"When my plan for world domination comes together Dr. Monkey, you'd better watch out."
"Dude, get that thing out of my face, can't you see I'm eating?"
"I'm gonna get you!"
"Yes, I am this cute. Can you believe it? But hey, look here Dr. Monkey, you're a big old fat white dude and you're ruining my chances with the ladies, so how about you run along and let a playa do his thang. Thanks man, I mean it."
1) Susan Boyle
We went to a wedding at our friend Michelle's house and this was the groom's cake. It was unholy good cake. It was slap yo momma good cake. The wedding and the folks who were there were nice but the cake was out of this world. Holy hell, I love me some cake.
That's right bitchez, I made strawberry jam last night. Those are locally grown strawberries, not organic but they are local, so that's something anyway. How does my first attempt at jam making taste? In a word, delicious. 
In what world did graduating summa cum laude from a Ivy League university mean someone is stupid?
Best Mike Leigh film ever. Sally Hawkins is luminous and cute as a button in this sweet slice of life movie. Eddie Marsan is creepily great as well. Highly recommended.
Some hairy doofus hipster who refers to himself as the President of Quebec is holding our Crunky now. I'm not sure which is more revolting, his unwashed hair, his scraggly beard, or his nasal French accent.
Dick Cheney had to order the torture of others in his war of terror. People like him always torture. And by 'people like him,' I mean small ruthless people who put the needs of the few before the needs of the many time after time. I mean people who sat out going to war when he was young but had no compunction about sending other people's kids, mostly poor and black and Hispanic people's, off to a far off land to die for their country in a useless unwinnable war. I mean people who have enriched themselves at the government teat while denying others, mostly poor people, basic human services from the same government that he got rich off of. I mean people who willingly demonize and scapegoat gays for the political benefit while sheltering his own gay daughter, her partner, and their child from the same ridicule they've subjected others to. I mean people who tell others to go fuck themselves on the floor of the US Senate while they stand helplessly and laugh nervously when others tell them to do the same thing while they engage in political grandstanding in the rubble of the aftermath of hurricane Katrina. 
Don't be dumb enough to try to save the Devil Baby's soul,
As far as I can tell the film was about some people who were making a movie that nearly got made in the past but didn't because the two lead actors were both murdered. Laura Dern plays an actress who gets cast in this film and then as the movie, Inland Empire, moves forward she actually becomes the character in the film she is making. Then she somehow becomes another woman as well and the whole thing falls apart when she "dies" on the streets of Hollywood. I may have it all wrong or I may have it right, I seriously could not tell. After three and a half hours into it I gave up. I'm not even going to pretend that I understood most of it, let alone what the fuck the people with the bunny heads were supposed to mean.
It's very funny. It's very very funny. It was written by Paul Rudd, the nicest seeming guy in Hollywood, and a couple of the guys who were in The State. It's got most of the people from The State in it as well, so if you liked that show and the myriad of stuff they've done since, most of which I do with the exception of that show Stella, then you'll like this movie.
and some illustrations by James Thurber 
and Edward Gorey 
on one of my Picassa Web albums. You can access it by clicking here. Feel free to use any of the illustrations or clip art in whatever you want to use them in, no need to give me any creidt when you do either. In fact that goes for all the stuff I post on Picassa and Flickr, except for my personal family photos, most of which are now on Facebook only.
It's chock full of great quotable lines like:
"John Wayne was a fag."
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"Have a nice day."
"Day, night, it don't mean shit."
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"Someone says plate, then someone says shrimp...then someone says plate of shrimp."
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"Credit is a scared trust. You think they got credit in Russia?"
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"Feeling 7-Up, I'm feeling 7-Up."Stripes and Caddyshack are also a couple of my go to movies to quote from. "Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear," is nothing short of classic. One of the proudest moments of my pop culture life came to me on an overcast day on the golf course a few years ago. I was playing with an older dude who I am sure had never seen Caddyshack and when it started to sprinkle he said, "I guess I better go on in." I looked at him and I said that memorable line first uttered by Bil Murray as Groundskeeper Carl, "Oh, I'd keep playin', the heavy stuff isn't gonna come down till later." He looked at me like I was an idiot and he went in out of the rain. As I finished playing the front nine by myself, I could not help but chuckle at my quotings.
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Now, what are your go to movies for quotes?
...because he was hiding in her hair. She also found a quart of gin, a small Indonesian child, and a trunk full of squirrel hats in her hair as well.
the more unhinged some of the Christians become.
They carped for years that if evolution were true then there would be "missing links" between humans and other primates. And now when more and more of them are showing up, they now claim that they are not the missing links they were talking about. But if you listen closely, you can hear Kirk Cameron's mind being blown and Patricia Heaton's soft sobs.
"He's a giant douchebag who I hope never gets to play in the NFL again. And if I ever see him in person, I'll bite him. See if I don't. Oh yeah, before I forget, arf!"
Cookie Monster is holding our Crunky now. He won't eat it because he's so into cookies, so no worries.
I skipped the first one because I could not get past the fact that a bunch of British people had been cast to play Swedes. It got on my nerves. Plus I thought Branagh was playing Wallander as more put upon than world weary in the first movie.
...we tried to help them fight, no one appreciated that.
Jesse Ventura tears that conservative shrew Elizabeth Hasslebeck a new one:
I love how she tries to equate Nancy Pelosi's faulty memory with the fact that her beloved her ex Vice President ordered torture. Ventura is right, the whole thing could have been avoided if we had just followed the rule of law and not tortured in the first place. I'm betting Ms. Shrew will be going on FOX Noise and claiming that Ventura was rude and oh so mean to her.
it was the epitome of 1960's conspiracy cool. It was a show about a spy, referred to only as #6, who resigns one day, gets gassed by a mysterious group, and then wakes up in a village that he can't escape from. Everything in the village is tightly controlled by the people in charge. Of course #6 tries to break out and be free from the insidious village and of course the agency in charge tries to keep him contained inside the village. It's all very symbolic and yet it's a very engagingly hip well told story. 
I remember watching it when I was a kid. My older brother Charlie loved it and when he deigned to let me watch it with him I was happy as a clam. Until that big white killer balloon thingy was unleashed that is, then I'd get scared and run off to find Mom.
