Who's holding our Crunky now?

Some douchebag who loves Glenn Beck, Nickleback, and Applebee's is holding our Crunky now. I guess Crunky really is the candy bar for everyone.

Adventures in eating

We bought this cookbook at a used bookstore the other day:
And last night I made pollo al limone (chicken with lemon) and fagiolini Sant'Anna (green beans for Saint Anne's day).
Holy hell, was it ever good.
Nom, nom, nom.

A two sentence movie review

I wanted to like this movie but I absolutely hated it. Everyone who was involved with it needs to be punched in the crotch for being in it.

They'll be howling over this new 'insult'

President Obama said this in an interview with Brian Williams of NBC News:
"The president acknowledged the ralliers' concerns about the economy and terrorism and observed, "Given the fact that, you know, in none of these situations are you gonna fix things overnight, it's not surprising that somebody like a Mr. Beck is able to stir up a certain portion of the country."

The right wing fucktards will be howling mad he called them 'a certain portion of the country.' Mark my words.

I always knew she was a winner

Congratulations to my original adopted actor Archie Panjabi!
Archie won an Emmy for her work in the TV show The Good Wife. I don't watch that show but I know Archie's work and I'm sure she deserved that Emmy more than those cows who got nominated alongside her.

Well done Archie. I've always known you were a winner and were head and shoulders above the rest. Could you do me one favor Archie?Please stop telling everyone that that baby is ours. I'm flattered believe me, but seriously, if that baby were mine, he'd have a lot more hair. Kiss kiss!

Here's Archie's acceptance speech in which she forgot to thank me for adopting her. Oh well, I guess she had a lot on her mind right then.

Discarded furniture of the week

Motel of the week

The Carolina Country Motel, the pride of Burnsville, NC.

Don't mess with Panama Fattie...

...or try to stop her from going to the Cryin' Mormon's neo skin head rally in Washington DC.

They were artists once, and young

Awhile back I bought a slender book of art and ruminations from handicapped children that was put out by the Easter Seals people. The publication date of the book was 1977 so most of the kids who did these art pieces are now grown up or passed away, some of them had serious incurable illnesses. Their art leapt off the pages of that slender book and into my heart and mind. Here's some of my favorites from the book which was entitled An Exceptional View of Life:

I love the pattern and repetition in this one.

The fact that a handicapped child made this one just blows my mind. It's one of the most mature pieces of art I have ever seen.

Life on chicken island wasn't easy but somehow the chicken made due.

This one reminds me of Diego Rivera by way of Edward Munch.
I love the scale and composition of this one. And the fall colors as well.

Scapegoat

Republican haters and crybabies have begun blaming the Republican loses in 2006 and 2008 in the fact the Ken Mehlman is gay. They say that they lost so big in those elections because Mr. Mehlman was too preoccupied with other men's fecal canals.

Okay number one, if Ken Mehlman is anything, he's a bottom, so if his mind was on anything, it was on the penises of other men, not their poop chutes. And number two, the Republicans lost because they suck at governing, they turned Clinton's surplus into a record deficit, and because they got us bogged down in the twin quagmires known as the wars of terror on Iraq and Afghanistan.

We can blame Kenny boy for many things but the ass whippin' his party took in '06 and '08 deserves to be hung on everyone in the Republican establishment.

Keepin' it real

It's time for another round of my opinions and takes on the reality shows I watch.

Top Chef:

This hasn't been a stellar season in Washington DC. And I hate most of the remaining chefs, except for this one:
(sigh) I hope my girl Tiffany goes all the way because she's the real deal, the total package, the gal who put the hot in 'If you can't stand the heat, then get out of the kitchen.' She gorgeous, has a great laugh, can cook the lights out, and did I mention she's hot? I hope she wins it all and then turns around and gives Padma a big ol' kiss and then they make out for about two hours while we get to watch. Oh sorry, did I write that last sentence out loud? Oops.

Project Runway:

I love this new season of PR. They've expanded the episodes to an hour and a half because after all, what the hell else do they run on Lifetime that's better than PR? Nothing. That's what. What I like best about these expanded episodes is they show us what goes on with the designers while the judges are deciding who stays and who goes. I love seeing the designers react when they find out who won and who's on the bottom.

So far this season I despise, I hate, I absolutely can not abide that twat Gretchen. And Ivy too. Both of them are delusional, self aggrandizing bitches who would back stab their own mothers to get ahead in the PR competition They can't be kicked off soon enough to suit me. I want them both gone ASAP.

