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Eating out with Dr. Monkey

One of the consequences of putting our place on the market is having to be out when people want to look at it. As a result of having to be out when realtors show our place we have eaten dinner out more in the past month than we have in the past few years. I like to eat out from time to time but anymore since I know most of the food served in restaurant around here is not organic or naturally grown, I'm kind of leery about eating it. Also I like to cook and I've gotten pretty good at about a dozen or so dishes and so I prefer to eat at home where I have some control over what kind of foods I cook.

Since I do have a few local readers I'm going to devote the rest of this post to mini reviews of some of the locally owned restaurants we've eaten at in the past few weeks.

Mardi Gras Cafe (on Oakland)-Avoid this joint. The food is so so at best. Everything they make seems to be deep fried. I had a oyster po' boy with fries and it was pretty bad. The ambiance in this place stinks as well.

The new German restaurant downtown-We ate there tonight and I can't remember the name of it but I can tell you I was pleasantly surprised. The food we had was very good, I had the grilled chicken in Riesling sauce with mashed potatoes and sauerkraut and it was quite tasty. Sparky enjoyed her meal as well. They've done a great job with the decor in the place, it has an old world but still cozy feel. I'd eat there again.

China Garden (next to Blockbuster on Roan Street)-If you have not tried this little Chinese place then you are missing out. It's a small restaurant and unlike most every other Chinese restaurant around here they don't do a buffet, there's no room for one. They make your order while you wait and they do it quick. The food is a bit on the salty side, that's to be expected with Chinese food though, but it's still damn good. I recommend the chicken in garlic sauce with steamed rice.

Scratch Bakery and Foodworks-I can't say enough good things about Scratch. They make great breads, desserts, smoked meats and fish, sandwiches, and other stuff. They also make great pizzas in their wood fired oven. They are only open from 11 to 11 on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, so get there when and if you can.


As far as the big chain restaurants go, if you've eaten at one, you've eaten at them all so I'm not going to review them here ever.

The pleasure principle

As partisan as I am you may be shocked to learn that I take little pleasure in seeing elected officials of the conservative Republican variety indicted for on corruption charges. See, I, probably naively so, think that if you are elected to the one of the highest legislative bodies in this country then you should be above using your office for criminal personal gain for yourself and for your buddies. I want to believe that even though I disagree with all Republicans, and these days most Democrats, in Congress, especially in the Senate, that they have some of our country's best interests at heart and that they can control themselves from plundering and helping other plunder at our national money teats.

Sadly some can't.

Sadly, once elected to the House or to the Senate they feel that they are above the law and unaccountable to the people who elected them. Sadly, they feel only accountable to the monied interests who fund their perpetual campaigns.

To see Congressmen and Senators get indicted or to leave office under a cloud of suspicion, no matter what party they are in makes me profoundly said. I'm not saying I'm sad to see them go, oh hell no, on the contrary, I'm glad to see them go. What makes me sad is that they used their office, their power, their influence to enrich themselves and their pals at our expense. Democrats as well as Republicans are guilty of it. Jim Wright of Texas was a crook who broke the rules for his benefit, Dan Rostenkowski was too. On the other side of the aisle Newt Gingrich had to resign in disgrace because of his financial dealings. It affects members of both parties.

Now, the kind of political scandal that I take great pleasure in is the kind where conservative Republican "pro family," European Jesus lovin', gay and adultery hatin' (in public anyway) politicians get caught trying to pick up dudes in bathrooms

or using hookers for sexual stuff their wives won't do or hittin' on 16 year old boys. I hate Congressional hypocrisy as much as I hate Congressional white collar crime, one makes me laugh and shake my head, the other makes me sad and mad. And unfortunately for me and the rest of the country, Washington DC is permeated with both kinds of bad behavior. On both sides of the aisle.

Get down with ya bad selves

My new favorite song by an indicted member of the US Senate.


(Fez tip to The Open Piehole)

Artsy photo of the week

What a great week to be a Liberal!

We got us another corrupt Republican scalp to add to our belts:
"Our" media is doing it's usual great job.

And our plan to discredit conservatives by murdering ourselves has finally come to fruition.

Good times, good times (he says sarcastically).

An open letter to the one legged barber who cut my hair today

Dear One Legged Barber,

I'm all about "mainstreaming" handicapped people into society and the workforce but dude, you really creeped me out today.

