It's convention time in Tampa!

The Republican convention is going on in Tampa Florida this week.

The Young Republicans are ready:

Southern evangelicals are ready:
And of course there's a passel of clergy on hand for the event:
It should be fun if it doesn't get washed away in the hurricane.

Ghouls and robbers

They cheered for the prospect of people dying because they had no health insurance at the Republican debate tonight. And as if that wasn't bad enough, they cheered when Rick Perry said that the programs that brought us out of the Great Depression and that keep millions of people out of poverty are wrong.

I would love for Rick Perry to get the nomination of his party. He'd spend the next year defending the position that Social Security, the most loved and cherished piece of legislation ever, is wrong and should be scrapped. I can see millions of seniors voting against him because of that one issue alone.

So to recap, Republicans want more money to kill people in wars but no money to keep people alive. And what money there is that's keeping seniors and disabled folks afloat, they want to take away. Yeah, that's some sound strategy.

No, not now, not ever

It's so cute to listen to President Obama talk about finding common ground to work with the Republicans on. It's admirable of him to keep saying this kind of thing but you, me, and everyone you know knows it ain't going to happen.

They both are working towards the same goal, keeping our corporate overlords fat, happy, and wealthy, but they seem to think they're somehow at odds. Well, I guess they actually are now that I think about it because the Republicans want 100 % fealty to the gospel of greed and rape of the planet, while President Obama has a bit of a heart in that he'd like to see corporations get a bit less while we slow climate change and hold the rape of the planet down just a little bit.

But when you look at it objectively, the major parties are both subservient to the corporations and the money they've flooded our political system with. But since the right wing and big business need an 'other' to attack, they've chosen President Obama. So they paint him as a socialist and a Communist when he's the furthest thing from it. The only Republican who will tell you some of the truth, Ron Paul, will tell you Obama is no socialist, he'll tell you he's a corporatist, and he's right. So they'll howl how much Obama is trying to kill big business when in fact he's helping it all he can, while trying to still look like he's on the side of working people, which in reality, he's not.

Republicans have historically been against any government program that helps the largest number of ordinary citizens. They were against Social Security (and they still are since they want to privatize it), Medicare (they called it socialism), Medicaid, the minimum wage, school lunches, overtime pay, civil rights, and on and on. They have seen how most of the programs have become beloved by most Americans and they don't want the same thing to happen to the half baked health care over haul that President Obama got passed. So they're going to attack it, and try to get it repealed. And the sad thing is, President Obama will work with them to help them do it because he has no spine and he wants to get re-elected.

If he really wanted to get re-elected and to have an unshakable mandate and a rabid following that would support him in tough times then he'd take the exact opposite of his 'bipartisan' approach. He should look to FDR for his cues on how to conduct business with Congress and the corporations. FDR stood up to the heat from the wealthy and the Republicans and he welcomed their scorn while he bent them to his will. And he did that by giving American a stark alternative from the big business uber alles Republicans of his day.

We don't want two parties that are the same. We want the two political parties, and ideally we should have five or ten political parties, to have very different platforms and to stand and fight for different things. What we've got is two major parties who only care about how they can get re-elected so that they stuff their pockets with corporate cash and stay in power forever.

And it's not going to change until we get corporate cash out of politics. So, it's not going to change...not now...not ever...

...until the whole rotten system collapses.

Interview with Sharron Angle

(All responses to my questions are actual quotes from Sharron Angle.)

Dr. MVM: Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule of only speaking to friendly audiences and to FOX Noise to speak with me. You realize I'm an actual socialist right? Is that a problem for you, talking to a socialist?

Sharron Angle: It's a Nevada problem.

Dr. MVM: I'm in TN and it's somehow a Nevada problem that I'm a socialist and you're talking to me? I'm not sure I understand.

SA: I need to appeal to a broad base.

Dr. MVM: Fair enough then. I understand that. Let me ask you this, should people donate their hard earned money to your campaign or keep it and use it to pay their bills and feed their families?

