Religious Discrimination Success Stories from Indiana

 "I was going to turn gay but when I heard that businesses could discriminate against me if I did, well you best better believe I stayed straight.  I totally love women and their boobs and their hair and make up and I totally want to have sex with one someday.  As soon as I find one with a penis who looks like Ryan Gosling, then I'm all in!"

"My parents made sure the hospital didn't give me no gay blood and now I'm on the mend and I'll be back to protesting at abortion clinics and shaming poor kids in no time!  Thank you Jesus and mom and dad!"

"I get zapped with the de-gayinator ray three times a week instead of two like I used to.  Sure it hurts like hell and all the radiation is probably going to give me cancer and shit, but that's a small price to pay to keep me straight and not discriminated against."

"As soon as I heard about businesses being able to discriminate against  gays, I moved the fuck out of Indiana.  My wife and I now live in outside of the Midwest and we no longer smell like tainted cheese and almost all our rashes have cleared up!"

"I want to be able to live the real Indiana experience and I can't do that if I'm being discriminated against.  So I've learned how to hide my homosexuality.  I have to keep it under wraps or I won't be able to enjoy basketball games in hot stinky gyms, eat my body weight in day old bread and tater tot casserole, and passive aggressively judge others who engage in the same behaviors that I do.  When ever I feel like getting gay on another dude, I slide my arms in to these slings and I put my junk into this medieval cock blocking device until my desire for another man passes.  I also think of Bobby Knight naked and that kills any boners I might get."

"Am I safe?  I don't know, are you safe?"

"Getting my anti gay hate on has turned back the clock for me.  I look just like I did back in college when I used to persecute gays and lesbos in my college.  Just look at my before and after photos!  Last week I looked old and tired and my skin sagged.  Now, after refusing to serve gays, Presbos,  and Mexicans, I have a spring in my step and my skin looks days younger. I haven't felt this good since the days when I was an Eva Braun impersonator for World War 2 re-enactors.  Hate, discrimination, and small minded Christian paranoia never felt so good or made me feel so sexy!"

Shut the fuck up

Some lesser known Harvard economist tried to make a name for himself by gay bashing the late John Maynard Keynes, a champion of government led economics.  He insinuated Keynes was gay and because he was married to a woman who bore him no children that he was a closeted gay who didn't give a shit about the future because he was childless.  Yeah, that makes sense, all gays and childless couples hate the future and live only for today, that's why Sparky and I recycle and try not to give much business to companies who deny man made climate change.

The thing about this Ivy League ass and major league fucktard is he thinks that calling someone gay is an insult, a thing to be hated and feared.  My question is, what rock has this idiot been hiding under?  This is 2013, we have same sex marriage, gay TV and film stars, gay sports heroes, gay political leaders.  Does he not know that aside from troglodytes like him and right wing religious asshats that people like, respect, and admire gay people?  This jackass probably does the limp wristed falsetto voiced impression of a gay person when he imitates one.  He thinks all gay men want to be women and he's obsessed with not catching the gay cootie.  Fuck him and the horse he fucked and then rode in on.  He thinks he's cute and funny, but he's really a behind the times asshole who needs to be fired from Harvard so he can go claim a post at Jerry Falwell University in Lynchburg. 

And to top it all off, he's an Englishman who came to this country to take a job from an American.  What an ass.  He needs to be deported ASAP.  Small minded piece of shit, go back to rotting old Europe and stick your head in a gas oven. 

We dodged a huge bullet

Thank goodness that racism and homophobia are confined to North Carolina.  Can you imagine how awful it would be if that shit was every where in the USA?  I'm so glad that places like California, Florida, Montana, Idaho, Utah, Nebraska, and Alabama are havens of clear thinking people who accept and celebrate all those who are different from themselves.

Maybe we should give NC back to the Native Americans.  Yeah. that would serve all the racists and gay haters right!

The stupid, it burns

"I can foresee rampant violence in the military if macho men must share shower facilities, bunk beds in a submarine, or fox holes with sex-crazed gay males." Andrea Lafferty, executive director of the Traditional Values Coalition

That's some statement she made huh. It shows her to be not only stupid but also hateful, bigoted, and ignorant of how the military works.

First of all gay men who want to serve in the military are macho as hell. You can't serve in the military and not be macho to a big degree. But in this sick woman's mind all gay males are limp wristed lisping pansy-boys who camp it up and scream at the drop of the hat like pre teen girls.

Secondly, gay males in general are as sex crazed as straight ones. But in Lafferty's tiny mind being gay means you want to stick your cock, tongue, finger, fist in any male hole you can find (or vice versa) and it's the only thing you ever have on your mind.

