There was another fatal killer whale attack at Sea World in Florida yesterday. The whale, not the one pictured here, killed one of the people who was 'training' it.
The lesson we need to take from this case is: STOP TRYING TO TAME WILD ANIMALS. NO SHIT, SERIOUSLY, STOP IT.
Seriously people, it's not that hard of a lesson. We seen this kind of thing hundreds of times before. Lion tamers get attacked when they try to make lions behave abnormally. People who mess with tigers get attacked, same goes with those who mess with elephants. Chimps and monkeys attack eventually. And why do they keep doing it? BECAUSE THEY ARE WILD ANIMALS. No matter how you dress them up, no matter if you live side by side with them, no matter if you give them a name and imagine they love you like you love them, THEY ARE NOT DOMESTICATED ANIMALS AND THEY WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. That goes for whales, jungle cats, wolverines, Tasmanian devils, bears, wolves, coyotes, some species of birds (don't get me started on people who keep birds in cages), kangaroos, and most every animal known to man that is not a dog or a cat, and sometimes those animals will kill you too.
It's just insane that we keep trying to 'train' or 'tame' wild animals. The desire is nothing more than human hubris rearing it's ugly head once again. And where did this hubris originally come from? You guessed it, from the people who brought such things as original sin, papal infallibility, and the virgin birth, it came from Christians. In their book of fairy tales it says that man is supposed to have dominion, or in other words, control, over the earth and all it's creatures. And that dominion is granted by their god and since their god loves them then he must have made all the animals to love them too, so it's totally okay to rip an animal out of it's natural habitat in order to dress it up like a human or to make it jump through flaming a hoop so it can eat food that it didn't hunt and kill.
Well, guess what's wrong with that picture, I'm sure you'll figure it out pretty soon, unless you're an idiot who has a raccoon as a pet or who thinks it would be totally cool to make a badger and a a cat mate so you sell the offspring or make them fight the hobo's who live near the underpass. What's wrong with that picture is that wild animals don't want to wear trousers and a bowler hat and they don't want to be hand fed by someone who has a MA in English lit but doesn't have enough common sense to keep his or her hands out of the mouths of wild fucking animals. Whales really don't want to live in above ground pools and do four shows a day where they get to balance balls on their noses, they want to roam the ocean where they can live freely and interact with their own kind and they want to hunt their own food. Chimps don't want to ride bikes and shit in diapers, they want to live in the jungle and throw their shit at each other. Tigers don't want to be fawned over by a couple of Germanic gay guys who wear more sequins than the entire group of this years Olympic figure skaters, they want to prowl the badlands of Asia and to hump other tigers. Lions don't want to be poked and prodded by some asswipe in a top hat, they want to stalk their prey in the savanna in Africa. No matter what some book written in the Bronze age says,
we don't have control over the animals who we share this planet with. The problem here is animal based amusement parks and circuses. Let's be clear here, animals are not here for our amusement, that's what the tea partiers are for, animals are here because they play a crucial part in the life cycle of this planet. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for zoos because I think they are important learning centers and they do great work in saving endangered species. Zoos are not the problem. It's stupid people who insist on believing the antiquated notion that we can bend wild animals to our whims who are the problem.
When I lived in Knoxville I remember reading about some idiots who were visiting the national park in the Smokies. They were out hiking and they saw one animal attack another and they became enraged so they started throwing rocks and sticks at the attacker. A park ranger was nearby and he stopped the idiots and he asked them why they did such a thing. They told him they didn't want to see the small defenseless little animal get hurt by the big mean bully animal. The ranger then explained to them all about how animals in the wild operate. He told them that's how meat eaters survive, they hunt and they kill other animals and they eat their flesh and bones. I'm sure the idiots had a hard time understanding his point when you consider they probably grew up on a diet of Disney cartoons where all animals are cute, funny, and oh so human.
It's sad that some people haven't evolved enough to understand that animals are not human and they don't really exist to amuse and entertain us. And honestly, the people who don't understand that
deserve to be eaten, mauled, and maimed by any animal they try to train or tame.
Thanks for a great 21st winter Olympiad Canada. You cats pulled it off nicely and with great aplomb. But to those countrymen and women of yours who were disparaged the games coming to your fine country, I say, "Up yours, eh." 
The pope sez: "Those priests and parishioners who still cling to 'liberation theology' are to blame for this disaster."
The Great Spirit sez: "Earthquakes are natural disasters that are caused the shifting of the tectonic plates that the continents and everything else on the surface of the earth rests upon, they aren't punishment for a damn thing you small minded morons."