My favorites this season are:
Valerie. Miss Hottie from Cleveland. She reminds me of my cute as a button friend Donna S. and she designs great looking clothes. She almost got sucked into the orbit of the bitch planet known as Gretchen but so far she has been able to fight off that madness. I hope she makes it to the end.
I also really like Mondo. He's an odd little dude who seems like he was born to be on this show. His personal look is weird, but it's a good weird, in fact if I had had more balls I probably would have dressed more like him back when I was younger. I like the stuff he's designed for his model so far and I hope he gets to the end as well.

Work of Art:
I was over joyed to see Abdi Farah win the whole thing. His art was consistently the strongest week after week and his final show was damn good. I was glad he beat out those two art school douchebags who had treated everyone so badly. And I was doubly glad to see him beat out Tits 'I hate the male gaze on my body so much so that I dress to attract it' McBitch. I'm already looking forward to the nest season of this show and I'm praying to the dark gods that spawned me that Sarah Jessica Horseface doesn't make any more appearances on it. And that Bravo stops running ads for those god awful housewives shows during every fucking commercial break.

Moooooo

All the known breeds of cattle as of 1954 according to Scientific American. Click on each strip to enlarge.

Kenny boy!

The gay community rejoiced yesterday when Ken Mehlman, the man who led the Republican party during it's most virulently anti gay years, came out. Said one gay male who refused to give his name, "This is huge. Ken's a great get, it's almost like if the late Lee Atwater had come out as black."

Ken Mehlman loved a good cock fight at the Bush White House.

"Sure he might have done a lot of good had he come out while his boss George W. Bush was bashing gays left and right, but damn it, he's out now. Say it loud, Ken's gay and he's proud!," said drag queen Kayla La Queque. "We used to think that we didn't have anyone on the inner circle of the Republican leadership, but we actually had one all along and I'll bet he was cramming his gay agenda down the throat of President Bush and that big bear Karl Rove all along."

There's been no word yet if Mehlman's courageous coming out after he was no longer in power has empowered other self loathing deeply closeted Republicans to come out of the closet. Sweaty heavily muscled men who touch themselves a lot in gyms are eagerly awaiting the news that other Republican men, namely John Ashcroft, Fred Phelps, Newt Gingrich, and Mary Cheney will be out and proud like Mehlman is.

"We're in your internets...

...sending out Morse code messages. That's how us old white guys roll."

Big Ben

I found these great illustrations by Ben Shahn in one of those Scientific American magazines I rescued recently. These illustrations accompanied an article on the epidemiology of mental illness.



Great illustrations from a great artist.

Miss Plaid 1955 has a question for you

"There once was a dark skinned man who had a questionable birth record, a father who wasn't around, and who was hated by the religious leaders of his day. I forgot his name though. Was it Jesus or Barack Obama?"

Brunette of the week

Angel Coulby.

Here's the 'How to' manual for aspiring 'crazy cat ladies'

Whiskeymarie, take note.

"Don't blame us," said the guilty men

When I first heard about this article in the Washington Post the other day, I honestly thought it was a joke. I really thought that someone from The Onion had snuck into the Post offices and wrote that article as a gag, a sick joke. But to my surprise and to my chagrin, it wasn't a joke, the CEO's of some of America's biggest corporations were blaming American workers for the lack of an economic recovery.

According to the article, "They (the CEO's) blame their profound caution on their view that U.S. consumers are destined to disappoint for many years. As a result, they say, the economy is unlikely to see the kind of almost unbroken prosperity of the quarter-century that preceded the financial crisis."

That's a pretty funny statement isn't it? They blame us for disappointing them. For not buying enough, for not making them enough profit, for not being good little consumers who spend all our money on their shit and services.

Hey, CEO's, here's a news flash for you: We can't buy the products you make or use the services you sell if we don't have any money. See guys, you cut wages, benefits, and jobs to make your bottom line look good to Wall Street. And as a result of all that your short term profits rose and your stock price went up but after you cut all the wages, benefits, and jobs, nobody had any money left to buy anything because they had no discretionary income left. The money they used to spend on buying the latest greatest version of microwaves, cars, or whatever now goes to paying the light bill, the mortgage, and it buys groceries and clothes.

In your mad rush to maximize shareholder value you minimized your employees. Instead of taking care of the people who built your companies and who paid your salaries, you shafted them by moving their jobs China. You downsized and laid off the very people you want to buy your products. If people have no money, no jobs, no hope because American business has failed them, how do you expect them to buy your products? If people can't make ends meet on what little you pay them now, how can they be expected to buy more so that your company can make more money?

Your economic model makes no sense. You can't ship jobs to China and expect the Americans you put on the unemployment line to buy what the Chinese now make. You can't expect people who have nothing to keep buying your products. You can't keep taking with both hands and then expect those you took everything from to bail you out.

