Mullet!

The League of Mullets has reformed and this guy is a pivotal playa in it.

A League of Mullets Movie Review

Yo, Dr. Monkey let us watch this movie last night:
And here is our review:

It's a funny mockumentary about the trials and tribulations of some novice teachers. It's a funny little film and we liked it except for the fact there there were no characters with mullets in it. Dr. Monkey said he'd bet that teachers would find it really funny.

The extras aren't much to write home about, there's a "making of" mini doc, some mock PSAs, and some other junk, it's all pretty standard.

Our verdict is: watch it, rent it, but don't buy it.

So say us! So say us all!!!!!!

A League of Mullets Movie Review

Yo, we watched Idle Hands last night and here is our review:Dr. Monkey is still getting free HBO and Cinemax on his digital cable so he let us watch this on Cinemax on Demand to get him and us in the mood for Halloween, although why he needs to get in the mood for it we have no idea, he and his girlfriend never get any trick or treaters, but to each his own we guess.This film is a horror/comedy about a pot head slacker high school student who gets hit by a curse and he starts murdering people. The film follows his trials and tribulations after he figures out he's the one doing the killings in his small California town. We're not gonna say much more about the plot so as not to give too much away about it.

Performance wise all the main leads did fine jobs. We didn't care much for Devon Sawa's slacker pot head character but we recognize that he did a fine job with what he had to work with. We really liked Seth Green as the wise ass friend of Sawa who gets murdered and comes back to life, we found his character to be knowing, wise and very amusing. It was obvious Green was having fun with this role. Vivica Fox was a bit over the top in her portrayal of the Druid priestess but we realize she was only working with what they wrote for her.
The one performance that we can say we loved was that of Jessica Alba as the girl next door who Sawa's character has had a crush on for years and who he finally hooks up with during his crisis. Whoever decided to cast her as the sexy ingenue who wears little and then even less clothes is a genius.This was her costume for the Halloween dance in the movie.

And this is Devon Sawa trying to grab her boob with his "bad" hand.
And this is the money shot of Ms. Alba having an exciting climax. Crap, I mean in the exciting climax. Miss Alba shined through out this film and she was totally believable as the damsel in distress. She hit the right mix of being scared and being smart enough to almost elude the evil villain, of course she couldn't elude it all together or Sawa wouldn't be able to save her now would he?

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All in all we have to say we had low expectations for this flick and the unsympathetic character played by Sawa did not help matters much for the first twenty minutes of the film but as it went on and we got into the story and the humor mixed with the gore we ended up loving this film. Of course a scantily clad Jessica Alba never hurt any film (are you listening Hollywood?). The jokes are funny and the horror is not over the top gory, it's more cartoony than horrific.

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We recommend you rent this, or buy it for your collection, or just watch it if it comes on cable or something. You could do much worse than watching this film. We liked it and if you like horror movies and comedies then you probably will too.

So say us! So say we all!!!!

A League of Mullets Movie Review

Yo, we're back from our trip to the Pacific Northwest where we caused much havoc, made fun of a pretentious blogger in Seattle, and totally got laid a boat load of times, we swear. After we got home Dr. Monkey made us watch Year of the Dog and here is our review: This charming little dramedy, oh how we hate that word but it really fits this film no matter what anyone says, is about a loner of a gal, played by Molly Shannon, who loves her little dog Pencil. One night her little doggie dies and she embarks on a sort of quest to fill the void in her life left by the death of her pooch. She meets a sexually ambiguous ASPCA guy, played by Peter Skarsgaard, teaches her niece about animal cruelty, gets into some hot water at work for "donating" money in her bosses name to animal related charities, and becomes a crazy dog lady for a moment before snapping out of it. This film was written and directed by Mike White who has written some other films and starred in Chuck and Buck and was also in School of Rock.

It's a fine character study of a character you don't often see a movie built around, the mousy office gal who is everyone's friend but who no one really knows.