Thirdly, when you join the military the first thing they do is break you down so that you willingly become part of the team and you give up your individuality for the good of the group as a whole. But Andrea obviously thinks that gay males are above that kind of conditioning and that their love of dick and ass sets them apart from regular guys who become submerged into the military mind set. Swallowing jizz and having anal sex will do that to you I reckon, which is why they wouldn't let women serve for so long.

What this woman's quote really says is that she has no idea about how things in the military work and that she has no idea about what gay males who want to serve in the military are like. When this whole struggle of allowing gays to serve openly in the military first surfaced years ago a woman who used to be my boss said to me that she didn't want gays in the military because she thought that soldiers didn't want guys winking at them in a foxhole during a battle, they wanted guys who would fight along side them. I asked her if she knew that Alexander the Great was gay, she said she did not. I then asked her if she knew what her idol Barry Goldwater, she was , and probably still is, a hardcore conservative Republican, said about letting gays serve in the military and she said she didn't. So I told her what he said about it before he died. He said it didn't matter if soldiers were gay or straight, but it did matter if they shot their weapons straight. She said I was lying. That was the last conversation I ever had with her.

For hardcore social conservatives it's heresy for them to admit that gay people are equal to straight people in any way. They will never ever admit that being gay is the same as being straight and that people are born gay or straight. To them homosexuality is a character defect that is to be either fixed, mocked, or ignored. And allowing gays to serve openly in the military or to get married not only scares them silly, it undermines their argument that being gay is bad and sinful. They'll forever keep ignoring the fact that it's straight people who commit the most sex crimes, are the biggest majority of pedophiles, and are the ones who we need to protect gay people from, not the other way around. And there are two things that prove those points every day, the Roman Catholic church and self loathing closeted politicians like the one in CA who voted against every gay right measure he ever saw but who loved him some hot man on man action.

The louder you proclaim how much you hate gays and how they should have no rights or equality under the law, what you're really telling the world is that you are a self loathing closeted homosexual who needs to come out. So my advice to you Andrea is for you to find a nice butch gal who looks dashing in a flannel shirt and tight jeans and you ladies have a go at it. It'll do you both some good and maybe it'll help stop the hate.

So sad

I feel so sad for Miss California. She's being attacked for who she is (just like gay people are), for what she believes (just like people who believe in marriage equality are), and now it looks like she might lose her crown because she cheated in order to win it (just like the Mormons and other religious groups did in order to defeat gay marriage in California). She knew the rules of the pageant stated that there were not supposed to be any nude or partially nude photos in her background and she lied to the pageant organizers when she said there weren't. The fact that they came out after she made her bigoted feelings about gay marriage known is immaterial because the fact remains, she lied in order to win, she cheated.


She's said over and over again that she's speaking out against gay marriage because she has to defend her god. My question is, why doesn't the god who she is defending make all this bad shit go away? Why doesn't the sky open and he come down and kick everyone's ass who is being mean to her? You'd think that her god would be so overjoyed that someone was sticking up for it that he'd smite all the gays and straights who are laughing and making fun of all the trouble she's in now. Maybe the poor deluded hatemongering fake tit having beauty queen thinks she's going to get her reward in heaven for all the "good" work she's doing down here now. Well, if that's the case, then I really do feel sad for her.

Unacceptable

There was an anti gay hate crime in my fair city last night and you can read about it here.

This kind of shit sickens me beyond belief. And before any of you decide to leave me a comment that you're not surprised that this type of thing happened in TN, please don't waste your time because I'll just delete it. Let's be clear, this type of assault happens all over this country and it happens because of the climate of fear and anti gay hate that is stoked by the radical religious right and the Republican party.

Some in the radical religious right claim that they hate the "sin" of homosexuality but they love the homosexual. This of course is bullshit. People on the far right politically and religiously hate anyone who is not exactly like them. They need someone to demonize and and to try and "save" and who better to hate and despise than the people most unlike them in the world. It used to be they hated Jews, then blacks, then women's libbers, then hippies, then Communists, and now it's the gays turn to feel their wrath and unholy unchristian hatred.

Don't get me wrong people, not all religious people hate or fear gays. My friend Rev. Shuck is a huge advocate for gay, lesbian, and transgendered people. He's all for marriage equality and having gay people serve in the ministry. And he's a Presbyterian minister. And he started the local PFLAG chapter in our area. So not all men or women of the cloth are bad or "scum of the earth." Some actually believe in equality for all in all phases of life.

If people in the radical religious right stopped hating gays like James Dobson and Pat Robertson do and they started loving people the Jesus Christ said to then a lot of hate crimes against gay people would stop. But I'm not about to hold my breath waiting for the sanctimonious religious blowhards in this country to actually live as their messiah commanded them to.