During this most holy of weeks I bring you...

...this weeks brunette of the week!
I stole this from Darius Whiteplume's Tumblr.

Suck on this you teabaggers

Stolen off of the great Tumblr blog STFU Conservatives.

Let's end boyfriend abuse once and for all

Ouch! I was speaking metaphorically damn it.

Sarah Palin will not stop until she gets someone killed

The crazy bitch is telling her crazy followers to stop cars with Obama bumper stickers on them. It's intimidation pure and simple.

If you try and stop my car, I'm calling the police on you and I'm having you arrested for assault. Try me. See if I don't.

Wondering

I wonder if Fox News or any of the conservative blogs did any stories about the arrest of the Christian terrorists in Michigan. I looked on a couple of their blogs but no mention of it anywhere. I tried to watch Fox but I couldn't stand the unrelenting pro Republican spin. I'm guessing it will take them a day or so to find a way to claim those right wing GI Joe wannabes are really liberals who are hell bent on trying to discredit the god fearing Jesus loving tea bagging militia movement.

Canned 'meat' update

And now you know the rest of the story

The real reason Michael Steele went to that lesbo bondage nightclub in LA was to make sure the sacrifices were being done in accordance with Republican party guidelines.
Oh sweet, sweet schadenfreude, how I love you so.

Those dirty Russians

Bill 'The Incorrect Pundit' Kristol says the Russians have no one to blame but themselves for the suicide bombings that took place in Moscow.

Don't you love how conservative pundits and radical right wing religious extremist ministers always blame the victims of these types of incidents?

Sarah Palin wants her country back

And we all know which country that is. It's the country where:

• all sorts of white folks, whether your skin color is ecru or eggshell and everything in between, can get ahead.
• black folks know their place.
• Latinos work in the fields and not in the front office.
• women are second class citizens.
• homos stay in the closet.
• where the comedy stylings of Rich Little and Dennis Miller reign supreme.
• you keep minorities from voting and then you say, "Hey look, those people never vote anyway, so why should we have laws to protect their right to vote?"
• big corporations get to write the labor laws and unions are outlawed.
• you're free to go to the Christian church of your choice, as long as they don't preach or practice social or economic justice.
• the only food that's good for you is the stuff they douse with pesticides and grow on factory farms.
• any rich white child can grow up to be President if he so chooses.
  

Me, I don't ever want that country back. The country I want is the one envisioned by Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Paine, Teddy Roosevelt, FDR, Martin Luther King Jr, and Dennis Kucinich.

It's Bonnie!

Bonnie is the sweetest lil doggie you ever saw. Seriously.

A Monkey Movie Review

I can sum up this film in one word: Wow.

This gripping gritty raw film is a fictional account of the damage done when a Protestant loyalist who is in the Ulster Volunteer Force (a pro British paramilitary group in Northern Ireland) murders a Roman Catholic man in cold blood. Liam Neeson, in a stunningly great performance, plays the shooter and James Nesbitt, who turns in the performance of a lifetime, plays the younger brother of the murdered man who witnessed the crime.

The two men are consumed with guilt, rage, despair, and bitterness over the next 30 years after the slaying took place. Neeson's character reaches out to others to try to get them to stop them from going down the road he went down. Nesbitt's character is consumed with bitterness over the murder of this brother, over the blame his mother placed on him for the his older brother's death, and over how Neeson's character is getting lionized in the press for reaching out to try to stop the violence. The two men agree to meet one another and allow their meeting to be filmed for a television show about reconciliation, but things take a sideways turn when Nesbitt backs out at the last second.

Ultimately the two men come to a place where they can finally leave the past behind.

This film was hard to watch at times and when it wasn't hard to watch, it was gut wrenching. Neeson plays the guilt ridden shooter with a heavy dose of world weariness. He seems so self possessed at the start of the film but by the end you see the toll the murder took on him. And as good as Neeson is, Nesbitt is even better. His twitchy nervous bitter impotent rage is something to behold. I got chills watching him in this role. He's a big time movie actor, which is different from being a big time movie star. Bruce Willis is a good movie star, James Nesbitt is a great movie actor. This is Nesbitt's second great turn in a film about 'the troubles' in Northern Ireland. He was also very very good in Bloody Sunday. It's a shame that his talent is not more appreciated in this country.

