Even little European kids know what to say to Bush

Ok, who farted?

Was it Teddy?

Was it new French government minister gal?

Magic eight ball says it was this guy...

Why does that not surprise us?

BFF'S 4ever dude!!!!!

And so as Blair's time as Prime Minister of the UK comes to an end...

No, not that Blair, we were talking about this Blair, the one seen here showing us just what he's going to do when he sees his buddy Georgie Bush Jr. again.

And lucky for him, he'll be seeing our Pinhead in Chief fairly soon.

The following is from an AP story about Blair's upcoming visit to Washington DC:

The two leaders, both facing strong domestic criticism for their stance on the war, were to hold a working dinner on Wednesday night then hold more talks on Thursday before a joint news conference.

Blair, who announced last week that he will step down June 27, typically has stayed at the British ambassador's residenceWashington visits but got a special White House invitation.

"The president extended an invitation for Prime Minister Blair to stay the night at the White House and he accepted," said White House spokeswoman Dana Perino.

They planned to discuss the global war on terror, efforts to stop the conflict in Sudan's Darfur region, Middle East peace efforts and the Group of Eight summit in Germany coming up in early June.

Blair will also hand wash Bush's blood soaked underwear (tip o' the fez to Sean Penn for that lovely metaphor), allow himself to be spooned by Bush, and finally learn to tongue kiss our Idiot in Chief without gagging.

Ah Tony, you'll be missed in Washington DC. But not anywhere else you stinking traitorious fraud. As we said before, don't let the door hit that bony ass of yours on the way out.

We gots us a Czar to oversee the warrin' and stuff

Just when you think it can't get much worse in Washington DC, it does. Our Idiot in Chief went and found himself a "War Czar."

No not that Czar. That would be just stupid. Oh wait, we forgot who we're dealing with here. Seriously though, after months of searching for someone to lead our armed forces in the wars of terror on Afghanistan and Iraq, King George finally found someone dumb enough to take the job. Word out of the White House is that now that they have a Czar. all the blame for the past four years of fucking up the war will be laid at his feet, along with all future blame for fucking things up worse than before.

Call us stupid, call us naive, or just call us flat out flabbergasted that the Pinhead in Chief would have so publicly searched for someone to do the job that the fucking COMMANDER IN CHIEF is supposed to be doing. Maybe this is all part of his master plan to privatize the federal government more and more.

Anyone remember back in 1999 when he said use his MBA skills on the country if elected? Remember that? Well boys and girls, this was the man who was president of the team that traded Sammy Sosa away to the Cubs. If you will remember that at times like this then maybe some of his antics will make more sense. Holy shit, how long can this nation stand being led by a venal, unfeeling, uncaring, amoral, responsibility shirker?

Sweet Jeebus, a fucking war Czar, unfucking believable.

But what really pisses us off over this is that President Pinhead did not ask us to take the job.

We'd be willing to bet the war would have been over long ago if we'd been in charge and then this kind of photo-op shit might have actually meant something.

Ladies, don't fixate on my bulge. It'll only drive you mad with desire for some monkey lovin.'

(We fling our thanks to Dr. Zaius for this and all photoshopped photos of yours truly.)

Christian Leaders Meet With Bush

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Playin' the Blame Game, or It's not mea culpa, it's youra culpa

There are world leaders who refuse to listen to their citizens.

There are world leaders who recklessly take their nation to war based on lies.

There are world leaders who have no compunction about sending male and female soldiers to their deaths and ruthlessly bombing innocent men, women, and children.

There are world leaders whose actions are so repugnant and despised by their citizens that many call for their impeachment and resignation.

There are world leaders who refuse to take responsibility for their warmongering. They blame others for the lousy way the wars are prosecuted. They hold themselves unaccountable to the citizens of their country.

And today, another world leader joins ours in the "I Took My Country To War Based On Lies, Sent Soldiers To Their Deaths For Nothing, Bombed And Maimed Thousands of Innocent People, But I Am Not Stepping Down Because It's Not My Fault The War Is Going Badly" club.

Ladies and Gentlemen, joining our idiot President in the Hall of Shame is:

Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert!!!!!