Moron Jesus sez: "If only those Chileans had accepted me and Mormonism, then this would not have happened. It's all written down on some golden plates somewhere, they're the ones I didn't let Joseph Smith see."
Leader of the Christians, Pat Robertson, today released the following statement of blame for the massive earthquake in Chile:
Yep. He's the greatest ever and most of you have never heard of him. What makes him so great you wonder, well hang on and I'll tell you. 
And those genes did well in Salt Lake because Jim Shea slid to gold in the skeleton event and he dedicated his medal to his late grandfather, the greatest winter Olympian the USA has ever produced.
And yes, monkeys and apes figure into each story. It's classic!
Never mind the fact that's it racist, the fact is it's ignorant of the reality that for many low income and urban women Planned Parenthood clinics are the only source of affordable health care available. "Reproductive clinics are frequently a first line of medical care for women near the poverty line. According to Planned Parenthood's annual report, only 3 percent of its services are abortion-related. Like many family-planning clinics, the organization not only provides a full range of reproductive health care to women, it also provides basic medical care -- from physicals to flu shots -- for 3 million men and women annually. Despite what anti-choicers say, the prevalence of Planned Parenthood clinics in low-income urban areas has little to do with targeting poor women and women of color for abortion. Low-income areas are simply less likely to have multiple options for health care, and the organization is filling that void," this quote comes from this source. 
It's so sweet, isn't it? A bit ironic considering my irascible personality but still, it's very sweet of her to give it to me. Thanks Laura. 
And that proves yet again that great minds think alike. Thanks guys, your blogs are pretty darn spiffy too. 
Joannie Rochette is Canadian of the year up to this point.
After losing her mother to a massive heart attack on Sunday she went out and skated the lights out on Tuesday and almost skated flawlessly last night. She skated her way to the bronze medal and she skated her way into our hearts here at Monkey Central.
Computer date fuck up or gangbang waiting to happen?
The lesson we need to take from this case is: STOP TRYING TO TAME WILD ANIMALS. NO SHIT, SERIOUSLY, STOP IT.
Artists can do anything. And they always get the hot chicks. 
This is the second Phillip K. Dick book I've read. The first was Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? which I loved, but oddly enough I despised the movie version of it, which you may know as the film Blade Runner.
3) Blogging and the internet in general.
5) Worldwide sporting events like the Olympics, Grand Slam tennis tournaments, and the World Cup.
or fashion design.
7) Books. And that includes comic books and graphic novels. I'll also toss in libraries and book stores in this one as well.
8) Beer.
9) Cooking and gardening.
My list changes from day to day but this one is pretty representative of what I'm diggin' on these days. Please feel free to tell everyone what you're diggin' on on your blog and not in the comments section of mine. And there's also no need to tell me if you hate or disagree with any of the things I put in my list.
Ms. Tessa Virtue is
the first ever second brunette of the week.
She's also the one half of the gold medal Canadian ice dancing team.
I'm giving her a gold medal for being 'Hubba hubba!' and for not wearing one of those cheesy flesh colored t-shirts under her oh so striking dress, there's nothing like a bare back, especially hers. She's not only a gorgeous ice dancer and graceful artist athlete, she's also a gracious competitor.
left them all with a warm fuzzy feeling inside their cold small hearts.
...I loved the photo on the cover of this vintage Art in America magazine so much that I had to buy it. I got it at Book Lovers Warehouse on the Jonesborough highway, in the old Food Lion shopping center. That place is a treasure trove of cool and funky used books and vintage/retro magazines. Be aware though, that the owner, an old man with a wild and unruly beard who smells faintly of stale urine, is one of those guys who loves to make a comment about each and every one of the things you buy. He'll even stand there and stare at a book or magazine for a moment until he thinks up a 'good enough' comment about it.
What a crock of shit. Those bastards at the IOC would stomp a new born baby's head in if they thought it would bring them some corporate cash and more sponsorships. The stinking hypocrites must not be getting enough cash kick backs from Uvex so they want to stop them from cashing in a bit on Vonn's celebrity.
If you've read my blog for just about any length of time you know I love to stir the pot and to stick it to the corporate man. So this next sentence is for the asswipes at the IOC:
Congrats to Amy Williams for being the first Brit in 30 years to win an individual gold medal in winter Olympic competition.
Well done you.
...the missionaries would accept the gift of the little girl and leave her and the rest of the wild pigs alone. Pigs hate it when you try to convert them to your twisted religion.
There were about 150 of them.
I tried to catch as many as I could in some photographs.
However they didn't like me taking their picture.
So they shit all over Sparky's car.