I really felt for Nesbitt's character in this film and I was left wondering how I would react if I was given the chance to meet face to face with the man who was driving the car that killed my sister Linda or the doctor who killed my mother on the operating table. I'd probably react a lot like Nesbitt did in this film.

I can't recommend this one highly enough but be warned, it's not a happy little film and it may change you in ways you never thought about.

Meme-ing of me

I stole this meme from Samurai Frog.

Hi, my name is: Dr. Monkey/Monkey/Dogg/ Prairie Dogg/ PD/Steve
Never in my life have I been: Outside of North America
The one person who can drive me nuts is: driving an SUV, talking on their cell phone while driving, and has a Bush/Cheney bumper sticker on their gas guzzler.
High school: was fun and a great escape from my dreadful cousins and their crazy mother.
When I’m nervous: I repeat things. Repeat things. Repeat things.
The last song I listened to was: something I downloaded from RCRD LBL.
If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor: I'm not getting married right now.
My hair is: shortish.
When I was 5: I knew I was funny.
Last Christmas: we got ourselves some British comedies on DVD.
I should be..: a Powerball and or a Mega Millions jackpot winner by now.
When I look down I see: a rug I bought at Big Lots.
The happiest recent event was: the sun coming out and warming things up around here.
If I were a character on ‘Friends’ I’d be: fighting Chandler Bing to the death.
By this time next year: I'd like to have won the Powerball and or Mega Millions jackpot.
My current gripe is: shitty drivers in SUVs who talk on their cell phones and who have Republican stickers on their bumpers.
I have a hard time understanding: most Asian languages.
There’s this girl I know that: likes Pinot Noir.
If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: whoever was closest to me.
Take my advice: don't ever do business with someone who puts a Jesus fish in their print ad or who feels compelled to tell you they are a Christian within the first three minutes of meeting them for the first time. One should be able to see if a person is a Christian by their actions and not by their loud proclamations.
The thing I want to buy: is a shopping center when I win the Powerball/Mega Millions jackpot. I'll turn it into a center for outsider art.
If you visited the place I was born: You'd see why I don't ever want to live there again.
I plan to visit: France and Italy when I win that jackpot.
If you spent the night at my house: we'd stay up late talking, laughing, and drinking.
I’d stop my wedding if: I was actually getting married.
The world could do without: people who take the metaphor of their religion too literally.
I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: vote Republican.
Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: some pulp paperbacks and a couple of early '60's yearbooks from my college alma mater.
Most recent thing someone else bought me: beer.
My favorite blonde is: me.
My favorite brunette is: Sparky.
My favorite red head is: that chick from Mad Men.
My middle name is: James.
In the morning I: eat oatmeal with banana and brown sugar in it.
The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: monkeys.
Once, at a bar: I got crazy ass drunk and I got up and danced on the top of a table.
Last night I was: laughing while watching The Mighty Boosh.
There’s this guy I know who: annoys the shit out of me, so I avoid him.
If I was an animal I’d be: A monkey dog hybrid.
A better name for me would be: Tubby.
Tomorrow I am: going to go to our friends Bob and Donna's house for a potluck with some friends. We're taking vegetarian sushi.
Tonight I am: going to relax.
My birthday is: October 20th.

Sign of the times

Sad but true

This is a Bush/Cheney era FAA training kit.

Elections have consequences

Experts warn that now that the health care reform bill has been signed into law that we'll see and upsurge in young Negro children emulating President Obama. These same experts say that now that the most powerful black man in the world has flexed his political muscle and got something accomplished that young Negroes may not be satisfied with washing our clothes and doing menial chores for God fearing white America.


They also may be emboldened enough to put salt into our happy hour cocktails.

And they may even be head strong enough to stick their tongues out while doing menial tasks.

If young Negroes are no longer willing to accept a life of servitude, then who will flip our switches?Who will hop around on one leg for our amusement?
And who will make small lights using tiny bulbs and batteries?
It's truly a frightening prospect warn experts at the Eagle Forum and the Cato Institute.

And the folks at the Family Research Council warn that if Negroes continue their ascent unabated then the next logical step is for young Hispanics to start to breathe in more than their share of the fresh air that Jesus gave to white America.

It's a good thing then that Pat Robertson has all the members of the 700 Club and his team of Asian orphans working on ways to keep those uppity blacks and Hispanics in their place.

The council of elders...

...they not only sit in judgment of you, they also sit atop my computer.

