenn Beck cried and cried and then he cried some more. Then he gave a rambling talk about how progressives were responsible for World War 2, Communism, germs, and his little dick.
• George Will decried unions, the lack of child labor, and OSHA.
  
• Smug sanctimonious people of all shades of white from ecru to egg shell bemoaned the fact that their country is being taken from them. They bitched about affirmative action, which was made law under a Republican president. They complained about criminals having too many rights. And they whined about the fact that gays, women, blacks, and people who speak Spanish as their first language want equal treatment under the law.
  
• Many 'jokes' were made about teleprompters. And they were made by people using teleprompters.
• The speakers, attendees, and the staff of FOX Noise reporters who were covering the event all mocked the reality of climate change, evolution, and 'fancy book learning' in general.

Notice how two of the right's biggest 'stars,' Sarah Palin and Mike Huckabee, stayed away. Palin kept clear because she knows she be exposed as an intellectually barren harpy if she went and Huckabee stayed away because they went and let teh gay in this year.

Personally, I love it when right wingers congregate and spout off. Gathering like this shows their political philosophy for what it is, a racist longing for the past. And it shows them to be hypocritical blowhards who hate anything that isn't straight, white, and Christian.

What Bush really inherited

James Carville's crazy wife said Bush inherited the 9/11 terrorist attacks. It's s statement stunning not only for it's simple stupidity, it's also yet another attempt at revising history. Republicans and conservative pundits have always tried to act like the biggest terrorist attack on this country didn't happen on their watch but in point of fact it did. The US Supreme Court had named Bush Jr, the idiot, President after they halted the recount in Florida and no amount of lies can alter the fact that Bush was President when those planes hit the Twin Towers. No amount lies can alter the fact that his administration, and Clinton's, and Bush the elder's, and Reagan's as well had the Taliban and Osama Bin Laden's terrorist group on their payroll. Those two organizations fought Communists so we gave them money. It's a fact. It's not a fact the right wing likes mentioned but it's a fact, it's a matter of public record.

But that's not really what I want to talk about in this post. What I want to talk about is the things Bush really inherited, not the fantasy shit Mary Matalin makes up. Here's a partial list of things Bush inherited when the Supreme Court named him President:

• A budget surplus. (Which he then turned into a huge budget deficit because he plunged us into two never ending wars.)
• International goodwill. (Which he then pissed away by starting two wars that seem to never end.)
• A solid economy that was working for most all Americans and not just the ones at the top. (Then when he cut taxes in the middle of his wars he sent the economy of working and middle class people into a tailspin that they will never get out of under our current economic system.)

Dick Cheney's former top aide, Ms. Carville, would do well to remember the history of this country the way it actually was and not how she wishes it were. But when it comes to Bush Cheney Kool Aid drinkers, this pretty much sums it up:

Never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person

I'm betting this never knew that there were no Czars in the USSR. I'll also bet that he thinks Obama is a Commie Nazi too.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

Remember a few weeks ago when Jessee Ventura was on The View and Elizabeth Hasselback kept whining indignantly about how she thought Nancy Pelosi was lying about being lied to by the CIA?

Well now that it's been proven that Pelosi was right I wonder if Hasselback, seen here about to feast upon the tender baby flesh that keeps her so young looking,
is going to apologize for accusing Speaker Pelosi of lying? Somehow I doubt it because being a conservative Republican in today's world means never admitting you were wrong, even after you been proven wrong beyond any shadow of a doubt.

It's time to check in with the cleaning lady

Hey cleaning lady, you look down in the dumps. What's up? You didn't go and huff some ammonia mixed with bleach again did you?
No. I told you already I only did that those tens of times because I was drunk. No, see, I'm down in the dumps over all the nonsense the conservatives are pulling.

Oh yeah, like what?

Like this Sarah Palin shit. She ups and quits in the middle of her first term and then she says she's not a quitter and that she's actually a fighter and all the Republicans and their toads on FOX Noise fall all over themselves making excuses for her. If I upped and quit my job I'd lose my house and my car. No one lauds me for going to work every day and cleaning up after people. Oh crap, excuse me. I need to clean that off the window before it dries.


What was it?

