Some people are idiots

There was another fatal killer whale attack at Sea World in Florida yesterday. The whale, not the one pictured here, killed one of the people who was 'training' it.
The lesson we need to take from this case is: STOP TRYING TO TAME WILD ANIMALS. NO SHIT, SERIOUSLY, STOP IT.

Seriously people, it's not that hard of a lesson. We seen this kind of thing hundreds of times before. Lion tamers get attacked when they try to make lions behave abnormally. People who mess with tigers get attacked, same goes with those who mess with elephants. Chimps and monkeys attack eventually. And why do they keep doing it? BECAUSE THEY ARE WILD ANIMALS. No matter how you dress them up, no matter if you live side by side with them, no matter if you give them a name and imagine they love you like you love them, THEY ARE NOT DOMESTICATED ANIMALS AND THEY WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. That goes for whales, jungle cats, wolverines, Tasmanian devils, bears, wolves, coyotes, some species of birds (don't get me started on people who keep birds in cages), kangaroos, and most every animal known to man that is not a dog or a cat, and sometimes those animals will kill you too.

It's just insane that we keep trying to 'train' or 'tame' wild animals. The desire is nothing more than human hubris rearing it's ugly head once again. And where did this hubris originally come from? You guessed it, from the people who brought such things as original sin, papal infallibility, and the virgin birth, it came from Christians. In their book of fairy tales it says that man is supposed to have dominion, or in other words, control, over the earth and all it's creatures. And that dominion is granted by their god and since their god loves them then he must have made all the animals to love them too, so it's totally okay to rip an animal out of it's natural habitat in order to dress it up like a human or to make it jump through flaming a hoop so it can eat food that it didn't hunt and kill.

Well, guess what's wrong with that picture, I'm sure you'll figure it out pretty soon, unless you're an idiot who has a raccoon as a pet or who thinks it would be totally cool to make a badger and a a cat mate so you sell the offspring or make them fight the hobo's who live near the underpass. What's wrong with that picture is that wild animals don't want to wear trousers and a bowler hat and they don't want to be hand fed by someone who has a MA in English lit but doesn't have enough common sense to keep his or her hands out of the mouths of wild fucking animals. Whales really don't want to live in above ground pools and do four shows a day where they get to balance balls on their noses, they want to roam the ocean where they can live freely and interact with their own kind and they want to hunt their own food. Chimps don't want to ride bikes and shit in diapers, they want to live in the jungle and throw their shit at each other. Tigers don't want to be fawned over by a couple of Germanic gay guys who wear more sequins than the entire group of this years Olympic figure skaters, they want to prowl the badlands of Asia and to hump other tigers. Lions don't want to be poked and prodded by some asswipe in a top hat, they want to stalk their prey in the savanna in Africa. No matter what some book written in the Bronze age says, we don't have control over the animals who we share this planet with.

The problem here is animal based amusement parks and circuses. Let's be clear here, animals are not here for our amusement, that's what the tea partiers are for, animals are here because they play a crucial part in the life cycle of this planet. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for zoos because I think they are important learning centers and they do great work in saving endangered species. Zoos are not the problem. It's stupid people who insist on believing the antiquated notion that we can bend wild animals to our whims who are the problem.

When I lived in Knoxville I remember reading about some idiots who were visiting the national park in the Smokies. They were out hiking and they saw one animal attack another and they became enraged so they started throwing rocks and sticks at the attacker. A park ranger was nearby and he stopped the idiots and he asked them why they did such a thing. They told him they didn't want to see the small defenseless little animal get hurt by the big mean bully animal. The ranger then explained to them all about how animals in the wild operate. He told them that's how meat eaters survive, they hunt and they kill other animals and they eat their flesh and bones. I'm sure the idiots had a hard time understanding his point when you consider they probably grew up on a diet of Disney cartoons where all animals are cute, funny, and oh so human.

It's sad that some people haven't evolved enough to understand that animals are not human and they don't really exist to amuse and entertain us. And honestly, the people who don't understand that deserve to be eaten, mauled, and maimed by any animal they try to train or tame.