My pick for POTUS

In 2008 I was in the tank 100% for Obama.  A McCain/Palin presidency administration would have been a disaster for us.  Initially I was behind what President Obama was doing, expanding SCHIP, enacting the Lily Ledbetter Act, and other things but as time went on I began to see Obama betraying his progressive principles and steering the USA further to the right.  He accepted Republican talking points that the federal budget is out of control and that Social Security is the cause of it.  He did not follow through on his promises to reform the Patriot Act.  He went after whistleblowers in the government and he cracked down on medical marijuana.  He flatly refused to consider a single payer national health insurance for all option in his health care overhaul.  He unjustly imprisoned Bradley Manning and is denying him his right to a fair and speedy trial.  He's bombing innocent people in Pakistan and he refuses to end the boondoggle in Afghanistan.  So for those reasons I can't support him this time around.

Since I don't support Obama, then I must support Romney, right?  No.  Hell no.  A Mitt Romney presidency would be an unmitigated disaster for us.  He'd tank our economy even further than Bush did and he'd jump in and start a war with Iran the first chance he got, he'd go to war with Iran to prove he's more pro Israel than Obama is.  A Romney administration would be a disaster for senior citizens, working people, women, and everyone but the top one percent of the economic pile.  He'd be a president for the Fortune 500, not for the average working American.  He's shown that he'll say anything and take any position he thinks you want him to have in order to get elected.  He's as phony as the day is long in Alaska in the summer time.

Since I'm not supporting either of the corporate cash polluted two party system candidates, then who am I behind this time around? 

I'm voting for Rocky Anderson of the Justice Party.

Rocky is anti war, pro peace, pro green, pro working people, and pro women.  His positions differ little from Jill Stein of the Green Party, who I also respect and like.  You can read more about Rocky and the Justice Party by clicking here.  I want a sustainable peaceful future for the USA, that's why I support Rocky.

Now some of you will be screaming that by voting for Rocky I'm helping Romney win.  That's bullshit.  If we had direct election of the POTUS then you might have a point, but since we have the electoral college system, my vote doesn't mean anything unless I vote for the person who wins my state, and that person is going to be Romney.  Since Obama won't win TN, I might as well vote for a candidate who's positions I support, and that person is Rocky Anderson. 

If I love din a state that is 'in play,' then I might vote for Obama, but I seriously doubt it.  I'm through voting for someone I don't support out of fear that his or her opponent might win.  I'm voting for people who I want to win, not against someone I want to lose.

It's convention time in Tampa!

The Republican convention is going on in Tampa Florida this week.

The Young Republicans are ready:

Southern evangelicals are ready:
And of course there's a passel of clergy on hand for the event:
It should be fun if it doesn't get washed away in the hurricane.

Romney/Ryan...

...are Reich for America in 2012.

Neither one please

I can't vote for Romney because I know that conservative Republican policies are a disaster for all but the very richest among us.

I can't vote for Obama because he refuses to prosecute any bankers or Wall Streeters for the economic meltdown.  He also refuses to prosecute anyone from the Bush/Cheney cabal for their war crimes.  And because he prosecutes whistleblowers.

I'm never ever voting for the lesser of two evils again.

I'm voting for Rocky Anderson to be our next president.

Hey Mitt!

• Only people with something to hide refuse to release things.
• You have to get permission to use other people's songs in your ads.  You actually have to pay them for it, you can't just steal their music.
• Retroactively retire?  Really?  

It's almost like you've got Sarah Palin running your campaign or something.

Four out of five Michigan Republicans are voting for...

"Romney. I like that he's wealthy and I hope some of that shit rubs off on me. Make it rain Mitty boy!"

"Romney because he was born here in Michigan. Sure he was born on a Mormon compound where they pray to Xenu and give one third of their money to the people who make green Jell-O and to Satan, but it's still Michigan. Fuck Ohio."

"Romney. I like his hair. His pubic hair that is."

"Romney because Santorum wants in my wife's vagina. Come to think of it, so does Newt."

"Hodor."

Another one bites the dust

Rick Perry dropped out of the Republican race so he could spend more time with his homophobia.

Mittens is feeling mucho pressure to release his tax returns. He's reluctant to do it because he knows Democrats will make his vast wealth a huge issue in the general election, as well they should.

Newt is pissed off he's getting questions about his marriages and his infidelities. Poor baby, he made Clinton's infidelities an issue, so his should be fair game as well.

