Wanna hear a good one?

Sarah Palin said that President Obama was too lazy to investigate the VA 'scandal.'  Yes, you read that right, the woman who was too lazy to serve her full term as the governor of one of the least populated states in the union, called someone else lazy.

No shit.  She really did.

Fame whore bitches about being famous

"Sure I was a candidate for the vice presidency, a half term governor of Alaska, the subject of a reality TV show, a book writer, a TV pundit, and my daughter has a TV show, but honestly, how do John Kerry and the Democrats know who I am?  I'm just a mom who has relentlessly used her family and her politics to get famous but how do they know who I am?  Yes, I'm on Fox News, Discovery, and any other TV network that will have and pay me, but just because I'm famous doesn't give them the right to talk about me.  Honestly, the things people think they can get away with just because I'm a celebrity.

Now, who wants to pay for my autograph or to have my picture taken with them?

Hey, where are you all going?

Come back!

Stop attacking my family!

PAY ATTENTION TO ME!"

Three dicks and a dolt

• Congrats Andy Bitemart, you got one. You can hang Weiner's penis on your belt of liberal scalps. And then you can pet it, stroke it, and fondle it to your hearts content.
  
• Well done Weiner. You gave that idiot Bitemart some journalistic cred. The same rules that apply to hypocritical Republicans also apply to you. Get caught and you pay the price. What you did before you got married is none of my business, but what you did after you got hitched while in office, well that's just fucking dumb and you deserve any repercussions that happen. Fucking idiot.
• John Edwards, you're an even bigger idiot than Weiner. You think you're too smart or too good to go to jail for breaking the law. You're not. You may actually beat the rap on this indictment but you'll always be guilty in the court of public opinion. You're finished. Toast. No one gives a shit what you say or do anymore. You make me ashamed that I supported you. And you defame your dead wife with every breath you take you piece of shit. I'd like to meet you face to face someday so I could bitch slap you, you disgusting piece of shit. Oh, and the whore you had a kid with, she's a disgusting piece of shit too. You deserve each other.
  
• Quitter Palin refuses to admit she flubbed her history. You know what? I don't expect her to know history, after all she kept changing colleges and then she had all those kids to raise while she prayed for Jesus to come back so he could smite the gays. So, heck fire, she just didn't have time to learn that Paul Revere wasn't warning the British or ringing bells. But what I do expect from her, although why I expect it is beyond me since she's proven that she won't ever ever EVER do the right thing, is to admit she got her history wrong and to move on. In her world asking her the time of day is a 'gotcha' question and to admit you got a fact wrong is a sign of weakness that willfully ignorant people can't allow. If she did allow herself that she got something wrong then her followers would tear her apart. She'd no longer be the alpha bitch and she and her coterie of crazy coots can't have that.
  

My James O'Keefe style interview with Sarah Palin

Ms. Palin, do you mind if I call you 'Quitter' Palin instead of Sarah Palin?
"...I agree..."

How do you feel about politicians who get elected to office and who not only serve their entire terms, they also do a good job for the people they serve?
"It's a disturbing trend."

Okay, fair enough. Let's talk about your vagina. It it could talk, what would it say?
"How sad that Washington and the media will never understand...No drought threat down here...Only dead fish go with the flow."

Is your 'Aunt Flow' here with you now? Do you still ride the crimson wave?
"Ohh, good, thank you, yes."

The word on the street is that you people who live in Alaska like to get shit faced and have sex with family members, moose, and any stray Canadian that happens by. Is that true? Do all Alaskans do that?
"Alaska -- we're...unlike other states in the union..."

I understand that, but my question remains, do you people in Alaska get shitfaced and have sex with relatives, animals, and stray Canadians?
"Absolutely..."

What animals have you personally had intercourse with while you lived in Alaska?
"All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years."

I hear you and Ted Haggard smoked meth together while he gave George W. Bush a hand job. I also know you have photos of this. Where are they?
"I'll try to find you some and I'll bring them to you."

If elected President will you round up all those who disagree with you? Will you put them into camps where they are forced to listen to right wing hate radio for 24 hours a day? And will you see to it they're fed cold oatmeal mixed with feces? Will you do that? Can you do that?
"...I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can't."

You have a twisted view of the Bible and Christianity as a whole. Are you secretly a Satan worshiping NASCAR fiend who sups on the blood of unbaptized infants? Do you murder drifters, hobos, homosexuals, atheists, and mentally challenged people for sport and for the glory of your lord Lucifer?
"Absolutely. Yup, yup."

