Hey dumb ass...

...don't break your arm patting yourself on the back. You are nothing short of shameless and you'll go down in history as the worst President we ever had inflicted on us. I know you think that if you keep telling us that you did a great job that maybe it will sink in and we'll actually start to believe you. But it's never going to happen...ever. And here's why:

• You took a surplus and you turned it into a trillion dollar deficit.
• You did not keep us safe. Those planes that hit the Twin Towers, you were warned about them and you did nothing to stop them.
• You lied to us about why we had to go to war.
• You refused to listen to the military professionals who tried to tell you how to fight the wars we should not have been fighting because you thought you and your staff of yes men knew better.
• You approved torture and you are guilty of war crimes.
• You're lack of regulation and accountability has led to the economic meltdown and thousands of deaths.
• You refuse to believe that you did anything wrong when in fact your whole Presidency was a case study of what not to do while President.
• You took more vacations than any other President while most Americans had to give up theirs.
• You ate organic food while in the White House while most of us had to eat genetically modified food slathered with pesticides.

If you had a shred of decency in you then you'd just shut the fuck up and you'd slink away with your tail between your legs. I can't wait for the grown ups to take charge the second you are out of office. It's going to take years to undo the mess you made you delusional bastard, now please just go the hell away.

The final insult

As if Bush's laying down on the job the last four years of his Presidency wasn't bad enough, he's given President Elect Obama one final kick in the ol' nads by refusing to let him stay in Blair House before his inauguration. It's been the custom for many year now for the out going President to let the incoming President and his family stay there so that they can be near their new house and so that they can be under the protection of the Secret Service. But like in most every other case Bush has pissed all over tradition and custom so that he can give his old pal former Aussie Prime Minister John "Bush Poodle #2" Howard a place to stay while he visits the USA and picks up his Medal of Ass Licking, oops, I meant Medal of Freedom that Bush is giving him for supporting the illegal war of terror on Iraq. It's fitting the Howard is bumping Obama from staying in Bliar house since after all it was Obama who indirectly bumped Howard from being Prime Minister again. Howard clung to his support of Bush like a fat kid clings to sheet cake and his two liter bottle of Mountain Dew. And the Australian people rewarded Howard for his refusal to break with Bush by dumping his ass.

So now Howard has a few days in Blair House and in a few days Obama will have at least four years in the White House. As Obama takes his place in history Howard will soon take his place in a retirement home in some hell hole in the Australian outback where Aborigine kids will pelt him with kangaroo and koala shit, all in all it seems a fair trade off to me.

It's almost over

In just a few days the lying thieving murdering chickenhawks will be out of office and this oucntry can finally begin to undo all the damage they caused us. It'll be like a super special late Christmas present to all of us. And it'll be a super special late Christmas miracle if they are both slapped in handcuffs and led off to the world court in The Hague.

My year end political wrap up

The big political news this year was obviously Barack Obama's historic victory. I didn't support Obama in the beginning but I was behind him one hundred percent in the end because the choice was to move forward with the smart black guy or stay anchored in this conservative Republican hell we're in right now. I rejoiced along with millions of others when Obama crushed doddering old John "I tried to sell my soul to the right wing of my party but they weren't buying it" McCain on election day. And like a lot of you I am not comfortable with some of his cabinet choices, Vilsack as Sec. of Agriculture for one and Hillary as Sec. of State for another, I think she'd make a much better Attorney General and I think she'll be way too hawkish as Sec. of State. I'm also disappointed that he is letting that anti science homophobic preacher Prick Warren deliver his invocation. But when I step back and think about it all I have to recall the wise words of one of my favorite bloggers, Vikkitikkitavi, who says that politicians will always break your heart, that's what they do because they aren't interested in pleasing you, they are only interested in getting re-elected.

In the end it's Obama's cabinet and not mine, it's his inauguration not mine and he can pick and choose who the hell he wants and I can always bitch about it on my blog.

The other big Obama news item for me this year was the shocking discovery that he was responsible for all the misogyny and sexism in the world. How did I find that out? Why the lovely ladies and gents who founded this short lived political/bowel movement told me so:Granted, I do not live in a "battleground" state so I did not see a lot of the back and forth ads that Hillary and Obama ran during the primaries so I really can't comment on the tone or content of those ads, but evidently all the ads that Obama ran pretty much said that Hillary should not be elected because she was a woman. And then all his pals in the media, you remember them don't you, they're the same ones who manufactured all this economic meltdown business so that their boy would win the Presidency, just jumped on that bandwagon and they beat up Hillary for being a woman as well.