Ron Paul is claiming that the Federal Reserve...oh wait, I don't give a shit what the racist homophobe says. He's never going to be the Republican nominee and with a little luck, he and all his followers will travel to the libertarian paradise known as Somalia where there is no government and plenty of personal liberty.

Obama is licking his chops at the thought of any of these ass clowns running against him.

Huntsman out

The least psychotic Republican candidate is dropping out out of the presidential race today.

But saying he's the least psychotic is like saying that being murdered by poison is better than getting murdered by being shot because it's less painful.

The awful truth

Here is what will happen in the Republican nomination race:

• Romney, barring any major gaffe or scandal, will buy the nomination because almost always Republicans nominate the guy who finished second in the previous election's primaries.
• Evangelicals will hate Romney's religion and they'll squawk about it but in the end they'll support him.
• Evangelicals will support Romney because they generally support a Republican, even though supporting Republicans goes against everything that Jesus Christ stood for, and they'll support him because once he gets the nomination he'll ask Santorum to be his running mate.
• Santorum shores up the radical right religious part of the party and Romney shores up the greedy financial Wall Street cocksucking wing of the party and together Romney and Ricky will run hard against Obama.

It's all moot though because Obama will win re-election and that will cause radical right wing ministers heads to explode. Republicans in Congress will become even more obstructionist and nothing will get done until 2014 when Democrats win back enough seats to get some programs passed.

Final Iowa results

The corporate media won't tell you the final results in Iowa, but I will.

1. Mitt Romney
2. Rick Santorum
3. Ron Paul
4. Newt Gingrich
5. Rick Perry
6. Michele Bachmann
7. Jon Huntsman
8. Herman Cain
9. Tim Tebow
10. An Egg Salad Sandwich
11. Player to be named later
12. Ronald Reagan
13. Nancy Reagan
14. Reagan and Goneril
15. Gilgamesh
16. Azaroth the Blighted One
17. Sarah Palin's funk filled dirty thong
    
18. Tantoo Cardinal
19. Nipsy Russell
20. Russell Crowe
21. Seriously, anyone but Romney
22. 867-5309
23. Ron Paul's racist homophobic newsletters
24. The First Presbyterian Church of Des Moines newsletter
25. Holy shit, we're gonna be stuck with a dude named 'Mitt' as our nominee
    

Look inside Ron Paul's bedroom

This is where the magic happens.

Keep talking fella

The more Herman Cain keeps talking, the less likely it is he'll be the Republican nominee. Not that he had much of a chance any way. In fact, Ass Juice Santorum has a better chance of being nominated than Herman Cain does.

The Herman Cain Guide to Helping Sexy Ladies Find a 'Job'

...so I told her, "Baby, just let me put the tip in and if the rest slides in after, well that ain't my fault, 'cause after all I'm a full grown man if you catch my drift."

What? Oh...hello. I didn't see you all standing there. Uh, thanks for dropping by, let's go ahead and get started.

• Ask your sexy lady job applicant if she's good with her hands. If she says she is, then tell her to give you a hand job. If she don't slap you or leave in a huff screaming about her 'rights' then she's cool with you.
• Ask her if she has a green thumb and likes to plant things. If she says yes then tell her you can get her a job planting tulips. Get it? Planting two lips! If she ain't hired a lawyer by now, then you're almost home free homey.
• If she does make noises about getting an attorney, tell her you're a lawyer and offer to show her your briefs.
  
• Next you take her to a church and when she asks when you're taking her there, tell her you just wanted to show her the organ.
• Or you could just get her alone in your car or other small enclosed space and reach under dress or skirt, feel around for her coochie, and then pull her head to your crotch.
  

That's right y'all, I'm all about helping the sexy ladies. Hell y'all, I'd even help Princess Nancy Pelosi. I'd help her perfect her black snake moan if you catch what I'm saying.

Okay, that's all for now. Remember, this shit was off the record. If the Democrat media gets a hold of what I just said they'd crucify me.

Ghouls and robbers

They cheered for the prospect of people dying because they had no health insurance at the Republican debate tonight. And as if that wasn't bad enough, they cheered when Rick Perry said that the programs that brought us out of the Great Depression and that keep millions of people out of poverty are wrong.

I would love for Rick Perry to get the nomination of his party. He'd spend the next year defending the position that Social Security, the most loved and cherished piece of legislation ever, is wrong and should be scrapped. I can see millions of seniors voting against him because of that one issue alone.

