Wednesday, February 23, 2011

They've seen the union and the damage done

Ordinary citizens of the USA speak out about how unions have damaged their lives:

"When I joined the pipe fitters union I totally thought 'pipe fitting' had something to do with kinky sex. And when I got busted for soliciting boy prostitutes, they wouldn't come to my defense and now I have to ionize my penis several times a day and I have to live in a trailer park full of old people. Fuck unions!"

"Ever since my daddy was forced to join the union he works more than he used to and the allowance I used to get now goes to pay his union dues. If there was no union he'd be home more and I'd have more money to buy crystal meth with. Union, my ass."

"My union makes me keep my rack covered at all times, which is a shame because I got a nice rack. Gravity hasn't hit me too bad as of yet, if you catch my drift."

"I wanted to go digital but my union wouldn't let me."

"When those Commie unions took over my factories and made me give my workers things like lunch breaks and safety equipment, my profits have tumbled. I used to make 5.4 million dollars in profit, now I have to scrape by on 5.3 million. The other billionaires laugh at me."
"I like to shoot things and I like eggs. That's all I got to say."

"Woof."

"I wait here day after day for Jesus Christ to swoop down and form a sexual union with me. I dream of making the beast with two backs with my savior. Wait, shit, did I just say that out loud?"

3 comments:

Professor Chaos said...

"woof!" awesome! I laughed out loud.

Mnmom said...

Poor Tex McBillionaire. I should be ashamed of myself for cutting into his meager profits.

You are the KING my friend.

pureklass said...

Not that there could possibly be any correlation between decline in unions and decline in wages. Nah. Because unions are obviously an across-the-board evil that forces rights and privileges on unwilling workers.