SA: We put up a splash page on my website saying, 'Send money...'

Dr. MVM: Send money to you? To your campaign?

SA: And when I get on a show, and I say, 'Send money to SharronAngle.com,' so that your listeners will know that if they want to support me they need to go to SharronAngle.com.

Dr. MVM: I see. You'd like people to send their money to you rather than to pay their bills. Let's change the subject. Your state is the only one that has legal prostitution. How do you feel about your state government mandating tests to insure that all the sex workers keep disease free?

SA: Government shouldn't be doing that to a private company...

Dr. MVM: Moving on, some people claim that you like sugary fruit flavored drinks commonly called 'slushies.' And some of those who say that claim you have a bank account that is used only to pay for those drinks. Would you call that bank account a slush fund?

SA: And I think you named it clearly: It's a slush fund.

Dr. MVM: You're a pretty vocal critic of the President and the stimulus that Sen. Reid helped pass. Study after study has shown it's working and that a majority of Americans back it. It's also been shown to benefit ordinary people more so than big multi national corporations. That's the direction our country is going in. How do you feel about that?

SA: I have an opportunity, right now, to change the direction of our country.

Dr. MVM: So you want to see the stimulus go to big business rather than to working people.

SA: I am pretty wordy ... We're still working on those precise statements.

Dr. MVM: You like to talk about your god an awful lot. I hear that you not only shot a man in Reno just to watch him die, that you routinely shiv, stab, and shank homeless men and women for sport. How does your god feel about your unholy blood-lust and your need to commit bloody heinous crimes?

SA: God knew all of this in advance ... He saw it and that He has provided a way of escape and a way for me to endure.

Dr. MVM: How do you choose your victims?

SA: When you have God in your life ... he directs your path.

Dr. MVM: Okay then. That's all I can stomach from you. I see now why you hide from real journalists and bloggers. You hide from them because you're a nut.

SA: There are people who would like to see different things come out of me, but I am who I am.

Dr. MVM: Sure. I'm glad I'm not in the same room with you, you might try to use one of your 'second amendment solutions' on me if I was. Hey, I'll have my buddy Basil Marceaux get in touch with you. He's a conservative Republican who's running for governor here in TN. I think you two would hit is off nicely. Bye bye now.

More apologies

Hello America Joe Barton here and guess what? I'm sorry. That's what.

I'm sorry that we've got an uppity nigra President who insists on butting his big nose in where it don't belong. I'm sorry we got a political system where someone like him, and by that I mean an uppity nigra, could get elected.

I'm also sorry that nigras, women, and other people who don't have souls are allowed to vote. As you all know from your proper reading of the Bible, only white men who own land have souls and only they should be allowed to vote.

I'm sorry that freedom of speech is curtailed, whoa look at me using a big fancy word like 'curtailed', for those who wish to say they'd like to see our current President strung up for being such a damn dirty socialist and who most likely is using his down time in office to impregnate white women.

I'm sorry that we allow our government to make any laws that get in the way of business. Jesus wants us to take care of business by not getting in the way of business. We ought to be making laws that help business.

I'm sorry we got a government at all. It don't do nothin' but get in the way of people's right to do business. Look at them godless African nations like Somalia, they ain't got no government and it's a paradise over there. It's a place where you can make what you like out of yourself and your business. Most of the world's pirates come from Somalia, and that's pretty cool because we all know that pirates is fun and deep down good guys. I learned that from all them Disney pirate movies.

I'm sure I'm sorry for more stuff but I ain't got time to spill out any more apologies because I've been invited by the CEO of BP to go to supper. We're having money stuffed crabs but we'll be skipping desert because we don't like humble pie.

I've said it before and I'll say it again

Sen. Hatch of Utah says that anyone who gets any kind of government assistance should be tested for drugs.
I'm all for that idea as long as every person who works for corporations doing business with the government get drug tested as well. And farmers who get federal subsides and all their employees and family members must get tested as well. And if any of them fail the drug test then the business or farm loses all contracts or subsides they are getting.

