Dear President Obama,

It's time you got rid of these two ass rockets:

They are too beholden to big business and they refuse to do the things that need to be done to fix our economy. Moreover sir, they are part of the banking/academic/big business cabal that got us into this mess in the first place.

Fire them immediately and replace them with clear headed people who will have the intestinal fortitude to nationalize AIG, the big banks, and to end the lawless deregulation that got us into the mess we're in now. In fact sir, I'm willing to do my part for my country. Give me a call and I'll step in to either one of those jobs. I promise you sir, I will kick some ass, take names, and I will do what's best for the greatest number of people, and you can bet I'll be public enemy number one on Wall Street and in every corporate boardroom by the time I am done because I am on the side of the working people of this nation and not on the side of the leeches in big business.

I promise you further that I will be fair to all small businesses but big business will get a beat down from me. It has to be done sir and the longer Timmy and Larry are in positions of power and influence the longer it will take for our economy to recover.

Fire the idiots who drove us to this economic cliff and hire me to turn this motherfucker around. You won't be sorry you did it, I promise you that.

Yours,
Dr. Monkey

PS: Give that tall piece of brown sugar you call Mrs. Obama a kiss for me!

What to do with Hillary

If I was President elect Obama I'd nominate Hillary Clinton to be Attorney General. She'd make a kick ass top law officer of this nation and she'd clean house on all those shitty Bush lovin' jeebus freaks that Monica Goodling hired. I'm a little frightened about her being Sec. of State because she's a little too hawkish for my taste.


I'd also find a place in my administration for Hilary Duff if I was Obama. And I'd be so kind as to find a place for her sister Haley Duff too. That's how I'd roll if I was Obama, I'm just sayin' that's all.

Why the Republicans lost

Here's a few reasons why the Republicans lost the White House and so many seats in Congress:

• The lying murdering greedy pig known as George W. Bush.
• Dick "I have no compassion" Cheney.
• McCain had months to find a running mate and he ended up picking someone who was supposed to do what he could not, excite his base.
• Obama out organized everyone and that includes Hillary and McCain.
• The unpopular war.
• The bad economy which was brought to us by years and years of failed conservative fiscal policy and corporate greed.
• McCain's insulting pick of Sarah Palin was supposed to get disaffected Hillary supporters because Palin has a vagina. Duh. Genitals is about the only thing she and Clinton have in common.
• McCain ran a lackluster campaign that counted on everyone supporting him because he was a POW.
• People have finally seen through the religious right.
• The anti immigrant stance of the GOP finally woke Hispanics up.
• McCain's many flip flops. The one that really did him in was when he went to Liberty University and he had his picture taken with that dead homophobic pig Falwell.
• No matter who many times they try to tell us that we are a "center right" nation, we're not. Americans support Social Security, Medicare, and a majority of us support single payer universal health insurance, those are all programs and ideas promoted and supported by the left.
• The failure of the corporate media to frame the debate. They kept trying to distract us with things like Rev. Wright, Hillary's pants suits, the "rift" between Hillary and Obama, Mitt Romney's 17 kids, Mike Huckabee's penchant for fried squirrel, but it didn't work.
• After 8 years of being led by a moron who not only does not understand the Constitution, he disdained it, we had had enough. No amount of fear mongering and phony patriotic bullshit was going to sway us from tossing out the people who brought us the economic meltdown, the war of terror, domestic spying, the Patriot Act, and who stood by and let 9/11 happen.

For the past 14 years 'bi-partisan' has meant that progressives and Democrats had to be more like Republicans, here's hoping that that kind of backwards thinking becomes obsolete. President-elect Obama and the new larger Democratic majority in Congress have a clear mandate to change the policies that brought us all this pain and national shame. This election was a slate cleaner, let's make sure they do what we the people want and not what the corporations want.