Sunday, March 20, 2011

My James O'Keefe style interview with Sarah Palin

Ms. Palin, do you mind if I call you 'Quitter' Palin instead of Sarah Palin?
"...I agree..."

How do you feel about politicians who get elected to office and who not only serve their entire terms, they also do a good job for the people they serve?
"It's a disturbing trend."

Okay, fair enough. Let's talk about your vagina. It it could talk, what would it say?
"How sad that Washington and the media will never understand...No drought threat down here...Only dead fish go with the flow."

Is your 'Aunt Flow' here with you now? Do you still ride the crimson wave?
"Ohh, good, thank you, yes."

The word on the street is that you people who live in Alaska like to get shit faced and have sex with family members, moose, and any stray Canadian that happens by. Is that true? Do all Alaskans do that?
"Alaska -- we're...unlike other states in the union..."

I understand that, but my question remains, do you people in Alaska get shitfaced and have sex with relatives, animals, and stray Canadians?

What animals have you personally had intercourse with while you lived in Alaska?
"All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years."

I hear you and Ted Haggard smoked meth together while he gave George W. Bush a hand job. I also know you have photos of this. Where are they?
"I'll try to find you some and I'll bring them to you."

If elected President will you round up all those who disagree with you? Will you put them into camps where they are forced to listen to right wing hate radio for 24 hours a day? And will you see to it they're fed cold oatmeal mixed with feces? Will you do that? Can you do that?
"...I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can't."

You have a twisted view of the Bible and Christianity as a whole. Are you secretly a Satan worshiping NASCAR fiend who sups on the blood of unbaptized infants? Do you murder drifters, hobos, homosexuals, atheists, and mentally challenged people for sport and for the glory of your lord Lucifer?
"Absolutely. Yup, yup."

There you have it people, Sarah Palin admitted to having incestuous sex, bestiality, smoking meth with Ted Haggard, and much more. She also admitted she's planning to round up and imprison all those who oppose her. Clearly this woman is unfit to be a candidate for President and unfit to be on TV.

(All of Ms. Palin's responses were actual quotes from her. Sure, they're responses to other questions than the ones I pose but they are her responses nonetheless. I asked, she answered.)