It's only fair to make all everyone, business and individuals alike, play under the same rules.

Oh yeah, I'm also for making people like Orrin Hatch retire from the Senate. If you're there more than three terms then it ought to be mandatory that you retire.

Presenting The Mighty Crap-ola, conservative magician extraordinaire

Good day everyone! I'm here to explain a conservative magic trick to you.

Watch closely now. Here we go.

I'm going to show you how conservatives in Congress, both Democrat and Republican, busted the federal budget and wasted the surplus Bill Clinton left us.

My wand represents deregulation and this newspaper represents federal oversight under George W. Bush.

We waved our wand of deregulation all over the federal oversight and we said the magic words, "9/11 changed everything. Freedom! America!" And we made federal oversight and cumbersome regulations on big business disappear. The magic words also made taxes lower for the people who could best afford to pay them, the rich and well off.

Then we took what happened on September 11th, 2001 and we said more magic words, "Terrorism, World War 3, Muslims, weapons of mass destruction!," and suddenly we found ourselves in not one

but two, count them, TWO wars!

We combined those open ended wars with the tax cuts for the wealthy, a sluggish economy, and we cut huge holes in the social safety net because we had to give that money to the military industrial prison factory farm complex and there you go.
(Give it up for my lovely assistant Morty Wisenhummer! And he great? We're in love and in a committed relationship but since we're modern conservatives we've got to stop gays like us from ever getting married because we favor government out of our lives except when it pertains to what goes down in our bedrooms.)
Now almost ten years later our great trick has left the country in a shitty state. We're going bankrupt because we've got the Democrats by the balls over raising taxes on the wealthy and the wars of terror will never ever end. We're pretty pleased because we fucked the liberals so hard on all of this. The only problem is we need money to fix it and since we can't ask big business for it, it's got to come out of your end. Hey, quit bitching, if you gave us money to stay in office so we could rape you more we'd take it easy on you.

So our next trick is we're going to take more of your take home pay and give you less government services for it. And we're going to blame the black guy you people elected for every mistake we made and will make in the future.

Abracadabra bitches!

Personal responsibility for thee but not for me

So it looks like the cop killer in Washington state was a killer who was granted clemency by Mike Huckabee when he was governor of Arkansas. And it looks like the Huckster gave this guy clemency over the objections of prosecutors and the family of those he murdered way back when. To her credit, and believe me I don't make a habit of reading her twisted blog, Michelle Malkin rips Huckadouche a new one over all this.

But just like Sarah Palin, Gomer Huckabee, man of the god of angry white racists, refuses to accept responsibility for his actions. He's blaming the judicial systems of both Arkansas and Washington state, while trying to deflect blame from himself. Real Christian of you Mike. The lesson here is unmistakable: What would a man of Jesus do? Blame others while trying to maintain his position as king of the hill on the moral high ground. If it weren't so sad it would be comical to read how his true believer followers try to absolve him of any and all blame for the deaths in Washington state.

The fact is if the man who killed those police officers is indeed the same man who Huckabee pardoned back in his days as governor of Dog Patch USA, then he's responsible for those deaths as well. And his national political career should be over as a result. He can join that other ex governor named Mike on the couch of also rans whose political ambitions were derailed because of murders they didn't commit.

I don't watch FOX Noise but I'm betting they're a tad mum on this story. Just like they were on the Knoxville Unitarian Church shooter and the murders at the Arkansas Democratic Party HQ. Too bad they won't report negatively on one of their own and too bad Huckabee won't man up and admit he made a mistake. But as we've learned from Republican after Republican, personal responsibility is a good thing for everyone but them.

Yes, please

Hey Republicants, please keep listening to this angry little man: Please keep him out in front of your party and please let him keep telling us that he thinks we ought to keep torturing like they did during the Bush/Cheney administration. Please. Pretty please. Don't move forward at all you Republicants. Please cling to the glory days of the Bush/Cheney years when everything went sour for your party.