So to recap, Republicans want more money to kill people in wars but no money to keep people alive. And what money there is that's keeping seniors and disabled folks afloat, they want to take away. Yeah, that's some sound strategy.

What they were really thinking during the Republican debate the other night

"If people don't like my position on an issue they can wait a few weeks and I'll change it."

"I'm not gay and I'll kill someone with my bare hands to prove it."

"Why do so many people like to ignore me?"

"Golly gee, I wish the Federal Reserve would stop stalking me. And I have to poop."

"I'm still running for president and boy am I horny. I wonder if that woman in the third row fourth seat over would let me jerk off on her..."

"I'd like to fuck a tax cut senseless. Wait. Did I say that out loud? If I did I didn't mean to because by tax cut, I meant a dude's bottom."

"Jesus loves me best. And I bet Ron Paul has to poop."

Bring on the idiots!

A crowd of hardcore Republicans reacts to the news that Tim Pawlenty has ended his run for the Republican nomination:


Michele Bachmann wins the Ames straw poll after busing in supporters to vote for her. Sorry Michele, there aren't enough buses in the world for you to pack with people to make you POTUS.

Ron Paul (R=Racist, TX) finishes second in the Iowa straw poll and he gets no love. His racist rants come to light and they get no press. What's a cranky old man who wants to privatize everything under the sun got to do to get love? Blow a guy in an airport? Get caught drunk driving? Father a hateful racist eye doctor who grows up to be a Senator from KY?

Rick Perry says that Obama could have chosen to serve his country by serving in the military but he chose not to do so, so that means he must not be patriotic. Gee, who the fuck does Obama and those hundreds of millions of other Americans who didn't serve in the military think they are? Fucking traitors. All right thinking people know that law abiding tax paying citizens who don't serve in the in military hate their country.

Mittens 'Flip Flop' Romney says, "Corporations are people my friend." He's wrong on both counts.

Upsetting news

Little Mary was so upset that Tim Pawlenty quit the race for the Republican nomination that she cried her little eyes out. Her eyes were so full of tears that she didn't see the open manhole cover and she fell down in to the sewer.

Little Mary hit her head when she fell and it knocked some sense in to her. After she recovered she stopped hating gays and the poor. So really, T Paw dropping out was a blessing in disguise for everyone because Mary became a nicer more compassionate person and the USA dodged being saddled with a boring spineless Minnesotan President.

The current Republican Presidential field is:

That's right they're all toast. And here's why:

• Newt's top level staff left him yesterday, en mass. That's never a good thing. He's also got that nasty ethics thing from years back to defend, his infidelities, and all those crazy statements he's made through out the years, they'll be back to haunt him.
• Santorum, Bachmann, and Quitter Palin will all split the extreme right wing religious vote, thus ensuring that the extreme right wing religious vote will mean nothing in the up coming primaries and caucuses.
• Mittens is a serial flip flopper. His hedge fund henchman buddies may love him but his flip flops will cost him. Plus he's a Mormon.
  
• Ron Paul is too libertarian and crotchety.
  
• Herman Cain can't keep his story straight and he's a one trick pony in a field of also rans.
• Gary Johnson is unknown outside of New Mexico and the office of NORML.
• Jon Huntsman will never survive his objections to ethanol subsidies and the fact that he worked in the Obama administration.
• Pawlenty will bore many to death before he bows out before Super Tuesday. He'll hang out and beg who ever get the nomination to make him the choice for Vice President.

Obama is vulnerable, especially because he chooses to piss all over his base, but against this field of candidates, he's going to be reelected.

Things that will happen before Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Sarah Palin, or Michele Bachmann become President

• The earth will stop spinning.
• We will have marriage equality in the USA.
• The Cubs will win the World Series.
• The IMF will go broke.
• Christians will stop being hypocritical sanctimonious assholes.
• I'll win the Powerball and Mega Millions jackpots.
• 'Birthers' and teabaggers will become sane rational people.
• Salma Hayek will bear my love child.
• Pigs will fly.
• Michelle Malkin will show the world her penis.
• Pat Robertson and all other TV evangelists will admit they made up all that shit and they'll give back all the money they took from gullible people.
• I'll get a tattoo while being serenaded by the dulcet tones of death metal bands.

So, yeah, in other words, none of those delusional conservatives in the title of this post will ever be elected President of the United States. It's. Not. Going. To. Happen.

Rick Santorum is a nice guy

He's so nice in fact that he wants to give the people of Iowa a chance to hate him as much as the people of Pennsylvania do. Run Ricky, run!