Life lessons for idiots

I had an idiot on Facebook tell me our demonstration in support of teachers, unions, and working people was 'slacktivist crap.' He told me he preferred direct action to 'slacktivism.'

I pointed out that pretending to fight child abuse by changing ones Facebook profile picture to a cartoon character from your childhood was an example of slacktivism. And that taking to the streets to show support for unions and working people was an example of direct action in action.

He didn't appreciate me educating him on the difference between direct action and slacktivism, so he called me a fat coward and said he wished I would die. Young people, some of them are just too ungrateful to be believed.

Oscar wrap up

• You'd think after 82 tries they'd finally get it right. But no, you'd be wrong. WORST OSCARS EVER.
• James Franco is a fine actor. However, he's an awful host. He had all the stage presence and charisma of a block of wood.
  
• Poor Anne Hathaway. She had to work twice as hard as normal to make up for her lackluster co-host and as a result she came off as needy and goofy.
• Boy, Michael Douglas looks like hell these days. What? That was his dad? Boy, Kirk Douglas looks like hell these days. I hope they got him back into his cryogenic chamber before he thawed out all the way. They'll get him out of that chamber again just as soon as a cure for annoying old man syndrome is found.
• Melissa Leo wins an Oscar, it's about god damned time. She deserved one for Frozen River and for what ever she does next.
• I missed about an hour and a half of the show because I wanted to watch something good. I turned it over to PBS and caught the last installment of Any Human Heart, and boy was I glad I did. To make up not commenting on what I didn't see during that hour and a half, here's some pictures of my pick for Best Actress, Jennifer Lawrence:

• Why do they feel the need to kiss Steve Spielberg's ass every year? He makes sappy mediocre films, get over him Hollywood, the rest of us have.
  
• Every time Ann Hathaway came out in a new dress I wondered if they were playing a practical joke on her and or us. They got progressively worse as the night went on. I'm pretty sure that at one point she was wearing the shower curtain from some college kid's apartment.
• They must really hate all those people who died this past year. What else could be the reason they got Celine Dion to sing during the death montage?
• That singer from Florence and the Machine, is English her first language? Or does she speak Mumbles?
• Gwyneth Paltrow singing at the Oscars isn't the major crime against all that we hold holy, although it's pretty fucking bad. No, the most serious offense here is that a song from her abortion of a country music film was nominated in the first place.
• Is there anything more cringe worthy than watching Gwyneth Paltrow sing? Yes! Those stupid 'off the cuff' comments they made Jeff Bridges and Sandra Bullock do when they introduced the Best Actress and Best Actor nominees are more cringe worthy than watching Paltrow 'sing.'
  
• Best acting job of the night was when Anne Hathaway told James Franco he was doing a great job as Oscar host. She deserved an Oscar for saying that without breaking out into convulsions and red blotchy hives.
• I've got an idea, let's get Kirk Douglas to host the show next year. He couldn't be any worse than James Franco was.
  
• Disease of the week films about a member of the British royal family are a lock to win Best Picture. Next year the winner will be a movie about how Prince Charles triumphed over his inbreeding to have his first wife killed so he could shag a department store mannequin for the rest of his days.

"Union forever, defending our rights. Down with the blackleg, all workers unite!"

This past Thursday around 3:00 PM I posted a note on Facebook to see if anyone was interested in having a pro teacher, pro union, pro working people demonstration here in Johnson City on Saturday afternoon. I wanted to do this to show people around here that not all of us support the union busting teabaggers who hate government and working people. I also wanted to do it to show support for and to build on the the great stuff the citizens of Wisconsin are doing in Madison. A few minutes after I posted the note a bunch of my friends said they'd be willing to hit the streets with me and would I make a Facebook event to be shared with their friends, so I did that as well.

Much to my astonishment people started signing up left and right for the demonstration. I figured we'd get maybe 30 people, by Friday afternoon we were over 50. I was over the moon, because you see, this area I live in is one of the most politically conservative areas of the country and the media around here likes to only give the side of the majority in all things so only the side of the conservatives gets out there and people think that that's all there is in this area.