There you have it people, Sarah Palin admitted to having incestuous sex, bestiality, smoking meth with Ted Haggard, and much more. She also admitted she's planning to round up and imprison all those who oppose her. Clearly this woman is unfit to be a candidate for President and unfit to be on TV.

(All of Ms. Palin's responses were actual quotes from her. Sure, they're responses to other questions than the ones I pose but they are her responses nonetheless. I asked, she answered.)

Perverts

Another Martin Luther King Jr. Day has come and gone and Glenn Beck is trying once again to claim King's mantle. But to do that is to pervert King's message. King was pro union, Beck anti union. King was pro social justice, Beck is anti social justice. King was anti war, Beck is pro war. King was for economic equality for all, Beck is for the rich ruling class. King was non violent, Beck is pro violence. It was a badge of honor among conservatives to hate King, especially after he came out against the Vietnam war, so for Beck to claim to be a conservative and to claim King's mantle is another of his delusions and a perversion of history.

Sob sister Sarah Palin, America's most wronged woman and our nation's most perpetually victimized female, once again made the Tuscon shootings all about her. She went on that Fox Noise show and she decried all her detractors. She cried that people were twisting her words in order to criticize her and to get her to sit down and shut up. She wailed that the shootings in Tuscon were the act of an insane person who was in no way influenced by political hate speech. She sobbed that those who politicized the shootings were morally despicable and then she turned around and said that the shooter was a left leaning activist. Once again Ms. Quitter perverts the truth and reality. No one wants her to shut up, in fact most of us wish she'd talk more, especially to some real news outlets like the New York Times, NBC, CNN, CBS, ABC, The Daily Show, This Week in NASCAR, anyone but those softball lobbing toast jockeys at Fox. It would be a huge win for her if she did talk to some other news outlet other than Fox because she can say what she likes then go on Fox and recant it all and claim that they perverted her words and the meaning behind them, she can be the victim yet again.

Palin and Beck, what a couple of perverted twits.

Don't fence me in, because Fox News can't see me if you do

So Quitter Palin made her hubby Todd put up a fence to keep Joe McGinniss's prying eyes away from the nubile bodies of her children. How very "protective" of her.
The endeavor gave Todd something to do besides guarding the baby making holes of his screechy wife. And it kept him off his snowmobile, which the grass of Alaska is thankful for.

But honestly Quitter, this isn't about some well known author of true crime books peeping on you and Bristol, and Trig, and Skate, and Pony Boy, and Jimmy Sue, and Digger, and the rest of your clan. No one but you gives a shit about your kids, and by the way you chase the almighty dollar, I'm not sure you really give a shit about them either.

Everybody knows this is about you doing what you do best, playing the martyr. You did it so well during your abortion of a campaign with Old Man McCain, I mean how dare the press ask you what newspapers you read? We all knew you only read the ones that do stories about you, and only flattering ones at that. Your martyrdom grew after you saw that you couldn't cash in on your sudden fame if you stayed in office so you did what people like you do do best in the face of adversity, you quit your job and blamed the media and mean ol' liberals for making you do it. Hell girl, you learned the lesson that you've got to exploit the conservative dullards while the iron is hot.

What's going on in your neighborhood isn't about some old guy stalking and peeping on your kids, heck McCain did that enough to last them a life time. What it's all about Ms. Quitter, is the fact that you're afraid that you'll be exposed for the dolt you are. You spout aphorisms that you heard someone else say that got a huge response by the intellectual midgets you claim to represent. The fact that you speak in code and think it's the height of intelligence, is an insult to anyone with a gram of intelligence. You live in fear that your minions will turn on you and that the media you so love to despise but which you secretly love will actually stop treating you with kid gloves.

McGinniss's book will be what your 'news' network isn't, fair and balanced. It'll be full of those things you hate so much, facts. It will contain interviews with people who have known and worked with you. It will contain stories and anecdotes that can be double and triple checked.

Remember Quitter, you're a celeb now. You're fair game for whoever wants to write a book about you and your life. This is still, after all, a feee country where writers can still pick and choose who to write books about. You wrote a book about your life, so why shouldn't other people? It's un-American to deny someone the chance to pursue their work. You're all about being American aren't you Quitter? Or have you quit on that too?