A very special guest post

News

The big news in camping this year is that adults finally admit that they hate doing it and that as soon as the kids get grown and leave the house they'll never camp again.

In other news Coleman is set to unveil a line of camouflage lingerie for the naughty campers among us.

And finally it's news to us that the red Chinese actually like camping. And here I just thought they were pining for the good old days of the Long March and the forced relocations of the Cultural Revolution. One thing is for sure, there's going to be lots of those Commies camping out because their homes are being destroyed to make way for the Three Gorges dam, though some would say that's a darn shame to make them camp out because of a damn dam. Hahaha.

Notes

Here's a note I wrote to myself last year that I found in my tackle box recently: "Remember to dig the pit deep enough to accommodate both bodies and don't forget to buy lots of lime." I'm not sure what I meant by that and yes my wife is still "visiting her mother in Nebraska."

The liberal one world government crowd have got me hooked on colored scented toilet paper and Andy Williams music and I like it. Go on, call me a pinko, I don't care.

My favorite palindrome these days is: A slut nixes sex in Tulsa and my favorite limerick starts out with the line, "There once was a man from Nantucket..."

Just when I got used to those new fangled VHS tapes they came out with DVD's. Now I'm lost again.

I pick circus peanuts over regular peanuts every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

I wouldn't kick Sally Struthers out of bed for snoring too loud but I'll damn sure stick a shiv in Josh Groban if he comes within fifty yards of me.

That's all for now!

And now, here's a very special guest post by Mae Webb Stephens

Hi everyone! Mae Webb Stephens campground cook, creationist, committed Christian and anti Communist here. I guess I owe the liberal surrender monkey a note of thanks for letting me come back to do this post, so here you go Mr. Good For Nothin' Liberal, 'Thanks!"

Now, instead of Monkey Von ShouldBeUsedInLabExperiments doing one of his high falutin' cooking posts, I'm going to do one for you. Well, that's not strictly true because I'm not actually going to cook anything because my lady parts are acting up something fierce and I need to lay down on my lucky lawn chair for a while. So since I got this gig on Dr. Dumb Dumb's blog, I figured I better do something with it so I invited a lovely God fearing, Jesus loving, gay hatin' lady like me in to do the cooking. It wasn't easy for me to get her here, so ya'll be real nice and give her a big hand for dropping by! Here she is, Mrs. Cindy McCain, the hopefully next First Lady of the US of A!
Thank you Mae. It's a pleasure to be here. You just lay back on your lovely lawn chair and I'll show everyone how to cook up my favorite seafood dish of all time, 'Cindy Style Ahi Tuna!'

Hang on.

What? What is it? Why are you interrupting Cindy?

Yes, what is it Mr. Chimperstein?

It's 'Monkerstein.' Is this another recipe you stole off the Food Network website?

Well...uh...er...ah...uh....

Why are you embarrassing her? Can't you see it's really her recipe?

I'm not so sure. But Mae is right. There's no need to embarrass you in front of my readers. Tell ya what Cin-ster, if you swiped this recipe just raise your hand. No need to say anything out loud, just raise your hand and I promise not to mock you as I kick you off my blog.

I knew it! You recipe stealing, no shame having old tart! You're as bad as your dumb ass husband, both of you steal other peoples work and try to pass it off as your own. Get out of here you shameless old fraud!

Monkey! You promised you'd be nice.

Screw that. It's my blog reputation she almost ruined. Good riddance to her.

You ruined my guest post. I'm gonna pray extra hard that the baby Jesus smites you with his holy rattle. And then I'm gonna tell the John Birch Society all about you and your little blog. How do you like them apples?

The likelihood of you doing another guest post is diminishing with every word you speak.

When Satan's minions are raping you for all eternity I will be suckling the baby Jesus and laughing my righteous ass off at you.

You sure know how to sweet talk a monkey don't you?

Guest blogging!

Whew, I have the honor, or will it turn out to be a horrible mistake?, of guest blogging!Commander Otherwhirled has graciously allowed me to guest blog on his great blog while he is out of town. Joining me in filling in for the Commander is none other than Tengrain from Mock Paper Scissors. I'm honored to be filling in for the Commander and humbled to be working with the great Tengrain, it's like subbing for M.C. Escher and having Rene Magritte back my paint by numbers ass up.
Seriously, if your snark levels are falling, then go see our guest posts over at the Commander's blog. And if you aren't checking out the Commander's blog on a daily basis, then what is your problem?