Molly Shannon is perfect in this movie. She is believable from the first frame to the last. She exudes loneliness, hope, longing, and love for animals all at the proper times in the film. It's a pleasure to watch her in this film after seeing her in all those horrid Saturday Night Live sketches where all she did was kick up her legs and scream out a catch phrase over and over. She is subtle in this film unlike those old days of on SNL where she had to beat you over the head with her "wacky" characterizations.

She's sweet, funny, sad, and ultimately at peace in this little gem of a movie.

Also outstanding in the film are John C. Reilly, who plays an unsympathetic character for a change, Laura Dern, as the over protective sister in law of Molly Shannon's character, the little girl who's name you can look up on IMDB who played Shannon's niece, the aforementioned Peter Skarsgaard,
and the lovely Regina King, as Molly's work buddy.

We guys in the League of Mullets must admit to liking Ms. King very much.

Very,

very,

very,
very much.

We're fully prepared to forgive Regina for doing that Sandra Bullock beauty queen movie, hell who are we kidding? We'd forgive her anything including manslaughter and embezzlement if she'd give us a kiss and let us hug her tight for a few hours. If you've never seen the Ray Charles bio pic then you're missing out on another of Regina's great performances.



Our verdict is rent this film but if you love dogs or animals in general then you may want to buy it and watch it over and over. The extras are good, there's a gag reel, deleted scenes, and the requisite "making of" featurette. The only thing that would have made this flick any better would be if there had been a character in it who was sporting a mullet. We liked this movie more than we thought we would and we think you will too.



So say us! So say us all!!!!

Three short reviews

Since the League of Mullets will not be back until next week, they're currently in Oregon trying to score with lonely college coeds and drunken housewives, I'm going to give three short reviews of two movies and a book I just finished.

One of the nice things about getting free HBO/Cinemax on digital cable is being able to access the Premium On Demand channel. I'm watching all kinds of crazy movies that I wanted to see but would not fork over the filthy lucre to rent. Movies like this:

Loved it. I love funny horror/suspense movies and this one hit every nail on the head. The cast was perfect, the story was engaging, the horror was fun, and Elizabeth Banks is pretty easy on the eyes. I didn't expect to like this as much as I did but it was pure fun.

On the other hand this movie was just off the scale dumb, dumb in a good way but not near as good as Slither.

Everything was over the top, the acting, the effects, the props, everything. It seemed to me like they were trying a bit too hard to be clever and they missed the mark. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed most of it, except for the parts that were laugh out loud stupid. I dug Juliana Margulies, she's working that smoldering older Hispanic gal groove. Sam Jackson was fun in this movie but over all neither she or him could have saved it. It's no wonder it fizzled at the box office.

But one cannot watch stupid action and horror movies all the time. I started this book before we left for the beach and I finished it while we were there.

This is a fascinating book about two Canadian provinces that most Americans know little or nothing about, Newfoundland and Labrador. Gimlette, a British citizen, has a connection to these two provinces that you'll have to read the book to find out about, and he writes zippily about the time he spends there. He alternates between giving the history of the provinces with stories about his travels there, it's a technique he used in his previous book about Paraguay, which I also highly recommend. The stories about how the white settlers and government of Canada killed off and made dependants of the native peoples will break your heart, as will the stories and histories of some of the locals who still live there. If you're inclined to learn more about our neighbors to the north then I highly recommend you read this book, if you do you'll be highly entertained and you'll get more educated about Canada, eh.

Bottom line is Slither is wildly enjoyable, Snakes on a Plane fails to live up to it's hype, and Theatre of Fish is a damn fine book.

