- The earth will stop spinning.
- We will have marriage equality in the USA.
- The Cubs will win the World Series.
- The IMF will go broke.
- Christians will stop being hypocritical sanctimonious assholes.
- I'll win the Powerball and Mega Millions jackpots.
- 'Birthers' and teabaggers will become sane rational people.
- Salma Hayek will bear my love child.
- Pigs will fly.
- Michelle Malkin will show the world her penis.
- Pat Robertson and all other TV evangelists will admit they made up all that shit and they'll give back all the money they took from gullible people.
- I'll get a tattoo while being serenaded by the dulcet tones of death metal bands.
[The Daily] Mehrdad Oskouei at Anthology
1 hour ago