Please keep listening and bowing down to Rush Limbaugh. He's just what your party needs. He's a grossly overweight drug addict who has no conception of what working people in this country have to face so he's the perfect angry white over taxed white man to lead your party.

Please tie yourselves to the tea baggers too. A small angry minority listening to a smaller angrier minority is also just the thing your party needs. You rich white folks and your house negro Michael Steele make a good match for treasonous sedition minded angry white men.

Don't ignore your evangelical base either or James Dobson and Pat Robertson might get their money lovin' gay hatin' Jesus to smite you.

And finally, by all means refer to the Democratic party as the Democrat Socialist Party of America. That name shows us all how ignorant and out of touch you and your party have become.

Please please, keep doing all those things. I'm begging you.

Nope

Are we supposed to think Richard Armitage is a great humanitarian now because he says he should have resigned over the torture that took place in the Bush administration?
Well, you might, but I sure as hell won't. He was second in command in the State department during the run up to the war, so he's responsible for the quagmire in Iraq and all the deaths that have resulted from it. He wants to escape the harsh judgement that history is going to put on his cowardly craven ass and that's it. He's just like that other right wing phony Scott McClellan. Both of them were too afraid to speak up while Bush was in office because they feared for their jobs, now that their reputations are in tatters they want history to look at them like they were reasonable prudent people who have since 'seen the light.' No. It doesn't work that way. You both said nothing and went along with the mass murder of over a million people and assisted in the rape of Iraq and nothing can change that. No amount of apologies, or 'shoulda woulda coulda' can spare you liars now. You made your beds, now you need to shut the fuck up while you lie in them.

How dare you Ari

If you haven't seen Chris Matthews put Ari Fleischer on the spot about 9/11 happening on George W. Bush's watch, then you need to look up the video because seriously, it's comedy gold. Ari gets indignant when confronted with the fact that the biggest terrorist attack on US soil was under his President. He actually has the balls to say when reminded of that niggling little fact, "Chris, how dare you!"

It's like he's saying, "How dare you remind the American people of that!" Or, "How dare you not blame Bill Clinton!" Or, "How dare you see through the tissue of lies we so carefully built! God damn it, we kept America safe by watching thousands of people die and then sending thousands more Americans to their deaths in a wasteful useless war in Iraq!"

Of course all the dead, displaced, maimed, and psychologically damaged people with brown skin who didn't/don't speak English and who didn't love Jesus and the US of A don't matter in Ari's world. What matters most to Ari is that we were safe after his President stood by and let the biggest terrorist attack on US soil take place. Oh hang on, it turns on that his President's war of terror that was supposed to keep us safe actually didn't keep us safe at all. Cases in point:

• the Madrid bombings happened after the war on Iraq started.
• the bombings in Britain happened after the war on Iraq started.
• over half the terrorist acts worldwide since 1980 have occurred in Iraq after the war of terror on Iraq started.
• civil liberties have been taken away from people living in countries that made war on Iraq.
• more Americans have died in the war of terror on Iraq than died in the collapse of the Twin Towers.

So really Ari, the question is "How dare you?" How dare you try to justify all the death, murder, and mayhem you and your boss caused? How dare you try to pretend that you old boss wasn't a blood thirsty dictator who is no better than the one he removed in Iraq? How dare you keep trying to re-write history? How dare you show your face among civilized people after all the lies you told to justify us going to war? How dare you and Bush and his cabal of liars and murderers still walk free when you should all be imprisoned and then tried for war crimes and crimes against humanity? How dare you not admit you were wrong and that your boss was the worst possible person to lead this country after the attacks of 9/11? How dare you not succumb to your guilt and not commit suicide?

It's too late for you Ari, history is not judging you and your old boss kindly and it never will.

Sen Judd Gregg (R-NH)...