I'm totally cool with you needing to use my shoulder to steady yourself from time to time as you move around my enormous head to cut all my hair evenly, but what I am not cool with is you pushing your crotch into my shoulder as you cut my hair. It really was disconcerting to have you shove your package into my shoulder and breath heavily as you cut my hair. I felt like you should have been paying me for letting you dry hump my shoulder.

But you know what old man? As creeped out as I was that you pleasured yourself on my shoulders as you cut my hair, I was still going to tip you. But then you had to open that fat yap of yours and that tip went the way of the Dodo bird, the street car, the truthful Republican, that's right old man, your tip vanished into the dustbin of history when you started making your comments about Obama. I know you thought you were among your racist friends, but in my case you were dead wrong. I know most old farts like you are buying the shit that Bush McCain is selling, but this old fart doesn't. I left the last guy because he loved to listen to FOX News radio while he cut hair. I came back to your shop because no one talked about politics last time and the other guy who cut my hair did a good job. But I won't be back to your shop anymore you old horn dog.

You may be afraid of Osama, Obama, and Yo Momma, but I'm not. I'm voting for the guy. And you know what else old man, I'm gonna give the money I was going to tip you to the Obama campaign. It's only two bucks but I'll be damned if I give any money to a one legged, penis pushing, dry humping old racist Republican. Maybe my two bucks will help pay the salary of some young organizer who is out there registering more black, or Latino, or female voters.

Sincerely yours,
Dr. Monkey

Monkey Movie Madness

I recently saw three of my favorite movies again. I watched The Craft and I bathed in it's cheesiness. It's still my favorite movie of that year but it's not one I need to see again for about ten more years.

I also saw The Wicker Man, the original, not the shitty Nic Cage remake (go on and sue me for calling your remake a shitty film Nicky boy, sue me, I dare ya), and it held up pretty well.

It's still creepy and it's also a bit cheesy. The scenes where the couples are humping in the cemetery and where Britt Ekland dances nude in the room next to Edward Woodward are super cheesy. However a naked dancing Britt Ekland is always a welcome sight, no matter how cheesy her dancing and how bad the music.
The weakest part of The Wicker Man is Edward Woodward. I know he has to be priggish and prudish for the story to work but his performance in this movie is a one note one and it gets so tiring by the end of the film that you are rooting for him to burn up inside that big wicker man thingy.


You know what film holds up really well after 30 years? The Deer Hunter. The only thing false about this film are the deer hunting scenes. The rest of the movie is dead on and the actors are amazing. I watchted this again last night and I was astounded by the De Niro, Streep, Walken, Savage, and the rest of the folks in this film.

I had forgotten parts of the movie, the last time I was it was 1978, but what I remembered as being good the first time I saw it was even better this time around. The wedding and wedding reception scenes were amazing. The interplay between Streep and De Niro in them is fantastic. I had forgotten how great John Savage was in his scenes in the Viet Cong holding pen, his quiet screams and swallowed fear are amazing to watch. And the tenderness of De Niro as he tries to comfort his buddy is just amazing as well.

If you have not seen this movie in a while or if you have never seen it, see it. It's worth every rave you ever heard about it.

This just in...

Good job Bill, Sean, and Michael

They found books by Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, and Michael savage in the Knoxville church shooters house. Those three and Rush Limbaugh, Pat Robertson, and the rest of the religious right have demonized and attacked liberals and gays for the past 30 years. I'm actually shocked some of their followers didn't do something like shoot a Unitarian church up sooner than this.

And sadly some on the right are dismissing his hatred for liberals as the reason for the shootings. They're even going so far as to say that it smells like a cover up because the guy was out to discredit conservatives by killing people in a gay friendly church. They have no shame and they will accept no blame for their hate speech and hatred of other Americans.

I'll be willing to bet that there is no mention of the shooters reading list on FOX news and they'll be blaming the liberal media for the whole mess. After all, that's what conservatives do best, blame others for what they have wrought.

