She never really went away, she just left us for awhile

Everybody's favorite angry ballerina, Angry Ballerina, is back with a blog. Click here to read it. I'm not sure about you, but I sure missed her.

Congrats!

Look at these two sweet looking kids:
Aren't they beautiful? It's everyone's blog pal Angry Ballerina and her new husband. They've gotten hitched and I just wanted to congratulate them on doing so. Don't be mad I copped the photo from your blog Angry. I was going to leave a comment on your blog but since now one has to create a profile and log in to do so, I just figured it was easier to steal your beautiful picture and do a blog post over here about your nuptials.


I wish you crazy kids many years of happiness!

Happy new year!

Happy new year to all my Jewish readers! I hope all of you, especially Katie Schwartz, Angry Ballerina, Mathman and family, Amy Guth, Boxer Rebellion, and Tony Kornheiser, have a sweet successful new year.

These wishes of goodwill for my Jewish friends and neighbors do not extend to Traitor Joe Lieberman and his den of turncoats. May the ghosts of Democrats long gone haunt you forever for the way you have turned your back on the Democratic party.

Stars in my eyes

My blog bud from across the pond PJ saw fit to bestow another award on me. She named me one of her Blog Stars. How sweet is she? She seems to like my naughty jokes, my insane posts, and my blog as a whole, I wonder how she feels about the anus as a hole though. I've been a long time fan of hers and I could not be more grateful for this honor, it means alot to me especially since it comes from someone who I like so much. PJ, if you ever get to my part of TN, then you better come over for supper so I can cook for you.

The nice part of these blog awards is I get to now pass this award on to five others who I feel are my blog stars. Ready? Ok then, here we go:

1) Beth at Cup of Coffey gets one for her concert reviews, for her Friday mix tapes, and for her comments. No one rocks it like Beth rocks it.

2) Katie "Jewgirl" Schwartz gets one for being the funniest, Jewiest, craziest gal on the planet. Her menses reports crack me up and if I ever need a laugh I just click on her vagina poll from this past summer, I howl every time I read it.

3) Angry Ballernia gets one for being such an angry poignant smart funny highly entertaining twentysomething gal. On her off days she's better than most of us but don't tell her I said that or it may go to her head.

4) My little blog sister Fran of FranIAm gets one for being such a blog force for good. In a few short months Fran has taken the blog world by storm by being nice, compassionate, and so darn good that it makes me feel bad that I'm such an evil cranky bastard monkey sometimes. She's inspired an army of followers and readers and I hope she'll lead them well.

5) If Fran is my little blog sister then D Cup is my female blog alter ego, so she gets my final Blog Star award for writing such great political posts, for sharing such funny and touching stories about her family, and for just being a stand up chick in a world gone terribly wrong. I confess to checking her blog several times daily hoping that she'll post new content, what can I say, I go for the boobs but I stay for the commentary. You had me a double D, madam, you had me at double D.

*******

I hope these women will pass this along to others and not let it sit and get all moldy. All six of you ladies rock my blog world and I'm ever so glad that you do what you do.

The honors keep rolling in

The lovely and talented Fran of Franiam awarded me one of these. As I have said before I love getting these awards from fellow bloggers because it means that people are not only reading my stuff, they are responding to it. I feel like Fran is my little sister because she started her blog after mine and I was one of the first few bloggers she blog rolled, well Princess Sparkle Pony and Matty Boy were the first but why quibble when it's my feckin' blog. Fran and I have different views of religion but we agree almost 100 % when it comes to politics. Thanks so much Fran for the honor.

I in turn am supposed to award this now to five other bloggers. My choices are:

1) My brother from another mother Samurai Frog. He's not as political as most but when he writes about politics I think he's dead on. He's also the most provocative pop culture observer and reporter ever.

2) Johnny Yen may not write as much about politics and history as he used to but when he does it's a thing of beauty.

3) I think Pam at Musings of Working Mom and I were either related to one another in a past life or we were the same person. I love her take on the dirty deeds going on in DC and in the Middle East.

4) I just started reading Hill Country Gal, I have a prejudice against Texans that I am working through so no wonder I'm late to her anti Bush party. The woman is by turns mean, funny, and dazzling.

