Showing posts with label religious intolerance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religious intolerance. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

What are you using the Bible for these days?

"I'm using it as a food source. When I put shredded pages in with my casseroles, it helps me stretch my food dollar farther."

"I'm using it as a science textbook to disprove the theory of evolution. Oooo, hang on, I just had an idea for a play about a moody Dane who lives in a castle called Elsinore...get me a typewriter quick! Or better yet a laptop that's connected to the internet."

"I'm using it to justify my hatred of government that helps poor people. And for my all consuming hatred of blacks, gays, Jews, Muslims, people from Ottawa, Iowa, France, and for people who like crab Rangoon. Yeah, you betcha, don't cha know."

"I'm using it to scare the hell out of these kids who I will then take to my van one at a time in order to 'comfort' them. It's a trick I learned in that pedophile book I got off Amazon dot com the other day."

"I'm using it for self defense baby. All these crazy crackers runnin' around with guns will cap a motherfuckin' social justice Jesus if they can. I'm only coming back so many times before I say to hell with it you know. Y'all want to keep on killin' me, I'll eventually say "Fuck it," and I'll pick up and move to a nice little planet near the Horsehead Nebula where they appreciate a motherfuckin' savior.

Friday, October 8, 2010

The following things are now 'the Christian thing to do' according to the American Family Association


  • Not feeding the starving. (If they were really hungry they'd get up off their Satanic filled asses and go get something to eat.)
  • Stoning homosexuals and Chileans. (We all knew God hated fags, well, now he hates people from Chile as well. It's all in the book of Habakkuk. Look it up you damn dirty sinner.)
  • Denying sick children a hospital bed. (Health care reform is evil, Christians must step up and stop it where ever they can.)
  • Enslaving the poor. (Slavery is allowed in the Bible and the poor don't want to work, so we might as well enslave them. We can't enslave the rich because they give too much money to the church. Rich people, amen!)
  • Closing down public school free lunch programs. (God hates freeloaders who live to cadge free meals.)
  • Closing down public schools. (Compulsory education is an attempt by big government to brainwash our children into believing in evolution and forcing them to accept interracial marriage, the homosexual agenda, and the metric system.)
  • Mating with family members. (God only wants pure Christian people to mate and have children, and if the only place you can find a pure Christian is in your family, then have at it.)
  • Lying. (It's fine to lie to unbelievers. Who are they gonna get to go after you? The god they don't believe in? Hah!)
  • Stealing. (God wants you to have nice stuff and if you have to steal it from an atheist or a Presbyterian, then go for it.)
  • Cheating on your taxes. (God doesn't want your hard earned dollars to go to the bloated and wasteful government, he wants those dollars for himself and for his servants, especially the farting preacher, the gay anti gay preachers, Benny Hinn, and the Pope.)
  • Abortion. (God doesn't want liberals, Communists, Chileans, hippies, single women, people who watch MTV, and pointy headed intellectuals to have kids so it's okay to forcibly abort them if they get pregnant.)
Please stay tuned to this blog to find out what else is the new 'Christian thing' to do. And remember:

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

I'm good thanks

Christian fundamentalists are up in arms because some Muslim cleric went on national TV and said he wants to see sharia law in the US and that Muslims pray for the day when the Muslim flag flies over the White House.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong but don't Christians want their law to govern all the world? Don't they want their religion to take over the world?

What's the difference? Fundamentalists on both sides want their religion to prevail and to force everyone to bow down and worship the same fairy tale characters they believe in. Muslims want to win over the west, Christians want to win over the middle east.

So who wins? Who's right?

Nobody wins when whack job religious types want to force everyone to their way of thinking and believing. No one who says that their way is the only way is right.

The only winners will be those of us who reject religion or those who keep it in it's proper place, away from others. If you choose to believe in a religion, fine. Just don't try to make me believe in it and don't try to force others to believe in it. And above all, don't mix it with any political system. People should treat religion like sex, have it, enjoy it, even experiment with it, but do all that shit in private with consenting adults.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning for you

With all the hoopla surrounding the Christians burning Qurans (Korans) in Florida this coming Saturday let's not forget other things that Christians have burnt in the past.

They burnt a dissident group of Christians called the Cathars because they disagreed with how the Cathars interpreted the Bible and the teachings of Jesus. One anti Cathar Christian was quoted as saying, right before a church full of Cathars was set ablaze, "Kill them all, God will know his own."
Christians also burnt Joan of Arc, after they used her to rally other Christians in a war. I'm pretty sure they burnt her because she had a vagina.

Christians burnt Jews who would not convert during the Spanish Inquisition.
Christians in the KKK burn the cross to frighten and drive away black folks, Mexicans, gays, and anyone else they hate.

But let's not forget, Christians aren't the only ones who like to burn things.Jews like to burn bushes and then blame Yahweh for doing it.

They also like to bomb and set parts of Lebanon on fire. They do that about every other year or so.Muslims like to burn effigies of George W. Bush along with our flag.
And they like to burn Salman Rushdie in effigy as well.

And finally the Buddhists like to burn things too but mostly they burn themselves to protest senseless slaughter and warfare.
So let's stop acting all shocked and worried that Christians burning stuff again, after all, all the religions do it. (Which if you ask me, it's another reason why we need to leave religion behind. Those crazy religious bastards are going to burn us all down if we're not careful.)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Miss Plaid 1955 has a question for you

"There once was a dark skinned man who had a questionable birth record, a father who wasn't around, and who was hated by the religious leaders of his day. I forgot his name though. Was it Jesus or Barack Obama?"

Friday, July 17, 2009

'Sita Sings the Blues' is the coolest film you'll probably never see

An unholy trinity of corporate profiteers, copyright weasels, and intolerant religious whack jobs, although this time they are Hindu and not Christian, have all conspired to kill this film:
It's the animated story of the Hindu gods Rama and Sita told in song, by shadow puppets, and through a modern parallel story. It's a stunning animation achievement that should be celebrated and admired for years to come. Instead the film has been hit with religious nut bags who threaten to burn any theaters in India that show it and it's been stifled by exorbitant demands for money by the shadowy assholes who own the copyright to the Jazz age songs used in the film.

As usual, intolerant religious people show themselves to be haters of any kind of free expression, in this case they hate that a western woman had the gall to make a film they feel mocks the fairy tale they believe in. They feel it's not respectful of their fairy tale and they want it quashed and some have claimed they'll use violence to quash it. It's the one thing intolerant Christians and Hindus can agree on, they both hate free expression about their chosen fairy tales.

When Nina Paley set out making this fine stunning film the music she chose was in the public domain, which means she could use it in her film and pay nothing and none to do. By the time she finished it however the law had changed and someone bought the copyright to the music. They demanded Ms. Paley pay through the nose for the rights to the Jazz age songs used in the movie. Since she had no distributor, and could not get one until she had obtained the rights to use the songs in her movie, she was screwed.

But Ms. Paley found a loophole, she decided to release the film with Creative Commons license, which means she's giving it away for free. If you like the film you can contact her and pay her whatever you like. Since it's released with a CC license anyone can remix it, add or subtract to it, or do what one likes with it, with the proviso that after you finish remixing or doing what you like to it your finished product must also be released with a CC license.

There's more about the film on Wikipedia and you can read all about it by clicking here.

Don't look for this film in your local Blockbuster or on Netflix, it's not going to be there due to the corporate weasels who stabbed Ms. Paley in the back. However it can be found online and other places if you're willing to look. And I highly recommend you do seek it out and watch it because it's by turns funny, beautiful, and astonishing. I really can't say enough good things about this film.