A Monkey Movie Review

While at the soon to be bankrupt Blockbuster store yesterday I noticed that the sequel to Trailer Park Boys: The Movie was out. I was going to rent it but then I remembered I hadn't seen the first Trailer Park Boys film. So I rented it instead.
And I'm happy to report I feckin' loved it.

For those who are not familiar with the Trailer Park Boys, the whole thing started out as a short film about a couple of lowlife Canadian trailer park dwellers. Then it grew into a successful TV series and finally it's become a motion picture franchise.

This film tells the story of a band of lovable criminals who live in a trailer park in Canada. They drink, smoke pot, screw around, put on cat shows, do jail time, eat shit food, drink more, do some robberies, and cuss. And they cuss some more. The last time I heard this much cursing by Canadians was when Wayne Gretzky signed to play hockey for the NHL team in Los Angeles. Of course the guys have enemies, such as the local cops, the owner of the local strip bar, the guys who do security at the trailer park, and a few of the guards in the jail where they do time, and they make life hell for our anti heroes.

I'm not sure which characters I liked the best but I narrowed it down to Bubbles, the kitty loving nervous wreck who wears Coke bottle bottom glasses, Trinity, the budding young criminal daughter of the leader of the Trailer Park Boys, or shirtless Randy, the sidekick to the head of trailer park security.

All in all it's harmless fun and a laugh out loud comedy. I really liked it and I can see myself quoting lines from it after I watch it a few more times. I'm pretty sure the reason why I liked it so much is because I not only know guys like this, I have guys like this in my family, so the humor is close to home for me. I also liked it that this film is definitely and proudly Canadian. I love that characters like this are universal. And they don't just live in trailers, they live in condos, in apartments, in rented houses, and of course cars.

I'll definitely be seeing the sequel to this film and one day I hope to see the TV version of the Trailer Park Boys.

This is how it starts

It starts out as quitting work early to go for a swim at the lake in the days after health care reform was signed into law, then next thing you know, you're hugging a tree and saying nasty things about capitalism. And of course it all ends when they march you off to the gulag after you take a puff off the marijuana cigarette your gay Communist social justice loving Muslim BFF gave you.

Health care reform, it's a gateway drug that leads to the downfall of white Christian America.

(This post was brought to you by the John Birch Society and teabaggers everywhere.)

Happy birthday Nick Lowe!

At one time he had the best mullet in rock and roll.

Sweet, sweet decay

I have mad love for this local sign:
I love how the once modern and space age look of it is rusting out and decaying slowly.

I want to stop and and take a photo of it every time I drive by it.

One day the city will condemn that building and someone will tear that sign down and all that's left will be my photos of it.

The outsiders

I love outsider art. Yes, I appreciate art produced by learned and accomplished artists but for me, the best art is art made by people outside the mainstream, the ones outside of the insular and suffocating masturbatory modern art world.

And by outsider art, I don't necessarily mean folk art, although some of that is cool too. The thing about folk art is that it's been co-opted by pretentious arty hipsters who have art training or went to art school and yet they ape the style of art made popular by Grandma Moses and Howard Finster. My definition of outsider art is art, be it painting, video, drawing, illustration, sculpture, fiber based, that is produced by people who are outside of the art world and who very often have no choice but to obsessively create. It's art not made necessarily for the consumer market, although if it finds a market and the artist can make a living off his or her art then that's great, instead it's art made from the heart and for no other reason that for the sheer pleasure of making art. Outsider art is not necessarily beautiful, don't ever fall into the trap of thinking that art has to be beautiful, some art is, but some art is downright ugly and hard to appreciate at first, if at all.

The term 'art brut' is a French term for a genre of outsider art and what it refers to is art made by mentally ill people. The literal translation is 'rough art.' And the outsider art world is littered with people who were mentally ill and who still managed to create masterpieces. My father would fall into that category. He suffered from schizophrenia and depression most all of his short life and he made art. It was fitting that his artistic idol was Vincent Van Gogh, dad used to paint copies of Van Gogh's work and on the back he'd usually write in pencil, 'A forgery by Ray Denton.' He also loved the pointillists as well and I remember many pointillist paintings he did. He did originals as well but I think his mental illness had convinced him that they weren't as good as those done by recognized 'masters' so he painted mostly copies of other artists works. Unfortunately, I have only one of his paintings, a copy of a Van Gogh. I wish I had more but they all got tossed or destroyed along the way.

