Dr. Hossenphiffer...

...isn't buying any of your bullshit. So zip it and move along damn it.

Live nude Crunky

Dryers of the week

Stay classy Senate Republicans!

Boy oh boy, do southern Republicans know how racist they look attacking Kagan and the late Thurgood Marshall?
It's almost laughable watching Sessions and Kyl, not a southern Senator by geography but one by mind set, exhuming Marshall's corpse and flogging it. They're playing to their base who has forgotten that Marshall was the man who argued and won Brown v. Board of Education and who was on the correct side of history with so many of his judicial opinions.

It's also funny watching them attacking Kagan for not having any judicial experience when just a few years ago they were fawning over Harriet Miers who had no judicial experience.

And once again they're warning us about activist judges when all the judges that idiot Bush appointed were activist and on the side of big business and the monied elites.

Perhaps the Senate Republicans did the math and they decided they can get elected with out any black, Hispanic, or sane people voting for them. Whatever works I guess.

Actually what I hope happens is that they filibuster Kagan, Obama withdraws her name, and then he actually nominates someone who is progressive and who will tip the balance of the court back leftward.

Cucumber Pi

Boo ya!

A kid's book remix

The life of a police cadet is a very stressful one. If you are black or Hispanic then the day starts off by you getting stopped or arrested for being a non-white person.

After you're cleared of any wrong doing then you're allowed to go to the gym where you engage in homoerotic male bonding with other cadets. This bonding promotes a sense of cohesion in the ranks. And your superior officers like to watch sweaty men duking it out.
Next up is a shower and then class room training where you learn the finer points of getting around laws that protect defendants and minors.
After class it's time for more hot cadet on cadet action.
After you have another shower it's time for the daily berating.
Then back down to the gym for more sports.
While everyone is all hopped up on testosterone you're made to get dressed and you're herded off to the class room where you learn to frisk and arrest blacks and Hispanics.
Classes in getting around search warrants, planting evidence, and shaking down working class stiffs are also offered.
After all that fancy learnin', it's time for more bonding.
Black and Hispanic cadets aren't given real weapons to use until they pass all loyalty to white people and corporation tests. Once it's determined that all cadets no matter how brown, yellow, or red, will act to protect and serve white people and corporations at all times then and only then are minority cadets given weapons with live ammunition.
Usually they are so happy to get the weapons with live ammo that they go out and get drunk and run over every orange cone they can find.
Those who can still write legibly while hammered are sent to officer training school.
And at officer training school cadets go through more rigorous training and are allowed to also look at police porn.
After one final session of homoerotic male bonding, cadets must change into blue shirts and shake each others hands until the final bell of the day rings and they are sent home at eight o'clock, seven central, in the evening.
Then it's up and at 'em the next morning at six AM and the cadets do it all over again until they have mastered the basics of police work and are allowed to run roughshod over the laws and citizenry of their local jurisdictions.

Defeating the purpose

The longest line yesterday at my local farmer's market was not for fresh locally grown peppers, or tomatoes, or corn, or squash. People were not lining up for plants they could buy, take home, and plant. They weren't clamoring for locally produced cheese or meats.
Nope.

The longest line at the farmer's market today was for freshly made deep fried doughnuts.

And no, we never got into that line. We bought only fruit, goat cheese, and vegetables.

Minimalism strikes again

My never ending quest to expand your musical horizons continues

This is Marianne Dissard:
She's a French jazz singer.
Her voice and vocal stylings are really cool.
You can legally download her CD Paris One Takes by clicking here.
Trust me, you'll be glad you did.

Barn of the week

I liked this photo so much I made it the wall paper on my computer.

Trailer Park Logic

Mike Huckabee says homosexuals shouldn't have the same rights as straight people because homo sex grosses him out. And he says that his of the label 'ick factor' to describe gay sex is perfectly fine because someone else made the phrase up.

So using his logic it's okay for me to call him and his family a sick bunch of homophobic trailer park inbred Christians:
It's okay for me to call them that because that phrase was made up by someone else. And remember in Huckabee's world, it's always alright to say mean hurtful things if you didn't make the words or the phrases up yourself.

That's logic you'll only get from a sister fuckin' squirrel eating Bible totin' Arkansas asswipe. Modern conservatives, how I love you so.

Who's holding our Crunky now?

That chick from your yoga class is holding our Crunky now. She like to remind you to stop checking out her downward facing dog or she'll get the cops to enforce the restraining order once again.

Forgotten After School Specials of the 1980's

Why Can't Marcy Read?
Marcy, a pretty but lazy student, spends all her time not reading and trying to look like her idol Brooke Shields. She pays her friends to read to her but soon she ends up broke and must turn to giving hand jobs at the Dairy Queen for five bucks a throw. Her right hand becomes so powerful that she takes up arm wrestling, but in the nick of time she discovers Jesus and he teaches her how to read and to save her hymen for marriage.

A Hat for AmandaAmanda spends all her time in high school not having sex or kissing boys, consequently she gets bored. As a result or her boredom she starts doing drugs and she nearly loses her virginity to a North Korean exchange student during a wild pot party. When she turns him down and thus protecting her hymen she is rewarded by a visit from Jesus who buys her a new hat after he takes her to the prom.

Girls Just Wanna Be Chaste
When Janet gets caught using spooge as a hair gel she's sent to Vidal Sassoon's Saskatoon Camp for Wayward Girls in where she learns that heavy petting can also refer to looking after overweight animals in cages. While in camp falls for a PETA double agent who buys her sweaters made from Alpaca fur after she spanks his monkey and allows him to pet her cat. Jesus makes a cameo as a folk singing drifter with a heart of gold who teaches all the kids to love themselves.

