Swag update

Bubs sent me this crazy cool vintage paperback book:

And yes, that's how we all dress down here and those of us who don't live in trailers live in houses like the one pictured above.

These happy days are yours and mine

The Queen of Halloween costumes who is a smokin' hottie all year 'round, Miss Alex, who writes the blog Fonzie Sox seems to like the stuff I churn out here every day. Miss Thang likes it so much that she gave me this award last week:
I'm always honored to be honored by my fellow bloggers and it's especially nice to be honored by one so smokin' as she is. From the bottom of my heart, thank you Miss Alex.

The deal is I'm supposed to post the rules about this award but I'm not going to. I may be a stickler when it comes to playing games by the rules but blog memes not so much. However I will go ahead and pass this one to five other bloggers. I hereby award this award to:

1. Samurai Frog for his incisive and well reasoned political posts and for his posts of hot starlets.
2. The Washington DC party animal and ape who's blog inspired me to start this blog, Dr. Zaius, gets this award also.
3. Johnny Yen gets this award for having the good sense to have the Evil Dictator as his son and for marrying Kim.
4. Bubs gets one for being hillbilly adrift in a world that he never made.
5. And finally Katie Schwartz gets one because when she's "on," no one makes me laugh harder.

Thanks again Alex for my award!

Separated at birth?

Vinny from the video game Outlaw Tennisand Chicago blogger, police detective, Elvis fan, and all around great guy, Bubs.

You be the judge.

Yo, Bubs

Chunky Elvis and I hope you have a great time in Vegas and we're pulling for you in that marathon.

I am pregnant with gratitude

Becca at No Smoking in the Skull Cave awarded me one of these

I am incredibly honored since she is one of the reasons why I began blogging in the first place. To recieve an award from someone as truly creative as she is leaves me almost speechless. If you want to see creative go to her place and look at her sketches and if she'll let you, dig through her archives and look at all her great writing and photos. Her series on under appreciated movies is astounding as is her Colin Farrell's House Party. Becca is the dream friend I always wanted and now I have, so what if we've never actually met and that we live hundreds of miles apart. I love everything she writes, photographs, sketches, and posts and I love it that she thinks highly of me and my blog o' terror.

From the bottom of my heart Becca I say, "Thank you!"

Now the other thing about getting this award is I get to turn around and give it to five bloggers. And to you five bloggers who are about to get this award from me, I don't care if you do memes or not, I want to give you this because you are funny, provocative, smart, talented, and a must read everyday. Now on with the my choices:

D Cup at Politits. No one writes about family life, popular culture, and politics more creatively than her. She is my hero and when I grow up I want to write like her and to have as rabid a following as she does.

Evil Spock at The Needs of the Few. I read his missives and I think to myself, how will I ever write as well as that? And then I remember that blogging is not a competition but I'm still jealous of the evil one.

Bubs at Sprawling Ramshackle Campground. I love how Bubs writes about his family, his cocktails, his love of Elvis, his job, and how he also tosses in features like Weenie Waver Wednesdays and Florida or Germany? I'm not gonna mention how much I like him because he sends me pictures of him and his lovely daughter holding Crunky bars. Maybe one day Miz Bubs will consent to hold some Crunky and I'll be able to complete the Bubs family trifecta.

Mad Haiku. Whats not to love? Cool collage art and haikus about everything. I'm convinced he's a feckin' genius.

And last but definitely not least, Missy from Minnesota, what is it about gals from the North country lately anway?

She's got two blogs. This one and this one. And I love them both.

So all five of my choices thanks to you for all you do and you can pass the honors along if you like. You are all great in your own way. However, the rest of you mugs on my blog roll had better shape up and start writing even better stuff than before. Who knows, maybe one day I'll toss you an honor on my way to the top.

Commence the homoeroticism!!

While out earlier today I overheard a group of Presbyterian ministers talking amongst themselves. One of them said, "Me and a bunch of guy friends watched 300 last night, we fast forwarded through the naked parts though. It was awesome!"
One of his buddies said, "Seriously though, wouldn't it be great to have abs and pecs like that?"

I couldn't figure which thing about them was sadder, their disdain for the naked human body which their God was supposed to have made in his/her image or their repressed homosexuality. I thought to myself after I heard them talking, "Bubs is gonna be spotlighting one of these guys on his Weenie Waver Wednesday feature soon."

