Hahahahahaha...

One of the lying ass Christian right wingers I wrote about here is finally getting his comeuppance.  He's been exposed as a liar and a fraud. Now, if only the media wold go after the other lying liars.

Religious hypocrisy round up

• Rick Santorum said that Obama's theology wasn't a real theology, meaning of course that Rick thinks Obama isn't a real Christian because he isn't an intolerant gay hating women fearing Catholic. Lil' Ricky thinks that Protestants aren't real Christians as well, he said so in a speech. To these religious nut jobs if you're not exactly like them then you're not a Christian at all, which then means they can dismiss, marginalize, and ultimately do violence towards you, all in the name of getting you saved so you can be like them.
• Westboro Baptist can't even be bothered to protest at funerals any more. They photoshopped themselves into the site where Whitney Houston's funeral was being held. Look, if the usual suspects who are perpetually outraged over everything can't get off their asses to make all Christians look bad, then please corporate media, stop giving hateful pricks like them so much attention.
  
• It's a shame tens of Catholics are outraged over Catholic institutions that get federal money having to provide access to birth control but they're silent about their church's commitment to universal health care for all, ending war, and treating the poor with dignity. Once again the rights of fetuses who might exist trump those of people who are already born.
  

Riddle me this...

How can someone who hates poor people, wants to cut the minimum wage, and who wants to give wealthy people more tax cuts claim she knows what her god is thinking when he 'sends' natural disasters? If Michele Bachmann really truly believes that her Bible contains the absolute unvarnished word of her god, then did she miss the part about rich people not getting into heaven? Jesus said that it will be easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than it will be for a rich person to enter into the kingdom of heaven. So if she missed an important passage like that, how can she claim that the hurricane and the earthquake her god 'sent' is an anti spending message?

I used to be a believer in the cult of Christianity. I read their Bible. I went to church. I went to one of the most conservative, both politically and religiously, colleges in the USA, where I had to take four classes in Bible and religion. I was surrounded by 'Christians.' So I'm very familiar with the teaching of Jesus and the wishes and desires of his deranged father. So if anything, the message the god of the Christians is sending with the hurricane and the earthquake is that the Gospels are being perverted by capitalism. Jesus commanded us to feed, clothe, and love the poor. He didn't command us to cut taxes on the rich. He'd be pretty pissed about income inequality, not that corporations are being regulated too much. Their god is mad at them for not giving all of the citizens of this country medical and dental coverage, he's not mad that we don't have enough weapons to kill everyone on the face of the earth.

Jesus also said, and I'm paraphrasing here, "What ever you did to the poor, you did to me." And we all know what people like Michele Bachmann and her pals in the Christian Taliban have been doing to the poor since 1980. Yeah, my educated guess is that Jesus and his pop are pissed at the ass reaming the Republicans and Corporate Conserva-Dems have handing out since the days of St. Ronnie Reagan and they're finally doing something about it.

With friends like these, Jesus doesn't need any more enemies

I flipped past Fox Propaganda channel and I heard Gomer Huckabee deriding public employees in Wisconsin. He claimed that for every dollar a Wisconsin teacher puts in their retirement account, the state of Wisconsin must pay in fifty seven. Now if that were true, teachers would be flocking to Wisconsin and or the state would have gone bankrupt many years ago.

So, obviously the man is lying. And you'd think he'd know better than to lie, after all he used to be a preacher and I'm pretty sure his god told him, "Thou shall not bear false witness." But I could be wrong, it's been a long time since I read the bible Gomer claims to believe in.

Or maybe he's just another lying sack of Republican shit.

Yeah, that's probably it.

Favorites

There's a Facebook meme going around that many racists, teabaggers, and conservative Christians are using as their Facebook status, and if you have no idea what a Facebook status is them I suggest you get a life or go ask your kid to show you what Facebook is, and it goes something like this: "Dear God, This past year you took my favorite actress Farrah Fawcett, my favorite actor Patrick Swayze, and my favorite musician Michael Jackson. I just wanted to let you know that my favorite President is President Obama. Amen."

They think it's funny to call for the death of this country's first black President. And they get mad when you call them on it. They don't like their hate speech being pointed out to them. It makes them mad, mad enough to kill probably.

In addition to their racism this current 'joke' shows them to be once again, clueless stupid, ill informed Fox News loving idiots. This is true because if pressed they could not name one film their favorite actress has appeared in.
Other than the masturbation loop of her that plays in their spank banks.

As for their alleged favorite actor,
they only liked him, the males anyway, because he was in all their gay sex fantasies. They wanted Patrick to sweep them up in his strong arms the way he did Baby in Dirty Dancing. They dreamed of getting beaten up and then nursed back to health by his character from Road House. And now they dream of his ghost coming back and getting all jiggy with them like his ghost did in Ghost.