...proving once again that Republicans put party first and country second. Ol' Judd decided he'd like to obstruct more and help get us out of the mess of the Bush years less. Thanks for being a patriot Judd! I for one will never forget how you voted with Bush on the Patriot act, on the war, on taking civil liberties away from Americans, and how you helped make this country less safe. And I won't forget that all the while you were bashing big government, you were sucking at it's teat. Fuck you, you stinking old hypocrite.


I'm hoping like crazy that the people Like Judd Gregg keep following the dictates of Rush "The big fat drug addict" Limbo. If they do then pretty soon they'll follow him off the cliff and into oblivion.

My advice, Mr. President, is to:

Stop.

Stop trying to work with the Congressional Republicans on the stimulus package. Their leader Rush Limbo has already given his party members their marching orders and those orders are to make sure you fail. They voted en masse against your package even after you put things in it to appease them. They have shown that they have no interest in working with you, moving our economy and our country forward, or doing what's best for the highest amount of people so my advice to you is to stop placating them and move on.

********

Also sir, stop with the tax cut nonsense. Tax cuts never work and they do not stimulate anything. They take money out of the federal treasury at a time when we need all the cash we can get. If I were you, instead of cutting taxes, I'd raise taxes on the wealthiest Americans and on big American corporations who are sending jobs over seas.

********

We, liberals and progressives, won the past two elections so let's grow a pair and start governing with our interests in mind instead of the conservatives. They had their chance and they failed because conservatism doesn't work for the vast majority of the people in this country, but progressivism damn sure does and it's our country's last best hope of returning to greatness after the debacle of the Bush years.

********

Please get on with the business of being a progressive President and let's bring an end to the war of terror on Iraq, get health care or at least Medicare for all Americans, let's rebuild our infrastructure, and let's stop asking for help from the people who got us into this mess in the first place. Tax cutters, deregulators, and the greed of big business got us into this mess and only a big juicy Presidential stimulus package can get us out of it.

********

We're counting on you big guy, don't let us down.

It's my Christmas wish...

...that my name is on the list of Bush haters in Karl Rove's new book.

Pity the poor idiot

Poor Georgie, we've almost gotten to the end of his Presidency and he's finally seeing that his place in history is inside the shit can. He's realized that people really hate him, what other conclusion can he come to since he's got the lowest approval numbers in history. It's finally dawned on his tiny closed mind that he's going to be looked at like he was the village idiot who got lucky.

It took his stupid ass eight years but he finally got one thing right, he's going to go down in history as the worst President ever.

But on the other hand it's kind of sad to watch him scramble to save his poisonous legacy now. He's blaming everyone else for his bad job. He now claims that everyone else had the same bad pre-war intelligence that he had. But as usual, he's wrong. Only he and Dick Cheney and their cast of Quislings and toadies came up with the wild fantasy that Saddam Hussein had WMDs. Hans Blix, Scott Ritter, and the world press knew Iraq was a toothless tiger with no WMDs. Yet Bush came up with a preposterous, and possibly illegal, "doctrine" of preventative war to justify his invasion and occupation of a sovereign nation.

He's also trying to wash his hands of the economic mess his free market lassiez faire policy of deregulation at all costs has wrought. He's saying that the current financial meltdown was caused by policies that were in place a decade before he got the US Supreme Court to appoint him Commander in Chief in the year 2000. Let's do the math now shall we? Who was President a decade before W Bush managed to hoodwink his way to the oval office? Wait for it, wait for it, it was his daddy! You remember the first President Bush don't you? He was the one who didn't do the job in Iraq properly so his son had to go and invade them and in doing so he made us all less safe. So since he finished his daddy's work in Iraq, we can safely assume that he also finished his daddy's work in ruining our economy.