So, happy with the thought of 50 people showing up I took off Saturday morning to make my way to the protest site. Then something miraculous happened. Something amazing. Something so fucking unbelievable, that I still have a hard time believing it. When I got out of the car and got my signs out, there were already people there. The demonstration started at noon and by the time 12:30 rolled around we had over a hundred people show up to support our cause. By the time the clock hit 1:00 PM, we were over 150 strong. By the time all was said and done, we had over 200 people show up to support unions, working people, and our beleaguered teaching professionals. 200 people in an area that is supposedly only amenable to conservative causes. Over 200 people in an area that would not elect Jesus Christ to office if he ran on the Democratic party ticket.

I was, and still am amazed. And I am humbled and gratified by the support we got, not only from the folks who stood out with signs and those who waved and held flags, but also by those who showed their support when driving by.

Our teachers here are facing the same kind of union busting thuggery as those in Wisconsin are. And our legislature, who's Republican members will only listen to those who voted for them, wants to do away with the requirement that teachers in this state be licensed, which is a clear ploy to pack the schools with their friends and cronies who will do the bidding of the teabaggers who want to whitewash history, destroy the move to teach critical thinking, and to make intelligent design dominant over evolution in the science classrooms. Teachers, who make so little, are being beaten up by people who refuse to tax the wealthy or big business to pay for our schools. Politicians in TN use teachers and unions as a punching bag and we're fucking tired of it. So our demonstration yesterday was our way of telling them that we're not going to stand for it anymore.

We're going to fight back. When Wal Mart gets tax breaks and our teachers get their right to collectively bargain taken away from them, then we say we've had enough. When the rich get obscenely richer and our kids get less and less because teachers get less and less, then it's time to make a change. This is our moment, our line in the sand. We choose our battle here. We are now in the fight to save what's left of the middle class, to fight for the working poor. And that's what today's demonstration was about.

Here' some photos I took at our demonstration, which by the was was on the front page of Raw Story (Warning, the TV report on our demonstration in that link is pretty shitty. In fact, all the TV coverage of our demonstration was crap, they all tried to make it look like the event was a protest, it wasn't it was in support of not in protest of teachers and unions. They tried to make it seem the teabaggers who showed up to protest us were as numerous as us, they were not, we had over 200, they had a dozen at best. The tried to make the facts fit their pre conceived corporate story line and therefore their reports sucked.):

This gal was one of the first people at the demonstration and she stayed through the whole thing.

My friend and fellow blogger Rev. John Shuck was at our rabble rousing demonstration. He was our token heretic.

This as my friend Celeste's first demonstration!

My young friend and neighbor K was the youth MVP of the day because he brought his homemade sign and two boxes of Girl Scout cookies.

Recognize this hottie? It's my friend Terri who's also in my graphic novel Hip Deep, Mountain High.

Drink in the cleverness.

Our side had the best looking gals.

Did I mention we had a bunch of great looking gals on our side? I did? Oh, okay then...

This fella's sign was sad because it was true.

We had our share of slackers in our group too. This young boy ate a doughnut while his sister pranced around barefoot. Damn socialists...

Here's a shot of the dozen or so teabaggers who showed up to show how much they hated teachers, unions, the USA, apple pie, your mom, and the flag.

My favorite sign of the day.

Another great sign held by another great demonstrator.

Post modern humor, it's your friend.

We took a page right out of the right wing's playbook by playing the religion card,

wrapping ourselves in the flag,

and using child labor to drive home our point.

All in all, our demonstration was a huge success and even if I have to say it, I'm now two for two on putting together well attended progressive/liberal demonstrations because I was after all on the team who organized the biggest anti war protest this area had seen in decades. So, I'm just putting this out there, don't fuck with me or I'll whip up a protest on your ass and you'll never be the same after me and my minions get done with you.