The only problem with all of that is this: some of the PUMA people said that Obama was sexist because he did not demand the media stop their sexist teatment of Hillary. So according to that logic all the media sexism was Obama's fault. Which makes about as much sense as saying that the deaths in Rwanda while Bill Clinton was President was Hillary's fault because she didn't stop them even though it was her husband who was President.

So then the PUMA's went on to decry everything Obama said or did during his life after he won, or according to them, stole, the nomination. They pounced on Rev. Wright, who Obama denounced and distanced himself from, they brought up Bill Ayers, they howled when he talked about bankrupting utilities who wanted to build more coal powered plants, and most of them did the most treasonous thing of all, they supported McCain/Palin.

Now for them to throw their support behind the Republican ticket was perhaps the biggest slap in Hillary's face they could have ever given their one time glamour girl and heroine. There they were, McCain/Palin, out there on the hustings railing against everything Hillary had ever supported or worked for, equal pay for equal work, national health care for all, ending the war in Iraq, and all the other issues. It made perfect sense to them, oppose all the things their candidate wanted because they did not like the party standard bearer. They were perfectly willing to throw generations of women and their hard work in making this country a more equal place for the sexes under the bus just because they did not get their way in the nomination process.

They also held up Sarah Palin as a standard bearer for all women to look up to, even though she was diametrically opposed to all the positions Hillary ever stood and or fought for. They said that she was more than qualified to be Vice President and then Commander in Chief if something happened to McCain, after all she ran a town in Alaska and then the entire state of Alaska. And the PUMA's shrilly cried out that anyone who disagreed with their assessment of Caribou Barbie was sexist, just like anyone who didn't support Hillary was sexist. They snickered and guffawed when asked if Obama had any chance against a "war hero" and a woman with "executive experience." Then on election day they got their whiny asses handed to them.

Yo, PUMA's, we had a name for you people when we were kids. And that name is 'sore loser.' In 1992 I supported Tom Harkin of Iowa in the first primaries because he was a fire breathing liberal but when it became apparent that Clinton was going to be the nominee I sucked it up and I supported him 100% percent. When this last race started I backed Dennis Kucinich hard because his positions on the issues mirror my own but when it clear that he had no chance of winning and that most of the party was coalescing around Obama, I was all in, as they say on the horrendous poker television shows. But the PUMA's showed their political immaturity by refusing to support the nominee of the party. And they say they won't be back, well good. Don't ever come back, we don't need or want whiny sore losers like you in our party.And finally as the year and yet another Bush crime family Presidency come to a merciful end, people like Laura "It's 5 o'clock somewhere in the world" Bush and Karl Rove are trying like hell to convince people that the Bush/Cheney years weren't an epic failure. But we all know that they were. Bush squandered the budget surplus, took us into two disastrous wars, stole our civil liberties, defanged all the US government regulatory agencies he could, and he presided over the worst economic melt down in over 80 years. If you're worse off today than you were 8 years ago, then I'd say Bush has been a failure. If you lost your son or daughter, mom or dad, sister or brother, or cousin to the war of terror on Iraq then I'd say that Bush has failed us all. All the people who died on 9/11 because they didn't believe the memo from the Clinton people that said that Bin Laden was determined to attack us here in the USA scream with one voice and they say that Bush failed in his job.

Rove and the rest of them like to chortle that in 50 years no one will remember that Bush had shoes thrown at him (Has that happened to any other President? NOPE) and they like to say that history will vindicate his current low poll numbers. What they are counting on is that people only listen to FOX news or to the latest right wing political pundit who will shout over everyone and proclaim that Bush has been the second coming of George Washington. But what they know in their devious little hearts though is that history is written not by paid political pundits or by party hacks, it is instead written by sober scholars who look at facts and place things in proper context. And it it precisely those people who will rightly judge Bush/Cheney to be the epic failures they really are.

It's my Christmas wish...

...that my name is on the list of Bush haters in Karl Rove's new book.

