A very special guest post from the late Dale Evans

Hello everyone, Dale Evans here with a quick recap of the past few days under the new hate crimes bill. Good dead born again Christians like me know that this new bill that extended the same rights to homosexuals that you live Christians and Jews already have is going to ruin our once great nation, just as many in the religious community have said. They knew things were going to change but they didn't know how drastically they'd change or how quickly they'd change. Here's what happened just this past weekend as a result of those homos being protected under the same God given rights as you and other believers in Christ and Creationism:

Many jars of various pickled items went uneaten this weekend because pot luck dinner after pot luck dinner at church after church was canceled out of fear that gay attendance at all pot luck church dinners was now mandatory under the new law.

Christians were boiled alive and no one was allowed to speak out about it because doing so would be a labeled a hate crime.

Doctor Doom was buggered by that flamer the Human Torch and he got fisted by the Incredible Hulk. Christian voices were kept silent in keeping with the tolerance promoted by the new law.
Pigs were forced to mate with Muslims and Jews while Christians were told not to say anything about it.

Cats and children were made to fornicate as well.

And finally, under the new hate crimes law it's a crime against fashion for Christians not to dress like homosexuals and so millions of followers of Jesus went out and bought up all the flannel shirts and soft ball uniforms on the planet and as a result of that lesbians were forced to wear pretty fairy costumes but most of them did so in an ironic way.

I hope for your sakes that Jesus decides to start the rapture and come back soon, but honestly, I wouldn't count on it because he's having too much fun partying with Elvis, George Carlin, Josephine Baker, Dorothy Parker, Marilyn Monroe, Gandhi, Miles Davis, and Picasso. So you're going to be on your own for a while longer and if I was you, I'd learn to get along and stop being such douchebags towards people you don't like or understand. Heck, if I can learn to live and let live with that whore Princess Diana, then you people ought to be able to do the same.

Hater-ade

The hate crimes bill passed and was signed into law today, thank goodness. On one hand it's sad that we have to have another hate crimes bill but on the other when you have people like Bernie Goldberg who spew hate via their books and via their Fox 'News' appearances and then act all innocent and claim it's not their fault when someone acted on their words, then I guess we do need such a thing as a hate crimes bill.

Bernie Goldberg wrote a book that listed 100 people, mostly liberals, who were, in his opinion, destroying the USA. Then this nutcase
stocked up on ammo and decided to go shoot up a church full of liberals because he couldn't kill the people on Goldberg's list. And in his suicide note, he fully expected the police to shoot him dead but instead the wimpy liberals he wanted to kill stopped him and they held him for the police, he said that he was out to kill liberals and he wished he could kill all the liberals Goldberg pointed out in his book. So to me, that's a hate crime and Goldberg is just as guilty of the deaths of those people in that Unitarian church in Knoxville, TN as the man who pulled the trigger. And this kind of thing is what the hate crimes bill that was just signed into law does.

It doesn't make the twisting of Jesus's words illegal, as some on the right have claimed. Preachers can still interpret the gospels in such a way as to demonize gays, blacks, women, and Latinos if they so choose. What it does do is make the act of saying, "Jesus hates gays so it's okay to go out and beat them up or kill them."
So don't be freaking out you born agains, you can still get your hate for gays, women, blacks, Asians, Latinos, and us atheists on. What you can't do is call for us to get beaten or killed in the name of your twisted hateful brand of Christianity.

And no matter how much you born agains hate it, the hate crimes bill made our world a little bit safer from the likes of you.

Unacceptable

There was an anti gay hate crime in my fair city last night and you can read about it here.

This kind of shit sickens me beyond belief. And before any of you decide to leave me a comment that you're not surprised that this type of thing happened in TN, please don't waste your time because I'll just delete it. Let's be clear, this type of assault happens all over this country and it happens because of the climate of fear and anti gay hate that is stoked by the radical religious right and the Republican party.

Some in the radical religious right claim that they hate the "sin" of homosexuality but they love the homosexual. This of course is bullshit. People on the far right politically and religiously hate anyone who is not exactly like them. They need someone to demonize and and to try and "save" and who better to hate and despise than the people most unlike them in the world. It used to be they hated Jews, then blacks, then women's libbers, then hippies, then Communists, and now it's the gays turn to feel their wrath and unholy unchristian hatred.

Don't get me wrong people, not all religious people hate or fear gays. My friend Rev. Shuck is a huge advocate for gay, lesbian, and transgendered people. He's all for marriage equality and having gay people serve in the ministry. And he's a Presbyterian minister. And he started the local PFLAG chapter in our area. So not all men or women of the cloth are bad or "scum of the earth." Some actually believe in equality for all in all phases of life.

If people in the radical religious right stopped hating gays like James Dobson and Pat Robertson do and they started loving people the Jesus Christ said to then a lot of hate crimes against gay people would stop. But I'm not about to hold my breath waiting for the sanctimonious religious blowhards in this country to actually live as their messiah commanded them to.