Showing posts with label Cindy McCain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cindy McCain. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

What is this guy smokin'?

Which brilliant campaign advisor told Bush McCain to go speak in front of thousands of smelly wife beatin' doped up motorcyclists at Sturgis? Do they not know that these people are hardcore assholes who don't bother to vote because they are too busy cookin' up meth in their backyards while their kids shake down the rich kids for some lunch money? And what genius told him to say that he wanted his wife to enter their "beauty pagent" where the contestants parade around topless and bottomless as well? I'm praying that James Dobson and Pat Roberston were watching that spectacle.

Between the air gauges and him trying to whore out his wife for the masturbatory pleasures of some hairy stinky Jack Daniels addled bikers it seems that McCain can't shove his campaign off the rails enough.

Please tiny baby Jeebus, please, pretty please let them keep doing this type of shit.

Friday, April 18, 2008

And now, here's a very special guest post by Mae Webb Stephens


Hi everyone! Mae Webb Stephens campground cook, creationist, committed Christian and anti Communist here. I guess I owe the liberal surrender monkey a note of thanks for letting me come back to do this post, so here you go Mr. Good For Nothin' Liberal, 'Thanks!"

Now, instead of Monkey Von ShouldBeUsedInLabExperiments doing one of his high falutin' cooking posts, I'm going to do one for you. Well, that's not strictly true because I'm not actually going to cook anything because my lady parts are acting up something fierce and I need to lay down on my lucky lawn chair for a while. So since I got this gig on Dr. Dumb Dumb's blog, I figured I better do something with it so I invited a lovely God fearing, Jesus loving, gay hatin' lady like me in to do the cooking. It wasn't easy for me to get her here, so ya'll be real nice and give her a big hand for dropping by! Here she is, Mrs. Cindy McCain, the hopefully next First Lady of the US of A!
Thank you Mae. It's a pleasure to be here. You just lay back on your lovely lawn chair and I'll show everyone how to cook up my favorite seafood dish of all time, 'Cindy Style Ahi Tuna!'

Hang on.

What? What is it? Why are you interrupting Cindy?

Yes, what is it Mr. Chimperstein?

It's 'Monkerstein.' Is this another recipe you stole off the Food Network website?

Well...uh...er...ah...uh....

Why are you embarrassing her? Can't you see it's really her recipe?

I'm not so sure. But Mae is right. There's no need to embarrass you in front of my readers. Tell ya what Cin-ster, if you swiped this recipe just raise your hand. No need to say anything out loud, just raise your hand and I promise not to mock you as I kick you off my blog.

I knew it! You recipe stealing, no shame having old tart! You're as bad as your dumb ass husband, both of you steal other peoples work and try to pass it off as your own. Get out of here you shameless old fraud!

Monkey! You promised you'd be nice.

Screw that. It's my blog reputation she almost ruined. Good riddance to her.

You ruined my guest post. I'm gonna pray extra hard that the baby Jesus smites you with his holy rattle. And then I'm gonna tell the John Birch Society all about you and your little blog. How do you like them apples?

The likelihood of you doing another guest post is diminishing with every word you speak.

When Satan's minions are raping you for all eternity I will be suckling the baby Jesus and laughing my righteous ass off at you.

You sure know how to sweet talk a monkey don't you?

Monday, September 10, 2007

McCain is off in the deep end

It seems that our old, and I mean old in the worst possible sense of the word, friend John McCain has gone off the deep end again. You remember the last time the old nut bag spewed up his craziness, he said that he could walk through the streets of Baghdad without an armed escort. He was then proven wrong in about .234549097007007 seconds.


Hey man, smell my fingers.

Well this time around ol' Johnny We Wish We Never Knew Ye has been clamoring about the war once again. He says that since the Democrats in Congress can't shove through a withdrawal plan and end the war without Republican help then their anti war message is losing it's appeal to the man/woman in the street. He went on to claim that because now that the Democrats are seeking a compromise with some Republicans to end the war that it means that they recognize that they are losing because they would never reach across the aisle unless they were desperate.


The poor old guy is delusional and his Alzhiemers has flared up again. Reaching across the aisle and getting things done by compromising is the way things work in Congress. Seeking to do those things does not mean that the people seeking compromise are weak or are losing, it means they want to actually get off their asses and do the people's business. The stupid old git actually has fallen for the Bush/Rove fallacy that compromise means caving in the Reich wing position on everything. As bad a President as Reagan was he knew that he'd get nothing done if he did not work and compromise with the Democrat held Congress. Republicans like McCain have been in office so long they actaully have begun to believe that compromise with their fellow Americans is a bad thing. It's times like these that make me wish I supported term limits.


The arrogance of his statements leave me stunned, especially considering that they came from a man who wants to be our next President.


I can only hope that the next time McCain goes off the deep end that he actually goes into the deep end of the pool and not into the deep end of his craziness. And I hope his wife is standing by in a bikini so I can oogle her while they fish out her nut bag husband.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Is it just us...

...or has anyone else noticed that Cindy McCain, wife of old cranky far right loon and erstwhile Presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain, looks a lot like the superheroine Black Cat from Marvel comics?

Because if they are the same woman, then that would explain alot about her nutty old hubby.

But maybe we're reaching a bit here, it's hard to say.