Monkey Muck: things I took pictures of in a grocery store

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Let's go grocery shopping!

The work crew who are building the corporate office building that is literally right across from the parking area of our condo broke a water line last night and so while I was waiting for some prescriptions to be filled I went to a local grocery store to get a gallon of drinking water. You know that one grocery store in your area where it's always 1979? Well, I went to my local 1979 grocery store this morning, I don't usually shop at this local chain, I shop at another instead. But I went there because it was close to the local pharmacy I patronize.

And of course I had my digital camera with me, so let's go shopping, downtown Johnson City, Tennessee style!

No worries you haters from across the country, just because the name of the store is "White's Fresh Food" they let anyone shop there now. Actually, the family that own the place is last name is White, hence the name.

The first thing you see when you walk in are the shelves o' value! Mmmm, lots of off brand and salvaged groceries can be found here in the shelves o' value. Most everywhere else yellow means caution or warning but at White's yellow means savings!

When you turn the corner you find yourself lost in a world of produce. Well, not so much a world of produce as it is maybe a tiny speck of produce. You want exotic stuff like red or yellow bell peppers? Jalapeno peppers? Tamarind? Fresh ginger? Garlic bulbs? Well forget about that shit because you're only getting the bare minimum here. And you're damn lucky to get that.

But then I saw something that caught my eye, something that drew me like a magnet, something that due to my years of bad eating habits made me powerless to resist it's siren song, what I saw was, if you'll look to the top of the picture above, a sign promoting SMOKED MEATS!

I ran towards the sign giddy with anticipation over what rich meaty delights might be in store (pun intended?) for me. Imagine my let down when I saw this:It was simply a wall of luncheon meats. Damn them for raising my hopes like that!

Off I went with hopes diminished. I spied aisles that were not quite overflowing but instead just flowing with stuff, food and non food items alike.

I looked up and I saw the at one time state of the art security system and I knew right then that I had better behave myself.

Then I looked up and saw quite a bit of water/giant mutant rat damage. I knew right then that my life might be in danger. So I decided to get my gallon of water and get the hell out of there.

I hurried past the seasonal merchandise aisle. I knew that soon, very soon, these shelves would groan under the weight of cheap Christmas crap that would be made in China.

I rushed past the shelves that contained off brand soda. I imagined that they would use this as the tag line in their commercials, "Hey, it's almost as good as the well known brands." The irony of course is that none of that shit is good, well known or off brand.

Then I walked hurriedly past white bread.
And more white bread.

Then I found the water and I bought my gallon and I hurried out. I was never so glad so be out of 1979 again. Whew! I'm thankful this time I made it out of 1979 without all that awkward teenage angst, zits, and strawberry double wide rolling papers. By the time I got to the pharmacy my geezer-esque prescriptions were ready and I drove home all the while cursing the speed demon teens who were flying by me doing every bit of 50 miles an hour on the interstate.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Two for Tuesday

Here's two pictures I took today of some stuff in a local grocery store:

Worst jelly flavors evah!

Anyone care for a guava soda?

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Seen around

I saw this guy who was wearing PJ's and slippers walking down the street yesterday at about 3:45 PM. I nearly ran off the road when I saw him.

I saw these in our local natural foods store the other day and I thought to myself, "Sure, she may be smooth but she's still got that camel toe goin' on."