So, the fact that we have no economic recovery in this country isn't our fault, we've done everything you've asked. We worked hard, we paid our taxes, we built your shit, we bought your shit, we took your shit, and then you shit on us. So dear CEO's, the fault lies with you and your insane expectations and your nonsensical Milton Friedman-esque economic theories. We here outside of your cloistered boardrooms did what we were supposed to do, and we continue to do it, it's you who changed the rules and rigged the game. It's you who lied and who disappoint. It's you who are causing economic stagnation. We swallowed your lies for years, especially the lie that if you work hard enough then great things will happen. The smart ones among us know that millions of us work hard every day and all they get for it is a handful of shit courtesy of your big heartless soulless corporate culture that prizes shareholder profits over everything.

I can't wait for this economic house of cards to collapse and for your corporations to fall. Maybe out of their ashes will rise a fairer system that puts people before profits and has safeguards against big corporate bullies. You know, kind of like the stuff the late great FDR enacted in the aftermath of the Great Depression. Mr. and Mrs. CEO, the time of reckoning will soon be at hand and it's not going to be pretty or fun for any of you.

Get a load of those melons!

Seriously, aren't those some damn fine melons?

Sudden service

Big burgers are coming your way.

It was a simpler time in 1955

I recently rescued about a dozen issues of mid '50's era Scientific American from the 'free table' outside a local used book store. I'll be posting stuff from them from time to time until I get sick of doing so. Here's a sampling from the July 1955 issue (and feel free to click on each picture to enlarge them so you can take in the full glory of the scans):

The gist of the cover story on coal was that we as a nation were under utilizing it. The article advocated for more mining and more research into what we could be doing with coal. In retrospect it's almost as if the coal industry wrote that article, and for all we know, they did. I love the cover illustration though.

The above ad is one of the creepier of the missile related ads that run throughout these issues. America was preoccupied with the Cold War and the defense industry wanted to make sure that everybody knew they were working hard to keep the godless Commies in their place.

We also wanted our allies to know how much they should be looking up to us.

Series of tubes.

Laura Palmer's dad, the early years.

Selections from the 'Book Shelf Of The Damned'

If the Communists say they only want to 'put it in to see if it fits', then go ahead, trust them!
My friend, my enemy, my Rorschach test.

If any god is your boyfriend, then you can be sure that relationship is a one way affair. So my advice is to break up with that deity ASAP and then get thee to a therapist's office.

1957 Presbyterians speak out on the issues of today

Frank Conversation shares his thoughts about Dr. Laura's recent flap, "If we've learned anything from all of this business it's that it's okay to say bad shit about minority groups as long as you're doing it to prove or making a philosophical point. So bearing that in mind, what do you call Samoan woman in a sleeping bag? A pig in a blanket! What? That wasn't racist because it's a well known fact that Samoans are fat fucks with no souls and they don't read this blog, never mind that that they don't read it because they're illiterate. See, the reason they can't read is because they're too busy eating and rutting like wild boars to take the time to read. Samoans, they're God's little joke. That backfired!"

Randy Cadamite wants to add this final bit to the Dr. Laura hubbub, "Serious, sober, God fearing Presbyterians shouldn't be listening to kike radio shows in the first place. It says so in Habakkuk or Romans or The Book of Mormon. Look it up."

The Committee on Missions voted to support all those Christians who want a second helping of pie.

"I'm Doug Hills and I'm all in favor marriage equality. For white heterosexuals that is."

"The rash of films about barren women in their 30's who want to have children out of wedlock is a sign that God has abandoned us. Or it's a sign that the people who run the film studios are cretinous hacks," said Reverend Kennedy McGowan.

"I'm so high right now, you would not believe it. I just smoked a joint of the shit that Elvis was smokin' when Hitler came and took his brain to the moon and it's got me so stoned that I'm hallucinating that Billy freakin' Graham is in this post with me."

"Freedom of religion means all people in the USA are free to pick and choose which ever Christian sect they feel most comfortable in. It says so in the Constitution that Sarah Palin follows, so it must be true. But just between me and you, can one of you come to my place and pull the plug on me or perhaps drop some poison in my tapioca pudding? Seriously, I've had enough. I just wanna die before my idiot evangelist son gets someone killed with his dumb ass interpretation of the Gospels. I'm sorry he survived child birth. I should have pulled out before I knocked up my wife with him and shot my load at our cat, Mr. Felix Whiskers. Oy vey, what a putz my kid is."

Rev. Gwen St. Kippers wants to remind you that man made climate change is the fault of Samoans who fart too much.

Damn fat farty Samoans, what won't they ruin next? And how long will the left wing media cover up their crimes against America?