Some of my favorite outsider artists are:

Karl Haas

Fred Phillips
Here's a link to a blog post our own Diva Jood did about Mr. Phillips.

Henry Darger.

There is a great documentary PBS aired about the late Mr. Darger. His story is one of creation and madness that is extremely sad. On his death bed Darger finally got a small amount of praise for his lifetime of obsessive and lonely art making.

Donald Mitchell is an African American artist I've just discovered. I found out about him through the magazine Raw Vision, which is a magazine dedicated to the world of outsider art. I discovered this magazine back in the mid '90's and it spurred my interest in art but I had quit buying it a few years back, but then over the holidays this past year my friend Keith, who also shares my interest in outsider art, gave me a bunch of back issues of it that he had laying around his house. It was in these issues where I discovered the art of Donald Mitchell. I love the off kilter patterns and the repetition in Mitchell's works.

Tyree Guyton.

Here's a link to a great little article about him. He makes me almost want to go back to my home town of Detroit. Almost. But not quite.

I dabble a bit in the art myself but I'm not in the same league with any of the folks I mentioned in this post, either talent wise or output wise. I make art because I enjoy it and because it helps satisfy my creative impulse. I used to do theatre and improv comedy to satisfy it but I do neither anymore, I quit theatre because I got tired of the bitchiness, the back biting, and because I was missing too many cues. I quit doing improv due to health reasons. So now blogging, gardening, and making art fill my need to create.

Finally, one of the first things I'm going to do when I hit the Powerball and/or the Mega Millions jackpot is I am going to buy an empty shopping center, refurbish it so it's as environmentally friendly as possible, and then open a center for outsider art in it. I'll also have a pop culture gallery/museum as well and I'll hire Samurai Frog to run it. That is if he'll consent to do it.

He just found out she was a teabagger

Universal theories

Some people claim that an all powerful god created the universe and everything in it, even Billy Ray Cyrus's mullet.

Others credit the Borofski brothers of Shaker Heights with creating the universe and keeping it running semi smoothly.

Some claim the universe exists inside the underside of an umbrella that's being held by a young man who lives inside a wind tunnel.

And a couple of folks in a trailer park in Tallahassee, Florida posit that the universe is a ball that's being tossed about by demi gods who care not a whit for us.

Me, I'm going to go with the theory that one day Bollywood actress Brinda Parekh took her top off and the universe fell out fully formed. Yep. That's the theory I'm going with.

Motel of the week

Canadian band of the week

I just discovered Woodpiegon. And I'm totally in love with them. If you Google them you can stream some kick ass MP3's from them and if you go to RCRD LBL you can download "Denial in Argyle" for free.

Long live good Canadian indie rock and roll, eh.

Brunette of the week

Turkish supermodel Tugba Ozay.

Soon and very soon

Now that health care reform has passed the House, it's on to the Senate where Harry "Milquetoast" Reed says he's got the votes to pass it. Once it passes in the Senate it's on to President Obama's desk for a signature then it becomes law. As soon as it becomes law I'm going to start aborting babies
and killing your grandma.
To be honest with you, I really don't want to do those things but the law says I have to. It's out of my hands. The least you could do is tell your granny I'm coming after her so she can have a head start on me, it'll make it more fun for all of us.

Thanks for finally doing something right for a change Nancy Pelosi!

Beware men in loin cloths who bring you news, unless it's Tarzan of course

"You've been cleared for stomach stapling surgery you fat bastard! That's got to be good news to you. Right?"

Take his ass to the cleaners

So Mr. Sandra Bullock would rather have this
than this:
That dude is an idiot.

Another book I tried really hard to like

I tried. I swear I did. But by the middle of this book it became apparent that it was not for me. I just don't find books about sadistic Japanese martial arts instructors and the masochistic Westerners who patronize them interesting.

Here's some Blondie for your first day of spring

I'm not sure what all the fuss is about

Somebody please tell me why teens today are going crazy for New Moon. A movie about two old people who live in a trailer sounds pretty boring to me. Is one of them a vampire and the other one Miley Ray Cyrus or something?

I'm clueless so I'll just go and listen to some John Denver or Olivia Newton John while I drink my warm milk and wait for Matlock to come on the TV machine.

Medical device of the week

Pedophilia...

...it's not just for Roman Catholic clergy any more!

