I stole this meme from Samurai Frog.
Hi, my name is: Dr. Monkey/Monkey/Dogg/ Prairie Dogg/ PD/Steve
Never in my life have I been: Outside of North America
The one person who can drive me nuts is: driving an SUV, talking on their cell phone while driving, and has a Bush/Cheney bumper sticker on their gas guzzler.
High school: was fun and a great escape from my dreadful cousins and their crazy mother.
When I’m nervous: I repeat things. Repeat things. Repeat things.
The last song I listened to was: something I downloaded from RCRD LBL.
If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor: I'm not getting married right now.
My hair is: shortish.
When I was 5: I knew I was funny.
Last Christmas: we got ourselves some British comedies on DVD.
I should be..: a Powerball and or a Mega Millions jackpot winner by now.
When I look down I see: a rug I bought at Big Lots.
The happiest recent event was: the sun coming out and warming things up around here.
If I were a character on ‘Friends’ I’d be: fighting Chandler Bing to the death.
By this time next year: I'd like to have won the Powerball and or Mega Millions jackpot.
My current gripe is: shitty drivers in SUVs who talk on their cell phones and who have Republican stickers on their bumpers.
I have a hard time understanding: most Asian languages.
There’s this girl I know that: likes Pinot Noir.
If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: whoever was closest to me.
Take my advice: don't ever do business with someone who puts a Jesus fish in their print ad or who feels compelled to tell you they are a Christian within the first three minutes of meeting them for the first time. One should be able to see if a person is a Christian by their actions and not by their loud proclamations.
The thing I want to buy: is a shopping center when I win the Powerball/Mega Millions jackpot. I'll turn it into a center for outsider art.
If you visited the place I was born: You'd see why I don't ever want to live there again.
I plan to visit: France and Italy when I win that jackpot.
If you spent the night at my house: we'd stay up late talking, laughing, and drinking.
I’d stop my wedding if: I was actually getting married.
The world could do without: people who take the metaphor of their religion too literally.
I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: vote Republican.
Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: some pulp paperbacks and a couple of early '60's yearbooks from my college alma mater.
Most recent thing someone else bought me: beer.
My favorite blonde is: me.
My favorite brunette is: Sparky.
My favorite red head is: that chick from Mad Men.
My middle name is: James.
In the morning I: eat oatmeal with banana and brown sugar in it.
The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: monkeys.
Once, at a bar: I got crazy ass drunk and I got up and danced on the top of a table.
Last night I was: laughing while watching The Mighty Boosh.
There’s this guy I know who: annoys the shit out of me, so I avoid him.
If I was an animal I’d be: A monkey dog hybrid.
A better name for me would be: Tubby.
Tomorrow I am: going to go to our friends Bob and Donna's house for a potluck with some friends. We're taking vegetarian sushi.
Tonight I am: going to relax.
My birthday is: October 20th.