Our long national nightmare is over

It looks like Evil Spock is back. He's got a new post up on his blog and he's been spotted commenting on other blogs. I'm happy to see him back but I know how fickle he is with our blogmotions, he could be setting us up for a bad break up later. But we'll worry about that when it happens.

So to celebrate his first blog post in months, I offer up these two photos of Gong Li.

Let Gong Li's wistful smile be your welcome back to the blog world.

It's a Evil Spock-tastic day here at Monkerstein Campaign HQ

In the spirit of my new feature Two for Tuesday Evil Spock has pulled off quite possibly the best Twofer in the history of mankind!

He showed up this afternoon at Monkerstein/David 2008 HQ and he was wearing the now legendary Monkey Party Fez! Calm down ladies, Evil Spock came to see the lovely Ms. David, Samurai Frog, and I to discuss our campaign. He will be involved in high level talks with us until the wee small hours of the night or until all the hard liquor has been drunk.

His appearance at our humble campaign HQ in Monkey Party Fez was not enough, oh no. That's why the greatness of Evil Spock runs so deep and strong. You see ladies and gentlemen, Evil Spock has done what many said was impossible, he has found our Crunky! After many a long day and lonely night without our Crunky, it's now back! And it's all due to Evil Spock!We get our Crunky back and we get to get drunk, oops, I mean have high level talks with Evil Spock too! How feckin' great is that?

To show our gratitude, we flew in one of Evil Spock's favorite actresses, the fabulous Gong Li. Ms. Li was a bit shocked and bleary eyed after her kidnapping, oops, I mean after her flight over here, but she quickly warmed up to the notion of having wild passionate sex with, oops, I mean chatting with Evil Spock until the wee small hours or until the hard liquor runs out.

Long live Evil Spock! Long live my campaign! Long live our Crunky! And especially, long live Gong Li! And long live the exclamation point!

Who's taking August off?

Sen. Vitter from Louisiana?
Nope.
The hookers he loves to see?
Nope.

The ever higher march of the price of gas?

Nope.

This chick?
Oh hell no.

The hotness of Gong Li?

Never!

The guys who are occupying Iraq and Afghanistan?

Nope, but the Iraqis and the Afghans sure as hell wish they would.

Major League Baseball?

Nope. Tumbleweeds and brush?

Not while this guy is around.

Are the jaw dropping lies of Tony Snow taking the month of August off?

Sadly, no. Well damn it, who is taking the month of August off?

The guys we "liberated" over four years ago, the Iraqi Parliament.

Well that makes sense and it just goes to show you how little regard politicians installed by the Bush junta have for their people and for public opinion. Maybe that's a bit harsh, after all Tony Snow did say it was 130 degrees in Baghdad in August, oh wait, that may have been a lie too.

A League of Mullets Movie Review

Yo, we watched Curse of the Golden Flower last night and here is our review:


This film is about the behind the scenes machinations of the imperial family in China during the Tang Dynasty in the year 928 AD. The film follows various members of the royal family as they plot to either overthrow or protect the ruling family.

This movie has got to be one of the most visually stunning films ever made. The sets are eye poppingly beautiful, the costumes are a wonder to behold, the landscapes are stunning, and the actors and actresses are amazingly good looking. Case in point, Gong Li:

The film starts off with a ton of exposition but it all really is important to the story so we advise you to pay attention. After the prolonged set up the story revs into high gear and it features some of the most incredible action sequences ever filmed. Have no fear though, this is not a martial arts movie, rather it is a movie that has some martial arts in it. And it also has Gong Li in it. Case in point, Gong Li:
This visually stunning piece of cinema was directed by Zhang Yimou. He's the genius behind other films such as Ju Dou, Raise the Red Lantern, Qiu ju, and Happy Times. They are all good films but one thing made a few of them great films. And that one thing was Gong Li:

Also starring beside Gong Li in this epic is Chow Yun Fat. Chow is a great action actor and he proves in this film that he can do other things beside shoot a gun in slo-mo and wave his mighty sword around. Here's a photo of Chow Yun Fat, Zhang Yimou, and Gong Li.

Gong Li's performance stands out, as does that of Chow Yun Fat. Also very good performers in this film were Jay Chou as Prince Jai, Man Li as Chan Jian, the daughter of the Imperial family doctor, and that of Jin Chan as her mother. All of those folks turned in solid performances. But in our opinion the best one was given by Gong Li. Hers was a nuanced character that she infused with sensuality, pride, rebelliousness, and longing. She was divine in this movie and she looks pretty good in a backless dress too.

The extras on this DVD are kind of skimpy but they are worth checking out if only for a few more glimpses of Gong Li.
All in all we highly recommend this film and we encourage you to see it. The whole thing, not just Gong Li, is stunning to watch. And it also goes to show you how advanced the Chinese really are. They tell you in the DVD extras that the Tang Dynasty was a period of opulence and there is no reason to think they are lying. Now contrast all the wealth, opulence, and how far advanced the Chinese were in 928 with the Europeans of that time who were going through the Dark Ages.

Rent or buy this film, but just make sure you see it.


What's that Ms. Li? You say your clothes fell off and you got all dirty? You say you need a shower? Well please step inside the doublewide trailer Dr. Monkey lets us live in and we'll clean you off! Honestly, it's no trouble. Just step right in the shower. What's that? Uh, well we're just gonna get in with you and wash your back. That's all, just wash your back. We promise.

So say us! So say we all!!!!!