Those liberals and gays will kick your ass every time

The shooting spree that took place yesterday in Knoxville, which is about an hour and a half west of Monkey Central, showed just how much conservatives hate modern America. The ones who did not do the shooting, the hacks in the NRA and the corporate media, will all cry, "This is not the time to talk about gun control! We need more citizens armed so they can do things like this! After we kill teh gays we'll go after women who have had abortions and people who don't love the same Jesus that we do!" And now we know that the piece of shit who did the shooting hated liberals and gays more than life itself.

I guess the shooter bought into the media meme, pushed mostly by the cowards at the National Review Online, that us liberals and gays would just sit idly by while someone with a big gun shot us all down. He must have thought that those heroes in that church congregation were just going to cower and whimper while he sprayed hot conservative Republican lead in all directions.

Well Mr. Asshole Big Gun Totin' Shooter, I guess you found out different. I'm betting now that your ass is in jail you wish you hadn't listened to all those lies that said liberals and gays were weak and wouldn't defend themselves and their children. I'm willing to go so far as to say that when you get sent to prison for the rest of your life and Big Bubba and or Big Tyrone is anally raping you without the benefit of lubing you up first then boy howdy you'll be wishing you hadn't listened to all that hate filled right wing talk radio that said that burly conservative Republicans with guns could do just whatever they wanted.

Make no mistake people, the man who did this shooting is a conservative Republican or possibly a Libertarian and his motives were to wipe out as many liberals, gays, and gay friendly people as he could. He was no doubt hopped up on right wing hate radio and FOX news. So when they try and convict this piece of crap they ought to be trying Rush Limbaugh, Rupert Murdoch, and all the rest of the right wing hate mongers in the corporate media along with him.

Somehow I doubt the heroes of this shooting will be lionized and feted in the press. The press, with the possible exception of Keith Olbermann, will ignore the fact that the shooter was a product of right wing radio and FOX news and they'll ignore or gloss over the fact that the people who stopped him were liberal gay friendly people. And I'm willing to bet that some right wing religious nut job is going to say that the people in that church got what they deserved because they're liberal and gay loving.

Let this be a lesson to all you people out there who hate liberals, gays, and gay friendly people, if you fuck with us we will defend ourselves, even if you have a gun.

Let's see what your 1950's neighbors are up to

Instead of cruising the park for male "companionship" Mr. Smith from down the block spends his free time making metal fish.

The Gliddenhouser twins are going to bed early after having their nightly "hernia check" courtesy of their Uncle Vernon.

Mrs. Plank's family finally fell asleep and it's time for her to take some of her "mommy medicine."

Mr. Stone is planting explosives in his tool handles in the hopes that the husband of the Roman Catholic family down the street will borrow them.

Mrs. Hansen is getting ready to go "visit a shut in" who's located in room #413 at the Crest Motel.

Madge from across the street is calling the FBI and telling them that everyone in your neighborhood is a Communist.
Young Nancy Blake is simply cleaning the house. She is not removing evidence and her parents are not dead, they're visiting relatives in Ontario.

Gimpy Jim is in his basement taking "art photos" of small animals again.

So as you can tell, it's just another quiet night at your 1950's neighbor's houses.

Bele Chere, mon amour

The last full weekend in July means one thing in Asheville, NC and that one thing is the street fair/festival called Bele Chere. We've been attending Bele Chere on and off for about 10 to 12 years now and we've grown to really like it, provided the weather is not scorchingly hot and dismally humid. Since the weather recently has been neither, we decided to hook up with our friends Todd and Donna and take in this the 30th edition of Bele Chere. While we waited for Todd and Donna to arrive from Knoxville Sparky perused some of the artists booths and I got to see a fabulous show put on by Baton Woman (I have no idea what her real name is). Baton Woman is a gal who is in her mid to late 30's, she's rail thin, and very energetic. I was innocently snapping photos faster than a Japanese tourist when I heard her loud music coming from her portable tape player. Then I turned and I saw her doing a kick ass baton twirling routine. She was tossing that baton high and catching it, smiling and showing off all the while. It was a treat to see her work her baton magic. By the time she finished she was beaming with joy. She smiled and waved to the five or six of us who watched her and I started applauding because she put on one heck of a performance. I tossed a buck and some change in her tip bucket and I told her she was great. You could have powered a small city with the wattage of her smile when she heard me say that.