Non violent constructive demonstrations, hell yeah.

You can see all the photos I took of the demonstration by clicking here.

Who aren't you mister?

Duly noted sir.

Freedom of speech is useless if we don't use it

I've organized a impromptu grass roots pro working people/pro teacher demonstration here in Johnson City for tomorrow afternoon. I made the following signs to use there:

This is the one I'll be carrying.

I made these two for other people to use if they showed up without a sign.

A reporter from our local corporate owned conservative news rag called me up and practically accused me of being a union stooge. He had a hard time believing that a private citizen like me would organize a pro union/pro worker demonstration to show our support for working people.

If you're in the area we'll be demonstrating in front of First Tennessee Bank on North Roan Street from noon to 2:00 PM. Come on out and use your freedom of speech to support workers and labor!

Hey, anybody remember this TV show from the mid '90's?

Yeah, me neither.

Love!

Quick question

Christians, homophobes, right wingers, and conservative political pundits are outraged over Obama's refusal to further defend DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act). They shout that he's the president and that he has to enforce all the laws, not just the ones he agrees with. My question is this, why didn't they say the same thing when Bush refused to enforce clean air laws?
Where was the outrage when Bush refused to enforce the provisions of the endangered species act?

Where was the outrage then?

Attention local to me peeps!

We're going to be holding a pro teacher/pro union/pro working people demonstration this Saturday from noon to 2:00 PM. It will be held on the public sidewalk in front of First Tennessee bank at 1919 North Roan Street. Please bring pro teacher, pro union, pro labor, pro working people signs and let's show our friends and neighbors in east Tennessee that we support public employees and working people.

A word of warning though, do not park in the First Tennessee parking lot or they might call the cops to have you towed. Also do not walk or set anything on First Tennessee property or they will call the cops. Park in the huge parking lot next to First Tennessee and please confine the demonstration to the public sidewalk. We want a big turnout for this non violent protest that is in support of working people.

Bring your friends, neighbors, and family, let's show the world not all of us in east Tennessee are right wing teabaggers!

This one time at band camp...

Okay, so I never went to band camp but I am loving the hell out of the book Camp Camp, which I bought a week or so ago for a buck. It's a loose collections of photos and former campers remembrances of camp. Most of the campers went to fancy camps in the northeast where they stayed for over a month and most of the campers interviewed for this book went to camp during the 1980's and early '90's, which was well after my camp years. But the thing about sleep away camp is that it's universal, those who went through it can smile and nod and appreciate the reminiscences of others because we all went through pretty much the same thing no matter if the camp we went to was for Methodist kids, Jewish kids, or what have you. And of course as I read this book I think back on my own camp experiences.

When I was in 8th grade I took Agriculture in school and since I took Ag, I was automatically enrolled in FFA, that's Future Farmers of America for those of you out of the loop. The only reason I took Ag was I was drunk with the power to finally choose my own classes and I chose it because it was a choice that I knew would make people scratch their heads and wonder what was wrong with me.

Anyhoo, after a year of barely understanding my teachers accent (I was still new to the south back then and I had a hard time understanding the slurred slow accents I was hearing), making wooden toolboxes, learning about tractors, and taking field trips to the stock yard to see cattle auctions I was finally rewarded for my troubles with a trip to FFA camp.

FFA camp was a week long affair and it was held in Virgina Beach, VA. It was the closest I would get to the Atlantic ocean for the first time in my life but oddly enough, they would not let us go to the beach. However, we did get to go to Busch Gardens which was totally cool even though I could not take advantage of the free beer they gave out on the tour of the brewery. I recall playing softball and being made captain of the team by some fucking smart ass hippie who thought he was being funny by making the skinny pale blonde kid with huge black horn rimmed glasses team captain. We also got to see some schlocky outdoor historical drama that I remember hating.