A League of Mullets Movie Review

Yo, we watched Red Eye and here is our review:


This film is about a woman (Rachel McAdams) who becomes mixed up in a plot to kill a government official. She is a manager of a luxury hotel on a flight back from her Grandmother's funeral and she meets a young man (Cillian Murphy) who turns out to have been stalking her for 8 weeks in order to force her into helping him and his compatriots kill the government dude. When pushed to the wall, both literally and metaphorically, she comes back with a vengeance and fights back against her tormentors.
We liked this film very much. It had just the right amount of suspense, a little violence, a smattering of things exploding, and best of all it had Rachel McAdams in it.

She was in Wedding Crashers, Mean Girls, and some others but he really shined in this one. She was vulnerable, tough, sexy, mean, kick ass, and super sweet when she needed to be. This chick should seriously think about becoming a kick ass action movie heroine because we found her to be totally believable in her action scenes. If they don't put her in another film soon we are gonna have to kick some butt in Hollywood.
But of course you can not have the mouse without the cat and the cat to Rachel's mouse in this film is Irish actor Cillian Murphy. He does a great American accent in this film and he is menacing as hell. We've enjoyed this guy in every thing we've seen him in. Some of his other films are Breakfast on Pluto (see that one too if you can, you will not be disappointed we promise you), 28 Days Later, and many others.

The rest of the cast was really window dressing for these two so we're not gonna mention them by name.
Long time horror film director Wes Craven directed this film and quite honestly it's nice to see him branch out and do something besides a splatter fest. He is very good at directing suspense and maybe he ought to stick to this type of picture in the future.

We really liked this little gem and if you dig suspenseful movies, then you will too. We don't recommend buying it but by all means rent it or check it out if it comes on whatever movie channel you have on your cable or satellite.

So say us! So say us all!!!

The Shortest League of Mullets Movie Review Yet

Yo, we watched part of The History Boys and here is our review:

We tried to like this movie but after watching 45 minutes of it we just could not get into it. We could have cared less if those dicks got into Oxford or Cambridge or not.

Our verdict is stay away and avoid this film unless you like to be bored.

So say us! So say us all!!!!

A League of Mullets Movie Review

Yo, we watched Blind Beast and here is our review: This wild as hell Japanese movie was made in 1969 and it probably was shocking and forward thinking for it's time but now it's just shockingly silly.The film is about a hot model (played by Mako Midori) who gets kidnapped by a blind sculptor (played by Eiji Funakoshi) who has heard about how hot she is. He wants to make a sculpture of her body, which he considers the pinnacle of the female form, and with his sculpture of her naked body he hopes to invent a new type of art made by the blind for the blind, an art that reveals how great the art of touching is. Naturally the young model, who is at the peak of her career naturally, objects to being kidnapped and tries to escape. Unfortunately for her the blind sculptor's mother (played by Noriko Sengkou) helps her son keep the model trapped inside the studio. Eventually though the model comes to accept her fate, falls in love with her captor, becomes his lover, and the two descend into a sado-masochistic pit of madness.

All we can say is wow, just freakin' wow. This movie is freakin' off the hook crazy. It's so wildly implausible that the blind man is able to not only "hear" about how hot the model is, let alone kidnap her, manage to get her to fall in love with him, and do all the rest of the crazy shit they do in the film.
The early scenes in his studio when he first kidnaps the model are screamingly over acted and cheesy as hell. The guy claims that all the huge boobs, eyes, noses, arms, and legs that he has sculpted and put on the studio walls are of women that he has fondled in the past when he was a full time blind masseur. He chases the model around the studio and they cavort all over the two big sculptures in the picture above. But of course since it's against the law to show pubic hair in Japanese movies neither of the sculptures has any hair down there and you never get to see the model's bush or the blind guy's pubes.The relationship between the mother and her blind son is one of restrained incestuous longing, especially on the mother's part, and when the model figures it out she exploits it for her gain. But she ends up killing the mother while trying to escape. Which of course means that she, the model, is now going to fall deeply in love with her captor. Got it? No? It didn't make sense to us either.
After they kill the mother the sculptor finally gets lucky and he bangs the model, who of course was a virgin as well! But sex between artist and model was not enough for these two crazy Nipponese lovers, no not at all. The sculptor keep the lights off now when he sculpts and after a few days or weeks or months, frankly we couldn't tell, the model eye's start to atrophy and she goes blind like him. She claims to love being blind because now she can experience touch the way her lover has all those years.