But history will show that

• Bush the younger took us into two wars and fought both badly because he learned nothing from the Viet Nam war. He should have learned that you can't send in 20th century army to defeat a small guerrilla movement but he didn't learn that lesson because he was too busy getting drunk and shirking his duty in the Texas Air Guard or where ever it was he sat out the Viet Nam war.
• Bush the younger pissed away the budget surplus that it took a Democratic President to achieve after years of wasteful Republican President's and their deficit spending.
• Bush the younger did not keep this country safe, after all 9/11 took place under his watch and he was warned that it would happen.
• his record of malfeasance in government oversight, remember all the cases of e coli poisonings, the mine cave ins, the lead paint on toys, etc, will most likely never be matched by another President.
• he ruled not by consensus, but by fear and division.

It's going to take years to undo the damage that idiot caused and if there was any justice in this country we'd all get the chance to sue him and his cronies for all the damage they've caused us. And if they'd let us stone him after he steps down, maybe then I'd pity the poor idiot and I'd show him the mercy he never showed the hundreds of thousands of dead Iraqis and Afghans. Or maybe not.

Monkey Muck world exclusives!

I snuck into the Republican Governors gathering in Miami and I snapped this photo:
And my crack staff of detectives managed to unearth this photo from Michelle Obama's early years.

That's all for now.

Hey crazy lady! (Republican edition)

Here's three Republican women who are pushing the needle on the crazy meter into the red zone so far that it may never come back:

1) Sarah PalinWhen someone explains very slowly and in a calm non threatening voice what the Vice President's job is to Ms. Palin, perhaps they can explain to her what 'freedom of speech' means as well because she is under the impression that using your freedom of speech to criticize a doltish governmental official who is running for an office for which she is vastly unqualified for is an attack on her freedom of speech. Yo, Sarah, when the media criticize you for your attacks on your opponent, they are using their freedom of speech.

2) Elizabeth Dole.Ms. Dole has been channeling the ghost of her political idol the late scumbag Jesse Helms lately. She's taken a page out of his old 'I'll say any slanderous or over the top thing I can to keep my old white ass in this Senate seat' book. The woman who lets Bob Dole stick his Viagra hardened penis inside her barren, and quite possibly toxic, womb is insinuating that her opponent, Kay Hagen, is an atheist. Ms. Hagen is in fact an elder in her church and has taught Sunday school. But of course no Republican ever let something as prosaic as the 'facts' get in the way of them winning a close race. What's Next Liddy? Are you going to call your opponent a Communist for having the gall to learn about the Soviet Union while in college? Stay classy you disgusting old carpetbagger you.

3) And finally there's this bitch:

If this twat lived near me I'd be buying all the neighborhood kids cartons of eggs to toss at her house and roll after roll of toilet paper to roll her trees with. Disagreeing with people of voting age is one thing but denying kids candy on Halloween because their parents plan to vote for Obama is just despicable.

Career suggestions for Rep. Michelle Bachman (R) MN

This line of work as been good to Katherine Harris since she got her ass kicked in the Florida Senate race in 2006, so I guess Michelle "Bat Shit Crazy" Bachman would do well at it too.

I'm all about helping former Republican Congress people find work, that's just how I roll yo.

How much you want to bet...

...that this is a hoax too? I wonder if any of the guy's neighbors has video surveillance that could prove that he shot his own house and blamed it on Democrats.

Hubris will get you every time

Outside of their intellectually bankrupt ideas, the reason why Republicans are losing so much ground is two fold:

The first part of why they are on the down swing is because years ago they got in bed with the religious right and since then people have seen that people like Pat Robertson, John Hagee, and the Farting Preacher are full of shit.

The second reason is they are on the way out is because people like Michelle Bachman and Marsha Blackburn actually believe the bile they hear spewed on right wing hate radio. When you believe your press clippings and the crap they say about you on the Rush Hannity Hate Hour then you're done for.

I'm happy they are on the way out but I'm also afraid the right wing, both religious and radio talking heads, are going to get meaner and nastier in the coming months and years that they are out of power. One can only hope that the Republican party breaks into to two factions with the Jeebus lovin' reactionaries on one side and the corporate lap dogs on the other.