Fran strikes again

My Albany homegirl FranSheIs sent me another postcard. She got it for me while she was in Washington DC at the separation of church and state conference.
As if that weren't enough, she got her cohorts and some of my blog buds to sign it:
Many thanks Fran for thinking of me and for getting all those reprobates to sign my card, however, Dr. Zaius and DCap, your effrontery did not go unnoticed and it will not go unpunished.

And now FranIam answers a burning question

Hey Fran, how's life in the empire state?

Okay, gotcha.

Question a day

Today's question comes to us from Fran.
What's that? Not Fran Tarkenton you say?

And not Fran Drescher either?

Yikes! That only leaves one Fran left, Fran of FranIam fame. FranSheis's question is: Do you have the answers to all the questions?

Sadly, no. I'm not some sort of guru.
While I do have many areas of expertise some of which include films, TV shows, porn actresses of the 1980's, sports, books, cardiology, board and card games, history, political science, Mesozoic rock formations, cooking, animal husbandry, African rivers and tributaries, the science of sleep, skee ball, Victorian fashions, industrial dyes, button manufacturing, cement mixing, prosthetics (but oddly enough not orthotics), German techno music, and stamp collecting, there are areas of knowledge in which I am deficient. I am not very well versed on "lady problems" that may or may not arise every 28 days or so, most mathematics, single bullet theory, classical music, baking, cellular biology, cellular phones, how to text message, and how to program an iPod. Oh and I have no expertise in the area of why conservatives are called conservative when they want to conserve nothing at all and why people think that Republicans have kept us "safe" for the past few years by starting a war we can not pay for.

Thanks for your question FranYouare!

Send in any question on any topic all month long to monkeymuckATgmailDOTcom and I'll do my best to answer them.

Story virus

**UPDATEd with Ed's paragraph**

Splotchy started it and then he gave it to Fran. She gave it to me. Here is what they wrote so far:

I woke up hungry. I pulled my bedroom curtain to the side and looked out on a hazy morning. I dragged myself into the kitchen, in search of something to eat. I reached for a jar of applesauce sitting next to the sink, and found it very cold to the touch. I opened the jar and realized it was frozen. (Splotchy)

"That's strange," I said out loud to no one in particular. My fingers slowly reached towards the jar again. My body experienced a wave of apprehension as weighted blanket covering me as I did so. The jar was completely frozen. I picked it up and stared at it, my fingers stung with little knives of chill. "What the..." again I spoke aloud. Then I realized what had happened with a shock. Suddenly the jar flew from my hand. It shattered creating a collage-like mixture of frozen applesauce and glass shards on my kitchen floor, the lid lazily rolling to a stop across the room.(FranIam)

She flicked the lid with her massive big toe. "So, I guess I'll be having another Camel for breakfast and you'll be having a breakfast date with the Electrolux." She lit her Camel cigarette as she turned to open the closet door where we kept the vacuum. "In case you're wondering how the applesauce got frozen, I seem to recall you insisting that I stick it in the freezer before we went to bed last night." She pushed the Electrolux at me and it squooshed through the rapidly unfreezing applesauce and the glass shards. "This kind of crap happens all the time when we go drinking with the Brazilians." (Dr. Monkey)

Suddenly, the front door erupted in an explosion of wood splinters. “Damn! They’ve found me!” I thought as I dove out the kitchen window. My experiments with frozen applesauce, Camel cigarettes and Electrolux vacuum cleaners were supposed to be a secret, but, apparently, they weren’t as secret as I had thought. What would happen if the formula fell in to the wrong hands? All my work, for naught! Who had leaked the information? Was it her? Or possibly one of the Brazilians? “Now the damned Department of Homeland Security will ruin everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve!” was the last thing that went through my mind before I was surrounded. (Ed from Enriched Geranium's addition)

Okay, now I tag:
Spartacus
Chris
Kristi
Anyone of you three can continue this one if you like.

Happy Birthday Fran!

Mr. and Mrs. Rusty O'Connell

and my running mate and I would like to wish FranIAm a happy birthday.

Even though you endorsed the iSplotchy for President, we all chipped in and bought you this cake, because we're nice like that. That's how we roll.

The honors keep rolling in

The lovely and talented Fran of Franiam awarded me one of these. As I have said before I love getting these awards from fellow bloggers because it means that people are not only reading my stuff, they are responding to it. I feel like Fran is my little sister because she started her blog after mine and I was one of the first few bloggers she blog rolled, well Princess Sparkle Pony and Matty Boy were the first but why quibble when it's my feckin' blog. Fran and I have different views of religion but we agree almost 100 % when it comes to politics. Thanks so much Fran for the honor.

I in turn am supposed to award this now to five other bloggers. My choices are:

1) My brother from another mother Samurai Frog. He's not as political as most but when he writes about politics I think he's dead on. He's also the most provocative pop culture observer and reporter ever.

2) Johnny Yen may not write as much about politics and history as he used to but when he does it's a thing of beauty.

3) I think Pam at Musings of Working Mom and I were either related to one another in a past life or we were the same person. I love her take on the dirty deeds going on in DC and in the Middle East.

4) I just started reading Hill Country Gal, I have a prejudice against Texans that I am working through so no wonder I'm late to her anti Bush party. The woman is by turns mean, funny, and dazzling.

5) Angry Ballerina may not think she is a political writer but she in fact is one. All politics are local and the personal is political, as they say. No one writes better rants about addiction, body image, and life in general than the Peeved Terpsichorean girl. She's got a wisdom way beyond her years.