Well Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) was just here and he got excited telling me all about his affair with his Argentine soul mate. He got so excited that he squirted some spuzz on the window.

Ewwwww.

Aaaaah, I've seen worse.

Really?

Sure. I had to clean up after Sen. Ensign (R-Nev.) and since I know some young kids read this blog, let's just say that after him and that married woman he was banging got done with their business there was lots of skidmarks on the walls and floors and and broken vials that needed cleaning up.

Broken vials? You know what was in them? Were they doing drugs?

They didn't contain drugs, they were filled with the tears of small children who were frightened by clowns. Ensign uses them as a personal lubricant. Hey, can you move for a minute? I need to scrub up the place where John McCain's adult diaper exploded.

What else is eating at you cleaning lady?

Get this, the conservatives who are getting the best health care our government has to offer want to make sure that people like me don't get it. If it's good enough for them, how come I can't have it? They say it's too expensive but hell, we've found enough money to pay for two wars. Why can't we find enough money to insure all Americans? Instead of calling it 'single payer health care for all' let's call it 'fighting the war on terror' and then they'll bend over backwards to pay for it.


You seem pretty smart cleaning lady. Why don't you run for office some day?

Because I've got too much self respect and I can't talk out of both sides of my mouth while screwing the public over at the same time. You know what I'd like to do though? I'd like to ram this vaccuum hose nozzle up all the butts of all the conservative politicians and vaccuum the hypocrisy right out of them.
Oh cleaning lady, you know they don't make a vaccuum big enough to hold all that.

Yeah, I know, it's just a dream I have. It's kind of like my other dream...

Which is?

That one day I'll be able to huff ammonia and bleach without blacking out.

What's worse...

...a mother who doesn't have the kid who committed statutory rape on her young daughter prosecuted,

or a guy who made a joke about her daughter who got knocked up when she had unprotected sex before she was of legal age to do so?


Spare all of us your phony outage Ms. Palin. You should be outraged at Levi for raping the daughter you paraded around for your political benefit. It's Letterman's job to make fun of you and it was your job to make sure your own daughter didn't get knocked up before she got married. You struck out, Dave knocked a home run.

An ugly truth

I don't ever want to shut Glen Beck, that fat drug addict Rush Limbaugh, Mike Malkin, Mann Coulter, or even that crazy Bachman woman up. I want them to keep talking and to keep on telling their lies and their crazy conspiracy theories.

What I would like them to do is to stop being so shocked that the people who follow them and who believe and hang on their every word actually commit murder because of what those right wing blowhards say. Oh they get pissed when people rightly make the connection between the domestic terrorists who murder and them but the ugly truth is there is a connection.

When a conservative gun nut hears that it's okay to start a revolution because Malkin or Bachman or Beck said it was fine by them, they take that to mean it's fine to kill people. Cases in point:

• the murderer who killed all those people in the Unitarian church in Knoxville, TN. He stated explicitly that he targeted that church because there were liberals there. He was a follower of right wing hate radio and he wanted to start a revolution against liberals and to kill everyone on Bernie Goldberg's list of liberals who are 'harming' America.
• Tim McVeigh, this murdering creep was a product of the far right militia groups who want to overthrow the US government because they think it's being run by Zionists and Communists.

• The KKK and skinheads. These guys aren't liberals or progressives or socialists, or fans of Obama. They are hard right wing haters who will kill and use violence to achieve their right wing aims.

These people and other easily influenced people get fed a steady diet of right wing hate radio and they either read books by their idols or someone reads them to them and then they actually go out and act on the hatred they are full of. They hear that it's because of Democrats, liberals, ball busting women, gays, Mexicans, blacks, and Jews that they can't get ahead or find work or get their slice of the American dream. When in reality it's the rigged system that was built by conservatives who were aided by their pals in corporate America that are holding them back.

These acts of political violence have been perpetrated, and will always be perpetrated, by true believers in the right wing's message of hate. No liberal in the USA ever committed mass murder, no liberal in the USA ever gunned down someone they disagreed with politically, no liberal in the USA ever plotted to overthrow the government by violent means, all those things have been done by easily duped people who have identified themselves or aligned themselves with right wing conservative political groups and right wing media icons.

