Tuesday, October 26, 2010

So who are you voting for?

I polled some people entirely at random and I asked them who they planned to vote for. Here's what they told me:

"We're voting for anyone named Bush. They seem to know how to deliver for white folks, so we're with them for the long haul."

"I'm voting for anyone who has the courage to admit that Christians, even though we're in the majority in this country, are a persecuted minority."

"Vote? Only the little people vote and besides, I'm too rich to care which political candidate screws you little people over yet again."

"I'm voting for that woman who isn't a witch, because after all, witches have far too much political power in this country."

"I'm going to tote my gardener and my pool boy. What's that? Oh, vote. No. I'm not voting because I'll be too busy carrying my gardener and pool boy around on election day."

"Can I vote for Eisenhower? Oh wait, he's too far left to be a Republican in today's political climate. So I'll vote for Eye of Newt. Yeah, bitches, I'm a witch. And I'm engaged to Dr. Bombay and you can suck it if you don't get that reference."

"I'm voting for that guy who hates the gays in public but makes money off them in private. That's how I roll as a member of the Hypocrite Party. Now stop staring at my tits even though I'm showing them to you."


libhom said...

"I'm voting for the politician who is bought and paid for. Maybe he will let me in on the action."

Estancia De La Ding Dong said...

Excellent post ! I should get back to work - I've been staring at the girl's tits for too long...

Ricky Shambles said...

I was going to say something intelligent or witty but ...hehe... I got boobies on the brain.

Freida Bee, MD said...

I'm so glad I early voted because now I can devote my entire election day to doting on men who are not men, and by that I mean Devo.