Boo hoo

George 'Murdering War Criminal' Bush, Jr. wants people to stop calling his tax cuts 'the Bush tax cuts.'  But if we don't call then that, what else can we call them?  Here's a few helpful suggestions:

• the Bush bankrupt the USA cuts
• massive giveaway of money that millions of people could have benefited from
• a Republican 'thank you' to their ultra rich supporters
• screw the poor and the working poor
• a Bush 'Fuck you!' to working people
• the Bush/Cheney cuts
• the 'Hey, look, we started two wars and now we're cutting taxes!' cuts
• the unkindest cuts of all
• Bilbo Baggins
• the 'this is better than having to suck the cock of every super rich person who supported my campaign' cuts
• the 'No, seriously, I'm sure this won't balloon the deficit (Holy shit, I almost said that with a straight face) cuts'
• Hey, look, a terrorist!
• Oh my gawd, they's a terrorist in our country! 
• Don't forget Bill Clinton got a blow job from someone who weren't his wife
• Sheila
• the 'God damn it, what do you expect? I've spent my whole life listening to Milton Friedman's bullshit theories, so of course this is going to work even though his ideas have brought disaster every where they've been implemented' cuts.

Yeah, go with one of my ideas.  Feel free.

Congress in action!

The Republicans in Congress have decided to cut the taxes of wealthy Americans, businesses, and corporations yet again. They've also decided that most every one else won't have to pay taxes either, with the exception of the following people:

barrel burners,

indigenous aboriginal peoples,

gigolos,

musicians,

and this dude.

So enjoy your tax cuts America, and for those of you get one, get your asses back to work, the country is depending on you.

Share the love, share the sacrifice. America, FUCK YEAH!

Don't be stupid, stupid

I had a commenter on this blog tell me that she thought we should never tax business because taxing business was 'punishing' the entity that creates jobs. My first thought was, when did making business pay it's fair share of things become punishment?

A few weeks ago, this commenter and I went back on forth on Facebook over the value of labor unions. Basically she blamed them for ruining our economy and I told her she was an idiot for thinking and saying that. Her point was that unions have become so corrupt and greedy that no business would want their employees to be in one. Umm, duh. No business wants their employees to be in a union, they don't want them to have the protection or collective bargaining power that a union offers it's members. Business wants to make a profit as cheaply as it can and it wants no roadblocks to it, and all businesses see unions as roadblocks.

But this post isn't about her right wing view and irrational hatred of the only protections that workers have, it's about her idiotic comment that taxing business is punishing it.

Businesses, both large and small, want their workers, for the most part, to be able to read and write. And where do people learn to do those things? In schools, public schools for the most part, and public schools are funded by taxes. So therefore business should pay taxes that will go to funding schools.

Businesses like using publicly funded things like roads and bridges, therefore they should pay taxes to help build and or repair those things. Businesses like police and fire protection, therefore they should help pay for the police and fire departments. They like trash pick up, so they should help pay for the public landfills they use. They like their workers to be healthy so they can work them long hours for little pay, so therefore they should pay for things like the Centers for Disease Control, for public health clinics, and for inoculations of school children who will become workers later on.

Most of you get my point. However, I'm sure it will be lost on the idiot woman who thinks that unions and not greedy short sighted corporations ruined our economy and that taxing business is punishing it.
If stupid could be taxed, we'd make a fortune off her.

Deficit cutting recommendations from the Monkerstein Commission

Here's how we end the deficit:

• End the wars of terror on Iraq and Afghanistan and bring all troops and equipment home.
• End all foreign occupations immediately and bring all our troops and equipment home.
• End farm subsidies.
  
• Cut military spending to the bone.
• Institute a 50 percent income tax on individuals making over $250,000 a year. (It used to be 90% back during the 1940's and '50's, and we still created thousands of jobs.)
  
• Make individuals pay Social Security tax on 100 percent of their income, not just the first $106,000.
• Raise corporate taxes.
• Tax all businesses one dollar per square foot for every square foot of land their business occupies.
  