If you keep poking a bee hive with a stick eventually the bees will get pissed off and take action. So Rush and Sean and crybaby Glen need to stop acting all innocent when people go out and kill to help bring about a world their idols so desperately want.

********

And one more thing before I get off my soapbox, the reason so many right wing media people want to call President Obama a fascist/Nazi is because they want to confuse their followers and make them forget that Nazism and fascism are conservative right wing political movements.

Sen Judd Gregg (R-NH)...

...proving once again that Republicans put party first and country second. Ol' Judd decided he'd like to obstruct more and help get us out of the mess of the Bush years less. Thanks for being a patriot Judd! I for one will never forget how you voted with Bush on the Patriot act, on the war, on taking civil liberties away from Americans, and how you helped make this country less safe. And I won't forget that all the while you were bashing big government, you were sucking at it's teat. Fuck you, you stinking old hypocrite.


I'm hoping like crazy that the people Like Judd Gregg keep following the dictates of Rush "The big fat drug addict" Limbo. If they do then pretty soon they'll follow him off the cliff and into oblivion.

Psssst, wanna know a secret?

Despite the fact that I am a hardcore liberal/progressive/socialist, it doesn't matter to me who is running the government as long as they do a good job at it.

And as we've seen in the past 8 years and in the 12 years before Clinton, modern conservatives don't do a good job of running things. How can they if their goal is to do away with government? Wealthy conservatives don't need government because they can pay to have the things government does done by private business. And in fact they hate government because it takes their money in the form of taxes. That's why when they get in power the first thing they want to do is to cut taxes on themselves, their benefactors, and the businesses they own.

It wasn't always that way with Republicans though and there have been some good Republican Presidents, although there has never ever been a Republican led Congress that did anything much good for all of the people of this country. Since the birth of the Republican party there have been two good Republican Presidents and they are:

Teddy Roosevelt
and Abe Lincoln.

Teddy was a great President because he saw the threat we faced as a nation from out of control corporations and he broke up some of the biggest of them while he was President. Unlike his modern Republican peers, he was committed to peace, at least while he was President, and his brokering of a peace deal between Japan and Russia won him a Nobel Peace prize. I'm not crazy about his love of shooting large animals for sport but hell, no one was perfect. It's important to note that Teddy left the Republican party and that he'd not be welcome in that party today is he tried to run for office due to his anti corporate views.

Abe Lincoln would not be welcome in the Republican party today either. His policy of working with people he disagreed with would not find a home in the 'our way or fuck off' Republican party of today. They would also have problems with him because he signed the Emancipation Proclamation, the modern Republican party is perhaps the most racist institution around, and yes that's true even though they elected a token black man to be their leader, he's the exception that proves the rule.

If there was a Republican who was the same caliber of man that Teddy and Abe was I'd have no qualms or reservations about voting for one for President. Unfortunately the best they can offer is the drunken failure George W. Bush, the Mormon flip flopping hair do Mitt Romney, and the doddering old John McCain who would do and say anything to get elected because he felt like he was entitled to the office after all the years of his and his family's military service. It's said that the party of Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt can only produce leaders who want to serve only themselves and their pals in big business and not the rest of us.

Sunshine patriots

While flipping through the cable channels one night a few years ago I came upon Bill O'Reilly's show for a moment. He and Dennis Miller were bleating some nonsense designed to whip up the meth addicted rubes and the anti immigration nut jobs who polish their guns as soon as they get off work and get back to their trailers. I remember that Miller was saying something to the effect of, "We're in a war Cha Cha and we all damn well better support the President in this thing." Bill O screamed something and then Miller shot back, "Ya know what Billy? I'm supporting the President during war. I don't care if the President is George W. Bush or Hillary Clinton, I'm standing behind the President because I'm a good American like that." Then he made a reference to Kaiser Wilhelm, Polynesian fire dancers, and the Department of Agriculture. His reference, like most of his shtick, was inane and idiotic so I turned it. But that brief exchange stuck in my mind because I knew then that a Democrat was going to win the White House and I hoped that Dennis and his fellow travellers on the right would actually follow through on supporting a Democratic Party President during this time of "war."