Back early

We're back early from our mini vacation and many thanks to those who wished us well and I hope the bird of paradise poops on those of you who did not. We came back a little early because the room we had reserved sucked ass. It was at one of those hotels that offers "suites" with fully functioning kitchens, but when we took one look at our "suite" and the "fully functioning kitchen" we decided not to stay. Of course our decision ruffled the feathers of the general manager of the hotel but we think we may have placated her with our helpful suggestion that she get the rooms a tad cleaner and to try to do her best to rid her hotel of that pesky moldy smell.

After combing other hotels in the area we found out there was quite a bit going on in the area we stayed in and many places had no rooms for rent. Happily we found one at a Marriott. Unhappily, it was over $150 a night. We grumbled a bit but we knew it would be clean and mold free. They claimed it was a suite so we managed to justify our paying that much for the room.

When we got to our room we found it that their definition of a suite and our definition of a suite were two different things. Apparently boys and girls if a hotel shoehorns a desk and a couch in to a room that contains a kingsized bed and a larger than usual TV they call it a suite! It doesn't matter if the room is the same size as a regular room anywhere else and if the couch and the desk were not in there then it may be more comfortable, it's a by gosh by golly suite, so shut up mister. We decided to keep the room but to stay only one night.

All was not lost however we did go to some great locally owned restaurants. The first was North Star Diner in Weaverville, NC, we ate a late lunch there on our way into Asheville. The food, the service, and the atmosphere were all very nice. We had supper later that night at India Garden on Tunnel Road and it was very good. The next morning we went out for breakfast, which is crazy when you think about it because at $150 a night you'd think the fucking hotel would toss in a free breakfast but oh no it's not free so shut up mister, to a place called Cafe Azalea. It was a great breakfast and the cafe is a really nice place to eat. All three of these fine locally owned establishments rate very high on the MEOS, Monkerstein Eats Out Scale.

Don't weep for us too much for cutting our mini vacation short boys and girls because after all we are going to the beach for a week the first week of September.

Oh yeah, before we forget, we glad to see one of you enjoyed some Crunky while we were gone. Here's a shot a certain law enforcement officer from the Chicagoland area, his initials are Bubs, sent us:

Seriously, how cool is that? And he's even wearing a fez! Thanks Bubs for holding our Crunky while we were out of town. If we ever get arrested in the Chicagoland area we're not going to hesitate dropping your name, even if it gets us thrown under the jail and not in it!

Damn you Bubs!

I can't tell you how jealous I am of Bubs and his lovely daughter. They got to go see Amy Guth doing one of her readings live and in person!

I'll just have to wait to catch one of her live readings here in the Tri-Cities. Oh crap, I just remembered she'll never do one of them here. Damn.

Okay, I don't stay mad long Bubs. Just leep wearing the fez and we'll be cool. But still, you got to see the fabulous Ms. Guth live on stage. You are so lucky.

Curses! Tagged again!

Bubs over at Sprawling Ramshackle Campground tagged me with the five random questions meme. Here are his questions and my answers.

1. You're stuck in a flesh-eating zombie apocalypse. Would you rather deal with Romero shambling zombies who are learning to use tools and weapons, or insensible but crazy fast Dawn of the Dead remake zombies? Compare and contrast.

I'd rather deal with the George A. Romero Night of the Living Dead zombies. Those other zombies were way too damn fast and blood thirsty, but like Sarah Polley said in the "making of" DVD featurette, "The zombies can't help it, they're just being themselves."

2. Who's the first female cartoon or comic book character you had a crush on?

Jane and Judy Jetson..

3. What makes your wife/girlfriend/significant other a saint in regards to her relationship with you?

The fact that she puts up with my foolishness and has not smothered me in my sleep yet.

4. Batman

or James Bond?
James Bond hands down. I've always thought the Batman, like most every other DC comics superhero, was a uptight humorless prick. Bond is cooler, is more relaxed, and he will kill your ass if needs be. And he gets all the ladies.

5. If you could do anything in the world that you wanted to do (assuming you're not already doing it now) what would it be? For a living, for fun, whatever.

I'd travel internationally, run an organic farm, do improv comedy again, and write this blog.

Ok kiddies, now the fun part. I'm tagging Katie "Super Jewgirl" Schwartz, Matty Boy, Samurai Frog, Becca and Jess Wundrun. Your five questions are as follows:

1. Does this look infected to you?

2. What was the name of your kindergarten or first grade teacher?

3. Have you ever broken a bone in your body?

4. What's up with the humidity lately?

5. What kind of alcoholic beverage would you buy me if we went out for a drink?

You kids take some time, and answer when ready. Okay? Okay then.