We told you it was silly.
But then it gets even sillier. They get bored with touching and kissing and screwing so much so they decide to start using other things to stimulate themselves. Things like bondage, and whips, and cutting one another. They really get into cutting one another and drinking each other's blood. Finally though they get weak from lack of food and from blood loss and they decide that they want to end their lives having experienced all that sexual bliss. So the model begs her man to cut off her arms and legs and he of course obliges her. He takes his own life after killing her and he collapses on her dead armless and legless body.

The dialogue in this film made us laugh out loud at times, especially when the artist says, "What good is money to a blind man like me?" Really? Do blind guys get free shit no one else knows about? Is that why he didn't need money? Another thing that made us laugh outloud was the fact that the artist was able to climb all over his sculptures to chase after the model but when his mother and the model were fighting he could barely get to the model in time to stop his incest wantin' momma from killing his would be girlfriend.
Our verdict is that if you want to see this crazy movie then go ahead but don't spend any money to do so, do like Dr. Monkey did and get it for free on your local cable's on demand channel. We will admit to like watching the lovely Mako Midori but she's the only thing worth watching this crazy flick for. Maybe we missed the symbolism in it or something but we doubt it. See it or not just don't buy it or rent it.So say us! So say we all!

A League of Mullets Movie Review

Yo, we watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and here is our review:
Dr. Monkey wasn't going to let us watch this one until he bought the double DVD set when it goes back on sale later this year but since he's getting free HBO and Cinemax, and he's not stealing it so don't get your panties in a bunch, sometimes the idiots at Charter Cable fuck up and give premium channels away for free on digital cable, and since it was on tonight he let us watch it.
We're not gonna reveal any plot here or even do a regular review because our feeling is we love these films no matter what. They do a great job adapting them to the silver screen and we think they just keep getting better and better. We'll just say that they really hit a home run with this one. It works on all cylinders and it made us want to watch it again as soon as it was over, and we will see it again after Dr. Monkey buys the double DVD edition when it goes back on sale.

We loved the new folks who came on board with this film, especially Miranda Richardson, who looks great as a blonde, Brendan Gleeson as Mad Eye Mooney, and scenery chewer David "I'm the new Dr. Who" Tennant. We would add Ralph Fiennes to the list but he slags the franchise sometimes in interviews, and when he does we say, "Hey Dick Brain, if you think it's beneath you as an actor to do these movies, then stop doing them and let another actor cash those big fucking checks."

Was it just us or did every time you saw those chicks like the one in the above picture wearing those hats did you think "Hmmm, tit hats."? Oh, it was just us? Really? Well, okay then.
We're glad that the kids are getting older in each successive picture because we were getting creeped out about how grown up looking they are getting. We're not admitting to any crushes but we're just saying that's all.

The only thing that bothered us in the movie was the bathtub scene with Harry and Moaning Myrtle. We understand she's a ghost and that she is supposed to be eternally young, but come on, we know Shirley Henderson is quite a bit older than Dan Radcliffe and it kind of freaked us out. Also freaking us out are the Weasley twins. Is it just us or do they seem unnaturally close?

We loved this movie just like we loved all the rest and just like we will love all the next ones. Buy it, rent it, watch it over and over again.

So say us! So say we all!!!

Here's a bonus clip from Dr. Monkey. It's from the late great BBC sketch comedy show called The Fast Show and it features Mark Williams the guy who plays Arthur Weasley in it. Dr. Monkey howls whenever he sees this clip and whenever he sees The Fast Show, which is known as Brilliant when it airs over here on BBC America.