Olmert blames his disastrous and unpopular war squarely on the Israeli Army. Maybe our President can learn a thing or two from this guy.

Letters to White Castle or How do you spell-i-fy futility?

Recently we here at Monkey Muck HQ signed an online petition to get King Georgie who lives in the White Castle to do something to help the people of Darfur. We knew it was a waste of time since he ignores what the people (and us monkeys) want, but we did it anyway just so the idiot would know where we stood.

Well tonight we got another email from the group trying to help the people of Darfur asking us to sign another petition and this one would go straight to the White Castle. We had our doubts. But lo and behold after we clicked the sign button, we got a little email missive from the address whitehouse.gov and here is what they said in their email: On behalf of President Bush, thank you for your correspondence.

We appreciate hearing your views and welcome your suggestions. Due to the large volume of e-mail received, the White House cannot respond to every message. Thank you again for taking the time to write.

We were shocked I tell ya, shocked that we actually got an email from the White Castle. Seizing our chance we fired off this reply: Respond to this message then, get this country the hell out of Iraq. And then you Mr. Bush need to resign.

We know, we know, if we were not on a watch list before, we sure as hell are now. We just hope that we can get bananas in Gitmo.

Why do we love thee Think Progress?

Because of things like this:

http://thinkprogress.org/2007/05/01/bush-timetable-2/

You make us monkeys almost glad to be so closely related to you.

Impeachment Saturday Protest Report

We just got back from the impeachment protest here in Johnson City, Tn. The turn out was light, about 15 of us, and the weather was a tad cool.

All in all though for being in a heavily Republican area of TN, we had a good show of support from drivers by who saw our protest. We got many enthusiastic thumbs up and a lot of people honked to show support. The shows of support cut across age lines and across economic lines, people who drove rust bucket bomb ass cars supported us as well as some who drove SUVs.

On the other hand there were many people who gave us the middle finger salute, some gave us the thumbs down, and others screamed unintelligible gibberish at us. One woman in a full size pick up truck slowed down and shouted at us, "Have you ever been to ground zero? you need to support the President!" I shouted back, "You need to learn the facts, Iraq had NOTHING to do with 9/11. Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11." She shouted back, "I know the facts." being the nice hairless monkey I am I corrected her, "No you don't. Iraq has nothing to do with 9/11 and you need to stop driving that gas guzzler, it's ruining the environment!" She became almost unhinged but the light turned green and she had to drive away. However about 20 minutes she drove back by and slowed down to shout, "I use this truck to make my living!" Since she was blocking traffic I shouted at her to move along and to stop holding up traffic. Reluctantly she drove off.

Like I said before Monkey Muck HQ is in a very heavily Republican part of TN, so it is very satisfying for us to do these type of protests. Why is that? Because it's good to let others who share our views and beliefs that not all simians and humans swallow the crap flows out of the White House and the corporate media. We may never change anyone's mind out here at our protests, but what we can do is to let other liberals and progressives around here know that they are not alone.

So yeah, we'll endure the cat calls, we will put up with the assholes who called us "Commies!" and "dirty Hippies," we'll take your abuse because, unlike you, we have the guts to take a stand and to use our Constitutional rights. And we will not stand idly by while King George tries to run roughshod over our civil liberties and as he leads us further into the fiasco known as the war on Iraq. His minions may hate us for saying that their King needs to be deposed but they'll love us when it's their turn to protest.

It's Heeeeeere!!!!

That's right people, it's A28, April 28th, the national day to spell out I M P E A C H and to take to the streets to show your support for throwing the bloodthirsty Constitution trampling bastards out of the White House and into a cell in Gitmo.

All staff and hangers on here at Monkey Muck HQ will be hitting the streets here in Johnson City, TN with our signs at 2:00 PM. We will join other protesters from around the region and we will raise a ruckus for two hours or until THE MAN arrests us.

Join whoever is protesting in your area and let the war criminals in the Washington DC that the American public truly hates them and wants them driven from power as soon as possible.

Thank goodness for the First Amendment and the fact that bush jr has not revoked it yet.