The other thing I hated about FFA camp was that I ran out of spending money on the last day. So it looked like I was not going to be able to eat anything on the long ride home because the plan was to stop and eat fast food on our 8 hour ride west back to Lee county. It was decided that our teacher and chaperon, a slack jawed hick named Cecil Clendenon, would loan me $10 so I could eat and that I would pay him back as soon as possible. Which was fine except that I had no way to pay him back because I had no job and was dependent on my crazy aunt and sorry ass uncle for cash. When he loaned me the ten bucks Clendenon told me that I would not be allowed to graduate from high school until I paid him back, which suited me fine since that gave me four years to pay his dumb ass back. He reminded me once again before I got off the bus to go home and he kept reminding me for months and months once school started back again that fall. He'd say something about that ten bucks every time I saw him in the hall. I finally paid him back after I got paid a pittance for helping someone put up hay. I saw him in the hall and as soon as he opened his yap to tell me he'd make sure I didn't graduate until I paid him back, I tossed ten one dollar bills at his feet and I said, "There you go, now we're even. I guess this means I'll get to graduate in three years, huh." We never spoke another word to one another ever again.

The above building is the kitchen/mess hall at the United Methodist Youth camp in Fort Blackmore, VA. I did a couple of summers there while in middle school. It wasn't bad except for the fact that I had to attend at the same time as my awful cousins did. And to make matters even worse, one year Cousin Smart Ass was a counselor and I was assigned to be in his group.

We did things like arts and crafts, play sports, listen to the fairy tales about Jesus and God, ate shitty food, went swimming, broke into small groups and got told how much Jesus loved us, and were forced to sing and pray around campfires.

Of course what we really did was ogle the girls, make rude jokes, accuse other male campers of being gay, tried to avoid being picked on, played pranks on each other, and come up with rude nicknames for the emotionally stunted adults who ran the place. I remember one horrible woman who had religion stuck so far up her ass it came out her mouth. She was married to some developmentally disabled man and we were all supposed to fawn over how wonderful and great she was for marrying a guy who drooled and had the social skills of a ten year old. She wore far too much make up, laughed too loud, sang too loud, loved Jesus a little too much, and she generally annoyed all us adolescent kids who wanted nothing more than to be left alone so we could figure out what was happening to our bodies as puberty struck us upside the heads. We all banded together as one in our hatred of this woman and we dubbed her Liver Lips, although I'm pretty sure I was the only one who had the guts to call her that to her face. And I recall she slapped me across my face for calling her that, in those days one could do that sort of thing and not worry about getting sued.

My crowning achievement, other than getting slapped by that horrid painted Amazon, was winning third place in the diving competition. My cousins snickered as I took to the diving board and I recall Cousin Psycho telling the preachers hot daughter, Karen Kirk, that I would surely suck at diving because I had a smaller penis than he did, which creeped me out because that meant he was looking at my young dick when we changed out of our bathing suits after swimming. I put his crazy comments out of my mind and I put all my energy and focus into that dive and lo and behold when I came up for air after I did it, other campers applauded me. I beamed when it was announced I finished third and Cousin Psycho didn't win anything. He glared at me the rest of the night and when it was lights out in the cabin later he was telling anyone who would listen to him that I was gay and a fruit for making a such a good dive.

The best times at camp were the times where my cousins weren't around and I could just be myself. I got to do that at yearbook camp and MYF (Methodist Youth Fellowship) camp, both of which were held on the campus of Emory & Henry College in Emory, VA.

MYF camp was different from the camp at Fort Blackmore in that only teens in high school got to go to MYF camp. And for some reason I got to go to MYF camp alone for two years straight, which suited me just fine.

One summer I went was also the summer I got to go to the UN in NYC. MYF camp came after the NYC trip and while at MYF camp I got not one but two letters from girls I had spent time with on the NYC trip. They were two girls from Maine who I had befriended and both sent me photos of themselves in their letters. Once word got out that I, a 98 pound weakling, a pale smart ass with huge black horned rimmed glasses had gotten not one but two letters from two super cute chicks from out of state, I became a rock star to those other kids. They laughed harder at my jokes, saved seats for me in the dining hall, and some actually looked up to me. It was mind blowing because in reality I was actually shy around girls and was probably the biggest geek in that camp.