Well, after a couple of days I see that they're not going to do what Miller said they should do. The fat drug addict Limbaugh says that he hopes Obama fails. I'm not sure what excuse Miller is going to give for not backing our new Commander in Chief and I doubt I'll ever know it because I don't watch Bill O's show.

And the little people who the big guns in conservative media say they speak for sure as hell aren't supporting our President in this time of war. Case in point, an old college acquaintance of mine. Long time readers of my blog will remember that I went to a small conservative Christian college. And the so called Reagan revolution was going on when I was in school. My college was conservative religiously and politically. If you had scratched some of those right wingers I went to college with you would have found Nazi's underneath.

Well I reconnected with a gal I went to college with on Facebook recently and after I put up a note on inauguration day that said I hoped Bush and Cheney would be tried for their war crimes she commented back that the Bush bashing should stop and that the faulty intelligence that led us to war was the fault of Bill Clinton, who according to her looked the other way in the hunt for Bin Laden, and not George W. Bush. I was amazed, but not surprised, that she was laying the fiasco known as the war of terror on Iraq at the feet of Bill Clinton.

My good friend Vikkitikkitavi proceeded to educate my poor misinformed old college acquaintance. When confronted with the facts, which are always pesky problematic things to a conservative, my college acquaintance became shriller in her defense of her position and her man George W. Bush. I jumped in and tried to mollify and educate the poor girl but alas she was having none of it. In some of her early comments she said that the inauguration showed that America was a great democracy and that she was proud Obama had just been sworn in but a few comments later she said something to the effect of, "Ya'll should be happy, you got your President and change is a comin'!" I wanted to remind her that we all got a new President and that while I may not agree with everything he says or does, he is the President of all the people of this country and he's going to work for all the people, not just church going, gun owning, easily manipulated intellectually bankrupt hicks like her and her family. But as I was writing up a stinging reply to her last comment I remembered that trying to educate a misguided conservative is as big a waste of time as trying to teach a pig to sing is. Pigs can't sing no matter how hard you try to make them and conservatives never learn no matter how many facts you put in front of them.

So it's like I thought it was going to be, Dennis Miller, Bill O, Sean Hannity, Mike Malkin, Mann Coulter, and Laura C. from King College have no intention of supporting our new President in a time of war, even though they insisted that we support the idiot who took us to Iraq based on faulty intelligence that he had fabricated to support his case for war. The folks on the right are patriots when one of theirs is leading the country but when a Democrat is in charge they can't be bothered to support him.

My new Congressman not only hates women...

...he hates kids too! He voted against expanding SCHIP yesterday. Congressman Roe, seen here getting ready to cast another ballot against the working people of our Congressional district,
is a disgrace to his office and he's yet another in a long line of Republicans who feed at the federal government trough but don't want anyone else to share in that meal. It's time I wrote him an email demanding he resign, maybe if I'm lucky someone will read it to him.

I don't usually follow TN State politics...

...because the state house and senate are filled with asshole reactionary Republicans who think that they don't have to listen to anyone but themselves, their minister, and their lobbyist pals. But this is just too good to pass up. It seems a moderate Republican who doesn't cotton to every loony right wing conservative talking point has become Speaker of the TN House with the help of all the Democrats in that same body.

Maybe between them, the Democrats and the new moderate Speaker, they'll beat back the tide of reactionary legislation that's brewing in Nashville. Maybe they won't enact laws that let people carry concealed weapons into our state parks and that let corporations get away with murder. And hopefully things will go back to normal and we won't be the laughingstock of the country and Alabama and Mississippi can duke it out for that honor.

So far he's two for two!

My new Congressman, seen here relaxing after a long day of legislating,has started off the new session of Congress with a bang. He voted against the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act of 2009, that's the law that is going to correct that glaringly incorrect Supreme Court decision that said the women have only a short time to sue for discrimination even if they did not find out about said discrimination until years later, and he voted against the Paycheck Fairness Act, which closes loopholes that allowed employers to pay people, especially women, unequal pay for equal work. I am happy to report that both bills passed despite his 'no' vote.

Thank goodness my douchebag Congressman is in the minority in Congress.