Thursday, August 19, 2010

1957 Presbyterians speak out on the issues of today

Frank Conversation shares his thoughts about Dr. Laura's recent flap, "If we've learned anything from all of this business it's that it's okay to say bad shit about minority groups as long as you're doing it to prove or making a philosophical point. So bearing that in mind, what do you call Samoan woman in a sleeping bag? A pig in a blanket! What? That wasn't racist because it's a well known fact that Samoans are fat fucks with no souls and they don't read this blog, never mind that that they don't read it because they're illiterate. See, the reason they can't read is because they're too busy eating and rutting like wild boars to take the time to read. Samoans, they're God's little joke. That backfired!"

Randy Cadamite wants to add this final bit to the Dr. Laura hubbub, "Serious, sober, God fearing Presbyterians shouldn't be listening to kike radio shows in the first place. It says so in Habakkuk or Romans or The Book of Mormon. Look it up."

The Committee on Missions voted to support all those Christians who want a second helping of pie.

"I'm Doug Hills and I'm all in favor marriage equality. For white heterosexuals that is."

"The rash of films about barren women in their 30's who want to have children out of wedlock is a sign that God has abandoned us. Or it's a sign that the people who run the film studios are cretinous hacks," said Reverend Kennedy McGowan.

"I'm so high right now, you would not believe it. I just smoked a joint of the shit that Elvis was smokin' when Hitler came and took his brain to the moon and it's got me so stoned that I'm hallucinating that Billy freakin' Graham is in this post with me."

"Freedom of religion means all people in the USA are free to pick and choose which ever Christian sect they feel most comfortable in. It says so in the Constitution that Sarah Palin follows, so it must be true. But just between me and you, can one of you come to my place and pull the plug on me or perhaps drop some poison in my tapioca pudding? Seriously, I've had enough. I just wanna die before my idiot evangelist son gets someone killed with his dumb ass interpretation of the Gospels. I'm sorry he survived child birth. I should have pulled out before I knocked up my wife with him and shot my load at our cat, Mr. Felix Whiskers. Oy vey, what a putz my kid is."

Rev. Gwen St. Kippers wants to remind you that man made climate change is the fault of Samoans who fart too much.

Damn fat farty Samoans, what won't they ruin next? And how long will the left wing media cover up their crimes against America?


PENolan said...

More pie!

Mnmom said...

You are having way too much fun with that book! Please don't stop.

Professor Chaos said...

Oh my God, I can't stop laughing about "fat, farty Samoans!" I don't know why, but that's freaking hilarious!