It was in MYF camp that I met my once and future friend Mullins. He was a loud mouthed braggy kid with a a good right arm, while his left arm was a stub. It was half the size of his right arm and it had a few deformed fingers on the end of it. For some reason, the second we saw each other we hit it off. While playing cards one day during a break from having to count our blessings that we were living in the USA where we were free to praise Jesus all the live long day, I put on one of those Aussie cowboy hats that belonged to another kid. Mullins took one look at me in that hat and he said, "You look like a god damn prairie dog in that stupid hat." Everybody in the room cracked up and for the rest of the week everybody, even the girls and camp counselors, called me 'Prairie Dog.'

Flash forward to a couple of years later to when I got to King College. Imagine my shock when I run into my old MYF camp buddy Mullins. Of course we remembered each other and of course he told everyone to call me 'Prairie Dog.' King was a small school back then, it's grown considerably since I left, and my nickname spread like wildfire. I'd be willing to be there are people I went to college with who have no recollection of my real name but who would instantly remember me if you told them my nickname.

Yearbook camp was also held at Emory & Henry and I got to go for two years straight. The first year I learned the nuts and bolts of making a yearbook and I had some fun as well. The second year was much different because in between those years I had discovered that I liked to smoke pot and drink beer. I made the mistake of taking a bag of weed with me to camp and I befriended a kid from Big Stone Gap, another little town in SW VA, and he and I got stoned a lot together. Basically, he and I made it our mission to ditch the work and to get stoned as much as possible. I'm sure we both showed up at work session reeking of pot but somehow we never got caught, although I do remember hearing whispers saying that I was some kind of drug dealer/superduper pothead.

There was another camp I went to in the late '70's, I'm not sure what the real name of it was, we always called it Horse Hollow Camp. It was a religious camp run by a flock of Minnesotans who had made their way south one day when the snow melted. They brought with them a strange hybrid Pentecostal/evangelical/Lutheran faith and they did their best to ram it down our young throats.

These odd Minnesotans would rouse us at dawn, march us into the dining hall, feed us, make us clean up en mass, and then they marched us into the tiny church on the camp property. They'd harangue us all morning with their Christian fairy tales, stories about how persecuted Christians were, how the Soviet Union was the devil, how we needed to go to places like Guatemala, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, and the Ukraine and win souls to Jesus. After lunch we were allowed to play sports like tetherball, softball, basketball, and whatever other kind ball sport they could think of. Then after supper it was back to church so we could hear more about how much the Lord loved us but only when we obeyed him. They'd bring in preachers who would work themselves into a frenzy of salvation and the weak kids would start crying, speaking in gibberish, which led them to turn their lives over to Jesus. The devout girls would sit and dream of dating Jesus but if you broke one off from the herd she might let you feel her boob in the woods or if you got really lucky, she might give you a hand job if you promised to turn your life over to Jesus at the next altar call.

The last night at Horse Hollow Camp was the big night of the week. It was the big bonfire, or as they called it, the Fagot Fire Night. Everyone was encouraged to toss a fagot, a small log, onto the bonfire and to give your testimony as you did it. The hope was as the fire grew, the lives dedicated to Christ would grow as well. For me, it was the most embarrassing night of the week. And I wasn't embarrassed for me because there was no way in hell I was going to toss a log on that fire or stand up and claim that I was giving my life to Christ, I was embarrassed for those who did stand up and do that shit. I hated the ostentatious shows of piety and the holy roller crap, but I didn't mind the stolen kisses or the odd girl grope.