• Tax all religious institutions.
• Legalize and tax industrial hemp.
• Legalize and tax marijuana for recreational use.
• Institute a gas guzzler tax. If you want to buy a huge gas guzzling SUV, then you can... but you have to pay at least half the purchase price back in taxes.
• End all corporate tax breaks on the local, state, and federal levels.
• Heavily tax all forms of gun related ammunition. If you want to own a handgun, fine, but you're going to pay through the nose for bullets.

My plan is a good mix of ending wasteful spending and raising monies to pay for the kinds of things we want as a country. It's much fairer and more balanced than the current plan that just got shit out of Erskine Bowles and Alan Simpson's asses.

And my plan is the center piece of my 2012 presidential campaign. That's right America, Dr. Monkey is once again running for President.

Tax cuts, what can't they do?

The Republicans want more tax cuts, President Obama wants more tax cuts, so it's time we took a closer look at what tax cuts do for us all.

"I caught this fish with a tax cut. And tax cuts got my wife pregnant when I couldn't. I love tax cuts!"

"I'm injecting tax cuts straight into this man's arm. He should be up and around and creating jobs in no time."

"We fired a slew of teachers, firefighters, and cops because of tax cuts. Now our stupid burnt criminal children will be able to find much work in the free market because of tax cuts."

"More tax cuts mean I can line the rest of the walls in my house with luncheon meat!"

"Tax cuts have kept the negro menace at bay for many years. Our white women must be kept pure at all costs, so we must cut taxes even further."

"This just in, tax cuts saved a baby, built a bridge, and invented the internet."

"If it's wrong to masturbate with tax cuts, then I don't want to be right."

"If we raise taxes to rebuild the interstate highway system then Mexicans, Jews, and gays might be tempted to drive more places. We have to cut taxes now so that those kinds of people stay at home and don't spread their cooties to the rest of us. Hail tax cuts! Praise their holy name! Get cleansed in the blood of tax cuts!"

Stimulate who?

Oh wow.

Did you see it?

Did you hear it?

It's out there and it's huge! No, I'm not talking about Jessica Simpson's ass, which is only now beginning to look somewhere near fine if you ask me, I'm talking about the Senate Republican's answer to President Obama's stimulus package.

Predictably it full of the one thing that all Republicans love, no, it's not full of hookers, it's full of tax cuts for the wealthy and for corporations. Crazy huh. They want to cut taxes on themselves and the corporations who they are beholden to, it's their way of stimulating their own economy. The rest of us can go to hell as far as they are concerned. Let's look at the cold hard facts:

• If a bridge gets built in your community the whole community benefits. The construction company hires people in your area to build it. Those people spend their paychecks in your community, thereby benefiting local business. Your state or city gets either sales tax or income tax off the money paid to the workers and your state and city provide all kinds of services to you with that tax revenue.
• When the taxes of rich white people get cut they pocket the money they are going to save that would have gone to pay taxes. Your community doesn't benefit from it. Only the persons whose taxes got cut benefit. And maybe a big bank or Wall Street investment house benefits too. But that's it.

President Obama's stimulus plan has millions for such things as Pell grants which will help kids in your area go to college, public health initiatives which will employ people and benefit your community in the long run, infrastructure repairs, and many other beneficial projects. All of these projects will produce real tangible economic benefits almost immediately in your community. The stimulus package offered by the obscenely wealthy Senate Republicans will have no economic effects on your community whatsoever, unless you live inside a Wall Street bank that is. Heck, I'm still waiting for the economic effects of the Bush tax cuts to kick in and the Reagan tax cuts as well.

My fellow citizens, we should be fed up with watching the rich and powerful in our government take care of only the rich and powerful in the business world. It's time that all the bastards in Washington DC started doing what's right for the vast majority of us and stop doing the bidding of Rush Limbo, ExxonMobil, and IBM. I'd like to say that I hope that the Senate Republican passes so that when our economy tanks even further and they propose more tax cuts to fix it I could point and laugh, but I'm not. I'm not an asshole like a certain fat blowhard drug addict is, so I'm hoping that the Republican plan fails so that the President's plan, which will benefit all Americans in the long run, can pass and succeed.