Have you no shame Mrs. Obama?

Must you copy Rachel Dolezal's hairstyle?

Three out of three bears agree

Is the right wing outrage machine correct? Should we ignore Michelle Obama's plea to stop feeding kids in the USA the kinds of food that makes them obese?
"Ummmm, yes. You should stop trying to make them lose weight. We like your kids fat and stubby legged. They can't run very fast when we go after them and it's so much fun eating their bloated little bodies. Nom. Nom. Nom. So remember, ignore Michelle Obama and keep feeding those little lard ass kids of yours all that processed food, all that fast food, and keep stuffing them full of cheap meats and cheeses."
"I agree. Keep porking those kids up so I don't have to keep eating fish. You think it's a fucking cakewalk hunting fish in these cold ass streams? It's not. And I hate the taste of fish so if you keep feeding your kids shit, they'll keep getting fat, and we'll keep eating them when they wander off while you're out here in the wild. It's all your fault you know. You kept ignoring all those 'Do Not Feed the Bears' signs and we bears got fat as a result. Hang on...how do I know what those signs said? And how do I know I'm a bear? Have I attained consciousness? Hey, is that a fat little white kid staring at me while he licks an ice cream cone? Damn, that little fucker looks tasty. I'mma eat that motherfucker...see ya'll later."

Kneejerks

First Lady Michelle Obama has joined forces with Dr. Jill Biden to start an organization that is dedicated to helping out military families in need. I'm waiting to see how long it will be till some right wing pundit or politician claims that military families don't need any help from the government.

Hubba hubba!

Michelle Obama brings the glamour back to the White House. Too bad her husband isn't bringing the socialism to the White House like his wife is bringing the hotness to it.

For the first time in my life...

...I'm proud of the portrait of our first lady. And I mean no disrespect to Mrs. Obama when I say, "Hubba hubba!"

Monkey Muck world exclusives!

I snuck into the Republican Governors gathering in Miami and I snapped this photo:
And my crack staff of detectives managed to unearth this photo from Michelle Obama's early years.

That's all for now.

Oh what a night

If you call yourself a Democrat and you watched tonight's historic acceptance speech by Sen. Barack Obama and you were not inspired then you need to be rushed to the hospital because you might be dead. Our next President laid out his ambitious plan for our nation's future, he took on the Republican hate machine, and he tossed punch after punch to the bloated old body of Bush McCain, and boy did I love it when he actually said "Bush McCain" in his speech.

Our man gave the speech of his life and he did it in style. The stage looked great. Obama looked so...so...so...what's the word I'm searching for here...oh yeah, now I remember, it's PRESIDENTIAL up there. He was calm, cool, and absolutely in control. There were no gaffes, no mistakes, no tortured syntax, no embarrassing turns of phrase, in short he was everything that Bush and Bush McCain are not in the area of public speaking.

The points made by Sen. Biden last night about how Obama has been right all along and how wrong Bush and Bush McCain have been were so very evident tonight. I love how Obama said that McCain is the last one to cling to keeping our soldiers in Iraq when even the Bush people say it's time for a timeline to end this repugnant war. The choice was made clear tonight, Obama is the future and Bush McCain is the past, and you know damn well the Republicans are scared as hell after seeing what Obama did tonight. They know that Bush McCain can't inspire the passion that Obama has and they know that there is no way he'd fill a football stadium like Obama did tonight. McCain would be lucky to fill the parking lot of a Denny's off the interstate.
Finally my friends, contrast this photo with any picture of Bush and Pickles and their two daughters. You know in your hearts and minds that there is no way these cute girls are going to embarrass us they way those drunken Bush girls did. This family in this photo didn't have all the breaks that the elitist Bush family had. Nope, this family above had to work their asses off to obtain what they got. They got where they are through their hard work and because they were intelligent, not because one of their grandfathers was a US Senator who plotted to overthrow FDR. The family above got to their place in our history not by riding the corrupt coattails of their grandfather and syncophant father, they got there by serving others and doing good.

Now the hard part comes my friends, now it's time to put this family in the White House. We've made history by making Obama our nominee, now lets finish the story and make him our President.

She said, he said

Michelle Obama on the first night of the convention: "I love my family and I love my country."
Karl Rove's response: "No you don't. Only Republicans love their country. Your love of country is not adequate. Only Republicans love their country enough to break every law they can to keep themselves in power. Only Republicans love their country enough to keep a perpetual war going so that corporations can make more money off the taxpayers. Only Republicans love their country enough to keep millions of people disenfranchised so that we can steal every election. And don't forget this you angry black lesbian, Republicans are the only ones who God loves. Now you run along and tell that uppity husband of yours to go fetch me a piece of the Constitution so I can wipe my ass with it."

Oh Caroline...

Little Merry Sunshine beat me to this punch the other day but wouldn't it have been great if it turned out that Caroline Kennedy recommended herself to Obama's running mate?
Imagine how great it would be to have a Kennedy back in the White House. But as things have turned out, she did a great job introducing her uncle, Teddy Kennedy, at the convention last night. And wasn't Teddy great too? Imagine having a brain tumor and still getting up there and making a great speech and rousing the faithful with the hope that he'll lead the fight in the Senate next year for universal health care.

I thought it was great how Caroline enumerated all the great things her uncle has fought for and won us all over the years, Medicare, voting rights for minorities and women, etc. That's the type of thing we all need to do when the other side starts in on how liberals have "destroyed" the USA. Liberals built modern America and we all, even the conservatives, have benefited from all those liberal programs they say they hate, programs like Social Security, Medicare, workers comp, etc, and it's high time we keep reminding them of it.