5) Angry Ballerina may not think she is a political writer but she in fact is one. All politics are local and the personal is political, as they say. No one writes better rants about addiction, body image, and life in general than the Peeved Terpsichorean girl. She's got a wisdom way beyond her years.

A pissed off terpsichorean chick asks me five feckin' questions

After reading Pam's interview with Angry Ballerina I decided it might be fun to have the Angry One interview me.

She graciously decided to accept my offer and here is the interview.

1. Ok, really, what the fuckitty fuck is with the Crunky? (this question is for my own personal knowledge)

One day while searching Flickr for stupid pictures that I could use on my blog I found a set of photos that had been tagged with the name 'foreign groceries.' I clicked on said set and saw a picture of someone holding a Crunky bar. Crunky apparently is a type of candy bar/cookie/ice cream treat that is sold in only Japan and or other parts of Asia. I laughed out loud when I saw the name so I put the word 'Crunky' in the search box on Flickr and up came all those pictures of the various Crunkys and the people who hold them. I decided to use all of them one by one in my now infamous daily feature "Who's holding our Crunky now?" It's just a stupid joke that won't die until I use up all the pictures, which should be in a week or so. The tone of it is funny to me and a few of you have gotten it as well. I realize it's not for everybody and not everybody thinks it's as funny as I do but I like that as well. I like making jokes only one or two people get.

2. Who would you rather find yourself in a drunken conversation with, Diane Fossey, or Jane Goodall?

No question about it, Jane Goodall. I've dug Jane since I first saw her on a National Geographic TV special years ago. I've had a little crush on her ever since I saw her that first time, and I'm not the only one either Johnny Yen wrote about his thang for Ms. Goodall a few weeks ago. If Jane and I did get drunk together I picture us drinking gin and tonics with lots of lime wedges or maybe some lemony vodka drinks. Seriously though, Jane is one of my heroes for her tireless work on behalf of chimps and her work educating people about the need to save not only the chimps habitat but the whole world in general.




3. "Boys everywhere, fumbling with the catches, I struck lucky with motel matches." You are obviously an Elvis Costello fan, which album, or song, would appropriately describe your life at the moment. Why?

You are correct Ms. Mad Dancer, I am indeed a huge Elvis Costello fan and I have been since the late 1970's. His music was like a bolt from the blue that hit my young head and cleared out all the adolescent cobwebs. When I first saw him on Saturday Night Live, this was the infamous episode when he made his band stop playing the song that NBC and Lorne Michaels had picked out for them to play and instead he led the Attractions through a rousing version of Radio Radio, it was like manna from heaven to me. There he was all goofy looking with his spastic movements, his black horn rimmed glasses, his bad hair cut, and I said to myself, damn if that guy had blond hair, no musical talent, was shy around girls but tried to make up for it by being funny, then he'd be me.

The Elvis album that would describe my life at the moment would be Spike. It's got songs that appeal to my sense of political outrage (Tramp the Dirt Down), my sense of social justice (Let Him Dangle), my concerns about aging (Veronica), the out of control multi national corporations who want to run our lives (This Town), and phony religious assholes (God's Comic). If I had to choose one song though, it would be The Other Side of Summer from Mighty Like a Rose because it combines a jaundiced view of the world with some humor and keen insight. Excellent question by the way, thanks for asking it.

4. I took some time and went though your flickr, what is your favorite piece of work you have displayed? What was the inspiration/story behind it?

Of the ones I've posted this one is my favorite:

The inspiration was I took a piece that I had done that I hated and I decided to paint over it. I was doing my "Plate Tectonics" series of mixed media pieces and this is a variation on them. I painted the back ground color and let it dry, then I took a piece of flimsy material that had tiny holes in it and dipped it in some yellow paint. I flogged the paint covered material on the 13" by 13" piece of wood and let it dry. Then I splatted the lavender paint on an old record album (I collect cheesy record album covers) and I pressed the album on the piece of wood. After all that paint dried I ran a picture of Diana Krall off the internet and traced it twice. I glued both faces on top of one another to get that blurry effect and then I cut the words "What Your Skin Does" out and glued them on. Then I spotted a hand I had drawn and thought it fit as well. And then finally I put a thin layer of decoupage glue over the whole thing. I like how it turned out.

