Some good news for a change!!

Hey everybody, Paul Wolfowitz has a new job!

He's touring with Barbra Eden in a musical version of 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?' They should be hitting a theatre near you sometime soon so go see it!

You Stay Classy Wolfie!

Some of you may be wondering what our old pal Paul Wolfowitz is up to now that he lost his job at the World Bank. Well, we are pleased to report that he's been giving interviews. Not to worry though, he still won't take any blame for his wrong doing, just like his old bosses in the corrupt Bush junta.










As the ten and a half readers of this blog will remember, we told you he broke up with this fine piece of womanhood.

Not to worry though, he's back in "da game" as the kids say. He's dating an old buddy from Washington DC. We just know that when we see him he'll tell us that "only a man knows what a man likes." Grr, tiger, grrrr.

He's been doing a bit of traveling as well since he left his World Bank job. Our photogs caught up with him here in Kosovo where he was about to devour this young Albanian baby in memory of his old pal Slobodan Milosevic.

In addition to his new paramour, Paul's got other swell people he now calls 'friends.' This group of folks just got done hearing a story about how Paul single handedly got us into the war that killed every single terrorist out there. You can see how awed they are by his tall tales.

So don't you worry about ol' Paul. He's gonna be just fine. As long as he stays classy that is!!!!

Monica, Paul, and Apollo

Well well, she finally spoke today. The pride of Regent School of Scriptural Law finally answered some questions put to her by Congress.


Lil' Miss Monica stuck to the testimony script laid out by so many Bush administration people that have gone before her. She denied doing anything wrong and blamed others for any wrong that may have been done.


When asked about her politicization of the hiring process at the Justice Department, Lil' Miss Sunshine said, "I know I crossed the line. But I didn't mean to." And with that statement she joins the ranks of so many others who did things that they did not "mean" to do. People like Charlie Manson, he did not "mean" to get caught, Idi Amin, he did not "mean" to be so mean, and Saddam Hussein, he did not "mean" to piss off Georgie Jr so much. That's some stellar company for you to be in Miss Monica, way to go hon. You sure followed through on that college promise to make the world a better place!!!


Poor Paul. He not only lost his job this week, he also lost his woman, if you can believe anything that is printed in a Murdoch newspaper that is.

Dude, trust us when we say that you'll find love again. There's bound be another chick with low self esteem who digs comb licking guys like you out there. Remember this Paul, 'tis better than to have loved and lost your job as President of the World Bank than never to have loved at all.




South Korea erupted in riots when it was announced that Apollo Ohno won the latest Dancing With The Stars competition last night. They claim that he interfered a dancer from Seoul on his way to a tainted victory. Is there nothing that this young man will not do to bring shame upon the Korean nation?

Paul's peter 3

The White House keeps doing what it does best, keeping it's unqualified, amoral, unfeeling, and unabashedly idiotic appointees in office. Despite all calls for his removal the White House keeps insisting that Paul "I Didn't Do Nothin' Wrong and If You Say I Did, Then You Are a Terrorist" Wolfowitz will hang on to his job as head of the World Bank.

From the AP:
"We've made clear that we support Paul Wolfowitz," White House spokesman Tony Snow told reporters. "Furthermore, he has said -- and we agree -- that certainly a lot of mistakes were made in the personnel process. But it's not a firing offense," he added.

Thus spake Tony.



Then Condi chimed in from Moscow, where she had been sent to convince the Russians that the "missile defense" system we want to shove into Europe is not meant to threaten them at all, no sir, and how dare you insinuate such a thing, in fact you must be a terrorist for even thinking such a thing:



U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice echoed the White House's comments, which came a day after a World Bank committee said he had violated ethics rules in the promotion and pay rise for his companion Shaha Riza, a Middle East expert.
"It seems to me that what happened there, as he said, he made some mistakes but it doesn't seem to be the kind of thing that you would want to see the dismissal of a World Bank president over," Rice told reporters in Moscow.



It's obvious to us that La Condi, seen here being the filling in a reverse Oreo, is even more out of

touch than we previously thought. Condi hon, if you don't want to see a World Bank President dismissed over causing a paralyzing controversy that is causing the world community to lose what little faith they had in the rule breakin', conflict of interest havin', warmongerin' Wolfie in the first place, then what do you want to see him dismissed over? Murder? (Well, he is killing time there after all.) Rape? (Well, he is giving us all a good fucking over yet again.) Or would it take him actually doing some good for the poor and disadvantaged people of the world to get you pissed off enough to call for his firing?

Condi, Tony, and Georgie, listen up. Wolfie has got to go. So does Gonzo. And Dickie. And while you're at it, the American people expect your resignations as well.

Paul's peter 2, or What happens when the booty bounces back and bites you

We hope she was worth it Paul.

Seriously, we hope she gave you some "hot monkey love."

We hope you two had tons o' fun when you made the "beast with two backs."

Because now it looks like you are out on your

Paul, dude, seriously though, congrats. When it comes to screwing things up, screwing things over, and just plain screwing, you're three for three on your last three projects.

If you weren't such an evil blood thirsty lying right wing doucehbag, you'd be our hero.

Paul's peter and Harry, or The Difference between a Neo-Con and The British Royal Family, or Blowin' in my Wind

Don't let the resemblance to us monkeys fool you, he's no simian. He's no friend of us simians. He's no friend of humans either. What Wolfie is, is a whiny old fart. He got caught with his hand in the cookie jar and his paranoia over helping bring on the war on Iraq makes him cry, "They hate me because I used to be in the Defense Dept. I didn't do anything wrong when I got my main squeeze hired at an outrageous salary. I'm the victim here I tells ya, not all those dead Iraqis I helped kill or those pesky reporters who keep digging up the facts, why in my day we could control the press and make them say what we wanted."





From the AP: WASHINGTON - World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz on Monday decried what he called a "smear campaign" against him and told a special bank panel that he acted in good faith in securing a promotion and pay raise for his girlfriend. He reiterated that he had no plans to resign, and the President gave him a fresh endorsement.
In a prepared statement to the panel, Wolfowitz said the institution's ethics committee had access to all the details surrounding the arrangement involving bank employee Shaha Riza, "if they wanted it."

Nice job Paul, way to go. You learned from the best, your boss bush jr. It's never your fault when you get caught and if the press keeps insisting you did something wrong it's because they're part of the "liberal" conspiracy.



On the other side of the spectrum is youngest son of the late Princess Diana, young Harry. He's not afraid to step up and take responsibility. He could, and may well yet, stay home but nope. He's comitted to serving honorably, even in the misguided war on Iraq that you help get started.

You could learn a thing or two from young Harry's example.