Our friends Todd and Donna finally showed up and we all started taking in the artsy/craftsy booths, the public service booths, the hippie vendors booths, and of course we suffered through some bad music: This flute guy was playing some serious screeching shitty stuff. I wanted to ask him if he took requests and if he said he did then I was going to request he stop playing but alas I did not. I settled for making snide remarks about his awful musical stylings with my buddy Todd. Speaking of music, we watched this guy with a drum walk up and start to jam with the three other guys. They smiled and let him sit in for about half a song but when he his drumming started to drown out their playing they ran him off.

We walked around for a good couple of hours taking in all that Bele Chere had to offer before we succumbed to hunger. I was perfectly willing to eat the fare from the street food vendors but my companions wanted to go inside where there was air conditioning and have a sit down meal. Thank goodness I followed them into this restaurant. The food was fantastic, I had shrimp and Cajun sausage with a brown gravy over polenta cakes, and despite the surliness of our waitress the whole experience was nice. I'd definitely go back there but not if that cranky gal was my waitress. As the day wore on the temperature went higher and the ones who suffered the most were little fair skinned white kids. In the above picture the woman in the wheel chair was trying to comfort the squirming kid in the stroller but as you can tell he was hatin' on her efforts.
One of the great things about Bele Chere is how community activist organizations use it to spread their messages. PETA has a booth, the ACLU, various conservation groups, and all kinds of political organizations have booths as well. This year I was glad to see that the Obama campaign had booths all over the place and they were registering voters right and left. They also were not content just to sit there so they'd send out people into the crowds to ask if anyone wanted to get registered. I had about three of their people at various times ask me if I was signed up to vote. I looked for Bush McCain backers and Republicans who wanted to get people registered to vote but I found none. How shocking.

On the fashion front, this look was not as popular this year:But the gals who are still using it are still cute as buttons.Thankfully the "wok hat" look was confined to this one gal.

Most of the artsy types had signs up asking people not to take photos of their art and I complied, with a few exceptions. One of the exceptions was this artist who makes metal fish and mermaids. I love this guy's work. When I hit the lottery jackpot I'm going to buy some of his art.

Since I'm back on artists there were a couple of neat performance artists that we got to see.These two little gals, ages probably in the range of 10 to 12, act was to recite song lyrics in unison and then they'd just suddenly freeze and glare at one another. Then after a moment or two they'd start up again in unison. It was kind of unsettling to see them but after watching for a minute or so their act became kind of cool.This chick is one of a cadre of young people who dress up like statues and beat on a drum. They'll stand stock still and then every three minutes or so they'll beat out a rat-a-tat-tat and then freeze again. If you toss them a tip they'll bow as a way to say thanks for your generosity. Some of them, like this chick, do it well and they have great make up and costumes, but some who do this really suck at it.

Of course no outdoor gathering below the Mason Dixon line would be complete without some Christian kill joy trying to ruin everyone else's good time.These pricks stood on a street corner and tried to make the rest of us frightened enough to join them in their delusional religion that's based on fear, obedience to the patriarchy, and death and dismemberment. And they were joined by a couple of asshole who spread the "good news" about how all of us who do not believe as they do are going to burn in hell because we don't take the metaphor of Jesus as seriously as they do. Oh well, some people are never so happy as when they're ruining it for the rest of us.

On the plus side there were some celebrities at Bele Chere this year. New York Times columnist, bestselling author, and Bush administration apologist Thomas Friedman had a booth where he tried to tell anyone who would listen that we need to give the war in Iraq another six months before we even think of pulling out and he also preached about how much we should all love globalization even though it's ruining our economy, our food system, and our lives. As you can see his booth was not well attended at all.

Douchebag Man was also in attendance at this year's Bele Chere. Never heard of Douchebag Man? Aside from his biggest super power, which is being a huge douche, he also has the ability to bore small children and to cause apathy and indifference in adults. Perhaps he was there on behalf of the McCain campaign.
And finally we spotted a member of the Loyal Order of The Water Buffalo dancing to the strains of a Zydeco band, that's him in the fuzzy blue hat. I tried to get a better shot of him but his dance moves made that impossible.

All in all we had a lot of fun at this years Bele Chere and you can see all the other pictures I took over there by clicking here. I'm already looking forward to going to next year's edition of Bele Chere.