In reality they hated Michael Jackson.
They branded him a freak and a pedophile and they forbade his music from being played in their pick up trucks and trailers after he was found not guilty a few years ago.

Their favorite President was actually George W. Bush because he was just like them, conservative, belligerent, and stupid to the core.

Not that any of them read this blog but if any of them do, then I'd like to remind them, especially the Christians, that lying is a sin. That whole commandment about bearing false witness comes into play here.

Don't get me wrong folks, I'm not telling you to shut up, I'm using my freedom of speech to show how your bullshit is stupid, disingenuous, and against the religion you claim to be an adherent to.

5 out of 5 Cardinals agree

Native American actress Tantoo Cardinal agrees that she was underused in film and television throughout her career.

Liar and drug abuser Mark McGwire agrees that even though he's a liar and drug abuser he's never forced any underage children to have sex with him like some cardinals in the Roman Catholic church have.

Hall of Fame pitcher Dizzy Dean agrees even though he's been dead since 1974 he still likes to have a few beers and listen to the musical stylings of Mojo Nixon.

This photo of Claudia Cardinale agrees that it really doesn't belong in this post because one pronounces her last name 'Car-di-nal-eh' not 'Car-dinal.'

Kurt Warner agrees that since I don't accept his faith that I'm going to a hell that doesn't exist and that people like him made up to scare people into believing their religious bull shit.
And this cardinal just wants to poop on your car. Or perhaps, you.

Story time

Once upon a time there was a bunny puppet who was raised by decent puppets who taught him to be kind and helpful, to respect the earth and all it's creatures, and to do his best to treat others how he would want to be treated.
The bunny had been exposed to organized religion and after a few flings with it decided that it was not for him. And that made many other puppets mad.
They said, "Grrr, you have to believe like we do or you are going to hell!"

"Okay, whatever," said the bunny. And he went on with his life.

But the puppets who believed in organized religion would not let it go. They wanted to make the bunny believe in the same things they did.

The said, "If you don't believe like we do then our God will get mad at you. He put you here so you can praise him all the day long and you'd better do it. Also our religion gives you the guidelines for how you should live your life, so you better get on board mister."

The bunny told them, "Hang on a second. Do you mean to tell me that you only do helpful and kind things because you think your God will like it if you do them? You're nice to people and you help them out only because you are afraid if you don't that your God will get pissed off at you? Shouldn't you do those things because they are the right thing to do no matter what?"

This use of logic made some of the religious puppets madder. A chorus of them shouted at the bunny puppet, "Don't you want to go to heaven?"

The bunny puppet said, "If heaven is going to be full of puppets who praise God on Sunday and or in front of others and then who go about being hateful to puppets they disagree with then I think I'll skip it, thank you very much. If heaven is going to be full of puppets who profess a deep love and devotion to a god they can't see or hear but who neglect, marginalize, and demonize puppets who they can see and hear and who hate puppets who are black, gay, or don't believe as they do, then I'll pass on your heaven. If heaven is going to be populated with puppets who destroyed civilizations and areas of the earth in an effort to bring their god to others, then I'll think I stay away from that place."

The other puppets then mocked the bunny for not swallowing the story being constantly hawked by some religious puppets. They set the bunny up as an example of how not to behave and they said he was public enemy #1 because he thought for himself and he did not let those in the church do his thinking for him.

The bunny kept on living his life without religion. He saw that religion was helpful to some people and that it could be a force for good if implemented properly. And he also saw how some puppets used religion to further their greed, hatred, and intolerance. He saw how some used religion as a weapon to kill other puppets, as a soapbox to spread hatred, and as way to poison and pervert many easily manipulated minds. Even though he saw all that he tried to live and let live. He did not try to sway anyone over to his point of view even though there were many puppets who worked incessantly to try to get him to become religious like them.

As time went on the bunny saw that there were more and more puppets like him, puppets who did not follow any religion but who were good puppets who thought for themselves, were kind to others and to the planet, and who did their best to be good citizens.But for some religious puppets that was not good enough and they are still to this day trying like hell to snare the bunny and his fellow non believing compatriots into their religious traps.

********

How this story ends is up to you. You can either live free and think for yourself or you can follow the other puppets. I've made my choice, you can do what's best for you.

My friend and fellow agitator Rev. Shuck and Father Ted are the exceptions to the rule

I could not agree more with this man.

But like I said in the title of this post, I'll make an exception for Rev. Shuck because he's a stand up guy and for Father Ted because he's the funniest priest ever.

(Fez tip to Open Piehole which is where I found this great life affirming clip.)