Where's Larry?

Well, well, well, it looks like another rock ribbed conservative family values Reich wing Republican has been outed for trying to score sex in a men's room. Senator Larry Craig (REPUBLICAN!) of Idaho has pleaded guilty to lewd behavior in a public restroom in Minnesota (note to self: be careful in public restrooms in Minnesota unless accompanied by Whiskey Marie and or Missy). Craig is another of those Republicans who love to scream about how bad homosexuality is in public while he chugs cock and bites his pillow in private. We here at Monkey Muck hate hypocrites of all political stripes, are you listening Hillary?, but we are nothing if not fair, so we decided to track Senator Craig down so we could get his side of the story.

Given his recent activities we began our search in some restrooms. Hey guys, have you seen Senator Craig?
"Nope. Now leave us alone." "Hang on, I saw him with his buddy Dirty Sanchez."
I caught up to Mr. Sanchez but the Senator was gone. I stayed on his trail like a blood hound following a strong scent.

I checked the public restroom at my local library. No sign of him there though.

I checked the restroom at the local Boy Scout camp. It was as empty as Bush's head so I kept searching.

I then got a lead that he might be hanging out at the AARP convention, he did hear that fellow liberal blogger Distributor Cap had just turned the big 5-o and he thought that Dcap might be there.

I made my way into the convention and there Senator Craig was sitting next to a guy in a red hat. It creeped me out that he kept calling the guy in the hat "Daddy" but since both men were over the age of consent I let it go. Craig spotted me and he ran.

He ran straight into the restroom. He tried to get handsy with this old guy but the old dude kicked his butt.

Craig managed to run out of the restroom and I ran after him. He jumped into this car and he drove off, I quickly followed him. He stopped for a moment to pick up a hitchhiker who looked a lot like Ted Haggard and then they both went to see their spiritual mentor the Farting Preacher.



All that gas was too much for me however. I decided to not give Craig an opportunity to tell his side of things, after all his party never wants to tell or hear the truth anyway, so I went home.