I never regretted not becoming a Boy Scout. I knew something like this was going to or would happen in that organization. But how did this type of thing happen after their purge of gay Scout masters? I thought only teh gay molested young boys.

What I'm watching

I avoided this series because it was lavishly praised by a blogger who has the polar opposite entertainment likes that I have and the post Taxi career of Danny Devito has left me cold, especially his movie career (I'll never forgive him for making that piece of shit not funny one joke movie with Billy Crystal about throwing his mother from a fucking train.), so he was another reason for me to avoid this show.

But after seeing a few episodes of it, I'm really digging it. All the characters are misanthropic assholes and most every episode is a race to see who can behave the worst. There's nothing remotely redeeming abut any of the characters, Devito included, and it all makes for very funny and twisted TV. If you like black comedy, then you'll like this show.

Another show I've been sucked into it Caprica. Which is odd because I tried to get into Battlestar Galactica but it just didn't happen for me. For those of you who don't know, Caprica is the prequel series to Battlestar.

The storyline and the acting in this series have hooked me and kept me riveted. But the biggest reason I'm loving this show is the performance of Irish actress Paula Malcomson.
She was one of the best things about Deadwood and in that series we all saw a lot of her, she played a whore and she did many scenes topless and a few underwear-less as well. And in Caprica even though she keeps her clothes on at all times, her performances are still very naked, metaphorically speaking. To me she's the glue that holds the show together and makes it worth watching. I tune in each week to see how far into her character she's going to go and how much she'll reveal. As her character battles her grief, mental illness, and drug and alcohol use, it gets more interesting as the episodes progress. She's one hell of an actor and each week her performances are like acting master classes.

Just a couple of things

• Hey Texas, don't be shocked when the kids who go through your public school system after your curriculum change don't make the cut at out of state colleges, and sorry colleges in Arkansas doesn't count, because of the shoddy education you're giving them. When you leave out huge chunks of history and social studies because you disagree with it, you're only making your kids dumber. But maybe that's what you want. Maybe you want all future Texans to be unquestioning slack jawed yokels who's goal in life is to work at Walmart and inherit their parents trailer. You've made your state's public education system one step above that of people who home school their kids to keep them from mixing with kids who are brown skinned and kids who have religions that don't have the words 'evangelical' or 'pentecostal' in their name.
  
• Special K, Dennis Kucinich, has said he will now vote for health care reform. I'm not surprised. He's a loyal Democratic party guy. He's in the same left wing of that party that I occupy but unlike me, he's actually in Congress. Lots of people are bitching about him voting for it but in my opinion, he's doing it for the right reasons, just like he opposed it and voted against it for the right reasons. The bill is far from perfect, the only thing that will ever satisfy me is universal single payer health care for all that includes dentistry and mental health provisions, but it's the best thing we're going to get right now. We can fix it later, like we've done to the Voting Rights act and other ground breaking legislation.
• Anyone who looks at religious leaders as moral paragons of Christian/Jewish/Hindu/Muslim virtue are idiots. New claims of pedophilia in the Catholic church are surfacing every day and the scandal goes ever higher and yet the top clergy still refuse to take it seriously. Protestant ministers regularly steal, rape kids, and commit all kinds of crimes and they claim that their god told them to do these things. It's a good thing I quit religion before any god told me to stick my dick in a little girl or boy and or steal from the poor so I could live in high style.
• St. Patrick's Day has come and gone and lots of you celebrated by getting shit faced and talking in bad Irish accents. Since my Irish heritage is the only one I claim I'm going to return the favor. On Columbus Day I'm going to go all Tony Soprano on some Indians while I guzzle Chianti and eat spaghetti and talk in a loud annoying Eye-talian accent. And then on whatever day we celebrate Asian cultures I'm going to eat fried rice, swill sake, be super suspicious of black folks, and drive badly. Finally, when Oktoberfest rolls around I'm going to gorge on sausages, drink gallons of strong beer, and get me some lebensraum at any cost. What? You don't like the idea of me engaging in that kind of stereotypical behavior? Ok, then, I'll tell ya what, I'll be nice to your heritage and culture if you do the same for me and mine, otherwise, fuck you. My people built America, we built the roads, the political machines, the railroads, and the farms. We did more than just get drunk, produce Dennis Leary (which I heartily apologize for by the way), and wear green. Crack open a book some time instead of a beer and read about it why don't you.
  

Well dressed goats

Oh animal husbandry textbook, you're the gift that keeps on giving.