Some disturbing news

Oh, hi there, I didn't see you all standing there. I thought we scheduled this for a little bit later in the day. Uh umm, it looks like you caught me doing my exercises. Yes, that's it, exercises.

Oh well not to worry, I can still talk.

It seems that my old friend and undeclared candidate for the Presidency, Dr. Zaius, is up to his old tricks again. He's smearing me with his vicious baseless accusations and he is tarring my amphibian campaign manager as well. It would not wound me so if Samurai Frog and I were the only ones who had to bear the brunt of his outlandish barbs, lies, and insults. No, it's true, Zaius is not content to go after us, he must go after all Asian Americans with his hurtful hateful comments as well. He repeatedly mocked them and their cultural heritage by using the phrase "corrupt Monkerstein Power Pagoda" over and over again in his diatribes against me and my campaign.

We find his comment disgusting and so do all the Asian Americans who are up in arms over his attack on their ethnicity.

"We can't believe he said that! How insensitive can he be?"

"If we get ahold of him we will kick his hairy ass!"



"I forgive him, but only because my religion demands that I do."

I call on Dr. Zaius this minute to apologize to me and to the many fine Asian Americans that he has insulted and belittled. I call upon him to tell the world what is behind his baseless attacks and accusations and to finally come out and announce if he is running for the Presidency or not. The people of this great nation want a debate on the ideas and issues. They don't want insults hurled at me or the many hardworking Asian Americans.

As all of you can plainly see I am the only simian candidate who has put forth concrete ideas for moving this nation back on track after the disaster that is known as the Bush years. My learned simian friend Dr. Zaius has not offered a thing but lies, attacks, and insults. Either join me in the debate that will shape this nation Dr. Zaius, or you can just shut up and keep dancing with your Hollywood elite starlet pals.

Now, if you will all excuse me I must get out of this tutu. I have an important appointment to caress, oh oops, er uh, I mean, counsel a young Asian woman who is going through a very rough divorce. Hang on Padma, Daddy Monkey is on the way!