Sometimes the apple falls pretty far from the tree

One of Michael Sam's father's first thoughts after hearing his son was gay was, "I don't want my grandkids raised in that kind of environment." Really?  Really dude?

You don't want the hypothetical grandkids you don't even have yet to be raised in an honest truthful loving environment where child molestation rates are near zero percent?  You don't want your grandkids raised by people who work hard, are honest, and who achieve things in life?  You'd rather they get raised by some Christians who use their bible as an excuse to whip and beat kids?  You'd rather a meth addict raise them?

Fuck you old man.  You're so far behind the times it's 1800 inside your tiny head.  You still think all gay men mince about in women's clothes while shrieking in a screechy falsetto.  You imagine them with a limp wrist and and dressed in frilly nightgowns.  You probably think they all secretly want to be women and that they exist so closeted  Neanderthal assholes like you can have something to beat up when they want to get a boner or to feel manly when your wife emasculates you.

Study after study has shown kids raised by gay couples do better in school, are more well adjusted than those raised by single parents, and they face around zero percent of sexual and physical abuse.  But stupid old people who hate gays ignore all that because your old worn out disproved stereotypes MUST be true or else why would you and your buddies still believe them?

Go fuck yourself you idiot.  You don't deserve the kids you have left much less a grandkid from one of them.  You're an old bigot who knows nothing and who I hope gets nothing if and when your son Michael signs a multi million dollar NFL contract.  Too bad your son had to be raised in the shitty environment you provided him, you remember the one old man, the one where one of your sons got shot and killed, another son went missing, and two of your other sons were in and out of prison all their lives and both are now currently incarcerated.  Yeah, I'd never want any kid raised in THAT kind of environment because face it old man, you're a fucking shit parent who'd be god damn lucky to have his grandkids raised by a confident proud out gay man and his partner.

OMG!

"Obama is a total socialist who I stood up to by making sure there are no background checks on gun purchases.  I'm totally going to be the Republican nominee in 2016."

No port in the storm

I was supposed to get my chemo port installed last week, a chemo port is a device they implant just under your skin in order to feed the cancer killing chemicals into you, but since the incompetent staff at Mountain States Medical Group-Trauma Services was involved it didn't happen.

My oncologist's office had called them to schedule the procedure but someone in Trauma Services fucked up the request.  And the reason I know it was Trauma Services and not my oncologist's office is the people, with the exception of the front desk staff, in my oncologist's office treat patients with respect and they actually explain things to them in a manner that's not condescending.  But before I knew Trauma Services had fucked up, I went in to their office for my 2 PM appointment last Thursday, I expected to get the procedure done then, but they told me they don't do surgery in the office and they acted like I should somehow magically know that shit, and then they told me I wouldn't even be seeing a doctor that day because the doctor that was supposed to see me didn't want to take the time out of his day to see someone else's patient.  But they made me sit in their smelly waiting room for over 45 minutes before they told me any of that shit.

When they saw how visibly angry Sparky and I were over their cavalier and rude treatment of me and my condition, they had some nurse who looked like she'd been a meth addict for a few years usher me back and tell me that before they could do anything I had to sign a consent form.  I asked Nurse Methhead if they had even made an appointment for me to get the procedure done in Same Day Surgery, she said they had not because I had not signed my form.  Once I signed it I asked her when they planned to make the appointment, she said they'd make it THAT AFTERNOON and they'd call me back and tell me what time it was for.  Of course NO ONE called me from that office later that afternoon and after I placed two calls to them, I found out that the person who does the scheduling had left for the day.   So not only does my time mean nothing to these people, they have no compunction about lying to me about scheduling appointments and returning my calls.  It's painfully obvious to me that everyone in that office works for the insurance companies and not for patients.

The next day I spoke to them again after they didn't call me, and I found out I'm to get this port installed on Tuesday morning, the day before I get my first chemo treatment.  Which means my chest is going to be sore as hell when I get my first treatment, whose side effects could cause me to have even worse diarrhea than I do now, extreme nausea, give me sores in my mouth and throat, give me rashes, and cause numbness in my feet and hands.  So thanks Trauma Services for the extra pain your incompetence is heaping on me, because the side effects of the chemo won't be enough for me to deal with.  Seriously staff at Trauma Services, fuck you.

I've filled my anti nausea prescriptions, got a bottle of the 'magic mouthwash' should I get the sores, and I'm ready to start chemo, that is if the dolts at Trauma Services haven't screwed me over yet again.

We'll see.

Here's a picture of the Tri Cities Hipsters For Paul Ryan Fan Club

Don't they look like a fun bunch?

A troll posted a comment on our Occupy Johnson City wall on Facebook and I responded to him

His comment:

Since these occupy events are all about people wanting something without working for it, I wanted to get my demand in first for the occupy Johnson City event. I would like someone to buy me a new car, prefer a new Cadillac. The SRX Crossover would be nice as the Escalade is a gas hog, but then maybe someone will buy my gas too?

I heard when Obama took office he was supposed to be filling up peoples tanks with gas, but somehow I have missed out on that program, if you can point me in the right direction for the free gas program I would appreciate it

My response:
I'm not sure what's worse, your misrepresentation of what these demonstrations are about or the fact that you blindly parrot the talking points of the right wing radio show hosts. Oh wait, I know what's worse, it's the fact that you feel so self important and puffed up with indignation against people who dare to use their rights of free speech and assembly to speak out against corporations and their ineffectual government stooges that you liked a page you obviously disagree with. Were there no puppies you could kick or poor person you could shout hateful things at?

Of course he was a middle aged white guy. They always complain the loudest when it looks like their white male privilege is going to be fucked with.

What's the last thing a CIA agent would ever wear?

A hat with the letters CIA on it.

Dear Canadian friends,

You know I love all of you and you know how much I love and revere your fine country. However, not all of your countrymen are cool or friend worthy. In fact, some Canadians are insufferable asswipes.

• Those Canadians who claim to be morally superior to us here in the USA, asswipes.
• Canadians who think they are clever and funny by comparing the people of Quebec to us here in the USA to illustrate how dumb we all are, asswipes.
• Canadians who constantly and persistently try to chat me up on Facebook, even after I tell them I do not want to chat, asswipes.
• Canadians who refuse to acknowledge that they too are Americans by virtue of the fact that they live on the American continent, asswipes.

Unlike the Canadian jerk who I just blocked on Facebook, I won't judge all of you fine people by one by example. Well, two if I include your insipid Prime Minister.

I still love you all and I love your fine country. And one day if the shit keeps rising like it is here in the USA, I may just move north to live with you. However, I'll be sure to stay the hell away from that idiot Bruce Hallet. And Stephen Harper.

Sincerely,
Dr. Monkey

Reason # 674 why I'm glad I'm an atheist

The guys from Insane Clown Posse outed themselves as evangelical Christians. They'll need to change their name now to Inane Clown Posse.

Christians all over the world must be rejoicing now that the lads from ICP have joined their ranks.

I wonder if they'll release a gospel CD. Gosh, I sure hope so.