I tried to get out but they pulled me back in

The first time I got some mail from the IRS telling me I could get a stimulus check I just ignored it because I didn't feel like I should get one since I didn't work last year, or the year before that and I won't work this year for that matter. I'm retired due to health reasons that I've written about on here before, and for those of you new to the blog those health reasons are the fact that I had a bad heart and I didn't know it until I had a massive heart attack that nearly killed me. The subsequent quadruple bypass surgery helped me but it did not cure any of the long standing damage that I had done to my heart from years of neglect and from years of smoking, both tobacco and marijuana. I'm not an invalid now and neither am I "handicapped," but I am classified as disabled and so I get a Social Security disability payment every month.

I was more than ready to let our government keep that $600 that they wanted to send me, they are deeper in debt than I am, they've got a war of terror to fight after all.
But they can't leave well enough alone. I got a letter in the mail today from the IRS telling me that it was not too late to file a tax return, something I have not done since 2005, so that I can get that economic stimulus check. Hell, if they're so fired up that I file way late just so I can have them turn around and send me $600, I figured why the hell shouldn't I? I can't look a gift horse in the mouth can I? So I bit the bullet and filled out the form the way they instructed me to and I'll be sending it off tomorrow.

If you ask me it's still a pretty fucked up situation. My disability income is non taxable so I don't file any tax returns, but they want me to file one so I can get my George W. "hush money" check. Well all right then, I'll file to get money that shouldn't be coming to me and I'll take that cash and do something crazy with it. If I get it in time I'll donate some to the Obama campaign and if the election is already over then I'll give some to Amnesty International or the United Negro College Fund (either one would piss off the Bushies, and hopefully we'll be in a new to us house by then and I'll put the rest on a recliner or something. Or maybe I'll buy some porn mags and send them to our soldiers who are trapped in Iraq fighting for corporate America.

This is the book that taught Bush Jr everything he knows about foreign policy:

It's the ultimate weapon all right and they've been hitting us with it for the past 7 years. There is only hope for us if we put aside all the stone age bull crap and treat one another as equals for a change.

The National Security Administration...

...has identified the next big threat to the Bush administration and corporate America.

A holiday greeting from George W. Bush

...yow-weeeeeeee! Somebody's less than fresh all right. You wasn't lyin' Unka Dick. What? Oh shoot. Uhhhh, hi there Amurica. I didn't get told ya'll was there. Heh, heh, heh, how they hangin'? I'm good thanks fer axing. I just wanted to take a moment out from destroying evidence, shit, I mean from out of my busy schedule to wish ya'll a happy Hanuka-mis-wanzza. This is a joyous time of year fer me and my family. We love to celebrate the birth of Santa Claus and share his inspirational message of giving with others. Not only do I like the holidays real good but my cabinet people and my family does as well. Let's hear a few words from some of them:



Condi Rice here America, happy holidays!



Happy Christmas from your friends at the CIA.


Wazzzup America? I'm Not Jenna and I want to wish you all a happy whatever the heck it is you celebrate. I hope everyone except for Democrats, progressives, and guys who want to marry one another have a super swell time this holiday season.


I've got no idea why I'm here. I'm an old Soviet era statue. Please, someone please smash me and get me away from these people, I'm begging you.

Happy Christmas from Dick Cheney's future organ donors and their parents!


There ya'll have it. That's my holiday greetings. Oh shit, wait. I forgot, If they's anyone listenin' who don't believe in the lil baby Jesus in the same ways I do, then I got a special present for ya:
Sit on that and spin you tiny batter dipped baby Jesus haters. And that goes fer all of ya'll Mooslems, Seeks, Heebs, Hindoos, Hindon'ts, Science-tographers, Phototographers, Thespians, Gerontologists, and Psychobabblers.


Ya'll be good Amurica, I'm goin' on vacation for a few weeks, they's some brush down in Crawford that's got my name on it. Ya'll be sweet now!

A peek inside a Bush cabinet meeting

Caught ya!

Hey dumb ass,


yeah, I'm talking to you Georgie. Turns out once again that you were wrong about something. Yesterday you and your flacks said that Congress wanted to spend money like a drunken gutter rat.
Crap, sorry. You guys claimed that Congress wanted to spend money like a drunken sailor and that's why you vetoed that pork laden health and education bill.
Turns out the facts didn't quite jibe with reality. Yeah dumb ass, it turns out that the biggest earmarks in that bill came from, are you ready for this?, REPUBLICANS! Drunken, public restroom sex having, page bending, homosexual repressing because they won't come out of the closet REPUBLICANS! I'd tell you to get your facts straight before you go around accusing people of stuff but you seem to love saying the wrong things that have no basis in reality. You sure ain't making it easy on me and my running mate, she and I are gonna have a huge mess to clean up when we get elected.