Rainbow: First Blood, If I could Keep Time in a Bartles & Jaymes Wine Cooler Bottle Every 28 Days
Rainbow Jones gets her first period and stares wistfully off into space while wearing all the accoutrement of the 1980's, head bands, leg warmers, fingerless gloves, a hooded sweat shirt style jacket, and skin tight sweat pants. She pops Midol and Pamprin to relieve her pain but she soon discovers that Jesus, a few bong hits, and half a case of wine coolers are the best pain relievers. After making her ground breaking discovery she dedicates her life to Jesus Ramirez, a baggy full of Mekong Mind Fuck, and peach flavored wine coolers.

Shaking things up

After a long run as the house band of this blog I decided to let the Madison, WI based Motor Primitives go free. They were a great house band and they sent me swag and autographed it so it was a hard decision to let them go.

But it had to be done because it's time for a new band to set up and that new band is Banquet Hall.
Everything I have heard them play sounds really cool and I love a band that has a chick with glasses playing the bass. So please give them a warm welcome and pray they send me swag or I'll have to fire them in favor of a band that'll hook me up.

Brunette of the week

Classical guitarist Ms. Sharon Isbin.

I hope you're happy BP

Your oil spill made Evan the wonder baby cry.
You damn British bastards.

This post is brought to you by the letter 'B'

The word 'boundaries' starts with the letter 'B.' Boundaries are what Gen. McChrystal broke when he said those stupid things about President Obama, Vice President Biden, and other civilian leaders who are his bosses. When you break on the job boundaries big time like he did then you usually get fired.

The word 'bonehead' also begins with the letter 'B.' And that's what President Obama will be if he doesn't fire that insubordinate jackass Gen. McChrystal. I don't care who the president is, you can't allow military personal to denigrate, demean, or mock the civilian leaders who are their bosses. It sets a bad example and it's one step removed from them taking out leaders who they don't like.

In case you didn't catch the gist of this post, it's that the boundary bashing bonehead McChrystal should get the boot. It would be a boon to our country if we got rid of that baboon.

The cheesy adventures of old Indiana Jones

I watched the latest Indiana Jones movies a few minutes ago and I can sum it up in one picture:
Yes, it's like all the rest of the Indiana Jones movies, it's exciting, full of adventure, and fast paced. But unlike all the rest, this one is cheesy as hell.

• First off Harrison Ford is ninety something now and he shows it in this movie. There is not enough Vaseline they can smear on the camera lens to make him look younger.
• Second, do they seriously expect us to believe Shoo Fly LeBeef is going to fill the ancient shoes of Harrison Ford? Nope. Not hardly.
• Thirdly, Cate Blanchett is a fine villain but her accent drops in and out like drifter at a soup kitchen. You're a classically trained actress Cate, suck it up and keep your accent.
• Fourthly, inter dimensional beings? Really? That how you end this edition of this franchise? With inter dimensional beings flitting off to somewhere?
• And finally, I'm guessing John Hurt got tired of playing intelligent erudite characters and he took this gig so he could play the babbling village idiot. Well played Mr. Hurt. I smell lifetime Academy Award in your future after this performance!

This film isn't bad, so much as it's kind of annoying.

Candy of the week

Candy Dulfer.

There are a bunch of Democrats who feel the same way

I'm looking at you big oil whore Mary Landrieu.

Oh 1980's Esprit girl, where were you when I was single?

I liked Paris, blues, New Wave, and I was fluent in counting too.

Sign of the week

Sweet photo of the week

Evan the wonder baby looks up at his great Grandfather in the twilight of Father's Day.

A Monkey Mini Series Report

I remember watching this when it first aired way back in 1970:
I remember watching parts of it with my mother and that things I remembered most were the music and the hats the women wore. I checked out the DVD version from my local library recently and I tried to watch it again.

I made it through Henry's first wife and part way through his second before I gave up. I didn't stop watching it because the show was bad, in fact it's all quite good, the acting, the music, the direction. Nope, those things didn't put me off, what put me off was the super shitty sound quality.

They shot this series in the late 1960's when it was a badge of honor to see how cheaply one could make a BBC show, witness the Dr. Who's of this era. They did the same thing with this show. Everything was shot on a sound stage, which is not bad in and of itself, in fact that kind of thing forces the actors and all involved to be creative. But the thing about this production is that when they shot this series they evidently could not afford a boom microphone and all the mics were attached to the TV cameras. And that means that the further you are from the camera, the harder it is to hear you, which means I had to constantly turn the volume up and down and gawd help you if you had the volume up when Keith Mitchell as Henry VIII launches into one of his actorly bellowings.

I suffered through the first episode because of this woman:
If you watch British comedy or drama then you're familiar with the lovely Annette Crosbie. She's been in all kinds of shows and ever since I began really appreciating BBC stuff she looked like she does in the above photo. I was used to her as an older woman so it was kind of jarring to see her when she was a young smokin' hot actress:
She was fantastic in her episode. She played Henry's first wife Catherine with a quiet dignity that has rarely been matched and she looked very hubba hubba while doing it.

And as Henry's second wife Anne Boleyn, Dorothy Tutin was just okay in the first episode but when she got her own episode, she was fantastic.
However by the end of the Anne Boleyn episode I had had enough of the sound problem and I gave up on the rest of the series. Perhaps one day if we get a TV that allows me to equalize the sound of productions that were made on the cheap, like this one was, then I'll watch the rest.

Based on what I saw, I recommend this series but beware the sound fluctuations, they'll drive you batty.

No fatties!

I found this ad in a 1987 edition of Seventeen magazine. And all I can say about it wow, just wow. It's no wonder so many girls have fucked up body issues.