Saturday, September 10, 2011

What they were really thinking during the Republican debate the other night

"If people don't like my position on an issue they can wait a few weeks and I'll change it."

"I'm not gay and I'll kill someone with my bare hands to prove it."

"Why do so many people like to ignore me?"

"Golly gee, I wish the Federal Reserve would stop stalking me. And I have to poop."

"I'm still running for president and boy am I horny. I wonder if that woman in the third row fourth seat over would let me jerk off on her..."

"I'd like to fuck a tax cut senseless. Wait. Did I say that out loud? If I did I didn't mean to because by tax cut, I meant a dude's bottom."

"Jesus loves me best. And I bet Ron Paul has to poop."


PENolan said...

Thank you, Doctor. I could not tolerate the very idea of the debates - much less watching them. The whole thing makes much more sense now.

kirby said...

Good gravy, Santorum looks like he just oozes stupidity. Besides, you know, fecal matter and lube.

Mnmom said...

I didn't need to watch the debates, because you have summed it up perfectly. Absolutely perfectly.

Chance said...

Wow, that was fantastic.

Ole Phat Stu said...

You have a GOP candidate called Santorum?

That's hilarious ; and somehow typical ;-)

Margaret Benbow said...

Rick Perry has that monkey look, like Dubya.

ReaderRita said...

If any of these cretins end up as President, we're screwed.