But let me assure you of one thing you greedy blood thirsty murdering old man, Monkey/Love is going to kick your ass after we get inaugurated and we're gonna toss you and the rest of your war criminal cabal in prison. Then we're going to have a huge nationwide party that will be funded by your personal fortunes.

Sound Repbulican Science

Back in in late 1960's then President Nixon looked out at this nation and he saw a scourge. This scourge was none other than pornography. He and his team of quisling ministers led by Billy Graham decided that the problem with all those hippies and potheads was they were looking at too much porn and all that porn was surely causing the sexual revolution. And as we have come to learn, the Republicans along with their intellectual handmaidens, the evangelicals, must stamp out anything fun, exciting, or liberating. But Nixon felt like he needed some kind of science behind his desire to stamp out porn so he convened a blue ribbon group of scientists and they actually did a study on the effects of porn on humans. They used scientifically sound methods and they studied porn up one side and down the other. Finally after months and months of looking at porn in labs and studying it's effects on men and women this group of scientists made their findings public. In a nutshell they said that viewing and using porn had no ill effects on people and that long term use of porn did not turn people in raving sex mad monsters. As soon as the findings of this landmark study were released Nixon did something that would set a scientific precedent for all Republican Presidents in the future, he promptly had the study suppressed because it did not say what he wanted it to say. He did everything he could to discredit the study and he went on to claim, as did his cabal of quisling toadies, that porn did in fact turn people into raving sex maniacs, rapists, and child molesters.

Speaking as someone who has viewed more than my share of porn during those long years when I did not have a girlfriend, I can tell you that looking at porno mags did not turn me into a raving sex freak. But keep that under your hats okay? It wouldn't look good for my Presidential campaign if it got out that I read porno mags at one time. Thanks.


In the mid 1980's Reagan decided that porn was out of control and that he needed to do something about it. So he too convened a study of the subject. This time however he did not bother with anything so trivial as science. He got his sleazy goon of an Attorney General Ed Meese to gather together a group of like minded anti porn activists to testify how bad porn was for people. Reagan learned from Nixon's mistake and he did not let any one with knowledge of how the scientific method works anywhere near his porn study. So understandably the Meese Commission Report said that porn was bad and that it's use was harmful to people and to all living things on the planet.


In today's world porn is not so much the bogeyman that it once was, attitudes towards it have relaxed a bit but there is something far more troublesome and deadly to worry about out there and it's called HIV/AIDS. In the battle against HIV/AIDS our current President has, in true Republican science hating fashion, decided to put himself and this country's policy on the wrong side of the issue in order to please his evangelical masters. Our Idiot in Chief wants the government to keep teaching that abstinence is the best method to prevent HIV/AIDS.

He and his Reich wing religious buds don't want kids to know about condom use and they even got a medical doctor, my late unlamented Senator, Bill Frist, to claim that you could get AIDS from someone's tears. He wants to keep teaching kids that abstaining from sex is the best way even though study after scientific study has shown teens continue to have sex despite 6 years of being told that the best way to not get HIV/AIDS is to not do it. And now after 6 years of flawed failed abstinence lessons, Bush wants more money to continue to teach kids that they shouldn't be doing what normal kids will do no matter what. When you think about it though, he's right in line with his Republican predecessors and he's showing the same regard for science that they did.

Holy crap, I hope you're still alive after this

Person 1: What's up with the FISA debate thing?

Person 2: You got me.

Person 1: I'd hate it if Bush used his dictatorial powers to spy on me.

Person 2: Me too. So you going to tell me what's up with that FISA debate in Congress?

Person 1: I can't.

Person 2: Why not?

Person 1: Because Americans will die if I do.

Person 2: You're kidding right?

Person 1: Nope.

Person 2: That's fecked up.

Person 1: I'm sorry but I have to turn you in to the Homeland Security Department now. You must be a spy or a terrorist if you question what our leaders are doing. You damn traitor.