Hi everyone! Mae Webb Stephens campground cook, creationist, committed Christian and anti Communist here. I guess I owe the liberal surrender monkey a note of thanks for letting me come back to do this post, so here you go Mr. Good For Nothin' Liberal, 'Thanks!"
Now, instead of Monkey Von ShouldBeUsedInLabExperiments doing one of his high falutin' cooking posts, I'm going to do one for you. Well, that's not strictly true because I'm not actually going to cook anything because my lady parts are acting up something fierce and I need to lay down on my lucky lawn chair for a while. So since I got this gig on Dr. Dumb Dumb's blog, I figured I better do something with it so I invited a lovely God fearing, Jesus loving, gay hatin' lady like me in to do the cooking. It wasn't easy for me to get her here, so ya'll be real nice and give her a big hand for dropping by! Here she is, Mrs. Cindy McCain, the hopefully next First Lady of the US of A!
Thank you Mae. It's a pleasure to be here. You just lay back on your lovely lawn chair and I'll show everyone how to cook up my favorite seafood dish of all time, 'Cindy Style Ahi Tuna!'
Hang on.
What? What is it? Why are you interrupting Cindy?
Yes, what is it Mr. Chimperstein?
It's 'Monkerstein.' Is this another recipe you stole off the Food Network website?
Well...uh...er...ah...uh....
Why are you embarrassing her? Can't you see it's really her recipe?
I'm not so sure. But Mae is right. There's no need to embarrass you in front of my readers. Tell ya what Cin-ster, if you swiped this recipe just raise your hand. No need to say anything out loud, just raise your hand and I promise not to mock you as I kick you off my blog.
I knew it! You recipe stealing, no shame having old tart! You're as bad as your dumb ass husband, both of you steal other peoples work and try to pass it off as your own. Get out of here you shameless old fraud!
Monkey! You promised you'd be nice.
Screw that. It's my blog reputation she almost ruined. Good riddance to her.
You ruined my guest post. I'm gonna pray extra hard that the baby Jesus smites you with his holy rattle. And then I'm gonna tell the John Birch Society all about you and your little blog. How do you like them apples?
The likelihood of you doing another guest post is diminishing with every word you speak.
When Satan's minions are raping you for all eternity I will be suckling the baby Jesus and laughing my righteous ass off at you.
You sure know how to sweet talk a monkey don't you?
Or Dr. Monkey style potato salad and spicy chicken breasts.
I started out by washing those three red potatoes and peeling the other one. Then I cubed them all into bite sized chunks and I put them on to boil.
Next I chopped up a half cup of fresh parsley and I put it into the food processor with about three tablespoons of Dijon mustard and 1/4 cup of extra virgin olive oil and I pulsed it all together until it was all well blended.
Next I sauteed three small garlic cloves, one third of an onion, and about one fifth of a diced up red pepper.
I said that. Me. Mrs. Mae Webb Stephens. I'm sick and tired of your pretentious wanna be gourmet cooking posts. You need to stop them this instant! Instead of doing posts about froo froo pansy ass food you need to do food posts that feature good old American God fearing recipes. You know, things like Velveeta Dogs, Tuna Surprise, Corn Potato Wiener Bake, Ritz Crackers and mayonnaise, mayonnaise Sandwiches, and Tater Tots with Tarter Sauce with mayonnaise on the side. Now those are some good old Protestant Jesus loving dishes that anyone would be glad to eat or to take to a pot luck supper at their local church. I insist that you start cooking stuff like that this instant. All your talk of spices, flavors, herbs, and low fat cooking has me pretty steamed, why I bet you're hiding Communists in that kitchen of yours! In fact, I'm so sure of it I'm going to call whoever took J. Edgar Hoover's place at the FBI and I'm going to tell them to investigate you as soon as possible.
Anyway, next I chopped up some celery and I put it and the dressing and the sauteed stuff in a big metal mixing bowl.
Next I heated up my frying pan and I put in some oil, a dash of Vindaloo spice (it's a spice mixture we got a few years back at Satan's Breath Spices in Beaufort, NC), a teaspoon of paprika, and some cracked black pepper. When my spicy oil got hot I put in my chicken breasts. When the potatoes were soft I put them into the bowl with the dressing and the other veggies and I mixed the potatoes and everything else around until everything was coated with the mustard/olive oil/parsley dressing.
When the chicken got done I served it up with the potato salad and some carrot sticks. It was all very flavorful, spicy, and low fat. The potato salad can be served warm or you can make it ahead of time and serve it cold from the fridge. It was tasty both ways as I had it warm at supper that night and ate the rest of it cold with my lunch yesterday.