My co host
Sigourney Weaver and I will sing many duets, engage in cheesy comedic banter, make out a bit, and do Tarot card readings for Phylis Schlafly and Christine O'Donnell. Then we'll track down the ever elusive Julianne Moore
and shave her muff so that we can weave a shirt out of her pubic hair. And we'll give that pubic hair shirt to Sofia Coppola.
Next I'll welcome on Eva Birthistle
and she and I will grease each other up in a mixture of turkey fat, pumpkin pie filling, and Vitalis and we'll tag team wrestle an international contingent of actresses that include Catherine Deneuve
Diane Kruger and 
Alex Kingston.And finally Mena Suvrai
will drop in to help us kick off the official war on Christmas.This year, with the help of the liberal media, the labor unions, George Soros, and Barbra Bush's miscarried fetus in a jar, we're going to kick Jesus's ass in the war on Christmas!
So don't forget to mark your calendars for this year's show, it's going to be super monkey-tastic!