I loved Michelle Obama's speech. She cut through all the bull jive in the nicest way possible to show why she her family deserve to be in the White House. I can't wait to hear how FOX news spins her into being an angry black female after that speech. She was the epitome of the loving/caring/nurturing mother/wife figure. She wasn't the cold, rich, out of touch, husband stealing, platinum blond heiress who owns seven to ten houses and flies around on a private jet and also was hip deep in the Keating Five scandal and who stole from her own charity so she could buy drugs like some other presumptive nominees wives I could mention but won't.

All in all it was a little bumpy the first night at the convention and there were a few missteps. The choice of a few of the speakers was questionable and the timing of things needs to be refined but nothing was as bad as Jim Leach. Holy shit Iowans, you elected that boring man to Congress how many times? Next time I have insomnia I'll play his speech from last night and it'll put me right out. Holy crap, I feel myself slipping into a deep sleep just thinking about it..............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Sorry. I nodded off for a minute. I need to run, I've got to gird my loins for night number 2 of my mostly pundit free, I'm watching it on C-Span, 2008 Democratic Convention.

Pride and prejudice

I'll be honest with you, I never thought we'd see this day in my life time. I never ever thought we'd ever have a black man be the nominee of the Democratic party in my lifetime. I knew for certain we'd never see a black man be the nominee of the Republican party and we probably never will. But I always thought that it would be another 100 years or so until we had progressed enough to vote for a black man to be our next Presidential nominee. But here we are with Barack Obama as the presumptive nominee of the Democratic party and I feel like I am not only witnessing history, I feel like I am about to burst with pride.

I was born in 1962 when the civil rights movement was just getting into gear. For the first ten years of my life I lived in the projects in Detroit. I was in the minority in my old neighborhood, there were only three white families in Smith Homes Housing Projects and ours was one of them. I grew up surrounded by black folks, my best friend was a black kid named Aaron Lewis, and we spent many hours playing, talking, eating, and in each others homes. As close as he and I were there was always something between us, and it was the unspoken knowledge that right then, and for the foreseeable future as far as we knew, that white people would always have the upper hand and would always run things.
But tonight things may finally have changed for the better.

For a country that once enslaved black folks and counted them as 3/5ths of a human to now have a black man as the presumptive nominee of one of it's major political parties is astounding. This has never happened in Great Britain, France, Brazil, or any other major democracy outside of Africa, so it's a historic day.

I started out backing Dennis Kucinich in this long Democratic party primary season and then when he started flirting with hitching his wagon to Ron Paul I dropped my support of him. Then he dropped out and I tossed my support behind John Edwards because I like his populist message, then he dropped out. At that point, frankly I was afraid to publicly back Obama for fear that I'd curse him too, but I went ahead and joined his camp and I never looked back. My first choice didn't get the nomination and neither did my second choice but I ended up backing the best choice.

And it's time for you Hillary supporters to join the rest of us in backing our presumptive nominee. No more holding out hope against hope that the super delegates will switch to her campaign. It's over. Obama won and if you care about your party, about this country, about ending the war, about ending Republican and corporate malfeasance, about keeping a woman's right to choose safe from the right wing religious nut bags, about reclaiming our civil liberties and restoring our reputation in the world, then you better get on this train. You need to support the man who history has chosen to be our first black President. Senator Obama has electrified a good portion of this nation and with your help we'll put him in the White House even if it pisses off the citizens of West Virginia (sorry June) and Kentucky.
When I was a boy people referred to blacks as n*ggers, jigaboos, monkeys, and animals. Now, 4o some odd years later people will finally call a black man "Mr. President." How effing cool is that?

Inspiration

Once upon a time when she was First Lady the late Jackie Kennedy influenced fashion and inspired a nation of women ready for change.

It's been a long time since those days and it seemed that no First Lady would ever have the same impact ever again, but finally things have changed.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the fashion statement inspired by Laura Bush:

I can't wait to see what our next First Lady, Michelle Obama, does for fashion.  

The early monkey gets the vote

I took advantage of early voting today and I cast my ballot in the TN Democratic primary race.

Who did I vote for you ask? I know I said I was going to vote for Edwards if he was still on the ballot but when I thought long and hard about it I wanted my vote to count towards something positive and I wanted my vote to help a candidate who was still running to get some delegates. Most of you know how I feel about the former First Lady, Mrs. Wal-Mart Clinton, so I was left with only one choice, and I actually feel pretty good about him being the Democratic Party's nominee. That's right boys and girls, I voted for Barack Obama.
I like the idea of having a black President. Especially one who was out organizing and helping to make his community a better place while Hillary was sitting on the board of the company which has done more to erode workers rights and to kill small locally owned businesses than most any other, Wal-Mart.

Obama is not perfect, no candidate ever is, but he's a damn sight better than Hillary. I also like the fact that someone I respect and admire greatly, Caroline Kennedy, endorsed him and that Jimmy Carter while not endorsing yet, has lavished a good amount of praise on him.

I'd like to see him pick John Edwards or Gov. Kathleen Sebelius or even Gov. Richardson of New Mexico as his running mate. And I'd also like to see him pick Dennis Kucinich to be Sec. of Labor, can you imagine the gains working people would make if Kucinich was Sec. of Labor?

The other benefit of electing Barak Obama would be we'd finally get a beautiful, smart, and did I mention glamorous First Lady.

If you live in a state that is having a primary next week, I urge you all to go vote for the Democratic Party candidate of your choice, but I hope you'll back Barack.