Monkey runs wild in the streets

Well, actually I'll be walking wild in the streets. The streets of Asheville, NC that is. That's right kids, Bele Chere is going on this weekend across the mountain from us and we're meeting friends over there to take as much of it in as we can. So you'll not get much out of me today blogging wise but I'll be glad to report back on how things went on Sunday, and of course I'll have pictures too.

Have fun today kids, I know I will.

It's official, he'll do anything to satisfy his buddies in the corporate media

I nearly lost it when I saw this headline on the Huffington Post:

WATCH: McCain Blows Off WSJ Reporter

Before I clicked on on the link I thought, "Eww, I don't want to think about him having sex with Cindy and I damn sure don't want to think about him giving a hummer to some reporter."

Look out

That truck is out of control! LOOK OUT!

For the last time let's do this once more

Warning this post contains spoilers. Do not read it if you have not seen the first two episodes of the new series of Project Runway.

Despite all their efforts to kill it before it moves to Lifetime, Bravo has begun running the latest installment of my favorite "reality" show, Project Runway. I'll do these wrap ups from time to time until the end of the series or until I get sick to death of them, whichever comes first.

After seeing the first two episodes I can safely say that I hate Suede. My chief reason for hating him is not because he refers to himself in the third person, it's because he refers to himself in the third person inconsistently, if you're going to do that shit then go all out and do it all the time Miss Suede. But no matter how much I hate him I recognize that he's got talent and he's going to be a source of "drama" so I'm betting they'll keep him until the end.

When they boot this talentless black hole of negativity I will sing and dance in the streets. Stella Ramone looks like a junkie, has an annoying New Yawk accent, has a piss poor attitude, and as much fashion talent as I do. Holy Jeebus I hate her. I hate listening to her whine, I hate looking at her emaciated face, I hate everything about her. If I could invent a time machine and go back in time to convince them to kick her off the first show when they should have I would. She makes my flesh crawl.

Blayne the Wonder Weasel is also on my shit list.
His one trick is to repeat the word "licious" over and over until you want to grab a blunt object and bash Blayne's brains in. From his first two "designs" I have deduced that he should have spent less time shooting up heroin and more time paying attention to the instructors when he was in fashion school.

The first two people to get bounced, the Asian guy with the bad hair and the young preppy guy with the bad attitude, both deserved to go. They both stank like a shell fish salad that had been left in a hot car for two weeks.

Okay, that's enough hate, let's move on to who I like this time around.

I like both the women of color this time around. Korto rocked the first challenge but the second time around she came up short. I think she's got more great designs in her but she needs to stop letting the judges opinions make her cry. You knew they were going to criticize everyone at some point sugar, get over it. Hitch up your big girl panties and learn from your mistakes.

I thought Terri got robbed in the first challenge. Her top made from mop heads looked far and away better that the coffee filter boob thingy dress that won and she wasn't even in the top three. She was robbed I tells ya, robbed! I'm rooting for her to go far, which is usually the kiss of death, just ask the black gal from last year and Greek Nick from two years ago.

I'm kind of diggin' on Kenley hard. I like her look and her design on this week's episode was really good looking. She seems nice and easy going.
I hope she goes far as well.

There's lots of episode left before this last season of Project Runway on Bravo ends so stick around and we'll see what happens as we continue on the Bataan death march to Lifetime.

A tale of two candidates

Who's having a better week?
Sen. Obama draws over 200,000 people in a square in Germany and gives a speech for the ages.

Meanwhile Bush McCain spent the day shoring up his base and crusin' for some action.

Sen. Obama looked as Presidential as they come as he charmed our former allies in Europe and worked his way across the world.

Bush McCain just looked sad as he posed in front of a fudge store with a man who refuses to come out of the closet.

Yeah, I'd complain too if I was Bush McCain. Sen. Obama's poise, diplomatic demeanor, and rock star reception all over the world gave him an incredible edge this week, meanwhile Bush McCain's gaffes, clumsy attacks, and misstatements made him look like a doddering confused old man.

Couple this week's triumphant world tour with Obama's unprecedented fund raising, his commanding lead among Hispanics, and his grasp of the issues and boy howdy you've got one hell of a Democratic party candidate. If I was in the Republican party I'd be running scared right about now and I'd be praying to that non existent god of theirs who hates gays but loves fetuses and guns that their losses in November are as huge as some are predicting they'll be.