My favorite that piece that I have made that I have not posted yet is one of my Princess Diana collage mixed media pieces. She is one of the few people I will not joke about or mock because I really admire her, she had it all, lost it, still gave her all for others, and was killed by the corporate media. I do intend to get off my ever growing ass and post more of my art pieces soon and I will post that one when I do.

5. In your Mother's Day post, you described two touching (and funny)memories that have stuck with you through out the years, and you said that your mother taught you to look up to people who tried to make the world a better place. Out of all the people you listed, who had the most impact on your life, and still does?

Out of the people I listed in that post, I'd have to go with the Berrigan brothers even though I am no longer a Catholic and am an atheist now. They were two Catholic priests who were anti-war and vehemently pro peace. They were some of the only religious figures that I have seen "walk the walk," so to speak. They broke into draft board offices and poured blood over files that contained names of men to be drafted, what impressed me was that the blood they poured was blood they had drawn from themselves and from other protesters. They were of course arrested and tried for this crime but that did not stop them. They kept protesting for peace and against war. They kept it up during the Reagan years and right up until Phil Berrigan died. His brother, Father Daniel, still is involved to this day, as much as his old age will allow him, in the anti war movement. They stood against the tide of support for the Viet Nam war and against racism, and their own church leadership to do what they felt was right. If I ever get to be as much as a quarter of how brave these guys were then I'll be doing damn good.

That's all folks. If you want to be interviewed by moi, then leave a comment in the comment section that says, "Interview me."

Lighten up, it's Tuesday! (All Female Edition)

It's not that you boys didn't amuse us here at el Casa de Monkey in the past two weeks, we just wanted to send some link love out to our favorite females and current crushes out there in blogland.

So without further bullspit, here is a sampling of the stuff some gals wrote that made us laugh out loud in the past few weeks:

1) I'd be careful what I said too if I had a blogger mom that wrote this well and was as smart as this one.

2) Here's a double dose of rich gooey Jewy goodness courtesy of my new Jewish princess blog crush, Katiegirl. She claims ownership of the "c" word in this first post and then in a post about her monthly "monthly" she calls it a name I've never heard it called before, oh well it's hers and she can damn well call it what she likes. Sorry Sarah Silverman, Katie is the Jew gal for me now. Unless you lift that restraining order and answer my thousands of calls, letters, text messages, and smoke signals that is. Oy, what's a goy boy got to do get some JAP love these days anyway?

3) Finally! Someone who is as fearful of the giant robot master overlord invasion as I am! You are not alone Miss Kelsi, I'm with you babe. All those years of watching bad sci fi movies will finally pay off when the robots attack.

4) Speaking of Miss Kelsi, I found her blog one day when I was looking for pictures of crazy looking cars for a post about my interview with Sam Brownback. I liked her stuff so I blogrolled her and I read her blog regularly now. In her blog roll I noticed this blog and I've been hooked ever since. Meg is my other new blog crush. When not writing about her aversion to group sex or interviewing her liver, she's appearing in the knife pictures that make Lindsay Lohan look like a spoiled little drunk coked up starlet. Keep on rockin' in the free-ish world Meg!

5) Just what guys everywhere needed, dating tips from Angry Ballerina. Ignore the pissed off Terpsichorean lass at your peril gentlemen, I however will not.


6) Any gal who makes poo jokes is a friend of ours forever.

Ladies, we thank all of you for making us laugh in these troubling times. I tip my fez to you all.

From the Department of Shamelessly Stolen From Other Blogs

I got this from my pal Dr. Zaius. I wonder if the chickenhawks who say they support the troops and yet who want to leave them over there to get shot, bombed, and maimed support this guy? I'm willing to bet everything I own that this guy represents the true feelings of our troops, but I'm also willing to bet that the members of the Bush junta don't give a shit and neither do the Jeebus lovin' SUV drivin' assholes who voted for and still support him after all his lies and blunders.


It's almost sacrilege what they've done to this great song but since it's for a good cause I'll let it pass. I found this through my new blog hero Oliver Willis. Enjoy.




And finally, it's been pimped elsewhere but you need to go read this post by Angry Ballerina. It's the reason blogs were invented in the first place.