This is where you come in

They've seen the union and the damage done

Ordinary citizens of the USA speak out about how unions have damaged their lives:

"When I joined the pipe fitters union I totally thought 'pipe fitting' had something to do with kinky sex. And when I got busted for soliciting boy prostitutes, they wouldn't come to my defense and now I have to ionize my penis several times a day and I have to live in a trailer park full of old people. Fuck unions!"

"Ever since my daddy was forced to join the union he works more than he used to and the allowance I used to get now goes to pay his union dues. If there was no union he'd be home more and I'd have more money to buy crystal meth with. Union, my ass."

"My union makes me keep my rack covered at all times, which is a shame because I got a nice rack. Gravity hasn't hit me too bad as of yet, if you catch my drift."

"I wanted to go digital but my union wouldn't let me."

"When those Commie unions took over my factories and made me give my workers things like lunch breaks and safety equipment, my profits have tumbled. I used to make 5.4 million dollars in profit, now I have to scrape by on 5.3 million. The other billionaires laugh at me."

"I like to shoot things and I like eggs. That's all I got to say."

"Woof."

"I wait here day after day for Jesus Christ to swoop down and form a sexual union with me. I dream of making the beast with two backs with my savior. Wait, shit, did I just say that out loud?"

A lightening fast movie review

Kevin Kline and Paul Dano sure are terrific as eccentric men who don't quite fit in in this day and age. They're sweetly sad and poignant as a couple of guys who want nothing more than to be gentlemen. John C. Reilly is oddly effecting in his role as the downstairs neighbor and Patti D'Arbanville turns in a great cameo as a woman who Dano's character seeks out for comfort.

I highly recommend this film.

Becky was delighted...

...that her parents would soon be eating her poison filled meatballs. They had to be made to pay for foisting that hair cut on her.

If Boner is correct...

...and we really are, as a country, broke, then I suggest we get the hell out of Iraq, Afghanistan, Germany, Korea, Bahrain, Israel, and all those other countries. We don't need to be spending money we don't have protecting people that don't need or want us there in the first place. Oh, and we also should totally raise taxes on people making over $250,000 a year and big business. I'm fairly certain most big oil and coal companies don't pay any taxes at all so we should totally tax them.

With friends like these, Jesus doesn't need any more enemies

I flipped past Fox Propaganda channel and I heard Gomer Huckabee deriding public employees in Wisconsin. He claimed that for every dollar a Wisconsin teacher puts in their retirement account, the state of Wisconsin must pay in fifty seven. Now if that were true, teachers would be flocking to Wisconsin and or the state would have gone bankrupt many years ago.

So, obviously the man is lying. And you'd think he'd know better than to lie, after all he used to be a preacher and I'm pretty sure his god told him, "Thou shall not bear false witness." But I could be wrong, it's been a long time since I read the bible Gomer claims to believe in.

Or maybe he's just another lying sack of Republican shit.

Yeah, that's probably it.

God hates labor unions

This one goes out to all my Doctor Who peeps the world over

New Who is coming soon!

And on the eighth day God created nine person quartets

Nine people does not a quartet make, no matter what your book of fairy tales says.

Mega score!

I got this pristine copy of this 1959 cookbook today in an antique store. It's chock full of cool little illustrations and photos of culinary horror. And of course it's full of horrid fatty recipes. Woot!

Out of the mouth of a babe, the truth about the protests in Wisconsin

This gal is the daughter of my friends Ed and Suzy. She's amazing.

The thing I love most about being a self taught artist is...

Forest (blue on gold)

Forest (blue on white)

Forest (black and orange on white)

...the only person I have to please is myself.

I make what I like and if I don't like what I make, then I toss it and make something else.

How I'm feeling today

Fight the power!
Make those who have more pay more!
Don't believe the hype. The real reasons we're in this totally made up 'fiscal crisis' is because we cut taxes and we're fighting two coffer draining wars for oil/empire.

End the war, bring our troops home, raise taxes on the wealthy and business. Stop the war on working people. Get corporate money out of our political system. And fire every incumbent except for Dennis Kucinich and Bernie Saunders.