More Action Figures for Wal-Mart Shoppers!

Wal-Mart, in case you have not heard, is going to start selling Biblical Action figures soon in stores that have big sales of Bibles. So now your kids can have hours and hours of thrills playing with a graven image of our alleged 'Lord and Savior.' But for those times when plain old Jesus is not enough, there's Deluxe Jesus! Now with two jugs of water waiting to be turned into wine, 30 % more fish, and 15 % more loaves! He's also packing, if you know what we mean, under that robe.

The super prim and highly intellectual Jane Austen action figure had better watch out then! If Jesus gets a hold of her with his divine 'rod' and 'staff' there's no telling what ol' Jane might do!

Also new for the kids is Chuck Norris "barely in the closet" GI Joe. The gun and the knug fu grip mean he's all man but the swingin' medallion means he's all play when it counts!

For the less manly boy in your life there's the new George W. Bush/Trent Lott male cheerleader doll. This doll smashes through sexual stereotypes like a weaponized depleted uranium bomb exploding through an Iraqi home. "Rah, Rah, Rah!"

For the girls there's Skeletor,

and her sister Anorexia Disgustia! Also available is their bff action figure, Sassy Black Friend Man!

But the figures that are expected to take the toy and collecting world by storm is the Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein trio of terror figures! You can get Communist monkey,

Teddy Kennedy at the beach monkey,

or smooth and silky monkey!
Collect all three or give them to a kid and stand back as that child's face is filled with delight.

Please note that not all figures will be available at all Wal-Mart locations.