Waiting

This tiny little man is my Congressman:
His name is David Davis. He's a rock ribbed conservative hard right wing Republican. He's so far right he makes Dick Cheney look like a damn dirty hippie.

I recently sent him an email asking him to introduce legislation that would strip all contractors doing business in Iraq on behalf of the US government of any and all immunity from prosecution. I asked him to do this so that the people in Blackwater and KBR who are murdering innocent Iraqis and raping their female co workers will be brought to justice. I also asked that after he introduced such legislation that he then resign so that his seat can be taken over by a person who will do the people's business in Washington DC and not be a tool of the multi national corporations.

It's been over a month since I asked him to do these two small things for me. He has done neither and he's not even bothered to write me a letter back telling me why he refuses to do what I asked. It's down right rude of him not to at least reply to me, don't you think?

Just so we're clear...

These Cretans live and work here: But these two cretins work here: Everybody clear on that now?

Good.

(This post is in honor of my friend Joseph F. who is the smartest man in the world. Joseph was born and raised in Crete, but luckily enough for us he lives in the USA now.)

And now some former and currently disgraced members of Congress talk about the war

Rep. Tom Delay (ousted from Congress due to the fall out of the Abramoff scandal and for being an asshole): "We've got to stay the course in Iraq for one reason and one reason only, the baby Jesus told me we had to. And I do everything the baby Jesus says to do, I am a model Christian."

Rep. Bob Ney (ousted from Congress in the wake of the Abramoff scandal and for being a sloppy drunk): "Holy shit, are we still at war? I could have sworn that my bartender told me we won that damn thing a few years ago."

Rep. Mark Foley (ousted from Congress in the wake of a sex scandal involving underage boys and for being a hypocrite): "Does anyone know how I can get in touch with Michael Jackson? He seems like a nice guy with a lot of young friends. I like young mens, oops, I mean young friends. Yeah, that's it young friends."

Former Speaker of the House rep. Jim Wright (ousted from Congress from influence peddling and being a cranky Texan): "I've got a secret plan to end the war in this purse thingy, you'll get it only when I get the sweet release of death. O ye dark gods that bore me, why am I still alive? Come down Baal and take your servant's life, I beg you O dark one."

Rep. Duke Cunningham (ousted from Congress due to bribery charges, influence peddling, and being a nuisance): "Young people today need to go and fight for my freedom. Hahahaha, I'm kidding. I'm not getting my freedom back for another year or so, so I could care less what happens in Iraq."

Sen. Larry Craig (needs to be ousted from Congress for being a lying sack of hypocritical shit and for being a gutless liar): "I need to go to the restroom. Maybe Mr. Foley would like to accompany me. Nudge nudge wink wink."

Rep. Newt Gingrich (ousted from Congress due to financial irregularities and for poking Hasidic Jews with sticks): "The war must continue at all costs! KBR, Blackwater, and Halliburton have not made enough money yet! Stop whining America and give us your minority sons and daughters so that they may die on the battlefield so that we can live our lavish planet ruining lifestyles! Zeig heil ya'll."

Former Sen. Bob Packwood (ousted from Congress for sexually harassing any female who had a pulse and who was in his field of vision): "I have a plan for subduing Barbara. First I get her drunk, then I grope her, then I make her take her clothes off, then I stick her head in a corner and I fu.... What's that? Basra? Not Barbara? Oh, in that case I have no clue and I never ever stuck a woman by the name of Barbara's head in a corner while I tried to frak some sense into her."

Former Speaker of the House Rep. Dan Rostenkowski (ousted from Congress for check kiting and for eating too much at the House of Representatives all you can eat pizza, salad, and dessert bar): "Woo hoo, I have no idea what I ate that made that fart smell so bad but I'm telling you it stinks worse than Chris Matthews breath after he got done servicing the late Tip O'Neil. Say, can you loan me five bucks? I'd like to get some lotto tickets and a bottle of cheap wine."

Sen. David Vitter (should be ousted from Congress for lying about patronizing a hooker and for being a jack ass): "The longer we can stay in session and debate the war the longer I can avoid my wife and this whole hooker scandal. I'm in deep shit either way I go, my wife hates me and this hooker trial is only going to make things worse at home for me. So please for the love of all things holy, let's just focus more on the war and less on where I paid to stick my dick."

MInd your own business

Human rights groups across the world have admonished Kenyan authorities for being too ruthless in trying to quell protests in the wake of the disputed Presidential election. They've specifically asked the Kenyan police to stop shooting unarmed protesters.

Kenyan police replied, "Come to Nairobi and say that shit, why don't you."

In other news four new Super Wal-Marts and three hundred new Starbucks opened in Kenya since the start of the rioting. The country should be safe for all corporations soon.

Chris Dodd is Nuckin' Futs

Millions of oppressed people who live under dictatorial regimes like those currently in power in Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, and Egypt got some bad news tonight from Chris Dodd (D-CT), and the D in his case stands for Douchebag. In the Democratic party debate in Las Vegas Dodd claimed that actual democracy where people vote is good for us but not good for people in the Middle East. The old idiot claims, and I got to agree with him, that if people in the Muslim dominated countries were allowed true democracy then they would vote for "extremist" Muslim political parties to lead them.


Pardon me Senator Dodd, but you need to realize that oppressed people will, if given the chance in a free and fair election, vote out their oppressors and they will vote in whoever is the polar opposite of whoever was oppressing them. You know kind of like what happened when the Palestinians when given a chance voted for Hamas, a political party that promised to end the years of oppression the people had been under. And kind of like what happened in the USA in 2006 when we thought we were voting in a party that was going to end the years of Republican abuse, but who instead just keep on screwing us over by rolling over for Bush and his toadies.

It makes me sick to think that Dodd wants to be the nominee of the party of JFK and FDR and LBJ and Woodrow Wilson and Shirley Chisholm and of millions of men and women who support the spread of real democracy at home and abroad. It makes me even sicker to think of him taking the oath of office and becoming our next President. Thank goodness he, like his twin brother Joe "I never net a corporate donation I didn't like" Biden, doesn't have a hope in hell of being the nominee.

Dodd is another career politician who has been corrupted by his years and years in the Washington DC fishbowl. It takes a hell of a lot of nerve and gall to say that democracy is fine for us but not for anyone who votes in people who we don't like. Holy shit, you know who that sounds like? The fucking crook he wants to replace. I'd be willing to bet that if by some hellish miracle that Dodd was elected President that he'd just go ahead and keep Condi on as Sec. of State because that shit he said tonight sounds exactly like what she'd say.


Personally I welcome free and fair election everywhere in the world. I'd welcome the day when people in Jordan or Egypt or Saudi Arabia voted the Muslim Brotherhood into office, because if that happened then the assholes in DC would have to learn to deal with people from the Middle East as equals and not as underlings who are only fit to give us their oil so we can have cheap gas. Too bad there isn't a recall procedure whereby people can get rid of idiotic US Senators because if there was, I'd move to CT tomorrow and lead the fight to get that old fart removed from office. And then I'd go to CA and help them get rid of that traitor Diane Feinstein.